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Many women have an image of who their ideal partner would be based on certain characteristics they possess. The problem? Their laundry list.
The Laundry List
A laundry list is basically a list of things a woman wants in a man.
The problem with the laundry list is that most of the attributes on these lists don’t necessarily speak to a man being a quality person that you should date.
Many women’s laundry list reads like this: Must make over 100k (or insert any amount here), must be physically fit, must be tall, must have this type of car, and the list goes on.
While it’s definitely necessary to have an idea of the type of man that’s a good match for you, your laundry list should have more depth. The items on this list should address qualities that are common to good men.
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Make A Viable List
Here’s a helpful exercise to help you widdle down your laundry list to the most important qualities you want in a man.
First, write down all the things you feel you want in a long term partner.
Second, choose 3 to 5 items on your list that aren’t references to superficial qualities.
Superficial qualities would be income, physique, car, etc. These things are superficial because they can easily change and don’t address any characteristics that make up a good man.
These 3 to 5 items are the only items that you should deeply contemplate when picking a man to date.
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Reality Check
I know it would be nice to have the rest of the things that are on your list, but let those other items be bonuses and not deal-breakers.
You should be extremely flexible in those items that are outside of your core 3 to 5 attributes.
Get real with your laundry list and don’t let it hold you back from getting the quality man you really want to date!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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Dee's Dating Diary 
I wrote a blog like this a week or so ago but I like how you offered a realistic approach.
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Thanks Tania!! I’m glad you liked my approach!!
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Thanks for this, though I doubt those who have lengthy laundry lists are really going to pay attention. I’ve often found that those with the least to offer a man are the ones who have a greater number of demands. The tragic thing is, even if they did find a man with all of their demands, what’s to say that they live up to what he would want? The most desirable men and women can be incredibly picky because they are never going to be short of options.
There’s nothing wrong with having standards, but too many cross that line into clinging to a fantasy; they don’t consider what it is that they can reasonably attract in return. For example a 40 year old single mother of three kids who has no education, has never travelled, has no hobbies beyond daytime television and is morbidly obese might tell herself that she deserves no less than a 6′ muscular airline pilot but she will only harm herself in failing to realise that she doesn’t have much to offer him in return.
Anyway, sorry about the essay but the best you can do is – as you said – pick a core of a handful of things that are non-negotiable and take it from there 🙂
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You’re right that sometimes the most desirable men and women can be incredibly picky because they have a lot of options. But, having many dating options doesn’t give people a pass to have an unreasonable laundry list of things they want in a partner.
Great insight, thanks for commenting!! You brought up some great points, as always!!
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Of course not, and ultimately they will only do themselves a disservice when they wake up age 45 surrounded by cats and wondering where it all went wrong – though those that never learn that lesson will always blame shallowness of the opposite gender instead of their own inflexibility 🙂
I think the important thing is to be – not just flexible – but reasonable too.
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I definitely agree that it’s important to be both flexible and reasonable!! Thanks for sharing!
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This assumes that the goal is to “get a man” because there is nothing worse than being old and man-free. I am 53 and have not been in a serious relationship for a long time ~ I’m also happier and more at peace than I’ve ever been. And I have a cat! (Just one.). This isn’t because of lists or unrealistic expecations or any other thing. It’s just the way it is when you divorce late in life, have some “baggage,” and the men you meet have baggage, too. Unfortunately two sets of baggage don’t always fit in a relation-ship. That said, I’ve just begun a new one, so we shall see. I don’t feel desperate to make it work though, since I know I am fine alone.
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This does assume that the goal is to get a man and I realize that this is not every woman’s goal. And, it’s certainly not a bad thing to be older and man-free!
It’s great that you were happy and at peace before your relationship, it is important to be happy and content with yourself before committing to another person. And, you’re right, we are definitely all fine alone! Thanks for commenting Paula, it’s always great hearing your thoughts!!
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