Entry 5: Be the Woman he Wants to Conquer: Courtship, Where has it Gone?? Pt. 1

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Where has Courtship Really Gone??

The reality is, men don’t want a woman that is 100% available to them when they first meet and in the early dating stages. Men really do love to chase a woman. But why is courtship nearly extinct?

So many women are giving away their cookies for, pretty much, nothing and making it extremely easy for men to use and discard them.

Majority of the time, the man hasn’t taken the women out and courted her the way that he should, and he hasn’t even agreed to be in an exclusive relationship with the woman.

But, us women devalue ourselves, feeling that it’s okay that the guy doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship with us or that he wants to continue dating other people and still see you!

Or if he refuses to put legitimate effort into dating and courting you, you rationalize it by saying, “Well he’s paying back a lot of student loans.”

Or ” he’s starting his own business so he doesn’t have much spending money” or maybe you said the time old “he just doesn’t make much money, so I can’t expect him to use any money to take me out.”

But the truth is, you want a man that feels strongly enough about you that he’ll let his money get a little tight just to put a smile on your face.

Once we devalue ourselves, so do men. We have to show men that we will not give up our cookies and treat them like a boyfriend or husband when they can’t even go out of their way to do the standard courteous things a man is supposed to do for a woman he just starts to date.

Men have it all now a days. They can have their cake and eat it too! They can sleep with as many women as they want and have each and every one of those women catering to the man and doing for him, basically, what a girlfriend or wife does for her man.

Women outnumber men and because we feel that scarcity of the availability of “good men” or just men period, we compromise every last thing we want in a man and in a relationship just so we can finally say that we have a “boyfriend” or “husband.”

So what do we do about this dating dilemma that plagues our society?

Well, we as women have to get it together as a whole. It’s hard to get respect as one woman when every other woman allows themselves to be disrespected or taken advantage of by men.

Its almost like the standard is that most men WILL disrespect you in some way when you’re first dating!

And you, as the woman, have to let him know that you will not tolerate being disrespected. This way you get the respect that you rightfully deserve!

So, if us women could come together and collectively decide that we will not allow any men to treat us with anything less than respect and courtesy, then men as a whole will start to treat us more respectively.

But, we ALL have to put our foot down. If many of us still allow men to disrespect us, take advantage us, or make us “the other women,” then men will glady accept that and continue to expect that from many of us!!

For more on this subject and to hear the male perspective on this topic, please tune into my podcast at http://www.deesdatingdiary.podomatic.com or you can download this episode here: Download episode

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Entry 2: Phone Etiquette Pt. 1- Calling

Your behavior in the first stages of dating, specifically your phone etiquette, is especially important because it allows people to learn more about you without you having to say it yourself. Be careful, because the person you are calling may be learning more about you than you really want them to know.

Calling someone too much can make you look needy, desperate, or dependent. Calling a man out of boredom, insecurity, or neediness is ESPECIALLY bad if you really don’t have anything to say. And trust me, men can tell when you have absolutely nothing to say and are just calling to call.

Let the man take the lead with calling you so that you can actually see his true level of interest in you. Maybe he’ll only call you Saturday nights at midnight, I don’t know. But, if you don’t let him show you, you’ll never know either.

Check out my podcast to hear the full conversation on this topic. You can access my podcast at http://www.deesdatingdiary.podomatic.com or you can download this episode right here: Download episode.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till next time,

Dee