Your Confidence Is Dependent On Men And You Don’t Even Know It!

We’ve all been there. We’ve been stood up, taken for granted, compared to other women, cheated on, broken up with, and the list goes on… 

What happens afterwards, though, that is the most important part.

You see, we all tend to internalize negative feelings about ourselves because our dating life or relationships are going the way we want them to. And so we bash and blame ourselves for someone else’s actions, thinking things like–

  • What’s wrong with me?
  • Why aren’t I enough for him?
  • Why can’t I be like ____ (fill in the blank)?
  • Why doesn’t he appreciate all the things that I do for him?
  • I hate the way I look!
  • My body is disgusting!
  • I am so fat!
  • Why can’t I be super skinny? 
  • If I was prettier this wouldn’t have happened!
  • I must be bad in bed!
  • I’m not fun to be around!

Of course, there’s an endless list of nasty and negative things that we beat ourselves up with.

And why? Why do we do this on a regular basis??

We do it because, for some strange reason, it’s easier than loving ourselves and pushing away men who aren’t good for us.

Dependent Confidence

Most of us have been trapped in that cycle of living for other people’s acknowledgment, love, and approval. If we do start to like ourselves a little bit in some area, it’s usually only a matter of time before we qualify our confidence and reduce it accordingly.

Our self-image and confidence is often based on what society and the media tells us we are supposed to be. But when we let the outside world decide how we need to look, what will “complete” us, and what we need in order to be happy, we’re actually deciding to live unfulfilled, unhappy, loveless lives.

Remember, when you don’t love yourself, you can’t truly let a healthy love come into your life.

Artificial Confidence

Translated to the dating world, many of us have allowed our confidence to be entirely based on how men treat us or view us, how often men are calling us, or how often they tell us we’re “beautiful,” “gorgeous,” or “sexy.”

You should never need to hear a man say, “you’re beautiful,” to truly believe it deep down inside. 

Think about it this way, if you’re dating a man who constantly tells you that you’re beautiful and you start believing it and feeling really good about yourself, what is going to happen if you break up with this man?

Your confidence is going to drop quicker than it rose and that’s because it was never true internal confidence. In these situations, you’re building up an artificial confidence that feels real at the time, but isn’t. It’ll only last as long as you’re in that particular relationship and the man hasn’t messed up.

Get Control Over Your Confidence

Unless you do the internal work to regain control of your self-image and, therefore, your self-esteem and self-confidence, you feeling good will always be dependent on men, society, and the media.

The process begins with self-awareness and ends with a discovery and love of all the greatness within you.

Start by asking yourself these questions: 

  • Why do you feel the way you do about yourself?
  • Do you question your beauty or worth when things go wrong?
  • Are you comparing yourself with other people?
  • Are you internalizing other people’s beliefs about what is beautiful?
  • Are waiting for someone to make you happy or complete you?
  • Are you in control of your own emotions?
  • Are you in control of your thoughts and beliefs?
  • Who and what is influencing your feelings about yourself? 

Cultivate Your Own Joy

I frequently hear women say they’ll be happy when they find a husband and have kids, but the truth is, there are no external things that can make you happy.

If you can’t be happy right here and now, exactly where you are, a marriage and kids won’t change that. A marriage won’t fix any of your problems, in fact, it might make them worse.

So make a decision to take control of your self-image, self-esteem, and overall confidence today! The first greatest love of your life is going to be with yourself!

If you need help getting there, don’t stress! Schedule a dating coaching session today and grab my new book Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You DeserveAmazon | Barnes & Noble

Till Next Time, 

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Why I Inspire Women To Love Themselves

This week, I had the honor of being featured in a DatingAdvice.com article. The article really captured what I’m about and how I’m working to improve the dating world for women.

“According to Dee’s dating philosophy, when a woman knows her worth, she causes men to treat her better, and that can change the dating ecosystem one relationship at a time…”

Read the full DatingAdvice.com article here: “Dating Coach & Blogger Dee Simone Inspires Single Women to Love Themselves & Know Their Worth

Stay tuned because I’m bringing you more great dating advice next Saturday at 8pm EST!

Till Next Time,

Dee

P.S. Don’t forget to grab your copy of my new book– Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

A Man’s Take On A Woman’s Dating Advice Book

I provided Andreas Michaelides of Thirsty For Health with a complementary copy of Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve in exchange for an honest review. Here’s some of what he said:

“This book is an efficient down to earth guide for women that want to stop having failed relationships. It covers a lot of issues that a woman should take into consideration and also fix in her life to be able to attract the right man into her life…

I loved the engagement the exercises offer with the reader… I am not a woman, but the philosophy can be applied to both sexes. I learned a lot about me. I did all the exercises, I had to twist the questions for men, but it was a fun thing to do. Also, the book helped me realize and understand a lot of issues I had with my ex-wife and even see and comprehend a lot of her behavior, especially her jealousy scenes…” Continue reading on Thirsty For Health

Ready to change your dating and relationship life for the better? Get your copy of Picking up the Pieces today: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Books-A-MillionSmashwords

Till Next Time,

Dee

Need Dating Advice? Get A Free Consultation With Dee The Dating Coach!

Do you need dating or relationship advice?

The first 15 people to contact me using the contact form below will get a free dating or life coaching session with me. See for yourself how a one-on-one session can help improve your dating and everyday life!

Want great dating advice you can keep on hand? Get my new book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Help! We Had A Great First Date, But He Hasn’t Called Since

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

I had a great first date with this guy, but almost a week has gone by and he hasn’t called or texted me. I thought we made a good connection and were into each other, but now I’m starting to feel like I was wrong.

What does it mean if he hasn’t contacted me in days? Does he not want to see me again? Did I do something wrong? I will admit our date was a Netflix and chill night and he tried to make a few moves on me, but I didn’t sleep with him and only kissed him at the end of the night. Should I reach out to him? Is he waiting to see if I want to continue talking? 

Dear Dater,

If you had a date with a man and he hasn’t called or texted you for more than 3 days after your date, he’s just not that interested in you. However, because this guy wanted to “Netflix and chill” and did make some passes at you, he may not have been looking for a potential relationship and was only interested in getting in your pants.

Since you rejected his advances and only kissed him at the end of the night, he may have decided to move on to an easier target.

Don’t feel bad about this. It’s really a great thing because now this guy won’t be in the way of the right man coming into your life. You don’t want to waste time dating the wrong men so don’t dwell on this situation or reach out to him to force a conversation that isn’t meant to take place.

Also you should avoid having a Netflix and chill date for at least the first 5-6 dates. You don’t want to subject yourself to men making aggressive passes at you or even worse, forcing themselves on you. It’s better to be safe and wait until you get to know a man better before you invite him into your home or go to his.

Furthermore, you’re more likely to move faster with a man when you’re in the comfort of a home as opposed to somewhere like a restaurant. So, hold off on the Netflix and chill and stick to public dates until you’ve gotten to know each other much better.

For more great dating advice and tips for being safe while dating, check out my new book Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve Amazon | Barnes & Noble.

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone