Why Many Marriages Fail

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There isn’t a one-size fits all reason for why marriages fail.

But, there is a very common reason, outside of infidelity, that I do want to discuss.

Specifically, a lot of marriages fail because of the unexpressed expectations for a husband and wife.

Unexpressed and, therefore, unfulfilled expectations can set marriages up for failure long before they start.

Image courtesy of Kongsky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Kongsky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Heightened Expectations of Marriage

When you think of being married, you innately have an image in your head of what you expect your husband or wife to be.

There’s a lower threshold of responsibility and devotion in a relationship, but marriage naturally increases what you expect out of your now husband or wife.

No matter how you are during the relationship, both men and women will have heightened expectations for how you should act as their spouse.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Examples of Heightened Expectations

A woman, for example, may expect her husband to pitch in more around the house.

A man may expect his wife to regularly cook dinner every night, despite the fact that she never cooked while they were dating.

Whatever it is that you picture in your head for a husband or wife is the heightened expectation you hold for the person you will one day marry.

The problem is when you go into a marriage with unspoken expectations and expect your spouse to meet them.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Unexpressed Expectations

Remember, we are not all mind-readers. Unexpressed expectations will lead to unmet expectations, which can lead to an unhappy marriage and, ultimately, divorce.

So, you have to communicate!

BEFORE you get married, take the time to discuss your expectations of a husband and wife.

Your spouse may be ready and happy to meet your heightened expectations in a marriage, but if you don’t communicate your feelings to your spouse, you’re essentially setting them up for failure.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Give Your Marriage a Fighting Chance

There’s nothing wrong with having expectations of a husband or wife, as long as they’re reasonable, of course.

But, don’t let your spouse get blindsided years into the marriage with what you’ve been expecting from them since the marriage ceremony!

Give your partner the opportunity to keep you happy in your marriage and express your expectations of a husband and wife!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

6 thoughts on “Why Many Marriages Fail

  1. Also, sometimes in a long-term marriage expectations change, as people age and change. That is OK as long as you can talk about it. The most important thing may be finding someone you trust enough to bare your soul to, and vice versa. If someone gets defensive or critical every time you try to talk about your needs, that is a huge red flag.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well yes, I think some people get married thinking all the little niggles and concerns will suddenly evaporate when they have that magic bit of paper – as though each will becoming the perfect and doting partner they never were before they got married.

    These days, marriage seems to be the conclusion of a healthy relationship instead of the start. That is a good thing, but it’s important not to lose sight of the reality or you’ll set yourself up for a major fall.

    Liked by 1 person

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