Men can’t just be friends with women!

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic/

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic/

The question of whether men and women can just be friends is one that regularly comes up in conversations and opinions vary drastically on this topic.

My answer to whether men and women can maintain platonic friendships is slightly more complex than the common answers. It’s two fold, from the male perspective and from the female perspective. It’s definitely worth reading!
Image courtesy of Marin /

Image courtesy of Marin /

Can MEN Just Be Friends With Women?

No! Men cannot just be friends with women. If a man starts being friends with a woman, most likely it’s because he hopes to have a sexual relationship down the line.

Men are not like women. They don’t meet a woman and think, “Hey! This is someone I can become good friends with!” When a man meets a women, friendship is not on his mind!

While women can easily meet men and think, “Hey, I don’t see myself with this guy, but we could definitely be friends,” men don’t think this way.

If a man isn’t interested in dating you, most likely, he isn’t going to start including you in his rotation of friends.

He May “Act” Like A Friend

Some men can put on a great act like they aren’t interested in sex at all and only want a friendship. But, if you decide you want to sleep with him, I bet you he won’t turn you down!

Although a woman may genuinely intend to have a platonic friendship with a man, a man’s mind is not in the same place!

A man’s ability to maintain a platonic friendship with a woman depends on two things: his character and how the woman feels about him. I’ll explain below…

Image courtesy of Stockimages/

Image courtesy of Stockimages/

Can WOMEN Just Be Friends With Men?

It depends! Truthfully, there is only one scenario where a woman can just be friends with a man. This can only happen when the woman is not at all attracted to the man and is not interested in dating him.

When a woman isn’t attracted to a man and doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with him, she can easily maintain a platonic friendship with him.

So, a man can only maintain a platonic friendship with a woman if the woman does not want him at all. This is the only way!

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic /

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic /

He Won’t Turn You Down

The truth is, if a woman makes an advance on a man nine times out of ten, he isn’t going to turn her down. So, if a woman is attracted to the man she is friends with, then their platonic relationship is likely to lose the “platonic” real quick!

If a woman definitely doesn’t want the man she is friends with, she:

1. Won’t make any moves on him; and

2. She’s likely to turn down his… unless she’s in a really low place.. :/

Therefore, the only way a platonic friendship between a man and a woman can be maintained is if the woman is not attracted to the man and doesn’t want to be in a relationship with him.

Image courtesy of Ambro/

Image courtesy of Ambro/

It Also Depends On His Character

Although the woman can’t be attracted to her male friend for a platonic friendship to work, the male friend also has to be mature and respectful in order to accept and maintain that platonic friendship.

A woman can be as uninterested in her male friend as she wants to be, but if he isn’t respectful enough to not make advances on her and respect her decision to NOT hook up with him, then a friendship in this situation wouldn’t last long either.

A male friend has to be mature enough to respect your decision not to be with him. If he can’t, then it’ll be a matter of time before the woman stops calling him to hang out.

Keep Your Hands To Yourself!?

It’s never fun being around a man that can’t keep his hands and lips to himself, especially when you just want to be friends with him!

However, there is a chance that a woman could reciprocate and help plant the seed to sprouting a friends with benefits situation, but that’s another topic altogether!

But, what’s your opinion? Do you think men and women can maintain platonic friendships? If so, under what circumstances? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments below!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,




8 thoughts on “Men can’t just be friends with women!

  1. Absolutely men and women can be friends. I have a very close, straight male friend, nothing has ever happened between us neither of us ever want it too. You might be missing out on a wonderful friendship if you tell yourself it can’t happen.


  2. The main point of my post was that men and women can be friends if the woman is not romantically interested in the man and the man is mature enough to respect that the friendship will remain platonic.

    Seeing as though you and your male friend have a great friendship and have never wanted each other, you’ve helped to further my point on how friendships between a man and a woman can work. I appreciate you opening up about your own friendship with a man! Thanks for taking the time to comment on my post!


    • It’s more complex than whether us men can and do respect it. I have female friends that I am not attracted to and some that I “wouldn’t mind” something happening with. But even those I am not attracted to do not physically repulse me and if the chance ever came up for a FWB situation and that it was mutually understood that that was all it was, then I would. That’s not to say that I am or would actively seek to get them into bed though – it’s about potential for opportunity and being open to being more than friends.


      • Thanks for elaborating on this, I always love getting input directly from the male perspective. I completely agree that it can be more complex than just respect and the situation you described is exactly why I say the woman can’t be interested in her male friend or else it could lead to that FWB relationship.

        I really appreciate you taking the time to read my post and I look forward to hearing more from you!


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