Top 5 Issues That Keep Women Single (Part 1 & 2)

If you’re single and wanting a great relationship, but are struggling to get it, you might just be keeping yourself single and not even know it!

I had the honor of returning to The Right to R.E.A.L. Love Radio Show with host Jay Mayo to discuss the top 5 issues that keep women single.

If you’re a woman, you’ve dealt with one or more of these issues at some point in your life! So turn off the TV, put down the phone, and listen in:

The Top 5 Issues That Keep Women Single (Part 1)

The Top 5 Issues That Keep Women Single (Part 2)

If you recognize that you’ve been affected by one or more of these issues and want to break free of them, let me help you through it– grab my book, Picking up the Pieces, or schedule a coaching session today!

Stay tuned for parts 3, 4, and 5!

Till Next Time,

 

 

Your Confidence Is Dependent On Men And You Don’t Even Know It!

We’ve all been there. We’ve been stood up, taken for granted, compared to other women, cheated on, broken up with, and the list goes on… 

What happens afterwards, though, that is the most important part.

You see, we all tend to internalize negative feelings about ourselves because our dating life or relationships are going the way we want them to. And so we bash and blame ourselves for someone else’s actions, thinking things like–

  • What’s wrong with me?
  • Why aren’t I enough for him?
  • Why can’t I be like ____ (fill in the blank)?
  • Why doesn’t he appreciate all the things that I do for him?
  • I hate the way I look!
  • My body is disgusting!
  • I am so fat!
  • Why can’t I be super skinny? 
  • If I was prettier this wouldn’t have happened!
  • I must be bad in bed!
  • I’m not fun to be around!

Of course, there’s an endless list of nasty and negative things that we beat ourselves up with.

And why? Why do we do this on a regular basis??

We do it because, for some strange reason, it’s easier than loving ourselves and pushing away men who aren’t good for us.

Dependent Confidence

Most of us have been trapped in that cycle of living for other people’s acknowledgment, love, and approval. If we do start to like ourselves a little bit in some area, it’s usually only a matter of time before we qualify our confidence and reduce it accordingly.

Our self-image and confidence is often based on what society and the media tells us we are supposed to be. But when we let the outside world decide how we need to look, what will “complete” us, and what we need in order to be happy, we’re actually deciding to live unfulfilled, unhappy, loveless lives.

Remember, when you don’t love yourself, you can’t truly let a healthy love come into your life.

Artificial Confidence

Translated to the dating world, many of us have allowed our confidence to be entirely based on how men treat us or view us, how often men are calling us, or how often they tell us we’re “beautiful,” “gorgeous,” or “sexy.”

You should never need to hear a man say, “you’re beautiful,” to truly believe it deep down inside. 

Think about it this way, if you’re dating a man who constantly tells you that you’re beautiful and you start believing it and feeling really good about yourself, what is going to happen if you break up with this man?

Your confidence is going to drop quicker than it rose and that’s because it was never true internal confidence. In these situations, you’re building up an artificial confidence that feels real at the time, but isn’t. It’ll only last as long as you’re in that particular relationship and the man hasn’t messed up.

Get Control Over Your Confidence

Unless you do the internal work to regain control of your self-image and, therefore, your self-esteem and self-confidence, you feeling good will always be dependent on men, society, and the media.

The process begins with self-awareness and ends with a discovery and love of all the greatness within you.

Start by asking yourself these questions: 

  • Why do you feel the way you do about yourself?
  • Do you question your beauty or worth when things go wrong?
  • Are you comparing yourself with other people?
  • Are you internalizing other people’s beliefs about what is beautiful?
  • Are waiting for someone to make you happy or complete you?
  • Are you in control of your own emotions?
  • Are you in control of your thoughts and beliefs?
  • Who and what is influencing your feelings about yourself? 

Cultivate Your Own Joy

I frequently hear women say they’ll be happy when they find a husband and have kids, but the truth is, there are no external things that can make you happy.

If you can’t be happy right here and now, exactly where you are, a marriage and kids won’t change that. A marriage won’t fix any of your problems, in fact, it might make them worse.

So make a decision to take control of your self-image, self-esteem, and overall confidence today! The first greatest love of your life is going to be with yourself!

If you need help getting there, don’t stress! Schedule a dating coaching session today and grab my new book Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You DeserveAmazon | Barnes & Noble

Till Next Time, 

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Why I Inspire Women To Love Themselves

This week, I had the honor of being featured in a DatingAdvice.com article. The article really captured what I’m about and how I’m working to improve the dating world for women.

“According to Dee’s dating philosophy, when a woman knows her worth, she causes men to treat her better, and that can change the dating ecosystem one relationship at a time…”

Read the full DatingAdvice.com article here: “Dating Coach & Blogger Dee Simone Inspires Single Women to Love Themselves & Know Their Worth

Stay tuned because I’m bringing you more great dating advice next Saturday at 8pm EST!

Till Next Time,

Dee

P.S. Don’t forget to grab your copy of my new book– Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

What You Need To Know About Parenting And Dating

Are you a single mom who is ready to start dating again? Are you already dating and want to make sure your children aren’t negatively impacted by it? Or do you just want to know how to ensure that your children have healthy relationships when they grow up?

You’re definitely going to want to join me on Source Radio’s Family Mix Mondays where I’ll be discussing what exactly you need to know as a single parent who is dating!

Hosted by Licensed Professional Counselor Jaketra Bryant, you don’t want to miss this show!

Call 619-924-0933 on Monday, December 18th at 6:15pm EST, to listen to the show live. You can also listen to the show on YouTube

**Get the book that’s going to transform your dating life– Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Photo Credit: Photo by London Scout on Unsplash

Did You Breakup With Your Boyfriend Because A “Spark” Was Missing?

Our past relationships have a big impact on who we choose to date in the future. Whether it leads us to dating better men or the same types of men we previously dated really just depends on whether we properly processed (mentally) our past relationships, learned the necessary lessons, and implement positive changes.

Unfortunately, most women don’t do this.

And while this perpetuates many different dating and relationship problems, today I want to focus on a more subtle problem that kills great relationships– thinking a “spark” is missing.

What Is The “Spark?”

The Merriam-Webster dictionary has several definitions for the word “spark.” However, the one that best fits relationships is this: “something that sets off a sudden force.” And still, this definition is pretty vague. 

In the end though, it doesn’t really matter how any dictionary or person defines a spark because the spark is really what we individually believe it to be. One woman might believe that the spark is having butterflies in her stomach while another woman might feel that the spark is wanting to continue talking to someone for hours on end.

Ultimately, the spark is a highly subjective concept. 

Every woman is looking for that spark when she’s dating a man. But how do you actually define a spark and is your definition of a spark hurting your relationships or leading you to dating terrible guys?

Are You Used To The Emotional Roller Coaster?

When women date men who treat them poorly and put them through a lot of ups and downs, which I call the emotional roller coaster, they consequently develop unhealthy attachments to these men and often confuse those feelings of extreme anxiety then satisfaction, during the ups and downs, as a strong spark and growing feelings of love.

They think those anxious feelings they have while waiting for Mr. Wrong to do right are really butterflies. But they’re not…

Then, when they meet a good man who is honest, genuine, and grounded, they think a spark is missing and, therefore, must be dating the wrong man. 

Are You Really Missing A “Spark?”

But before you cut things off with your next boyfriend because you think there’s no spark in the relationship, ask yourself this–are we lacking a connection or is there just a lack of drama in the relationship?

It’s extremely important that you evaluate what you believe the spark is because some women easily confuse stability as a lack of a spark when they’ve wrongfully internalized drama as the norm.

So, the next time you find yourself wondering if you’re dating the right man because you feel that something is missing, think: am I missing a spark or am I missing the drama?

Be honest with yourself so you can openly embrace a great, stable relationship with a great man!

Till Next Time,

Dee

Want more great dating advice? Buy my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve! Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Photo Credit: Photo by Allan Filipe Santos Dias on Unsplash

This Holiday, Don’t Focus On What You’re Lacking!

During this holiday season, don’t focus on the fact that you don’t have a boyfriend or you aren’t married, or that you don’t have a plus one for your holiday parties and events.

During the holiday season, it’s so easy to focus on what you don’t have– I don’t have a man, I don’t have a great job, I don’t have a good living situation, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t. But, focusing on what you lack only takes away your happiness and enables feelings of sadness, depression, and feeling “less than.”

Being Single During The Holidays

When you have to get together with family and friends over the holidays, it can be nerve-wrecking if you’re worried about conversations that will lead to what you don’t have right now or what’s wrong in your life.

But, instead of taking away your joy and happiness by focusing on what you don’t have, try something new this holiday–focus on what you do have and be grateful for it!

Acknowledging and expressing gratefulness for the things you do have will allow you to productively take stock of all the great things in your life. As time goes on, we have a habit of focusing on all the little things that we feel are going wrong and we forget about all the great things we have accomplished, earned, or brought into our lives.

Increase Your Happiness & Joy This Holiday

By focusing on being grateful, you’ll ultimately increase your happiness because you’ll be fully aware of the wonderful things you have going on in your life.

The next time you start feeling sad or down about your situation, think about a time that you were really happy. Think about a time you accomplished something you were really proud of. By doing this, you will bring out those joyous feelings you had at that time. And, you need to embrace these positive emotions and let them wash over you and bring you back to that happy place you once were.

Do this anytime you start feeling bad due to your flawed belief that you’re lacking something.

Remember, you are enough and you’re not lacking anything! You don’t need a man to complete you because you were already created as a complete human being. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

P.S. Need some straight forward dating advice, no sugar? Buy my book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve! Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Photo Credit: Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

Flawed Belief Systems That Keep Women Single

I had the privilege of going on Renaissance Relationship Therapy with Life Purpose Coach and Matchmaker Tem’Ti to discuss flawed belief systems that keep women single. 

Find out what beliefs you’re holding on to that are preventing you from getting that amazing love and relationship you truly want. Listen to the show below! 

Want more great dating advice? Buy my new book, Picking up The Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve!