Although everyone struggles with confidence in different areas of life, there’s one specific type of confidence problem I see with many women. I call it qualified confidence.
What is Qualified Confidence?
Qualified confidence is when a person reduces their confidence, or qualifies it, in regards to a specific quality or area of their life because someone else exhibits the quality in a better way.
For example, Rebecca thought she was beautiful, but when she went to college she met women she thought were much prettier than her and truly beautiful.
So, she started feeling that she was only “okay” since there were other women who were much prettier than she was. Believing that she wasn’t really pretty anymore, she reduced her confidence, she qualified her confidence based on her perception of other women’s beauty.
Does It Only Apply To Looks?
This doesn’t just apply to looks and physical features, women tend to qualify their confidence in other areas of their life too. A woman may think she is not as good an athlete because she knows that there are better athletes out there.
Or, a woman thinks she isn’t very good in her professional or entrepreneurial life because she knows of another woman who is doing much better than she is.
This is qualified confidence and it’s extremely detrimental to our emotional well-being and our ability to be truly happy with ourselves.
Why You Shouldn’t Qualify Your Confidence
We are all unique human beings and are great in our own way and just because someone may be better at something than you does not mean that you aren’t one of the best too!
Take Usain Bolt, for example, he crushed his opponents and even had time to smile for the cameras while beating them.
Should the people who came in second, third, or fourth place feel like they are lesser athletes because they lost to Usain Bolt? Of course not! They are still the best runners in their country so it would be ridiculous for them to qualify, or reduce, their confidence because someone else is faster than them.
The same applies to you, ladies! Don’t ever reduce your confidence because you think someone is prettier, smarter, more athletic, or more anything than you. Recognize your strengths, love yourself, and know that you are great just the way you were made!
Yours Truly,
Dee Simone
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