Survey: Are You Open To Open Relationships?

 

Open relationships have become much more prevalent. While they used to be an underground kind of thing, more and more people are being open about the fact that they’re in an open relationship.

With open relationships on the climb, I wonder how many people are really open to the open relationship. Be sure to answer the survey above and we’ll discuss the results next week!

Till Next Time,

Dee

P.S. Looking for honest dating advice without the sugar-coating? Check out my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve — Amazon | Barnes & Noble

YES! Women on the Rise


I’m so honored to be recognized by YES! Women on the Rise in the their Friday Feature! The purpose of YES (Young, Educated, and Successful) is to encourage and accelerate the development of young women on the rise.

This year, YES! is hosting an exclusive and intimate brunch with top influential women in business, health, and entertainment. You’ll be able to hear from industry leaders on the essentials of becoming not only a Boss, but a Leader!

If you’re in the Atlanta, GA area on Saturday, September 24, 2017, come out for this inspiring and empowering event! Reserve Your Spot

Atlanta Book Signing At The 2017 AKISAN National Convention

Do you live in or near Atlanta, Georgia? Join me on Saturday, August 19, at the 2017 AKISAN National Convention for a book signing from 3pm-5pm. This year’s convention is being held at the Atlanta Marriott Marquis located at 265 Peachtree Center Ave NE, Atlanta, GA 30303. 

About AKISAN

The Akwa Ibom State Association of Nigeria (AKISAN) is a non-profit organization that is devoted to improving the Akwa Ibom community both at home and abroad. Founded in 1968, AKISAN has intervened in areas such as education, health, water supply, sanitation, and so much more.

 
They not only identify problems affecting the community, but they also roll up their sleeves and tackle these problems through awareness, sensitization, and the provision of basic amenities to communities that so desperately need them. 

Here, in the United States, AKISAN has been involved in volunteer services in various cities. Members  have donated time and resources in soup kitchens in Washington DC, Houston, Phoenix, Chicago, and more. In 2016, AKISAN donated batches of water to residents of Flint, Michigan during the city-wide pollution crisis.

Education

AKISAN’s educational initiatives have included the granting of scholarships to needy students, refurbishing schools, providing mentorship to children in need of role models, and donating computers, books, and other educational materials.

Water

AKISAN has built and commissioned several rural water projects to provide clean drinking water for communities in Akwa Ibom State Nigeria. These initiatives ease the stress of rural dwellers who still have to fetch water from streams, ponds, and other sources of water that aren’t healthy for them.

Health

AKISAN members have conducted medical missions in rural communities in Akwa Ibom State as well as South America. They also delivered medications, equipment, and supplies to hospitals and health centers and have organized educational campaigns on the need for childhood immunizations and safe-sex to prevent transmission of HIV/AIDS.

About The Convention

AKISAN’s annual national convention consists of cultural displays, musical performances, brainstorming sessions, beauty pageants, fundraising, and much more.

Come out to support an organization that is truly making a difference and get a signed copy of my new book Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love And Relationship You Deserve —  Amazon | Barnes & Nobles 
Photo Credit: Akisan.org

Don’t Miss Comedians Mzzz Kecia & Hunter Sandlin At Wine, Dine, & Book Sign – A Single’s Event


It’s happening right now– Wine, Dine, & Book Sign – A Single’s Event

Memphis comedians Mzzz Kecia and Hunter Sandlin will be stopping by at 8:30 to make you laugh until your stomach hurts.

Come enjoy the comedy show, music, and complimentary wine and food. There will also be a great prize for whoever is able to win our icebreaker game of the night.

Hope to see you soon!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone 

Help! How Do I Turn Down A Second Date Without Getting Insulted?

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

I went on one date with a guy I met online, but I just wasn’t feeling him. He not only looked older than he said he was in his online profile, but he also talked about himself for the ENTIRE date. It really bothered me that he wasn’t asking me questions about myself or trying to get to know me at all.

A couple of days after our first date he texted me asking to go out again. This was our conversation:

Him: Hey! Are you busy on Saturday? Let’s go out!

Me: I have to be honest I didn’t feel a connection on the date but maybe we can be friends?

Him: I’ve been dating four beautiful women from the dating site, but you seemed to be the most intelligent so I wanted to give it a try, but friends is perfect.

Him: I doubt you make connections with any men.

Me: lol ok. I know I’m beautiful too but thanks for the intelligence compliment. Why would you say I don’t make connections with any men?

Him: Because you’re dry and seem like a lesbian.

Me: No response.

(5 minutes later)

Him: You’re also not feminine enough for men to be attracted to you.

Me: No response.

(30 minutes later)

Him: And I didn’t say you weren’t beautiful. You said that so that’s your thoughts about yourself.

Me: No response.

(10 min later)

Him: I’m cool with being friends though.

Me: No response.

(Next Day)

Him: When do you want to get together again friend?

Me: No response.

I’m actually very feminine and I’ve never had a problem with men not being attracted to me. I get hit on by men all the time, the problem is the types of men that I meet. I know this guy was lashing out at me because he was angry that I didn’t want to see him again so how can I let guys down without getting bashed afterwards?

Dear Dater,

I want to start off by saying this guy is a huge jerk! You did nothing wrong in the way that you let this guy down and it’s a good thing that you stopped responding to his texts instead of letting the situation blow up into something bigger.

Ultimately, you were honest and he tried to make you feel bad about yourself and your ability to attract men simply because you didn’t want to continue dating him. How ridiculous!

In my opinion, you’re actually very lucky because you dodged a huge bullet here! This man sounds like he has a lot of emotional issues he needs to work out. When a person’s first instinct is to hurt you in a situation like this, it’s a red flag.

How To Stop The Bashing

Sadly, you’re not alone in this. There are many women who have had similar experiences where they let a guy know they aren’t interested in him and the guy hurls insults in return.

But to answer your question, in general, there’s nothing you can do to stop a man from bashing you after you end things. You really can’t control how a man will react or respond to you not wanting to go on another date.

What you can control, however, is how you feel. If you let these kind of men make you feel bad about yourself, they win. You need to let their words roll off of you because, at the end of the day, they really don’t know you anyway.

How To Break Up

When you no longer want to continue dating a person, the best thing to do is just be honest. If you weren’t feeling a connection or chemistry, it’s okay to say that. It’s also okay to say that you don’t think you are compatible.

When you break up with someone you’ve only been on a few dates with, it’s always best to keep it short and simple. Of course, the longer you date someone or once you’ve entered an exclusive relationship, the bigger your obligation is to give your boyfriend or girlfriend a full and complete explanation of why you want to break up.

But after just one or two dates, all you can really say is, “I’m sorry, you seem like a nice person, but I just don’t feel a connection.”

How Not To Break Up

What you don’t want to do when you break up with someone is be hurtful, spiteful, rude, antagonistic, have attitude, or unnecessarily point fingers. And it doesn’t look like you did any of this here.

Overall, I think you handled this situation well and your explanation for not wanting to go out on another date was short, appropriate, and to the point. 

The real problem here is that some men can’t handle rejection well. Unfortunately, you could have the best break up line, but for some of the men you date it won’t matter at all. Some men will try to hurt your feelings because they feel hurt by the fact that you’re not interested in them.

Insults or Constructive Feedback?

It’s also important for you to be able to distinguish between hurtful, venom-filled insults and constructive criticism or feedback. Constructive feedback is always good, but that is not what you got from this guy. He couldn’t take your rejection so he insulted you. Don’t let yourself feel bad for that. 

You should definitely continue being honest about why you don’t want to keep dating a man and if a man reacts by insulting you or trying to hurt your feelings, just take it as a reassuring sign that this was not the right man for you!

For more great dating advice, check out my new book — Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. Available on: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Help! He Got My Number Then Asked If I Could Have Kids!

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

After a few messages on an online dating website, I gave my number to this really good-looking man. He called me almost immediately and the conversation started off normal enough. However, barely ten minutes into our conversation he asks me, “can you have kids?”

I was so shocked I couldn’t even speak for a moment. After a few seconds I said, “Why would you ask me that??” He said that because he wants to have children he needs to make sure that the woman he dates can have kids.

I told him that it’s obvious from my young age that I can have kids, but that I felt very uncomfortable and uneasy from the question and would feel bad for the woman who has to answer “yes” and explain something very sensitive and personal to a perfect stranger. I said the question was inappropriate and something he shouldn’t ask a woman until he gets to know her well.

At this point, he got defensive and said I should only be offended if I couldn’t actually have kids, but since I can it shouldn’t be a big deal. He had completely turned me off and I was repulsed by him altogether. I eventually ended the conversation and I don’t plan on talking to him ever again. Am I wrong for writing him off?

Dear Dater,

Wow! What a horrible question to ask a woman during the first phone call. You shouldn’t have been subjected to this question so early on and this guy clearly lacks manners and common sense. Whether or not a woman can have kids is a very touchy subject and no woman should have to explain to a man she doesn’t know why she can’t have children.

Although this man says he wants kids and, therefore, needs to ensure he dates a woman who can have kids, this was the wrong way to go about it and he lost a good prospect because of his inappropriateness and lack of consideration of your feelings.

At the end of the day, you shouldn’t feel bad about not talking to this man ever again. Don’t worry I’ll explain why.

Do You Want A Man Who Listens To Your Concerns?

You see, you actually voiced your feelings and let this man know that you felt uncomfortable and offended by his question and instead of hearing you out to understand where you are coming from and apologize for his insensitive question, he tried to convince you that you shouldn’t be offended at all because you can have kids.

Here’s where this man’s thinking is flawed: A question isn’t offensive based on the response a person may give. Certain questions are just offensive on their own no matter what someone’s response may be. 

Since this guy wouldn’t hear you out or try to understand your perspective and instead wrote your feelings off, he’s not the man for you!

Every woman needs a companion who will not only hear her feelings and concerns, but who will also not try to convince her that she is wrong for feeling offended. You want to date a man who can recognize and acknowledge that he has done or said something inappropriate after you explain why something is wrong.

The man who thinks he can do or say no wrong is a dangerous man to date!

For more great dating advice and tips for being safe while dating, check out my new book Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve Amazon | Barnes & Noble.

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Help! Do I Need To Ask All My Dates If They’re Single?

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

I met this great man and we immediately hit it off. We talked for almost an hour before exchanging numbers. During that conversation he mentioned that he had been divorced for years and didn’t want to get married again, but I was okay with that because I’m not sure that I really want to get married either. I just know I want a great life companion.

Cut to 2 days later. He calls me and we talk for a couple of minutes before he says, “Well, I just wanted to say hello and see how you were doing while I was driving home from work… You know, since I can’t text and drive.”

This gave me a funny feeling because it felt like he was implying that he couldn’t talk once he got home, which then made me think that he had a girlfriend at home. So, I mustered up the courage and asked, “are you single??” My heart sank when he said, “No, but I’m not married so technically I am single.”

Then he said, “I wanted to be upfront and honest with you about that because you seem like a good person.” Disgusted, I ended the conversation saying thanks for being honest, but I have to go. Just when I think I’ve met a great man, he turns out to have a girlfriend! It’s very frustrating! So, my question to you Dee is:

Do I really have to ask every man I go out with whether he is single or not? I feel like this guy would have dated me until he got caught if I never asked…

Dear Dater,

I just want to start by saying I’m sorry that you felt you had a great connection with a man who turned out to be in a relationship. You definitely shouldn’t beat yourself up over this.

While he should have been honest about the fact that he had a girlfriend, as a single woman it’s not a bad idea to ask the men you go out with if they’re single or not. Although some men will still lie in order to cheat on their girlfriends, not asking may produce more situations like these.

Trust Your Gut Instincts

Now, if you’re a great judge of character and can easily spot inconsistencies that quickly let you know a man is dating another woman, you may not need to ask this question (and that does seem to be the case with you since you sniffed this guy out pretty quickly).

I think the most important thing to take away from this situation is that you should always trust your gut instincts. Here, your gut said something wasn’t right because a man should want to talk to you in his home, not rush you off the phone before he gets there.

This feeling of something being off is what you always want to pay attention to because ignoring it can easily lead to you getting your heart broken. So, while you may encounter some dishonesty on your quest to finding real love, don’t make it any easier for men to deceive you by avoiding questions you feel inclined to ask.

Was He REALLY A Great Man?

Also, you call this guy a “great man,” but how is he great? Just because you felt like you “clicked” with him doesn’t negate the fact that this is a deceptive person. For all you know, he was putting on an act from the moment you met him in order to win you over and cheat on his girlfriend.

Don’t make yourself feel worse about this situation by wrongly classifying this man as a great person you connected with.

All in all, you did the right thing. By paying attention to your gut, identifying a serious red flag, and addressing it immediately, you ultimately prevented yourself from falling head over heels for a cheating philanderer.

Always trust your gut instincts because they’ll never lead you in the wrong direction!

For more great dating advice, check out my new book Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve Amazon | Barnes & Noble.

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone