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Yours Truly,
Category Archives: First Dates
How To Tell If It’s A Date Or A Hang Out
Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,
How would you know if it’s a date or just a hang out?
Dear Dater,
Usually, you should be able to tell by the way he asked you.
Did he ask if you want to go out or did he ask if you want to hang out or get together? If he didn’t specifically ask to “take you out,” “go out,” “do something,” or anything else along those lines, then you’re probably not being asked out on a date.
Generally speaking, if you’re being asked to “hang out,” it’s just that, a hang out. But, if the plan is to hang out at a place other than your homes, like a park or any other public place, then it probably is a date.
If you can’t tell from how he asked, you should know what the rendezvous is about when it’s closer to the time of your planned meeting. Closer to that time, your date should be telling you what the plan is. But…
You can also subtly sneak this into conversation by saying something like, “I’m looking forward to getting together on Saturday, did you have anything in mind you wanted to do?” This way, you can gauge what his intentions are as far as it being a date or a hang out/Netflix and chill.
If he responds to this with, “Nope” or “I thought we could just chill and watch a movie,” then you know what it is.
However, if he says something like, “I’m not sure, what would you like to do?” Then I would take it as a date!
I hope this helps and thanks for reaching out to me with your dating question!
Yours Truly,
Start attracting the men and relationships you really want! Get my book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve!
Help! How Do I Turn Down A Second Date Without Getting Insulted?
Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,
I went on one date with a guy I met online, but I just wasn’t feeling him. He not only looked older than he said he was in his online profile, but he also talked about himself for the ENTIRE date. It really bothered me that he wasn’t asking me questions about myself or trying to get to know me at all.
A couple of days after our first date he texted me asking to go out again. This was our conversation:
Him: Hey! Are you busy on Saturday? Let’s go out!
Me: I have to be honest I didn’t feel a connection on the date but maybe we can be friends?
Him: I’ve been dating four beautiful women from the dating site, but you seemed to be the most intelligent so I wanted to give it a try, but friends is perfect.
Him: I doubt you make connections with any men.
Me: lol ok. I know I’m beautiful too but thanks for the intelligence compliment. Why would you say I don’t make connections with any men?
Him: Because you’re dry and seem like a lesbian.
Me: No response.
(5 minutes later)
Him: You’re also not feminine enough for men to be attracted to you.
Me: No response.
(30 minutes later)
Him: And I didn’t say you weren’t beautiful. You said that so that’s your thoughts about yourself.
Me: No response.
(10 min later)
Him: I’m cool with being friends though.
Me: No response.
(Next Day)
Him: When do you want to get together again friend?
Me: No response.
I’m actually very feminine and I’ve never had a problem with men not being attracted to me. I get hit on by men all the time, the problem is the types of men that I meet. I know this guy was lashing out at me because he was angry that I didn’t want to see him again so how can I let guys down without getting bashed afterwards?
Dear Dater,
I want to start off by saying this guy is a huge jerk! You did nothing wrong in the way that you let this guy down and it’s a good thing that you stopped responding to his texts instead of letting the situation blow up into something bigger.
Ultimately, you were honest and he tried to make you feel bad about yourself and your ability to attract men simply because you didn’t want to continue dating him. How ridiculous!
In my opinion, you’re actually very lucky because you dodged a huge bullet here! This man sounds like he has a lot of emotional issues he needs to work out. When a person’s first instinct is to hurt you in a situation like this, it’s a red flag.
How To Stop The Bashing
Sadly, you’re not alone in this. There are many women who have had similar experiences where they let a guy know they aren’t interested in him and the guy hurls insults in return.
But to answer your question, in general, there’s nothing you can do to stop a man from bashing you after you end things. You really can’t control how a man will react or respond to you not wanting to go on another date.
What you can control, however, is how you feel. If you let these kind of men make you feel bad about yourself, they win. You need to let their words roll off of you because, at the end of the day, they really don’t know you anyway.
How To Break Up
When you no longer want to continue dating a person, the best thing to do is just be honest. If you weren’t feeling a connection or chemistry, it’s okay to say that. It’s also okay to say that you don’t think you are compatible.
When you break up with someone you’ve only been on a few dates with, it’s always best to keep it short and simple. Of course, the longer you date someone or once you’ve entered an exclusive relationship, the bigger your obligation is to give your boyfriend or girlfriend a full and complete explanation of why you want to break up.
But after just one or two dates, all you can really say is, “I’m sorry, you seem like a nice person, but I just don’t feel a connection.”
How Not To Break Up
What you don’t want to do when you break up with someone is be hurtful, spiteful, rude, antagonistic, have attitude, or unnecessarily point fingers. And it doesn’t look like you did any of this here.
Overall, I think you handled this situation well and your explanation for not wanting to go out on another date was short, appropriate, and to the point.
The real problem here is that some men can’t handle rejection well. Unfortunately, you could have the best break up line, but for some of the men you date it won’t matter at all. Some men will try to hurt your feelings because they feel hurt by the fact that you’re not interested in them.
Insults or Constructive Feedback?
It’s also important for you to be able to distinguish between hurtful, venom-filled insults and constructive criticism or feedback. Constructive feedback is always good, but that is not what you got from this guy. He couldn’t take your rejection so he insulted you. Don’t let yourself feel bad for that.
You should definitely continue being honest about why you don’t want to keep dating a man and if a man reacts by insulting you or trying to hurt your feelings, just take it as a reassuring sign that this was not the right man for you!
For more great dating advice, check out my new book — Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. Available on: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
Yours Truly,
Dee Simone
20 Questions You Should Never Ask A Woman On A First Date
When you meet someone you’re attracted to, there’s usually a natural desire to know more about that person. The problem is, some people have a difficult time understanding the difference between appropriate and inappropriate first date questions.
On the other hand, we can’t ignore the fact that some people knowingly ask offensive questions and just don’t care about whether their date feels comfortable or not.
Make Your Date Feel Comfortable
In order to improve our dating experiences, we need to make sure that we aren’t unnecessarily offending the person we are attracted to. Our dates should feel comfortable and at ease, not on guard waiting for the next insulting question.
You actually decrease your chance of making a great connection with a date when you ask them judgmental questions or questions that force your date to talk about something they aren’t ready to discuss with you.
So, to help your initial encounters with women, I want to share some questions that you should never let leave your lips. The following are 20 real life questions that men have asked women on or before a first date:
1. Why are you single?
2. Are you paying for the date?
3. How old are you?
4. Can I come back to your place or do you want to come back to mine?
5. Is that your real hair?
6. You’re not one of those crazy girls are you?
7. How much do you weigh?
8. Do you have daddy issues?
9. How much do you cost?
10. Do you want to go a to fancy restaurant? (Then takes you to Wendy’s)
11. Can you do a split?
12. What are you mixed with?
13. Can I borrow $1,000? (Or any amount of money)
14. Do you like your feet licked?
15. Are your breasts real?
16. What’s your bra size?
17. What are you cooking me for dinner?
18. How much do you make?
19. Have you cheated on your past boyfriends?
20. Do you know how to use those lips?
Some of these questions clearly indicate that you’re only interested in a casual encounter, i.e. sex. But if you’re genuinely interested in a woman and want to get to know her better these are not the kinds of questions you should ask early on.
Offending a woman on a first date is a sure-fire way to never get a second one so think wisely before asking very personal questions that may make a woman feel uncomfortable around you.
Want additional insight into women’s minds? Check out my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve — Barnes & Noble | Amazon
Till Next Time,
Dee
Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Help! We Had A Great First Date, But He Hasn’t Called Since
Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,
I had a great first date with this guy, but almost a week has gone by and he hasn’t called or texted me. I thought we made a good connection and were into each other, but now I’m starting to feel like I was wrong.
What does it mean if he hasn’t contacted me in days? Does he not want to see me again? Did I do something wrong? I will admit our date was a Netflix and chill night and he tried to make a few moves on me, but I didn’t sleep with him and only kissed him at the end of the night. Should I reach out to him? Is he waiting to see if I want to continue talking?
Dear Dater,
If you had a date with a man and he hasn’t called or texted you for more than 3 days after your date, he’s just not that interested in you. However, because this guy wanted to “Netflix and chill” and did make some passes at you, he may not have been looking for a potential relationship and was only interested in getting in your pants.
Since you rejected his advances and only kissed him at the end of the night, he may have decided to move on to an easier target.
Don’t feel bad about this. It’s really a great thing because now this guy won’t be in the way of the right man coming into your life. You don’t want to waste time dating the wrong men so don’t dwell on this situation or reach out to him to force a conversation that isn’t meant to take place.
Also you should avoid having a Netflix and chill date for at least the first 5-6 dates. You don’t want to subject yourself to men making aggressive passes at you or even worse, forcing themselves on you. It’s better to be safe and wait until you get to know a man better before you invite him into your home or go to his.
Furthermore, you’re more likely to move faster with a man when you’re in the comfort of a home as opposed to somewhere like a restaurant. So, hold off on the Netflix and chill and stick to public dates until you’ve gotten to know each other much better.
For more great dating advice and tips for being safe while dating, check out my new book Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve Amazon | Barnes & Noble.
Yours Truly,
Dee Simone
Is Your Beauty Routine Putting Your Health At Risk?
Before you go on dates, it’s very important that you put time into making yourself look polished and beautiful. And for many women, this also means getting their eyebrows, upper lip, legs, or bikini area waxed. What’s scary is that, after talking to many women who get waxed, few are aware of a potential health risk they are facing.
Yes, you want to look perfect for your date, but you have to be careful about where you get waxed. If you routinely wax your eyebrows or other areas of your body, you know that your wax technician has to get more wax from the heated container a few times in order to remove all the hair from the area you’re waxing. Here’s the problem, many places that offer waxing services aren’t doing this in a hygienic manner.
What’s The Problem?
You will find that many wax technicians use one wooden stick per customer and will re-dip that same stick in the vat of wax several times, placing any germs that are on your body right into that container of wax. The issue with this is that most places don’t change the wax after each customer. This means that every time your wax technician re-dips the same wooden stick in the wax, they’re putting your bodily germs into all the wax that will be used throughout the day on different people (men and women).
If the place where you get waxed does this with you, they’re doing it with everyone else too, which means you are being exposed to other people’s bodily germs as well. You may have only gone to get your eyebrows or upper lip waxed, but perhaps the person before you got a Brazilian wax with the buttocks strip as well. If your technicians don’t use a new wooden stick every time they get more wax to apply on you, your technician is spreading other people’s germs right onto your eyebrows, upper lip, bikini, or any other area you’re waxing. This is NOT okay.
Where Should You Go?
A good place that offers waxing services will use a new wooden stick every time they get more wax from the heated container so it never gets contaminated and the waxing process remains hygienic. If you get waxed at a place that doesn’t use a new wooden stick each time they dig for more wax, you need to stop going there immediately!!
Call around and find a waxing place that doesn’t double dip their wooden sticks so you don’t expose yourself to unnecessary health risks during the waxing process.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
10 Important First Date Tips
First dates are crucial and if they don’t go well you’re pretty much guaranteed to never see your date again. So, here are 10 important first date tips that will increase your chances of landing a second date:
1. Put Effort Into Your Appearance
You should always put effort into how you look for your dates. Don’t show up like you just rolled out of bed and couldn’t even brush your hair. Look like someone you would want to date. Remember, you’re supposed to be putting your best foot forward on your first dates and you’re not doing that if you look like something the cat dragged in.
Check out my article 6 Must Dos Before A Date for more tips on getting yourself together before a date. If you have trouble finding the right first date outfit, check out my article Are You Picking The Wrong First Date Outfits?
2. Get To Know Your Date The Right Way
Never treat your dates like interviews. You should be getting to know your date through engaging, mutual conversation and not a drawn out Q and A session. You want your date to feel comfortable, not scrutinized and judged so you have to fight the urge to interview your date.
3. Never Talk About Exes
Talking about an ex or exes on first dates is a huge mood killer and it reduces your ability to make a great connection with the person you’re with. You also don’t want your date to get the impression that you aren’t over your ex. You should be focused on enjoying the company of your date, not sharing your love war stories or the trials and tribulations of dating.
4. Avoid Sensitive Subjects
In order to increase your chances of making a great connection on a date, you have to avoid sensitive topics like religion and politics. The time will come to have these conversations, but your first few dates with a man is not it.
5. Don’t Talk About Your Problems
Talking about your problems or flaws on a first date is a huge downer! Not to mention the fact that you will most likely make your date feel uncomfortable. Your dates should be light-hearted and fun, not dark and awkward. Your date is not there to fix your problems, but he can make you feel better without you having to address them if you allow him to show you a good time.
6. Don’t Tell Sad Stories
Dates are supposed to be fun and enjoyable, but just like with talking about your problems, telling sad stories will bring down the mood and make your date feel uncomfortable.
7. Don’t Drink Heavily
You shouldn’t drink heavily on first dates, if at all. Having more than 1-2 drinks on your first date can cause more problems than you realize. My article 4 Problems with Drinking on First Dates explains why.
8. Smile
Many people don’t realize how important it is to smile. Smiles are inviting and they can actually disarm people and get them to open up to you much more. You want your date to let down his guard and feel relaxed with you, smiling will help accomplish this.
9. Mind Your Body language
Body language communicates more than we know. If you have your arms crossed, for example, your date might feel like your closed off and not interested in him. Sitting with your arms crossed puts up a barrier and makes it more difficult to connect with your date and have a good time. In fact, you’re definitely not having a good time if your arms are crossed. So, loosen up, uncross those arms, and really interact with your date.
For more tips on improving your body language on dates, check out my article 5 Tips For Better Dating Body Language.
10. Have Fun!
The most important thing you need to do on your dates is enjoy yourself. If you’re interested in getting married one day, then you want a boyfriend that you can enjoy life with and your first date is your opportunity to see whether this is possible. Forget all your lists, forget what his future goals are, and just see if your date is a man whose company you enjoy.
Check out my article Increase Your Chances of Making a Connection to see how you can improve the connections you make on dates.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Dating Challenge: Don’t Call Him The Day of The Date
You have a date scheduled with a guy this Saturday. When Saturday rolls around, you’re tempted to call or text your date to confirm or make sure he still wants to go out, but you shouldn’t. Instead, wait. Don’t call your date, text, email, Instagram, Snapchat him or anything else.
The reason why you want to do this is so that you can see whether your date would have followed through on his plans with you. Say you don’t contact your date and he doesn’t contact you at all on Saturday, then you know he wasn’t really interested in you to begin with. Some guys will make plans that they don’t necessarily intend to keep. So you don’t want to nudge a guy into a date by reminding him yourself that your supposed to go out.
If a man really wants to see you he isn’t going to forget about the plans you made or flake on them by not contacting you on the day of the date. So I challenge you to not call or text a man first on the day of your date. This way, you won’t ever have to wonder if the date wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t take the time to contact him.
Do yourself a favor and give yourself a chance to see where a man’s head is really at!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Blackzheep at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Would you go Dutch on a First Date?
Different women have different sentiments about going dutch on a first date. While some women don’t believe that they should have to split the bill, others have no problem doing it. So, I thought I’d create a survey to see how many of my readers are willing to go half on a first date. Submit your answer to the survey and you’ll be able to see what percentage of women answered yes or no. Also, feel free to leave a comment below with your thoughts!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Should You Have A First Date On Valentine’s Day?
Valentine’s Day is the most romantic day of the year and while this is great for couples, it’s not so great if you just met your date. If you go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day, you can expect restaurants to have a more intimate feel, you’ll be surrounded by couples showing a lot of affection, and you may be bombarded by people selling flowers, chocolate, and teddy bears.
The romantic pressure that comes with Valentine’s Day and seeing many other couples smooching, exchanging gifts, and holding hands could make the date feel very uncomfortable or awkward. Or, the romantic ambience might even make you want to act more lovey-dovey with your date than you should.
On top of this, your server will most likely assume that you and your date are in a serious relationship and ask you questions or make comments that could make you both feel uncomfortable like, “How long have you been together?” “You guys look like such a happy couple!” “I love how you two are keeping your relationship spicy by celebrating Valentine’s.” “It must have been impossible for you guys to get a sitter tonight.”
When you are on your first few dates, you shouldn’t have to explain to anyone that you are not in a relationship or that you just started dating. But, this is often what happens when you have a date on Valentine’s and it’s the early stage of dating. Even if you have been on a couple of dates, going out on Valentine’s could add a little too much intensity to your budding romance.
First dates can be nerve-wrecking enough without the added pressure of being on Valentine’s Day. They should be fun and easy breezy, not jam-packed with tension from the extreme romance surrounding the date. So, you should definitely avoid having your first few dates on this one day of the year, but if for some reason you really can’t get around scheduling a Valentine’s Day date, try to do a fun activity that won’t incorporate the romance of Valentine’s Day.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Photo Credit: Image courtesy of OZphotography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Ask A Date Questions About His Character
When you first start dating a man, you want to get to know as much about your date as possible. Instead of letting a man show you who he is, you try to get him to tell you. You might ask him questions about his character or how he treated his last girlfriend to get a better idea of what a relationship with him would look like.
But, doing this is actually more problematic than you probably think. So, here are 3 reasons why you shouldn’t ask the men you’re dating questions about their character:
1. Men Can Lie
In a perfect world, all men would tell the truth when they are asked questions about themselves, but we don’t live in a perfect world. So, it’s really important not to focus heavily on questioning your date about his personality, morals, character, and so forth.
When you pay attention to your date’s behavior and keep your eyes open for red flags, these questions will be answered for you. Which brings me to my next point…
2. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
We’ve all heard this saying, it’s nothing new, but actions really do speak louder than words! If you ask your dates about themselves, they could easily just tell you what you want to hear. Don’t get caught up putting a man through investigative questioning because his behavior will tell you everything in the end.
Remember, a man can show you who he is much better than he could ever tell you!
3. You May Blindly Rely On His Answers
When you focus your energy on questioning a man about his character, it’s really easy to have a false sense of confidence in his answers. Naturally, we want to believe what the man we’re dating says. So, instead of paying attention to his actions, we rely on his word and turn a blind eye to all the red flags that show us he’s someone else.
The truth is, when we wrongly rely on what a man tells us about himself, we only hurt ourselves in the long run through our blind trust and belief.
The next time you’re dating a man, let him show you who he is instead of tell you who he is. Start identifying and learning about the different red flags you should be paying attention to. This way, you won’t feel the need to question your dates since you’ll be able to rely on your knowledge and understanding of men’s behavior!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Learn More About Red Flags:
5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For
You shouldn’t have to tell him to call you
Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?
8 Signs You’re Dating A Needy Guy
*Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
5 Tips For Better Dating Body Language
Good body language is crucial in dating! And, you definitely need to know if you’re sending the wrong messages on dates with your body language. I wrote this article for Digital Romance and you can check it out here: 5 Tips For Better Dating Body Language.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
5 Reasons Why You Should Date When You Don’t Want To
Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Dating can come with a lot of ups and downs. On some dates you don’t make a connection and on dates where you thought you made a great connection, nothing materializes from it. Dating is definitely not easy and many times it is a bit of a numbers game.
Unfortunately, you’re not going to start a great relationship from every date you go on, but you can’t get discouraged and give up on dating altogether. You have to keep putting yourself out there and trying even when you don’t want to. Why is that, you ask? Well, here are 5 reasons why you should date even when you don’t want to:
1. You Need To Know What Your Dating Flaws Are
Continuing to date when you don’t want to allows you to see what problems you might have in dating. Maybe you act a bit needy or come on too strong. Maybe you talk about the future too soon or dive into subjects you should avoid on first dates.
You have to continue dating to see what behaviors or things you are doing that are holding you back in your dating life.
2. Practice Makes Perfect
We all have things we need to work on in our dating lives and relationships, but if you don’t date you won’t be able to fix or correct those dating problems.
It takes practicing doing the right things to eliminate those bad behaviors. You can’t think that you’re going to stay out of the dating scene, meet the perfect man, and be able to act the way you should.
We all know that it’s hardest to play it right with a man that we’re really interested in. So, it’s going to take practice to get yourself to stop those bad habits that sabotage your dating life.
3. You Need To Keep Up With Dating Norms
Just like there are social norms that we all live by, there are also dating norms that people follow. What a society’s dating norms are often change and when you avoid dating you keep yourself out of the information loop.
By not dating, you won’t know what dating norms or dating etiquette has changed. For example, today, it’s pretty common for men to send a “good morning” text now. However, some men send these texts to almost every woman in their phone. So, it’s going to take more than a simple good morning text for you to know whether a man is really thinking about you or interested in you.
But, if you never date and then meet a man who starts sending you good morning texts everyday, you may put more emphasis or importance on the fact that he sends you these texts instead of taking those morning texts with a grain of salt.
4. You Don’t Want To Be Rusty
This may come as a surprise, but you actually do get rusty when you haven’t dated for a while. Not only can your flirting skills get rusty, but you could forget the most important thing about going on dates, which is making a connection with your date and having a great time together!
Some women who avoid the dating scene for extended periods of time return to dating and treat their dates like interviews for prospective husbands. When you haven’t been actively dating, it’s easy to forget that you’re supposed to have fun on dates and not just size a man up for marriage.
5. You Give Yourself A Chance To Meet The Right Man
As much as we want to decide when we find a boyfriend and when we get married, you really never know when you’re going to meet the right man.
Know that when you avoid dating, you’re also avoiding the possibility of meeting a great man and having a great relationship. If you want to meet a great guy, if you want to have a great relationship, you actually have to date to find this person!
The truth is, women often complain about not having a boyfriend or meeting Mr. Right, but they don’t put any effort into meeting new men or they unnecessarily turn down dates with men that could be a good match.
Whatever it is that’s preventing you from dating, remember that you have to date even when you don’t want to!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Related Articles You’ll Like:
You Don’t Deserve a Good Man…Yet!!
6 Must Dos Before A Date
Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
First impressions are everything because they are lasting impressions. When you go out on dates you want to make sure that you’re always putting your best foot forward. So, follow these 5 must dos before a date:
1. No Fantasizing About Your Date
Women often fantasize about dating or being in a relationship with their new date. But, you should never do this before your first date because you ultimately create unrealistic expectations for you and your date.
Your first few dates are supposed to be about getting to know each other and seeing whether you can enjoy each other’s company. You set yourself up for some serious let downs when you fantasize about a new date.
So, don’t dwell on your date or your potential future with the man. Overthinking things can sometimes sabotage yourself.
Image courtesy of TungPhoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
2. Don’t Facebook Him or Facebook Stalk Him
Don’t ask your date to be Facebook friends before you even go out on your first date. Not only should you not Facebook stalk your date, but it’s also too premature to become Facebook friends with someone you may never see again.
Despite what you have fantasized about your date, you don’t know what the future holds, so hold off on becoming Facebook friends.
If you’re already Facebook friends or your date’s profile is public, don’t start snooping on his Facebook page or liking any of his posts. While this behavior is definitely not healthy, you also don’t want to Facebook stalk your date because you could accidentally tell on yourself that you were snooping by bringing up some fact or information you shouldn’t have known.
Figure out whether you actually like your date by getting to know him instead of digging and prying into his social media life.
Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
3. De-Stress And Unwind
You are at your best when you are calm and relaxed. People can sense stress and anxiety and the last thing you want to do is give off or transfer a lot of negative energy on to your date. So, read a book, exercise, catch up on your favorite shows, or call some friends to hang out and veg out!
If you have a hard time relaxing, go to a spa. Get a massage, get in the steam room or sauna. Do whatever you have to do to become that happy and fun woman that you really are, the woman a man can truly enjoy his time with.
But, if you’ve had a really bad day or week and you could easily take this frustration out on your date through your attitude, you may want to consider rescheduling your date for another day (See my post When You Should Cancel Your Date).
There’s nothing worse than being on a date with a woman who has a bad attitude. We all have bad days, but it should never be reflected on your dates!
Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
4. Beautify Your Face
To get ready for your dates, you need to do your eyebrows and get rid of the hair on your upper lip, if necessary. If you get waxed, do it no less than 2 days before your date so there’s no remaining redness or puffiness on your face.
And, this is a great example of why you shouldn’t accept last minute dates (See my post No More Last Minute Dates!) because you need to have an adequate amount of time to prep and primp yourself before a date.
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5. Get Your Nails Done
When I say get your nails done, this includes both hands AND feet ladies! Try not to do any crazy creations with your nails on the first date. Keep your nails simple and classy.
You can show more creativity with your nails on future dates, but you have to know that there is such a thing as too much too soon (See my post One Thing That Kills A Potential Relationship is…). Let a man focus on your personality and not your nails on your first few dates.
And, it’s okay if you don’t get your nails done professionally, but if you’re not great at doing your nails then you need to find a good nail salon in your area. If you can do your own nails, at a minimum you need to trim, clean, and put some clear polish on.
Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
6. Do Your Hair
You have to do your hair before your date, there’s no exceptions here ladies! You should look flawless on your dates and not like something the cat dragged in!
Whether you do your hair yourself or you get it done professionally, just make sure it looks great and adds to your beauty instead of taking away from it.
Now that you know what you need to do before your next dates, it’s time to get out there and date! Happy Dating Ladies!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Are You Picking The Wrong First Date Outfits?
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Getting ready for a date can be stressful and when you pick the wrong outfit it can affect your ability to fully enjoy a date. When you’re picking a first date outfit, comfort is truly key.
Obviously, you want to look gorgeous for your date, but you also need to feel great in whatever it is that you’re wearing. Being comfortable in your outfit is really important because comfort will breed confidence!
Comfort Breeds Confidence
When you’re uncomfortable in your clothes you’ll fidget throughout the date, constantly pulling on your clothes or trying to readjust them. This is insecure behavior.
Here’s the thing, many men do notice when you’re insecure about your appearance. They’ll notice you readjusting your pants when you sit down or stand.
Insecurity is not sexy, cute, or attractive. Men like confident women, period! When you see that gorgeous guy walking down the street with an average girl, it’s her confidence and personality that takes her from being a 6 or 7 to a full 10.
So, on your first dates, you want to wear something that you’re not only comfortable in, but something that also makes you look and feel beautiful too. This way, your confidence can take you from a 6 or 7 to a full 10!
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What’s Your Beauty Factors?
When you feel beautiful you exude beauty! But, what makes one woman feel beautiful though may not make another woman feel beautiful.
For some women, the beauty factor is in the hair, make up, outfit, or a combination of all three.
And, truthfully, you should be paying attention to all three of these beauty factors when you’re getting ready for your date.
You can’t wear a great outfit, but have a hot mess on your head or overly caked on makeup. So, pay attention to your outfit, hair, and make up when you’re getting ready for your date.
Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Confidence Isn’t Arrogance
No matter what you think makes you beautiful, just remember that you need to be your most confident self on your date.
Now, some people confuse confidence with arrogance. But, arrogance is never the way to go!
You can definitely be confident and know you’re beautiful without being arrogant or cocky. So, know the difference and always be your best, most confident self without being obnoxiously arrogant.
The next time you’re getting ready for a date, keep in mind that you want to look like a lady, a woman a man would be proud to call his own.
And, know that there’s a fine line between sexy and slutty. You definitely don’t want to be on the wrong end!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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Best of Dee’s Dating Diary 2014
Dee’s Dating Diary brought you some of the best dating advice in 2014. From red flags to first date etiquette to online dating, Dee’s Dating Diary truly provided need-to-know dating advice! Since 2014 really flew by, you may have missed some … Continue reading
Are You Following The Skin Rule On Your First Dates?
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Picking the right outfit for a date can sometime be stressful, but it’s really important to avoid the temptation to dress in extremely revealing or skimpy outfits.
You may look fabulous in your super short dress with a plunging neck line to your navel and open back, but let me tell you, this is not going to generate anything but sexual interest in you!
And, once a man labels you as a sex object, that’s all you’ll ever be!
So, keep it tasteful on your first few dates by using the skin rule.
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The Skin Rule
You can only show ONE of the following, if any:
1. Cleavage
2. Middrift
3. Legs
4. Back
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Why Do The Skin Rule?
You definitely don’t want to dress too provocatively on your first few dates so that your date will pay more attention to you and not your body.
As a woman, you have to try your best to keep a man’s mind out of the “gutter.” And, you don’t accomplish this by showing up to a date with your breast hanging out over your food.
You want a man to like you for who you are and not your body alone.
Of course, there needs to be an element of attraction but a man can still be very physically attracted to you without having to see your body through sheer or skimpy clothes.
At the end of the day, looks will fade. So, make sure your dates are developing a genuine interest for you and not just your assets!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
How To Answer Questions About Why You’re Single
Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,
How do you answer questions about why you’re single or why your last relationship ended?
Dear Dater,
Less is always more!
If you’ve been asked questions like these by someone you recently met, keep your answers short and sweet!
If you’re asked why you’re single, the best answer is always “you haven’t met the right person.” And, this isn’t a lie, it’s true!
If you already met the right person, you’d still be with him.
The Time Will Come To Open Up
After you’ve been on several dates, if you’re asked details about why your past relationship ended you can open up a bit more. But, remember, the new person you’re dating doesn’t need all the nitty gritty details.
When you’ve been dating someone for awhile, of course you’ll have to speak more openly about why it ended with your ex.
If a past relationship ended as a result of your own bad behavior, own up to what you did and be sure to tell the person how you learned from that mistake and that you’d never do that to someone again.
It’s easy to scare new dates off with what they may perceive as problems that you have. Too much information too soon can definitely kill a potential relationship. Check out the post I wrote about this: One Thing That Kills A Potential Relationship is…
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Yours Truly,
Dee
Are You Turning Men or Women Off On Dates?
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On first dates, you’re essentially selling your best self!
First dates are your opportunity to show a person the best of who you are, whatever that may be.
Ultimately, people fall in love for the good in someone, not the bad.
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Accentuate The Positive
The reality is, you attract people with positive points not negative ones. So, you should always lead with the positive!
Once a person likes you, he or she can more easily overlook your flaws.
But, when you lay your problems on the table too soon, you can easily scare a person off.
When your dates reflect back on the time you both shared together, you want them to have positive feelings about you and the experience.
You definitely don’t want to leave a bitter taste in their mouth. But, when you bring up your problems on first dates, that’s exactly what you do!
Compare with Friendships
Think about your friendships. It’s the good things about your friends and the positive times shared that built and strengthened the friendship.
We all learn about flaws that we may not necessarily care for in our friends, but we accept those flaws. And, why is this?
It’s because of the positive foundation that the friendship was built on.
Taking this analogy back to dating… Once you’ve started to build the foundation of your relationship, a person can easily overlook your flaws and accept you for the complete person that you are.
But, when you put your flaws on the table on your first few dates, you’re just giving your date reasons to write you off for a potential relationship.
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Your Date Will Learn With Time
We all know that no one is perfect, but there’s really no point in even talking about your issues on first dates because, in time, they will all be known anyway!
A new person you’re dating should learn about your flaws naturally, in the course of dating and getting to know you. Not because you threw it in his or her face.
Putting yourself down won’t get you positive results in dating, so leave the negative feelings about yourself at the door and remember to accentuate your positives!!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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When You Should Cancel Your Date
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First dates are crucial in determining whether someone will be a good match. In a world where people make snap judgments about each other, it’s extremely important to put your best foot forward on your dates.
A first date is your opportunity to make a connection and enjoy your time with your date.
But, there are things that can get in the way of you making a great connection on a good date.
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When You Should Cancel Your Date
A serious problem I’ve often seen with women is their decision to go on a date when they’ve had a bad day.
Now, I’m not just talking about any bad day. I’m talking about the kind of bad day that leaves you bitter, defensive, and on the brink of an emotional outburst.
I’ve seen women get aggressive, take simple statements or compliments the wrong way, make offensive remarks, and even take anger out on their date. All because they had a terrible day at work.
No one is immune from having a bad day, but not everyone has the ability to have a bad day and then go on a date with a positive, upbeat attitude.
If this is you, then it’s time to add this rule to your rulebook: If you’ve had a bad day and won’t be able to maintain a positive, friendly, and upbeat attitude then you need to cancel your date and reschedule for another day.
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It’s A Risk Worth Taking
You may be thinking, “I don’t want to cancel the date just because I’ve had a bad day! What if he doesn’t want to reschedule?”
But, think about it like this, it’s better to take that chance and cancel the date because if you do go on the date with a bad attitude, you’re definitely going to cross yourself off as a potential dating partner.
Better you try to reschedule the date than leave a bitter taste in your date’s mouth.
Plus, if a person is really interested in getting to know you, rescheduling the date shouldn’t be a problem!
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When Is It Okay NOT to Cancel The Date?
Once you’ve been on several dates, this rule doesn’t necessarily apply.
Because, if you really want to build a future with someone, you will go through ups and downs together and you need to know that your partner can give you the support and encouragement you need during difficult times.
But, this still does not give you a pass to have attitude or treat your date or boyfriend poorly.
So, the next time your bad day coincides with a date, give yourself time to readjust your attitude and reschedule the date for another day!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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