How Often Do You Check Your Online Dating Profile?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We live in a time where we are constantly connected to technology and our phones, checking our favorite social media apps, blogs, podcasts, and plenty of other things on the internet. But, while we do spend so much time “online” some online daters forget the importance of regularly checking their online dating profiles.

If you never had intentions of giving online dating a genuine chance, then you won’t feel the need to log in to your online dating site very often. However, if you do want to give online dating a real shot, you have to realize that a consistent presence on your dating site is imperative.

Many people don’t realize that some online dating sites or apps will delete messages that users have sent you after a certain amount of time has passed. If you rarely go on your dating site, you could be missing out on meeting great people without even knowing it.

Once you’ve started a conversation with someone on your dating site, it’s even more important to consistently check your profile for new messages. A part of having success in online dating is your ability to keep the momentum of the conversation and interest going.

But, when you rarely check your messages and respond to messages weeks later, the person who contacted you could have moved on and connected with someone else.

So, if you want to see more results in your online dating life, check your profile messages every 1-2 days, at a minimum!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

What’s Your Favorite Online Dating Website?

Image courtesy of Atibodyphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Atibodyphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s really easy to get discouraged in dating, but it’s even easier to get discouraged with online dating. Most women get off dating sites once they feel they aren’t getting the results they want.

But, instead of giving up on online dating altogether, you should try different dating sites. There’s something for almost everyone out there.

So, for the newcomers to online dating and the veterans who feel their sites have gotten stale, here’s a list of some online dating websites you can try out:

Plenty of Fish

Ok Cupid

Match

eHarmony

Zoosk

Chemistry.com

Spark

Cupid

Christian Mingle

JDate

Senior People Meet

Our Time (50+ Dating)

Senior Dating

Black People Meet

Black Planet

Interracial Dating

Atlanta’s ONYX

How About We

Alikewise (Dating Based on Book Tastes)

Big & Beautiful Singles

Mingle 2

Connecting Singles

Farmers Only

Single Parent Meet

If you know of great online dating websites that you don’t see on this list, feel free to leave the names in a comment below!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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5 Online Dating Don’ts

5 Online Dating Don’ts

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Although online dating is extremely prevalent around the world, online dating etiquette is definitely lagging! So, for the online daters out there that just don’t know, here’s 5 online dating don’ts:

1. No Hats or Sunglasses in Your Profile Pictures

We all have some fabulous pictures of ourselves in hats or sunglasses, or even both! But, your online dating profile is not the place for these pictures. Hats and sunglasses actually hide a lot of your face and this is not what you want to showcase.

Your profile pictures should give people a real sense of what you look like and not be just a gorgeous illusion of you.

2. Don’t Lie About Your Education

Many women meet men online that claim to have an associate’s degree, bachelor’s degree, master’s degree, or “some college,” and turn out to have nothing beyond high school.

While there’s nothing wrong with only having a high school diploma, the problem is when you lie about it. Some men feel the need to lie about their education in order to seem more appealing to women who do have advanced degrees.

Here’s the thing, a woman with advanced degrees could be open to dating a man with a high school diploma or GED, but she most likely won’t want to date a liar. So, be up front about your education and don’t say you did “some college” when you did no college at all.

3. Don’t Vent About Dating in Your Online Dating Profile

You would think some people would know better, but nope! For some, it’s perfectly okay to vent about bad online dating experiences. For example, “I’m looking for a good woman. I’m tired of all the women on this site that are just looking for a man to buy them dinner and pay their bills. No, I won’t pay your car note! If you’re a down to earth, independent woman send me a message 🙂 .”

This is not okay! And, it’s not going to get you the responses you think it will. Your online dating profile is not the place to vent about your dating experiences. Save these venting sessions for your friends and family.

4. Don’t Lie About Your Job

You should never lie about your job, which includes saying your occupation is a job you had over a year or more ago. I mean, if you’ll lie about your job, what else will you lie about?

Honesty and trust are very important foundations of a relationship. Ultimately, lies destroy trust. And, when you try to build a relationship on lies, your foundation will always be shaky and unstable.

5. Don’t Talk About Your Ex In Your Profile

NEVER talk about your ex in your online dating profile. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a quick reference to what you didn’t like about your ex, like “My ex was super selfish and I think she was cheating on me so I need a loyal woman” or whether it’s an all out story telling time for what happened in the relationship.

Your ex should never be a point of conversation on your online dating profile or your first dates!! If you feel that strongly about including your ex in your profile description or conversation, it may be too soon for you to start dating again. Take a little more time to heal from the relationship before jumping back into the dating game.

Now that we’re more than a decade into online dating, it’s time that our online dating etiquette reflect that!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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Not Happy With Your Online Dating Website?

Not Happy With Your Online Dating Website?

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Today, there’s so many online dating websites out there, not to mention numerous sites that cater to specific interests.

So, with all these online dating websites to choose from, how do you know if you picked the right site?

Really, you don’t know. And, if you’re having trouble meeting new dates then it’s time to branch out and try some different dating sites!

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Join Multiple Online Dating Websites?

If you’re having trouble keeping up with a single online dating website, then you definitely want to stick to one site for now.

But, if you’re not having any success with the one dating site that you are on, then you should definitely join one or two more online dating sites.

The truth is, not every person that uses online dating registers with every different online dating website that’s out there.

So, if you join more than one dating site, you’re opening yourself up to meeting even more men that could be potential matches.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You Only Need One

When you’re using online dating, you have to remember that you only need one good, quality man for a relationship.

You don’t need to attract several men that are perfect for you, just one. So, there’s no need to get discouraged if you haven’t found your match yet.

Some women join one dating site and after a few months or a year of using the same site without success, they get frustrated and want to give up on online dating altogether. But, that’s a bit hasty.

Just because you haven’t found a match on one dating site doesn’t mean you won’t find it on another.

Now, don’t stretch yourself too thin by joining too many online dating sites at once, but definitely open yourself up to more opportunities by joining more than one.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

10 Tips For Safe Online Dating

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Online dating has quickly gained momentum in the past decade, but online dating safety can’t be ignored.

Although more and more people are meeting their husbands and wives through online dating, it’s still very important for you to take safety precautions on your online dates!

In fact, for some people, it’s the safety concerns that keep them from giving online dating a chance.

So, I want to give some great tips to help you be safe when jumping into the online dating pool.

 Image courtesy of Anankkml at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Anankkml at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

10 Tips For Safe Online Dating:

1. Never Put More Than Just A City Location On Your Online Dating Profile

While your online dating profile does allow you to display the city you’re located in, putting any additional information on your profile about your location is dangerous.

This includes the name of your neighborhood, apartment complex, or any nearby landmarks. Online dating users should never know anything more than the general city and state that you live in.

If someone asks you for more information or details about where you live, don’t tell them!!

 Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

2. Get To Know Your Potential Online Dates Before Meeting Them

Spend time getting to know the person you’re talking to before going on a date. It’s hard to give an exact timeframe on how long you should wait before meeting an online date because each situation is different.

But, in general, if you’re speaking on the phone frequently (almost everyday or every other day), you can meet in person 2-3 weeks after meeting online (at minimum). However, always use your own best judgment in deciding how soon to meet an online date!

3. Never Have Your First Few Dates At Your Home Or Your Date’s Home

Having your first online date at a home is a really bad idea! You should never meet a person that you don’t know in a private place where it will only be the two of you.

You first few online dates should always be at public places with lots of people! If this is a problem for you, then online dating isn’t a resource that you should use.

 Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

4. Tell Your Close Friends or Family That You’re Going On An Online Date

While many people are still weary about letting others know that they use online dating, you can’t keep this information to yourself if you’re going to go on any online dates!

It’s important that someone close to you knows that you’re using online dating in case anything happens to you.

There is certain information that you need to give your loved ones if you choose to go on an online date. Which brings me to my next tip…

5. Give A Close Friend or Family Member Your Date’s Information

Before you go on your online date, make sure you provide a close friend or family member with the following information about your online date:

1. Your Date’s Username

2. Your Date’s Full Name

3. Your Date’s Phone Number

4. The Location of Your Date

5. The Time of Your Date

Giving this information to a close friend will ensure that someone knows who, where, and what you will be doing in case something happens.

If your friend knows that you’re going to dinner, but doesn’t hear back from you within 3-4 hours after your date started, then they can call you to make sure you made it home safely or take any other appropriate action.

 Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

6. Text Your Date’s License Plate Number, If Possible

If at all possible, when you get to the date location, text your date’s license plate number to a friend in addition to providing the information in Tip #5.

This is if you have the opportunity to do this, of course. If not, the other information you provided from Tip #5 should be enough.

*You could also take a picture of the license plate by pretending to take a selfie. 

7. Have A Friend or Family Member Accompany You On the Date

If you’re extremely nervous about your safety on an online date, you can also have a friend or two go to the restaurant or bar where the date is and have them hang out there during your date.

You definitely don’t want your online date to know that the both of you are being watched, so have your friends sit somewhere far enough that they won’t be noticed by your date but close enough too monitor what’s going on during the date.

 Image courtesy of Digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

8. Drive Your Own Car To The Online Date

Always drive your own car to meet your online date. Never allow a date to pick you up from your home or anywhere else for that matter!

You’d be putting way too much control in your date’s hands by allowing them to pick you up. Be in control of yourself and drive your car to your date!

9. Tell Your Friend When You Make It Home From Your Date

Don’t leave your friends or family in agonizing misery about what’s happening to you on your online date.

As soon as the date is over, don’t forget to shoot your friend a text saying you made it home safely so they can stop worrying about you!

 Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

10. If It Doesn’t Feel Right, DON’T GO!!

NEVER go on a date with someone you met online if they have made you feel uncomfortable in any way or nervous about your safety on a date.

Always trust your gut! If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t!

Stay Safe

While I am an advocate of online dating, I don’t believe that you should ever ignore your gut feelings about a date! So, pay close attention to your instincts and follow these tips for being safe on your online dates!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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How to Create A Great Online Dating Profile

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

With online dating becoming more popular and widespread, building a great online dating profile is a must!

While some people do use online dating as a superficial picture shopping forum, there are many people that actually take the time to read online dating profiles.

So, you definitely want to say a little about who you are and what you’re looking for.

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Writing About Yourself

When you’re writing in the “about yourself” section of your profile, you only need 1 paragraph.

And, this paragraph should be no more than 3-5 sentences long.

You need to think critically about who you are. Play up your best and most important characteristics.

If you’re having a hard time describing yourself, think about how your family and friends would describe you.

If you still can’t come up with anything, then reach out to friends and family and ask them how they would describe you.

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Writing About What You’re Looking For

You definitely need to seriously evaluate what you want in a partner. I’m not talking about superficial things like looks, physique, or money.

I’m talking about those important qualities that you need in a partner.

So, now is the time to distinguish between your wants and your needs!

If you need more help figuring out what you need in a partner and relationship, check out my post “Is Your Laundry List Holding You Back From Getting A Quality Man?

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is There Too Much Information On Your Dating Profile?

Ultimately, your online dating profile only needs just enough information to tantalize potential dates and leave them wanting to get to know more about you.

I’ve seen numerous profiles where people have divulged their entire life story or listed every last detail about themselves and what they like, and, unfortunately, these profiles don’t cultivate much attention.

While it is important to write about yourself and the qualities you want in a person, you never want anyone to think that they know exactly who you are based solely on reading your profile.

I know this may seem counterintuitive for some people, perhaps you thought more is better!!

But, trust me, it’s much easier for people to make snap judgments about your compatibility and whether you’re a date worth pursuing when you give too much information on your profile.

Even if you left out some small details here and there on your profile, you better believe that people will fill in those small gaps with their own assumptions. Whether those assumptions are true or not.

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Limiting Your Date Conversation?

When it comes to writing about the movies, songs, and books a person likes, I’ve seen many profiles that list well over 30-50 items and this is definitely overkill!

When you write about every last movie, song, or book you like,  you leave no room for these topics to become conversation points on your dates.

Don’t take away a lot of the great conversation you could have on your date by putting too much information on your dating profile.

Reel your dates in by leaving enough curiosity to ponder, which means keep your online dating profiles short and sweet!!

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Need More Help With Your Online Dating Profile?

Do you think your online dating profile needs a makeover? Have you been using an online dating site for months, but aren’t getting the attention you want?

Or, do you need help creating your first online dating profile?

Well, Dee’s Dating Diary is here to help! I can help transform your profile from a dud to a stud!

Give yourself a fighting chance with online dating, contact Dee’s Dating Diary today at Dee@DeesDatingDiary.com.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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5 Tips For Better Online Dating Profile Pictures

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you create a profile on an online dating website, you hope that you’ll get lots of messages and meet your perfect match.

But, what many people don’t realize when they create their online dating profiles is that your profile pictures are the most important aspect of your dating profile.

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Online Dating Increases Superficiality 

There’s something about online dating that enables and even pushes people to use it in a superficial way.

Perhaps it’s the structure of having pages that show tons of profiles with a quick synopsis consisting of just a picture, location, and tagline, that promotes the behavior of picking dates or determining interest based on pictures alone.

While there shouldn’t be such a strong emphasis on profile pictures, the reality is, most people pick online dates based solely on profile pictures.

Many people won’t take the time to read your entire profile, but they will definitely go through all of your pictures. Well, that’s if your main profile picture has caught their attention in the first place.

Although you don’t want to date someone who picks dates based on looks alone, the sad truth is, even good people fall victim to the online dating photo shopping mentality.

So, considering how important it is to have great profile pictures in order to drive attention to your online dating profile, I want to give you 5 great tips for your dating profile pics!

5 Tips For Creating Better Online Dating Profile Pictures:

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

1. No Blurry Pictures

This is pretty self explanatory, but you should never put blurry pictures of yourself on your online dating profile or you might as well hide your face altogether.

Your pictures are supposed to let people know what you look like.

But, when you put blurry pictures on your profile it can be deceiving or give someone the impression that you have something to hide. Be honest and show who you really are.

2. No Pictures of Pictures

Profile pictures are supposed to show the best you. But, even if the best picture of you only exists in hard copy and there’s no digital version, you still CANNOT take a picture of that picture.

Let’s be honest too, if your best picture is only in the form of a hard copy and there’s no digital copy as well, the picture is way too old to be used on your dating profile.

With the advancements of technology, there’s no reason why you should have to take a picture of a printed photo.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. No Pictures With People of The Opposite Sex

You should never use pictures of yourself with someone of the opposite sex because you can give people the wrong impression about the relationship you have with that person.

I know many women that have later found out that the woman in a picture with their online date was actually the man’s wife or girlfriend. And, these experiences lead women to mistrust and write off other men who have women in their profile pictures.

Even if the person in your picture is truthfully just a friend, you don’t want to give prospective matches the opportunity to make a snap judgment about who you’re with in your pictures and move on to the next profile.

Don’t give anyone the chance to fill in the blanks about the relationships you have with people in your pictures.

4. No Less Than 3 Pictures on Your Profile, But No More than 5

Your online dating profile pictures should consist of 1 or 2 head shots, 1 or 2 full body shots, and an optional activity photo that shows you doing an activity or hobby you enjoy.

You want to give a little variety in your pictures to give someone a better sense of what you actually look like. When you only use one picture or a few pictures that show you from the same exact angle, you’re not allowing a person to know what you really look like.

We all know that sometimes a person’s “best angle” isn’t necessarily a good reflection of how the person normally looks!

5. Your Pictures Cannot Be More Than A Year Old

This is a pretty straight forward tip, you know why you shouldn’t use old pictures on your dating profile. Your profile is supposed to show people what you currently look like, not what you looked like in your best years or at your lowest weight.

There is an exception to this rule though… If you’re one of those people who always looks the same and doesn’t really age, you can use an older picture of yourself as long as you look the same exact way today.

If you have pictures that are less than a year old but you’ve changed your look, then you need to take new pictures for your profile. So, if you’ve change your hair, lost a lot of weight, or gained a lot of weight, you need to take new photos and update your profile pictures!

Need More Help With Your Dating Profile Pictures?

While you don’t need to use a professional photographer to take your pictures for your online dating profile, you can use an online dating photographer who will take natural pictures that will capture your true and realistic beauty.

If you live in the UK and you’re interested in taking pictures with an online dating photographer, check out this Facebook page: Saturday Night’s Alright

If you live in the US and would like referrals for online dating photographers, email me at Dee@DeesDatingDiary.com.

Don’t forget, I’ve dedicated the month of October to online dating, so stay tuned for more great online dating tips to come!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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