In this short video, I provide 4 great dating advice tips on how to meet new men. If you’re having a hard time meeting new men to date or just can’t seem to locate quality men, then this video is definitely for you!
For more great tips on how to meet new men, get my book– Picking Up The Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve! Amazon | Barnes & Noble
Till Next Time,
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First impressions are everything because they are lasting impressions. When you go out on dates you want to make sure that you’re always putting your best foot forward. So, follow these 5 must dos before a date:
Women often fantasize about dating or being in a relationship with their new date. But, you should never do this before your first date because you ultimately create unrealistic expectations for you and your date.
Your first few dates are supposed to be about getting to know each other and seeing whether you can enjoy each other’s company. You set yourself up for some serious let downs when you fantasize about a new date.
So, don’t dwell on your date or your potential future with the man. Overthinking things can sometimes sabotage yourself.
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Don’t ask your date to be Facebook friends before you even go out on your first date. Not only should you not Facebook stalk your date, but it’s also too premature to become Facebook friends with someone you may never see again.
Despite what you have fantasized about your date, you don’t know what the future holds, so hold off on becoming Facebook friends.
If you’re already Facebook friends or your date’s profile is public, don’t start snooping on his Facebook page or liking any of his posts. While this behavior is definitely not healthy, you also don’t want to Facebook stalk your date because you could accidentally tell on yourself that you were snooping by bringing up some fact or information you shouldn’t have known.
Figure out whether you actually like your date by getting to know him instead of digging and prying into his social media life.
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You are at your best when you are calm and relaxed. People can sense stress and anxiety and the last thing you want to do is give off or transfer a lot of negative energy on to your date. So, read a book, exercise, catch up on your favorite shows, or call some friends to hang out and veg out!
If you have a hard time relaxing, go to a spa. Get a massage, get in the steam room or sauna. Do whatever you have to do to become that happy and fun woman that you really are, the woman a man can truly enjoy his time with.
But, if you’ve had a really bad day or week and you could easily take this frustration out on your date through your attitude, you may want to consider rescheduling your date for another day (See my post When You Should Cancel Your Date).
There’s nothing worse than being on a date with a woman who has a bad attitude. We all have bad days, but it should never be reflected on your dates!
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To get ready for your dates, you need to do your eyebrows and get rid of the hair on your upper lip, if necessary. If you get waxed, do it no less than 2 days before your date so there’s no remaining redness or puffiness on your face.
And, this is a great example of why you shouldn’t accept last minute dates (See my post No More Last Minute Dates!) because you need to have an adequate amount of time to prep and primp yourself before a date.
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When I say get your nails done, this includes both hands AND feet ladies! Try not to do any crazy creations with your nails on the first date. Keep your nails simple and classy.
You can show more creativity with your nails on future dates, but you have to know that there is such a thing as too much too soon (See my post One Thing That Kills A Potential Relationship is…). Let a man focus on your personality and not your nails on your first few dates.
And, it’s okay if you don’t get your nails done professionally, but if you’re not great at doing your nails then you need to find a good nail salon in your area. If you can do your own nails, at a minimum you need to trim, clean, and put some clear polish on.
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You have to do your hair before your date, there’s no exceptions here ladies! You should look flawless on your dates and not like something the cat dragged in!
Whether you do your hair yourself or you get it done professionally, just make sure it looks great and adds to your beauty instead of taking away from it.
Now that you know what you need to do before your next dates, it’s time to get out there and date! Happy Dating Ladies!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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Getting ready for a date can be stressful and when you pick the wrong outfit it can affect your ability to fully enjoy a date. When you’re picking a first date outfit, comfort is truly key.
Obviously, you want to look gorgeous for your date, but you also need to feel great in whatever it is that you’re wearing. Being comfortable in your outfit is really important because comfort will breed confidence!
Comfort Breeds Confidence
When you’re uncomfortable in your clothes you’ll fidget throughout the date, constantly pulling on your clothes or trying to readjust them. This is insecure behavior.
Here’s the thing, many men do notice when you’re insecure about your appearance. They’ll notice you readjusting your pants when you sit down or stand.
Insecurity is not sexy, cute, or attractive. Men like confident women, period! When you see that gorgeous guy walking down the street with an average girl, it’s her confidence and personality that takes her from being a 6 or 7 to a full 10.
So, on your first dates, you want to wear something that you’re not only comfortable in, but something that also makes you look and feel beautiful too. This way, your confidence can take you from a 6 or 7 to a full 10!
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What’s Your Beauty Factors?
When you feel beautiful you exude beauty! But, what makes one woman feel beautiful though may not make another woman feel beautiful.
For some women, the beauty factor is in the hair, make up, outfit, or a combination of all three.
And, truthfully, you should be paying attention to all three of these beauty factors when you’re getting ready for your date.
You can’t wear a great outfit, but have a hot mess on your head or overly caked on makeup. So, pay attention to your outfit, hair, and make up when you’re getting ready for your date.
Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Confidence Isn’t Arrogance
No matter what you think makes you beautiful, just remember that you need to be your most confident self on your date.
Now, some people confuse confidence with arrogance. But, arrogance is never the way to go!
You can definitely be confident and know you’re beautiful without being arrogant or cocky. So, know the difference and always be your best, most confident self without being obnoxiously arrogant.
The next time you’re getting ready for a date, keep in mind that you want to look like a lady, a woman a man would be proud to call his own.
And, know that there’s a fine line between sexy and slutty. You definitely don’t want to be on the wrong end!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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You Attract What You Put Out There!
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Picking the right outfit for a date can sometime be stressful, but it’s really important to avoid the temptation to dress in extremely revealing or skimpy outfits.
You may look fabulous in your super short dress with a plunging neck line to your navel and open back, but let me tell you, this is not going to generate anything but sexual interest in you!
And, once a man labels you as a sex object, that’s all you’ll ever be!
So, keep it tasteful on your first few dates by using the skin rule.
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The Skin Rule
You can only show ONE of the following, if any:
1. Cleavage
2. Middrift
3. Legs
4. Back
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Why Do The Skin Rule?
You definitely don’t want to dress too provocatively on your first few dates so that your date will pay more attention to you and not your body.
As a woman, you have to try your best to keep a man’s mind out of the “gutter.” And, you don’t accomplish this by showing up to a date with your breast hanging out over your food.
You want a man to like you for who you are and not your body alone.
Of course, there needs to be an element of attraction but a man can still be very physically attracted to you without having to see your body through sheer or skimpy clothes.
At the end of the day, looks will fade. So, make sure your dates are developing a genuine interest for you and not just your assets!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,
How do you answer questions about why you’re single or why your last relationship ended?
Dear Dater,
Less is always more!
If you’ve been asked questions like these by someone you recently met, keep your answers short and sweet!
If you’re asked why you’re single, the best answer is always “you haven’t met the right person.” And, this isn’t a lie, it’s true!
If you already met the right person, you’d still be with him.
The Time Will Come To Open Up
After you’ve been on several dates, if you’re asked details about why your past relationship ended you can open up a bit more. But, remember, the new person you’re dating doesn’t need all the nitty gritty details.
When you’ve been dating someone for awhile, of course you’ll have to speak more openly about why it ended with your ex.
If a past relationship ended as a result of your own bad behavior, own up to what you did and be sure to tell the person how you learned from that mistake and that you’d never do that to someone again.
It’s easy to scare new dates off with what they may perceive as problems that you have. Too much information too soon can definitely kill a potential relationship. Check out the post I wrote about this: One Thing That Kills A Potential Relationship is…
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Yours Truly,
Dee
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On first dates, you’re essentially selling your best self!
First dates are your opportunity to show a person the best of who you are, whatever that may be.
Ultimately, people fall in love for the good in someone, not the bad.
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Accentuate The Positive
The reality is, you attract people with positive points not negative ones. So, you should always lead with the positive!
Once a person likes you, he or she can more easily overlook your flaws.
But, when you lay your problems on the table too soon, you can easily scare a person off.
When your dates reflect back on the time you both shared together, you want them to have positive feelings about you and the experience.
You definitely don’t want to leave a bitter taste in their mouth. But, when you bring up your problems on first dates, that’s exactly what you do!
Compare with Friendships
Think about your friendships. It’s the good things about your friends and the positive times shared that built and strengthened the friendship.
We all learn about flaws that we may not necessarily care for in our friends, but we accept those flaws. And, why is this?
It’s because of the positive foundation that the friendship was built on.
Taking this analogy back to dating… Once you’ve started to build the foundation of your relationship, a person can easily overlook your flaws and accept you for the complete person that you are.
But, when you put your flaws on the table on your first few dates, you’re just giving your date reasons to write you off for a potential relationship.
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Your Date Will Learn With Time
We all know that no one is perfect, but there’s really no point in even talking about your issues on first dates because, in time, they will all be known anyway!
A new person you’re dating should learn about your flaws naturally, in the course of dating and getting to know you. Not because you threw it in his or her face.
Putting yourself down won’t get you positive results in dating, so leave the negative feelings about yourself at the door and remember to accentuate your positives!!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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First dates are crucial in determining whether someone will be a good match. In a world where people make snap judgments about each other, it’s extremely important to put your best foot forward on your dates.
A first date is your opportunity to make a connection and enjoy your time with your date.
But, there are things that can get in the way of you making a great connection on a good date.
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When You Should Cancel Your Date
A serious problem I’ve often seen with women is their decision to go on a date when they’ve had a bad day.
Now, I’m not just talking about any bad day. I’m talking about the kind of bad day that leaves you bitter, defensive, and on the brink of an emotional outburst.
I’ve seen women get aggressive, take simple statements or compliments the wrong way, make offensive remarks, and even take anger out on their date. All because they had a terrible day at work.
No one is immune from having a bad day, but not everyone has the ability to have a bad day and then go on a date with a positive, upbeat attitude.
If this is you, then it’s time to add this rule to your rulebook: If you’ve had a bad day and won’t be able to maintain a positive, friendly, and upbeat attitude then you need to cancel your date and reschedule for another day.
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It’s A Risk Worth Taking
You may be thinking, “I don’t want to cancel the date just because I’ve had a bad day! What if he doesn’t want to reschedule?”
But, think about it like this, it’s better to take that chance and cancel the date because if you do go on the date with a bad attitude, you’re definitely going to cross yourself off as a potential dating partner.
Better you try to reschedule the date than leave a bitter taste in your date’s mouth.
Plus, if a person is really interested in getting to know you, rescheduling the date shouldn’t be a problem!
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When Is It Okay NOT to Cancel The Date?
Once you’ve been on several dates, this rule doesn’t necessarily apply.
Because, if you really want to build a future with someone, you will go through ups and downs together and you need to know that your partner can give you the support and encouragement you need during difficult times.
But, this still does not give you a pass to have attitude or treat your date or boyfriend poorly.
So, the next time your bad day coincides with a date, give yourself time to readjust your attitude and reschedule the date for another day!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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While I normally address red flags that women should be watchful for with men, I want to focus on 5 red flags that men need to watch for with women.
Although some men are great at identifying red flags that tell you a woman may not be good relationship material, some men don’t readily notice these clues.
So, here are 5 Red Flags That Men Need To Watch For:
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Talking about “the future” too soon is definitely a red flag that you need to pay attention to. This is a sign that she may try to force the progression of your relationship.
Listen carefully when your date is speaking. If she uses the word “we” a lot, then you have a good idea of what you may be getting yourself into by continuing to date this woman.
If a woman is making plans for the both of you and it’s only your second date, you can’t act surprised when soon after she’s trying to pressure you into a relationship and then marriage!
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It’s never a good idea to date a needy or clingy woman. Clinginess is a sign that a woman will have dependency issues in the relationship.
Dating a woman that is completely dependent on you is detrimental to having a healthy relationship.
A needy woman requires A LOT of attention and pacifying. She can’t be alone and she’ll want to spend all of her time with you, which could make you feel suffocated by her attention.
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Talking about exes on the first few dates is a HUGE red flag! If she’s talking about her ex-boyfriend on a date with you, face it, she’s NOT over him.
You don’t want to have to deal with the emotional baggage she’s carrying from her last relationship.
Some women don’t take the necessary time to deal with issues from their previous relationship and actually HEAL before getting back into the dating world.
If you don’t want to deal with a woman’s issues that another man caused, then steer clear of the woman who can’t help but talk about her ex!
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If your date makes a reference to you being a player type or suggests that you must date many women, and you’re not, this is a red flag that she may be the jealous type.
You don’t want to date a woman who is jealous for no reason because this will play out in your relationship if you decide to date her exclusively.
With a jealous woman, she may accuse you of cheating or even snoop through your phone or other things. Dating a jealous woman is not conducive to having a happy or healthy relationship.
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If a woman is very insecure and lacks self-confidence, this is a sign that you will have to put A LOT of effort into dating this woman.
This is because an insecure woman requires a lot of emotional work and, therefore, a lot of emotional support from you.
While it may seem admirable to take this relationship on and try to help your girlfriend work through her self-worth issues, true change can only come from her.
There’s nothing you can do to make her secure about herself. It’s called “SELF-” worth and “SELF-” confidence for a reason, it has to come from her, NOT you!
Any Thoughts?
What are your experiences with dealing with these kinds of red flags? I’d love to hear your stories and perspectives, so please leave a comment below!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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Ideally, we all want to go out on a new date and make a great connection. We’d love to immediately “click” with the other person and hit it off!
But, not everyone is meant to make a connection that, ultimately, sparks a great relationship.
While you won’t always make a connection with new dates, there are things you can do to increase your chances of making a great connection on your next date.
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The On-Hand Technology Dilemma
In this day and age, we have all become so attached to technology and our little gadgets that we often let it get in the way of fully living and enjoying the moment.
We are constantly checking our phone for texts, emails, or calls and it’s to the detriment of what we have going on in front of us.
It’s not possible to be 100% in the moment while your using or checking your phone.
And, you better believe that people can sense when you’re not “in the conversation” and this can limit the amount of effort that a person will make in trying to talk to you or connect with you.
So, with the compulsion we feel towards constantly utilizing our technology, how can we prevent this from interfering with our dates and every day life?
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Turn The Technology Off
In order to increase your chances of making a genuine connection on your dates, you need to turn your technology off!
Now, I do understand that going on a date with someone new can present questions of safety, which necessitates access to your phone in case of an emergency.
However, you can put your phone on vibrate and keep it in your pocket or purse if you won’t feel compelled to pull it out the second it vibrates.
If you can’t keep yourself from checking your phone when you feel it vibrate, then you need to completely turn it off on your date or keep it in your car.
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Make A Connection
It’s nearly impossible to make a connection with someone you don’t know when your face is buried in your phone.
It’s one thing if your expecting a really important phone call, in which case, you should let your date know that you’re expecting an important phone call so they won’t feel unimportant or ignored on the date.
Considering that it’s not always easy to make a connection with someone new, you have to know that regularly checking your phone will actually hurt the flow of conversation and take you “out of the moment.”
In remaining connected to the conversation, and thus, your date, you make it much easier to make a great connection.
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Conversation Is A Two-Way Street
Conversation on a date is not a one-way street. It takes the effort of both people.
If your focus is on your phone and who’s texting or emailing you, you won’t be putting in the requisite amount of effort you need in order to continue the fluidity of your conversation.
Therefore, if you want to increase your chances of making a great connection on your next date, you need to turn your technology off!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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This week, I wanted to address a very common red flag that most younger women tend to overlook.
How many times have you had plans with a man just for him to be a “no call, no show?”
You made plans the day before or even days in advance, but when the time comes to see each other he’s not picking up his phone. And, he’s definitely not calling back.
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What Does “Falling Asleep” On You Mean?
If a man stands you up and tells you the next day that he “fell asleep,” trust me, HE’S LYING!
The harsh reality is that he’s not into you at all! Men don’t fall asleep when they have plans with a woman.
Most likely, he found something better to do, maybe with another woman, or he wasn’t even in the mood to talk to you or deal with you at all.
It’s sad that some men don’t even have enough respect for a woman to call her and cancel their plans. The truth is, he shouldn’t have made plans with you in the first place.
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This Won’t Be The Last Time
One thing that I can guarantee you though, if a man tells you that he fell asleep when you had plans, this won’t be the last time that he’s a “no call, no show.”
The only difference will be that each time he “disappears” on you like this, he’s excuses will get bigger and bigger.
It could go from “falling asleep” to “losing his phone” to “being sick in the hospital.”
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How Do You Handle It?
When the guy you had plans with doesn’t call you or return your call, either you start worrying about his well-being OR you get pissed!
Pissed that he’s standing you up. Pissed that he doesn’t have the decency to call or cancel the date. Pissed that he put you through this (and you got all cute and everything too)!
Now, some women in this position will call the man once or twice while others will blow up his phone all night and probably leave a few voicemails or texts cursing him out.
All of that is unnecessary though! When a man stands you up, the last thing you need to do is worry about his well-being, blow up his phone, or waste your energy cursing him out!
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Did You Push For The Date?
Interestingly enough though, women usually encounter these situations when they are the ones pursuing the man. Think about it.
If this has ever happened to you, were you the one that pushed the topic of getting together? Did he actually say he wanted to do something with you or did he just agree to your suggestion to meet?
It’s important not to chase men into relationships. You may get some attention from your efforts, but it may not be lasting.
Let a man go after you so that you don’t force yourself on someone that just isn’t that into you.
The next time a man “falls asleep” on you, drop him like a hot potato and never look back!!
For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve
Till Next Time,
Dee
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Sex can be a very taboo topic for some, but it’s one that must be addressed!
Many women consider themselves “free-spirited” and are very comfortable talking about sex. On the other hand, there are women who understand the intimacy of sex and know it’s not something to engage in or speak of lightly.
For the women that are of the belief that sex is “no big deal,” now is the time to rethink your position.
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Stop Talking About Sex On Dates
A lot of women recognize that they shouldn’t sleep with men until they are in an exclusive relationship, but many of these women think that it’s okay to talk about sex on the first few dates with men.
The truth is, most of the time, talking about sex on the first few dates is just as good as having sex on the first few dates.
It’s hard enough to keep men from thinking about just having sex with you, so when you make sex a point of conversation, you automatically trigger that part of the man’s mind that associates you with sex.
So, even if you aren’t having sex with a man, when you talk about it too soon, you may be pushing him towards categorizing you as a woman to just have sex with.
And, once you’re categorized into that sex box, there’s rarely any coming back from that.
Benefits of NOT Talking About Sex
By refraining from having conversations about sex, you force a man to think about you outside of the sexual aspects.
You force the man to actually get to know YOU and see if there could be a potential relationship. And, isn’t this what we want?
You don’t want a man to start thinking of the different ways he can try to sleep with you. Keep his mind out of the gutter and force him to get to know the person in the panties! 🙂
Disclaimer: Even if your conversations about sex are general and don’t actually involve you and him having sex, you still need to steer clear of this conversation topic!
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Sex
Sex is a very intimate act that should only happen between two people that are exclusively dating and trust each other.
Aside from the fact that Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are so prevalent, it’s important that you understand what your relationship with a man is before deciding to have sex.
A lot of times, women blindly jump into having sex with a man. They don’t know where they stand or how the man really feels about them and they don’t know if the man is having sex with other women.
When you have sex with a man without knowing that he wants to be in an exclusive relationship, you become anxious and nervous about where you stand in the man’s life.
How many times have you slept with a man then spent the next days or weeks stressing about whether the man still likes you, or wants to pursue a relationship, or whether he is still sleeping with other women?
Well, you won’t have to have these types of unnerving thoughts if you wait to have sex once you have both decided to be in an exclusive relationship.
And, if a man isn’t sure whether he wants to be in a relationship with you, then he is NOT deserving of your body!!
Why Wait To Have Sex?
There are 3 main reasons why you should wait a significant amount of time before having sex with a man:
1. You need to know where a man’s head is at and what his intentions with you are, is he lusting after you for sex or is he genuinely interested in getting to know you and pursuing a relationship and possibly marriage?
2. You don’t want to get categorized as easy and, therefore, not wife material; and
3. You need to give yourself enough time to evaluate whether this man is right for you!
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Don’t Be the Late Night Creep
If you wait until you are in a committed relationship to have sex, you will also weed out a lot of men that are only chasing after you for sex.
If a man’s interest and attention in you starts to dwindle before you’ve had sex with him, then you know where his interest truly lied and you can feel confident about moving on to other prospects without looking back!
No woman wants to be used for sex or be a man’s “late night creep.”
As much as “liberated” women say they don’t mind having casual relationships with men, when they find out that man is sleeping with other women, they never feel good about it.
Lying to Yourself Never Helps
You can lie to yourself all you want, but you never want the man your having sex with to have sex with other women.
Every woman wants to feel special and know that a man doesn’t want to sleep with any other woman, but when you have sex outside of a committed relationship, you don’t have this security.
When you sleep with a man without knowing what your relationship is, you essentially forfeit your right to say that you should be the only one he is sleeping with.
I actually had a woman tell me that she only wanted a casual relationship with a guy she was dating, so she was honest with him that she was dating other men. When he happily responded that it was cool and he would see other people too, she didn’t feel good about that.
You can only fool yourself for so long! You really don’t want the man you’re dating to sleep with other women.
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Don’t Get Labeled As “Just Sex”
If you have sex with a man too soon, he will label you as “just sex” and there won’t be a potential for a relationship. Once you’re labeled as just a person to just have sex with, there really is no possibility of being considered relationship material by that man.
The woman a man wants to be in a relationship with does not easily give up her body. And, if you give up your body easily for him, he will think you do it for every man.
Even if you felt a crazy deep connection with a man and thought the feelings were mutual, if you sleep with him too soon, he’ll still think that’s how you are with every other man.
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But He Says He Doesn’t Judge
If a man tells you that he won’t judge you for sleeping with him early on, DON’T believe it! A lot of times, men will tell you what you need to hear to drop your panties. He doesn’t actually believe what he is selling you.
When you jump right into sex, you essentially tell a man you are okay having sex with him and not being in a committed relationship.
When you do this, a man won’t be any more motivated to get in an exclusive relationship with you because he already has the best of both worlds.
He gets to sleep with you and probably get treated like a boyfriend without ever having to commit to you AND he still gets to sleep with other women! A win win situation for him and a big lose for you!
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Do You Know If He’s Right For You?
You definitely shouldn’t be having sex with a man that you don’t know well.
If you’re interested in being in a relationship and you have sex with a man too soon, you wouldn’t know whether this is the type of man you would want to be in a relationship with and you may regret having sex with him after the fact.
While you may think you know someone based on the superficial things you’ve learned about them, you really don’t start to see who people really are until months into dating.
Don’t shortchange yourself by having sex too soon just to discover that this isn’t the type of man you would want in your life.
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For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee!
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Where has Courtship Really Gone??
The reality is, men don’t want a woman that is 100% available to them when they first meet and in the early dating stages. Men really do love to chase a woman. But why is courtship nearly extinct?
So many women are giving away their cookies for, pretty much, nothing and making it extremely easy for men to use and discard them.
Majority of the time, the man hasn’t taken the women out and courted her the way that he should, and he hasn’t even agreed to be in an exclusive relationship with the woman.
But, us women devalue ourselves, feeling that it’s okay that the guy doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship with us or that he wants to continue dating other people and still see you!
Or if he refuses to put legitimate effort into dating and courting you, you rationalize it by saying, “Well he’s paying back a lot of student loans.”
Or ” he’s starting his own business so he doesn’t have much spending money” or maybe you said the time old “he just doesn’t make much money, so I can’t expect him to use any money to take me out.”
But the truth is, you want a man that feels strongly enough about you that he’ll let his money get a little tight just to put a smile on your face.
Once we devalue ourselves, so do men. We have to show men that we will not give up our cookies and treat them like a boyfriend or husband when they can’t even go out of their way to do the standard courteous things a man is supposed to do for a woman he just starts to date.
Men have it all now a days. They can have their cake and eat it too! They can sleep with as many women as they want and have each and every one of those women catering to the man and doing for him, basically, what a girlfriend or wife does for her man.
Women outnumber men and because we feel that scarcity of the availability of “good men” or just men period, we compromise every last thing we want in a man and in a relationship just so we can finally say that we have a “boyfriend” or “husband.”
So what do we do about this dating dilemma that plagues our society?
Well, we as women have to get it together as a whole. It’s hard to get respect as one woman when every other woman allows themselves to be disrespected or taken advantage of by men.
Its almost like the standard is that most men WILL disrespect you in some way when you’re first dating!
And you, as the woman, have to let him know that you will not tolerate being disrespected. This way you get the respect that you rightfully deserve!
So, if us women could come together and collectively decide that we will not allow any men to treat us with anything less than respect and courtesy, then men as a whole will start to treat us more respectively.
But, we ALL have to put our foot down. If many of us still allow men to disrespect us, take advantage us, or make us “the other women,” then men will glady accept that and continue to expect that from many of us!!
For more on this subject and to hear the male perspective on this topic, please tune into my podcast at http://www.deesdatingdiary.podomatic.com or you can download this episode here: Download episode
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Dee's Dating Diary 