Ideally, we all want to go out on a new date and make a great connection. We’d love to immediately “click” with the other person and hit it off!
But, not everyone is meant to make a connection that, ultimately, sparks a great relationship.
While you won’t always make a connection with new dates, there are things you can do to increase your chances of making a great connection on your next date.
The On-Hand Technology Dilemma
In this day and age, we have all become so attached to technology and our little gadgets that we often let it get in the way of fully living and enjoying the moment.
We are constantly checking our phone for texts, emails, or calls and it’s to the detriment of what we have going on in front of us.
It’s not possible to be 100% in the moment while your using or checking your phone.
And, you better believe that people can sense when you’re not “in the conversation” and this can limit the amount of effort that a person will make in trying to talk to you or connect with you.
So, with the compulsion we feel towards constantly utilizing our technology, how can we prevent this from interfering with our dates and every day life?
Turn The Technology Off
In order to increase your chances of making a genuine connection on your dates, you need to turn your technology off!
Now, I do understand that going on a date with someone new can present questions of safety, which necessitates access to your phone in case of an emergency.
However, you can put your phone on vibrate and keep it in your pocket or purse if you won’t feel compelled to pull it out the second it vibrates.
If you can’t keep yourself from checking your phone when you feel it vibrate, then you need to completely turn it off on your date or keep it in your car.
Make A Connection
It’s nearly impossible to make a connection with someone you don’t know when your face is buried in your phone.
It’s one thing if your expecting a really important phone call, in which case, you should let your date know that you’re expecting an important phone call so they won’t feel unimportant or ignored on the date.
Considering that it’s not always easy to make a connection with someone new, you have to know that regularly checking your phone will actually hurt the flow of conversation and take you “out of the moment.”
In remaining connected to the conversation, and thus, your date, you make it much easier to make a great connection.
Conversation Is A Two-Way Street
Conversation on a date is not a one-way street. It takes the effort of both people.
If your focus is on your phone and who’s texting or emailing you, you won’t be putting in the requisite amount of effort you need in order to continue the fluidity of your conversation.
Therefore, if you want to increase your chances of making a great connection on your next date, you need to turn your technology off!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Thankfully I have never been on a date where the woman I was meeting clung on to her phone but it happened to a couple of friends of mine. Imagine their surprise when my friends didn’t want to see her again… no, can’t imagine why!
I never switched my phone off, but kept it on silent. That way I know I have a message and can check it when I go to the toilet, when she goes to the toilet or to get more drinks or something. There’s a time and a place – mid-conversation is not it!
You’re certainly right! And, you make a great point that checking your phone while you or your date goes to the restroom is a much better time to do it than mid conversation. Thanks for commenting!! It’s always great getting your insight!!
I used to disagree with this, but I’ve come around. You can’t connect while distracted with other things, and there’s something about cell phones that really gets your mind out of the here and now. Most people don’t mess with their phones on a first date, but after that, pffft, who cares, out come the phones. I too have done this, but I can see how it caused me to become unfocused on my date, and same with him/me. Not good!
Exactly! You really can’t connect with a person when you’re connected to your phone! Thanks for commenting Paula!!
I experienced this once…he said it was his old boss and he was using him for a reference for a coaching job so he didn’t want to keep him waiting. I was like…ummmm you can’t just wait another hour? 20 somethings just don’t get it sometimes. We can be really dumb. I completely AGREE with this post Dee. GREAT advice.
Thanks J!! It’s great getting your feedback, as always!!
I think its quite obvious that using your phone on a date is rude. I always put mine on silent and if I forget I rectify it and appologise.
The only time I may check my phone is if they have gone to the toilet and I think that’s acceptable as long as you put it away again when they return.
Yes, it is quite rude! But, keeping your phone on silent is a great idea and if it rings during the date apologizing and silencing the phone is a great way to rectify the situation. Thanks for taking the time to comment!! I appreciate you offering your perspective!!