This week, I wanted to address a very common red flag that most younger women tend to overlook.
How many times have you had plans with a man just for him to be a “no call, no show?”
You made plans the day before or even days in advance, but when the time comes to see each other he’s not picking up his phone. And, he’s definitely not calling back.
What Does “Falling Asleep” On You Mean?
If a man stands you up and tells you the next day that he “fell asleep,” trust me, HE’S LYING!
The harsh reality is that he’s not into you at all! Men don’t fall asleep when they have plans with a woman.
Most likely, he found something better to do, maybe with another woman, or he wasn’t even in the mood to talk to you or deal with you at all.
It’s sad that some men don’t even have enough respect for a woman to call her and cancel their plans. The truth is, he shouldn’t have made plans with you in the first place.
This Won’t Be The Last Time
One thing that I can guarantee you though, if a man tells you that he fell asleep when you had plans, this won’t be the last time that he’s a “no call, no show.”
The only difference will be that each time he “disappears” on you like this, he’s excuses will get bigger and bigger.
It could go from “falling asleep” to “losing his phone” to “being sick in the hospital.”
How Do You Handle It?
When the guy you had plans with doesn’t call you or return your call, either you start worrying about his well-being OR you get pissed!
Pissed that he’s standing you up. Pissed that he doesn’t have the decency to call or cancel the date. Pissed that he put you through this (and you got all cute and everything too)!
Now, some women in this position will call the man once or twice while others will blow up his phone all night and probably leave a few voicemails or texts cursing him out.
All of that is unnecessary though! When a man stands you up, the last thing you need to do is worry about his well-being, blow up his phone, or waste your energy cursing him out!
Did You Push For The Date?
Interestingly enough though, women usually encounter these situations when they are the ones pursuing the man. Think about it.
If this has ever happened to you, were you the one that pushed the topic of getting together? Did he actually say he wanted to do something with you or did he just agree to your suggestion to meet?
It’s important not to chase men into relationships. You may get some attention from your efforts, but it may not be lasting.
Let a man go after you so that you don’t force yourself on someone that just isn’t that into you.
The next time a man “falls asleep” on you, drop him like a hot potato and never look back!!
For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve
Till Next Time,
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A guy that stands you, doesn’t deserve more of your time or attention, true. Still I do think you have every right to tell him, just once, calm and with class, it’s not decent of him. Ignoring it makes it to easy. What if non of the women he does this to, ever confronted him, it’ll seem like innocent behavior.
You make a great point, there is certainly nothing wrong with telling a man, calmly and with class, that his behavior lacked common decency. Great insight! Thanks for commenting!
Ha! If a guy ever told me he ‘fell asleep’ I’d leave things right there. Can’t be too interested if you are falling asleep before a date!
You’re right about that Girlseule! Thanks for commenting!
I agree. If I have a date I am really looking forward to, the last thing I will be is tired enough to fall asleep. Best read it that he’s just not into you and move on.
Sadly, there are flakes of both genders who use all sorts of silly excuses to get out of pre-arranged plans. It’s the nature of online dating and the “sweet shop” mentality that goes with it for some people.
There’s definitely flakes of both genders and it’s unfortunate that some people go with avoidance or silly excuses instead of honesty. Great insight, as usual! Thanks for commenting!
Partly cowardly, partly that you don’t know how somebody is going to react (them internetz dating types is all psychopaths after all!!!!!!!!). Personally I do prefer to be upfront and would rather people were upfront with me too.
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It is important not to chase a man into a relationship. Very true indeed.
Yes, and men appreciate a woman they earn, not the one who throws herself in his face constantly. Thanks for taking the time to comment!
Agree 100%. I think a romance works better, in general, if the man is more into the woman, makes an effort, and does some pursuing. I’ve been openminded and tried it the other way, but that never goes anywhere.
Very true! Although many women these days are taking the aggressive approach with men, it usually doesn’t take them far. Thanks for commenting Paula!!
I normally don’t get the “fall asleep” type of men. I get the men who are so gun ho about going out on a date and say “yes we should do this and that, or i’ll take you here and there”. I call them the “shit talkers”. However, they take their sweet old time asking me out on date. Normally, when this occurs I don’t push the subject but I’ll be the one to quickly disappear. But why do men do this, so annoying. They show interest and when it’s time for them to call the shots they will do it last minute or not at all.
Beware of the man who makes promises, but doesn’t follow through on them. This just shows you his true level of interest in you. If he really wants to take you out, he will! No excuses needed. Thanks for providing a different perspective on this. I appreciate your comments, as always!
So I just fell asleep on my girlfriend. We had plans at 5pm. The other part of the story though is that I have been on antibiotics that have been making me restless. I’ve had about 3-4 hours of sleep per night this week. Last night was my last pill and I fell asleep at noon and woke up at 9pm. I suppose I should have predicted this would happen but now I know for sure the lack of sleep was because of the medicine. I don’t believe my girlfriend of over a year has read this article but maybe she will and will get the wrong idea. Thanks for making screw ups like this harder to deal with. What do you guys think am I not into her? Do I have a mental problem for making plans that I didn’t keep? Lol
If you’ve been dating your girlfriend for over a year and the trust in your relationship hasn’t been violated before then she has no reason not to believe you. I give dating advice from a general perspective, so it won’t always encompass every last situation out there and I’m sure your girlfriend is smart enough to decipher when certain advice actually applies to her particular situation.
In the future, it may be a good idea to set an alarm before you take a nap so you never accidentally oversleep. Thanks for taking the time to read my article and comment!!
I am relieved that I read this. My intuition confirmed it, but it’s nice to have reassurance. Thank you
Thanks Cournetta! So glad you liked this post!