Book Signing At The EDGE’s Women’s Empowerment Conference in Miami

Join me on Saturday, November 18, 2017 for a book signing at The Edge’s Women’s Empowerment Conference! I will be donating 25% of my book sales from the conference to benefit EDGE children who are underprivileged and have been victimized.

During the conference, you’ll listen to, learn from, and converse with dynamic speakers who will share their take on the importance of the mind, body, and soul connection.

You’ll hear from women in the community who are proven leaders and make a personal, professional, and philanthropic difference everyday. 

All proceeds will benefit EDGE children.

Don’t miss this amazing, empowering conference! Get your tickets today– Eventbrite

Want to get my book before the conference? Buy it on Amazon today!

Let’s Talk Relationships And Dating!

 

Join me in Ft. Lauderdale, FL on Saturday, November 11, 2017 for “Let’s Talk About Relationships & Dating!”

There will be a dynamic panelist of speakers offering insight on relationships and dating. Be prepared to learn, laugh, and talk about it!

You’ll also be able to get a signed copy of my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Get your ticket today on Eventbrite!

25 Love Quotes That Will Make You Think

After years of being single or years of dealing with bad relationships, you have to make sure that you continue to love yourself and that your actions and beliefs about dating actually support a healthy, loving relationship. So here are 25 love quotes that will uplift you, make you think, and help you step into your greatness:

  1. “In finding love, I think it’s important to be patient. In being in a relationship, I think it’s important to be honest, to communicate, to respect and trust, and to strive to give more than you take.” ~ Kina Grannis
  2. “We should remember that saying ‘I love you’ is only a beginning. We need to say it, we need to mean it, and most importantly we need consistently to show it. We need to both express and demonstrate love.” ~ David A. Bednar
  3. “Love who you are, embrace who you are. Love yourself. When you love yourself, people can kind of pick up on that: they can see confidence, they can see self-esteem, and naturally, people gravitate towards you.” ~ Lilly Singh
  4. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” ~ Maya Angelou
  5. “True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.” ~ Ricardo Montalban
  6. “Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful.” ~ Zoe Kravitz
  7. “The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.” ~ Audrey Hepburn
  8. “Love yourself. It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out.” ~ Jenn Proske
  9. “Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” ~ Ann Landers
  10. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin
  11. “Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.” ~ Oscar Wilde
  12. “Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.” ~ Oscar Wilde
  13. “It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.” ~ Confucius
  14. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~ Lucille Ball
  15. “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” ~ Buddha
  16. “I think every girl needs to love herself, regardless of anything. Like if you’re having a bad day, if you don’t like your hair, if you don’t have the best family situation, whatever, you have to love yourself and you can’t do anything until you love yourself first.” ~ Julianne Hough
  17. “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” ~ Maya Angelou
  18. “The course of true love never did run smooth.” ~ William Shakespeare
  19. “I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.” ~ Pietro Aretino
  20. “Be happy with being you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks. And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else, exactly as you are.” ~ Ariana Grande
  21. “There would be no need for love if perfection were possible. Love arises from our imperfection…” ~ Eugene Kennedy
  22. “Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time.” ~ Maya Angelou
  23. “Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.” ~ Saint Augustine
  24. “When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.” ~ Mark Twain
  25. “In life, you have to take the pace that love goes. You don’t force it. You just don’t force love, you don’t force falling in love, you don’t force being in love – you just become. I don’t know how to say that in English, but you just feel it.” ~ Juan Pablo Galavis

Learn how to love yourself so that you can attract the love you really deserve, buy Picking up the Pieces today! Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Photo Credit: Photo by Bart LaRue on Unsplash

A Man’s Take On A Woman’s Dating Advice Book

I provided Andreas Michaelides of Thirsty For Health with a complementary copy of Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve in exchange for an honest review. Here’s some of what he said:

“This book is an efficient down to earth guide for women that want to stop having failed relationships. It covers a lot of issues that a woman should take into consideration and also fix in her life to be able to attract the right man into her life…

I loved the engagement the exercises offer with the reader… I am not a woman, but the philosophy can be applied to both sexes. I learned a lot about me. I did all the exercises, I had to twist the questions for men, but it was a fun thing to do. Also, the book helped me realize and understand a lot of issues I had with my ex-wife and even see and comprehend a lot of her behavior, especially her jealousy scenes…” Continue reading on Thirsty For Health

Ready to change your dating and relationship life for the better? Get your copy of Picking up the Pieces today: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Books-A-MillionSmashwords

Till Next Time,

Dee

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

The month of October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), an issue that affects women, children, and even men.

History of Domestic Violence Awareness Month

In 1989, Congress designated the month of October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month and this evolved from the “Day of Unity,” which was conceived by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and held in October of 1981.

“The intent was to connect advocates across the nation who were working to end violence against women and their children. The Day of Unity soon became an entire week devoted to a range of activities conducted at the local, state, and national level,” which had the common themes of mourning those who died because of domestic violence, celebrating those who survived, and connecting those working to end violence (National Resource Center on Domestic Violence).

Resources

Review these important safety tips regarding your use of technology: Safety Tips

There are free cell phone donation programs, shelters, and even housing assistance programs available to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. Contact your local domestic violence program, rape crisis center, or domestic violence hotline for more information about resources that are available in your area.

If you have been sexually assaulted, call the U.S. National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) and you will automatically be connected to a local U.S. rape crisis program based on the area code of your phone number. You can also contact them using a secure, online private chat.

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline today for help at 1­-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or TTY 1­-800-787-3224.

If you are in danger, please call 911.

Are Open Relationships Just About Sex?

The Urban Dictionary defines an open relationship as, “A relationship in which two people agree that they want to be together, but can’t exactly promise that they won’t see other people too. Basically, to have it all: a significant other and the freedom to hook up with other people. Common during college for many post-high school relationships.”

Survey Results

In my last post, I conducted an informal survey to see if a large amount of people are open to open relationships. This is what I found:

Of the 9 people who participated in this survey, 7 people (77.78%) said they are open to open relationships and 2 people (22.22%) said they were not open to it. Although only a few people took the survey, I was definitely expecting the results to be the other way around. This tells me that more people are open to polyamorous relationships than I initially thought.

Are Open Relationships Just About Sex?

Having a personal preference for monogamous relationships, I had to get insight from other people to find out what really makes people open to open relationships. What was surprising for me to learn was that having an open relationship is not just about being able to have sex with whoever you want, whenever you want.

While some people, including women, do feel that it isn’t realistic to have one sexual partner for the rest of their life, some people’s preference for open relationships have nothing to do with sex.

So what other reasons do people have for seeking open relationships?

Why People Want Open Relationships

Some people like open relationships because it takes pressure off of the relationship while others feel it leaves them open to meeting a better match or satisfying emotional desires that aren’t being met within the relationship.

If you find yourself in a position where you feel like you’re in love with two people at the same time, an open relationship with both people would be the most ideal path forward (not necessarily for everyone involved though). 

Some people also feel that exclusivity or monogamy has connotations of ownership and possession that they don’t want to subscribe to. These people feel that if they are in an open relationship and their partner chooses to come home to them every night, the decision to be together feels more meaningful since the option to be with other people is readily available.

There are also women who enter open relationships only because it’s what their boyfriend wants and they want to keep their boyfriend happy in order to keep the relationship going. 

Is There Jealousy In Open Relationships?

Canvassing people’s opinions on open relationships has been very enlightening, but it ultimately left me with this question: how prevalent is jealousy in open relationships and can it be resolved without resorting back to a monogamous relationship? 

Let me know your thoughts below and your reasons for preferring monogamous or polyamorous relationships.

Till Next Time,

Dee

P.S. Looking for results-driven dating advice? Check out my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You DeserveAmazon | Barnes & Noble 

Photo Credit: Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

Dee’s Dating Diary Will Return October 7, 2017 Due To Hurricane Irma

Due to Hurricane Irma, Dee’s Dating Diary will return on Saturday, October 7, 2017.

Survey: Are You Open To Open Relationships?

 

Open relationships have become much more prevalent. While they used to be an underground kind of thing, more and more people are being open about the fact that they’re in an open relationship.

With open relationships on the climb, I wonder how many people are really open to the open relationship. Be sure to answer the survey above and we’ll discuss the results next week!

Till Next Time,

Dee

P.S. Looking for honest dating advice without the sugar-coating? Check out my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve — Amazon | Barnes & Noble

YES! Women on the Rise


I’m so honored to be recognized by YES! Women on the Rise in the their Friday Feature! The purpose of YES (Young, Educated, and Successful) is to encourage and accelerate the development of young women on the rise.

This year, YES! is hosting an exclusive and intimate brunch with top influential women in business, health, and entertainment. You’ll be able to hear from industry leaders on the essentials of becoming not only a Boss, but a Leader!

If you’re in the Atlanta, GA area on Saturday, September 24, 2017, come out for this inspiring and empowering event! Reserve Your Spot

Why Consistency Is The Most Important Characteristic To Look For When Dating

When you’re dating, one of the most important things to look for in a man is consistency. Consistency is truly key!

What Is Consistency?

Consistency in dating basically means that a man’s behavior with you remains the same for as long as you date. 

For example, if you’re dating a man and you see him every weekend for a month then you suddenly only see him randomly on weekdays, this is inconsistent behavior and, therefore, a red flag. If you talk on the phone everyday then only speak only a few times a week or only exchange texts here and there, this behavior is inconsistent and tells you that this man won’t be a long-term partner.

Consistency in dating also includes consistency between a man’s words (what he tells you) and his actions (what he is actually doing). For example, if a man says he is going to call you tomorrow and doesn’t, there’s no consistency between his words and actions.

If a man’s words aren’t consistent with his actions, this lets you know that his words are lies and can’t be relied on. Remember, men’s actions will always tell you how they truly feel about you! A man who is consistent is a man who can be trusted and relied upon. A man who is inconsistent or wishy-washy can’t be trusted and you’ll regularly have the feeling that you don’t know where you stand with this guy.

One day you’ll talk to him and hear all the things you want to hear and you’ll feel great, thinking he definitely wants you in his life. Then the next day (when you haven’t heard from him) you’ll feel like you’re right back to square one, wondering if he really does want to continue progressing towards a serious relationship.

The Negative Effect Of Dating Inconsistent Men

Dating inconsistent men can give you the false feeling that you are in love or quickly falling in love. You’ll develop strong feelings for these types of men, not because you are actually falling in love with the man, but simply because you are on an emotional roller coaster ride with them (Check out my post Are You In Love Or On An Emotional Roller Coaster). 

When you are constantly having to wonder and worry about where you stand with a man or when he will see or speak to you next, it unconsciously makes you feel more attached to the person because you are stressing out about them. It’s not strong genuine feelings that you’re cultivating, it’s just a strong desire for continued attention, and validation or confirmation that dating each other is going somewhere.

In the moments that he’s texting you and whispering sweet-nothings in your ear, you feel amazing, beautiful, loved, and cherished. However, when days go by, in the absence of communication, you feel forgotten, deserted, undesired, insecure, and so much more.

Going from these extreme emotional highs to extreme emotional lows is what builds unhealthy attachments to these men and, consequently, we often mistake this artificial attachment as genuine feelings of love and adoration.

Is His Attention Fleeting?

I recently heard this saying “when a guy burns hot, he extinguishes fast,” and I definitely agree with it to a certain extent. Most of the time, when a man comes on really strong and tries to “lay it on thick,” it’s usually fleeting attention that doesn’t last because his aim is simply to quickly move you to the bedroom.

With this in mind, it’s always a great idea to take your time in getting to know a man and pace the dating so that you don’t get wrapped up in any guy’s facade and you give him enough time to let his true colors show.

If you’ve been dating a man whose communication seems to be dwindling, it’s probably not because he is suddenly busy all the time. When a man’s attention is fleeting, it’s because they’ve lost interest or they never really had interest in pursuing a serious relationship in the first place.

How Inconsistency Gets Manifested As Gut Instincts

I’m constantly talking about how important it is to trust your gut instinct. As much as it can be hard to trust ourselves, you should always listen to what your gut tells you.

Your gut instinct will actually kick in when a man is not consistent with you. If he tells you one thing, but his actions say something completely different, you’ll get that gut feeling that something isn’t right.

However, most women tend to write off their gut feelings that something isn’t right, just to learn much later down the line that they really should have paid more attention to it.

How To Weed Out Inconsistent Men When Dating

As a woman, it’s your job to determine whether a man is being truthful and honest in his feelings for you and you accomplish this by paying attention to his words, actions, and your own gut instincts. The days of letting men sell you the dream are over!

You can no longer just listen to the sweet words that men tell you and think that it is the sole indicator of their true interest in you or love for you. You have to start dating consciously so that you can recognize when a man’s behavior is not consistent with what he tells you. This will allow you to make an informed decision when deciding whether to continue pursuing a relationship with a man you’re dating.

For more great dating advice, grab my new book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve — Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Atlanta Book Signing At The 2017 AKISAN National Convention

Do you live in or near Atlanta, Georgia? Join me on Saturday, August 19, at the 2017 AKISAN National Convention for a book signing from 3pm-5pm. This year’s convention is being held at the Atlanta Marriott Marquis located at 265 Peachtree Center Ave NE, Atlanta, GA 30303. 

About AKISAN

The Akwa Ibom State Association of Nigeria (AKISAN) is a non-profit organization that is devoted to improving the Akwa Ibom community both at home and abroad. Founded in 1968, AKISAN has intervened in areas such as education, health, water supply, sanitation, and so much more.

 
They not only identify problems affecting the community, but they also roll up their sleeves and tackle these problems through awareness, sensitization, and the provision of basic amenities to communities that so desperately need them. 

Here, in the United States, AKISAN has been involved in volunteer services in various cities. Members  have donated time and resources in soup kitchens in Washington DC, Houston, Phoenix, Chicago, and more. In 2016, AKISAN donated batches of water to residents of Flint, Michigan during the city-wide pollution crisis.

Education

AKISAN’s educational initiatives have included the granting of scholarships to needy students, refurbishing schools, providing mentorship to children in need of role models, and donating computers, books, and other educational materials.

Water

AKISAN has built and commissioned several rural water projects to provide clean drinking water for communities in Akwa Ibom State Nigeria. These initiatives ease the stress of rural dwellers who still have to fetch water from streams, ponds, and other sources of water that aren’t healthy for them.

Health

AKISAN members have conducted medical missions in rural communities in Akwa Ibom State as well as South America. They also delivered medications, equipment, and supplies to hospitals and health centers and have organized educational campaigns on the need for childhood immunizations and safe-sex to prevent transmission of HIV/AIDS.

About The Convention

AKISAN’s annual national convention consists of cultural displays, musical performances, brainstorming sessions, beauty pageants, fundraising, and much more.

Come out to support an organization that is truly making a difference and get a signed copy of my new book Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love And Relationship You Deserve —  Amazon | Barnes & Nobles 
Photo Credit: Akisan.org

This Is Why You’re Attracted To Bad Boys

When you come across that bad boy you feel attracted to, what is it that piques your interest in him? Do you know what’s at the root of your attraction?

Why You’re Attracted To Bad Boys

There’s no one size fits all answer to why you date bad boys, but there are a few common reasons that might apply to you. Perhaps you enjoy the thrill of the bad boy lifestyle or maybe you have a habit of dating emotionally unavailable men.

For some women, low self-esteem at the root of dating bad boys because the attention they receive from the bad boy makes them feel better about themselves.

You may even be attracted to bad boys because of your own misperception and misunderstanding about men’s behavior or personality. Several years ago, I read a really interesting article that said women are attracted to bad boys because their arrogance is mistaken for confidence.

Mistaking Arrogance For Confidence

Basically, you might perceive a bad boy as having a high level of confidence, which is a very strong attraction point when it comes to dating. Whether you’re a man or a woman, confidence is sexy, period.

No one wants to date an insecure person who constantly needs pacifying and reassurance. The reality is, a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence is definitely a turn off.

With bad boys being arrogant and cocky by nature, they display what seems to be great self-confidence when in actuality they’re just arrogant. What’s actually pulling you in is not the bad boy’s true confidence, it’s his boastful, cocky, and arrogant nature.

In this respect, your attraction to bad boys is purely based on mis-perceiving their arrogance for confidence.

Ready To Let Go Of The Bad Boy?

When you consider all of this, it makes perfect sense that you might want to date a bad boy. But, now that you know why you may have been attracted to bad boys, will you continue to date them?

Knowing the basis of your attraction to certain types of man is the starting point for change, but you first have to want the change yourself if you’re going to do anything differently.

So, are you ready to stop dating bad boys? 

For more great dating advice, check out my new book — Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. Available on: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Photo by Annette Sousa on Unsplash

15 Signs You’ll Never Be His Girlfriend

Today, it’s become harder and harder for some women to decipher their place in a man’s life. They aren’t sure how to define the relationship or don’t know if what they have is a relationship at all.

It’s not uncommon to see a woman give some guy months or even years of her attention just to learn down the line that he never wanted anything that was more than casual.

Communication Is Key

If you find yourself in an awkward space where you don’t know if you’re in a relationship or dating towards having a serious relationship, the best thing to do is to have an open, honest conversation with the person you’re dating to see if you’re on the same page as far as pursuing a relationship.

I think it’s important to note though, that some men will be very vague and obscure when having the “what are we” conversation. Some men don’t want to lose the great situationship they have with you, but also don’t want to be in an exclusive relationship with you either.

So, they will try to keep you in limbo for as long as possible so they can delay getting to the point of having to seriously commit to you or break things off.

Signs You’ll Never Be His Girlfriend

If you’ve talked about your situationship, but feel like you didn’t get clarity or only feel more confused, consider the following signs to determine whether you might be your guy’s next serious girlfriend or just his late night creep:

1. He Never Spends More Than 3-4 Hours With You

2. He’s Always “Too Busy” To Make Real Plans With You

3. He Never Takes You Out In Public

4. He Only Hangs Out With You After 9pm 

5. All You Do Is Netflix And Chill

6. He Says He Doesn’t Believe in Using Labels (until you see him calling someone else his fiancé a few years later)

7. He Doesn’t Let You Meet His Friends Or Family And Avoids Yours

8. He Pretends Like He’s Alone When Someone Calls Him And Asks What He’s Doing

9. He’s A Ghost When You’re On Your Period And Resurfaces When It’s Over

10. You Only Hear From Him Once or Twice A Week Or Only A Few Times A Month

11. He Rejected Your Facebook Friend Request

12. He Lies And Says He Doesn’t Have A Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat Account

13. He Won’t Commit To Any Future Plans With You (i.e. vacations, trips, weddings, events, etc.)

14. He Says He’s Not “Ready” For A Relationship

15. He Says He Likes The Situationship Just The Way It Is

If you discuss going out in public or becoming more than what you are now and your guy says he likes things just the way they are, he isn’t “ready” for a relationship, or doesn’t think you guys need to define what you are, you’re never going to be in a real relationship with this man and it’s best that you cut your losses and move on, if this isn’t what you want.

For more great dating advice, check out my new book — Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. Available on: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash

Ready To Give Someone You “FriendZoned” A Real Chance?

Are you ready to go from friendship to relationship?

A Major Cable Network is casting for a fun new show about single people interested in taking a friendship to the next level – or friends with marriage pacts for a certain age/milestone. 

The basic premise of the show is that the friends try being in a relationship for 30 days. During that time, they will be provided with a series of compatibility exercises designed to determine if they were really meant to be together…or if they should remain as friends. 

If you’re interested in being on the show, submit an application today!

On your application, you can say you were referred by Dee Simone (I am not receiving any compensation or anything of value for my referrals or sharing this posting).

Happy Dating,

Dee Simone

P.S. Don’t forget to check out my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Photo Credit: Photo by Nathan Walker on Unsplash

6 Dating Tips For Nice Guys Who Don’t Want To Finish Last

We’ve all heard the saying, “Nice guys finish last.” But if you read my post Why Nice Guys Finish Last (and it’s not because they aren’t bad boys), you understand that nice guys have more control over whether they finish last than they realize. To help further this, I want to discuss 6 important dating tips for nice guys who don’t want to finish last:

1. Resist The Clinging Impulse

We definitely can’t ignore the fact that some nice guys have a tendency to come off as needy or clingy and if you’re a nice guy doing this, you really have to scale this back. When you meet a woman, your initial communications are crucial and it’s important that you don’t overwhelm or suffocate a new love interest.

If you’re not sure whether you’re giving women the needy vibe, check out my post 8 Signs You’re Dating A Needy GuyAlthough you may have good intentions at heart, many women are not attracted to men who are needy, clingy, or need an overwhelming amount of attention.

If you send a woman a text message, don’t send 4 or 5 more texts back to back before getting a response from the first one. Or maybe you’re guilty of getting off the phone with a woman and then immediately texting her to continue the conversation. Calling a woman a second time in the same day when she hasn’t returned your first call is another great way to get boxed into the clingy category.

The harsh reality is that if you don’t immediately get a response from your text or call, you have to exercise patience and just wait for a response. If you never get one, don’t send a flurry of texts or blow up her cell.

You have to take the situation for what it is, she’s just not that into you. And that’s okay because every woman isn’t going to be right for you and a woman’s disinterest gives you the freedom and ability to find that woman who is right for you. Take it as a blessing that you don’t have to spend weeks and months dating a woman who isn’t going to be around long-term and only feels lukewarm about you at best.

Which brings me to my next tip… 

2. Let Feelings Develop Naturally

It’s important that you avoid being needy or clingy so that things can develop naturally over time. I know some men will say that holding themselves back isn’t authentic and that they should be able to fully be themselves with a woman. But, no one is asking you not to be yourself. I’m just saying that you can’t try to latch onto someone too quickly.

You have to take your time because you can’t force a woman to fall in love with you by suffocating her. 

3. Women Need Time To Reflect

Most women need space and time to reflect and think about, and even fantasize about, the person they’re dating. They need to think about the conversations you’ve had, the moments you’ve enjoyed together on dates, and other things.

The act of thinking about you is where the feelings and emotions start to develop. But, if you don’t give a woman some space and time to let yourself pop into her head naturally, she’s not going to fall for you the way you want her to.

You want a woman to want to hear your voice, but if she’s hearing your voice several times a day right after she meets you, she’s probably not going to get to that point. So it’s really important that you allow there to be space for the feelings to grow and develop. 

And, I hope you nice guys can see that slowing down and pacing yourself when you’re dating or trying to date a woman has nothing to do with not being yourself. 

4. Build Your Confidence 

For some nice guys it’s their lack of self-confidence that keeps them from getting women. It’s not just you men that like to date confident people. Women like confident men too. And, just like guys can spot insecurity in women, women can spot insecurity in men as well.

The reality is, a lack of self-confidence is a turn off. So you have to work through your insecurities and build up your self-confidence so that you can be more attractive to women. 

This is how it works for many of us women– You could have a man that’s a 7, but his personality and confidence brings him up to a 10. So, once you build your confidence, you’ll actually feel more comfortable letting your full personality shine through and you’ll ultimately be more attractive to women in the long run.

5. Never Lead With Your Financial Foot

Some nice guys are guilty of using their financial resources to win a woman over or make her fall in love with him. However, leading with your financial foot will only draw the wrong kind of women into your life.

If you feel like you have to shower a woman with gifts and throw your money around for her to like you, then she’s really not the right woman for you and she’ll probably only stick around for as long as you continue to throw that money around. 

6. Be Mindful Of The Women You Chase

To their detriment, some nice guys have a habit of chasing after women who like the “bad boys.” Unfortunately, in the end, with this type of woman, you’re going to lose every time. You will surely get your heart broken in your efforts to show this kind of woman a real, amazing, and healthy love.  

Women who love bad boys have to mature and get to a certain mental state before they can walk away from their bad boy loving lifestyle. Picking an evolved, mature, self-confident (not arrogant) woman is how nice guys can finish first! This is the kind of woman who will always appreciate you for who you are and never take you for granted.

So, instead of trying to convert this woman into a nice guy loving dater, look for the woman who has already evolved past the point of being interested in a bad boy. This is the woman who will appreciate  you, love you, and never take you for granted. This is where you will flourish! 

For more great insight into the female mind and experience, check out my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You DeserveAmazon | Barnes & Noble

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

How Do You Define Sexy?

What’s sexy to one person may not necessarily be sexy to another person. Some women find beards attractive while others don’t. When you think of a sexy man, what comes to mind? Is it a man in a fitted suit? A rugged outdoorsy type in a plaid shirt and jeans? Or is it something different altogether?

For some, sexy is exuded through personality while for others it can be a combination of appearance and personality. 

It’s always good to understand the type of man you’re attracted to and what sexy means to you, especially if your type is the “bad boy.” And, we all know what that looks like! 

So, what does sexy mean to you? How do you define it? Let me know in the comments below!

Till Next Time,

Dee

Need help identifying what your Mr. Right looks like? Get my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve — Amazon | Barnes & Noble 

 Image courtesy of Alexisdc at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Don’t Miss Comedians Mzzz Kecia & Hunter Sandlin At Wine, Dine, & Book Sign – A Single’s Event


It’s happening right now– Wine, Dine, & Book Sign – A Single’s Event

Memphis comedians Mzzz Kecia and Hunter Sandlin will be stopping by at 8:30 to make you laugh until your stomach hurts.

Come enjoy the comedy show, music, and complimentary wine and food. There will also be a great prize for whoever is able to win our icebreaker game of the night.

Hope to see you soon!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone 

How Instant Gratification Is Keeping You From The Love Of Your Life

 If you knew that you were going to meet the love of your life at age 45 or 50, how would this affect your dating life right now? Would you let yourself enter a relationship or get married to Mr. Right Now (also known as Mr. Wrong) because you’re tired of waiting for Mr. Right to come along?

Instant Gratification Vs. Long-Term Happiness

As women, we often have this flawed habit of seeking instant gratification over long-term happiness and viability in a relationship.

What I mean is– when we are dating Mr. Wrong and things start going badly or breaking up is an option that’s on the table, we start thinking about what we will lose or how we will be deprived of affection or companionship or something else if we decide to end things.

This is usually done in place of evaluating whether the man we’re dating is really right for us and contributes to having a positive, healthy, loving relationship.

And so, in fear of losing a companion, being alone, or dealing with the current dating world, we give ourselves instant gratification by staying with Mr. Wrong so we can still have a warm body next to us and not worry about finding a man who is any better.

Why Instant Gratification Is Alluring

Instant gratification is appealing because it immediately satisfies some desire that we have, whether it’s having someone to cuddle at night, being able to say you have a boyfriend, or continuing to reap the financial benefits of dating a wealthy man.

Instant gratification provides instant happiness, but it’s not true, internal happiness and, therefore, it’s not a lasting happiness.

Instant gratification can also be deceiving because those immediate good feelings that come with it can falsely make you feel as though you have made the right decision. But, time will prove otherwise.

The problem is, those happy, content feelings you get from this instant gratification of staying with Mr. Wrong doesn’t last. And eventually the negative feelings you previously harbored start to creep back up, the behavior you were unhappy with starts to rear its ugly head again, and you’re brought back to the very same spot you were before where you to had to contemplate whether the relationship was really worth continuing.

Unfortunately, for many women this is a vicious cycle that’s repeated constantly throughout our lives.

Focus On Your Long-Term Happiness

Instead of focusing on instant gratification, you need to focus on your long-term happiness when you’re evaluating a potential partner or considering whether you should stay with a boyfriend.

Remember, the path you go down if you stay with or marry Mr. Wrong can keep you from meeting Mr. Right. So, is Mr. Right Now worth missing out on the amazing love you could have with your Mr. Right? Probably not!

Keep this in mind the next time you decide to give your problematic boyfriend another chance.

For more great dating advice, check out my new book — Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. Available on: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Till Next Time,

Dee

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Help! How Do I Turn Down A Second Date Without Getting Insulted?

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

I went on one date with a guy I met online, but I just wasn’t feeling him. He not only looked older than he said he was in his online profile, but he also talked about himself for the ENTIRE date. It really bothered me that he wasn’t asking me questions about myself or trying to get to know me at all.

A couple of days after our first date he texted me asking to go out again. This was our conversation:

Him: Hey! Are you busy on Saturday? Let’s go out!

Me: I have to be honest I didn’t feel a connection on the date but maybe we can be friends?

Him: I’ve been dating four beautiful women from the dating site, but you seemed to be the most intelligent so I wanted to give it a try, but friends is perfect.

Him: I doubt you make connections with any men.

Me: lol ok. I know I’m beautiful too but thanks for the intelligence compliment. Why would you say I don’t make connections with any men?

Him: Because you’re dry and seem like a lesbian.

Me: No response.

(5 minutes later)

Him: You’re also not feminine enough for men to be attracted to you.

Me: No response.

(30 minutes later)

Him: And I didn’t say you weren’t beautiful. You said that so that’s your thoughts about yourself.

Me: No response.

(10 min later)

Him: I’m cool with being friends though.

Me: No response.

(Next Day)

Him: When do you want to get together again friend?

Me: No response.

I’m actually very feminine and I’ve never had a problem with men not being attracted to me. I get hit on by men all the time, the problem is the types of men that I meet. I know this guy was lashing out at me because he was angry that I didn’t want to see him again so how can I let guys down without getting bashed afterwards?

Dear Dater,

I want to start off by saying this guy is a huge jerk! You did nothing wrong in the way that you let this guy down and it’s a good thing that you stopped responding to his texts instead of letting the situation blow up into something bigger.

Ultimately, you were honest and he tried to make you feel bad about yourself and your ability to attract men simply because you didn’t want to continue dating him. How ridiculous!

In my opinion, you’re actually very lucky because you dodged a huge bullet here! This man sounds like he has a lot of emotional issues he needs to work out. When a person’s first instinct is to hurt you in a situation like this, it’s a red flag.

How To Stop The Bashing

Sadly, you’re not alone in this. There are many women who have had similar experiences where they let a guy know they aren’t interested in him and the guy hurls insults in return.

But to answer your question, in general, there’s nothing you can do to stop a man from bashing you after you end things. You really can’t control how a man will react or respond to you not wanting to go on another date.

What you can control, however, is how you feel. If you let these kind of men make you feel bad about yourself, they win. You need to let their words roll off of you because, at the end of the day, they really don’t know you anyway.

How To Break Up

When you no longer want to continue dating a person, the best thing to do is just be honest. If you weren’t feeling a connection or chemistry, it’s okay to say that. It’s also okay to say that you don’t think you are compatible.

When you break up with someone you’ve only been on a few dates with, it’s always best to keep it short and simple. Of course, the longer you date someone or once you’ve entered an exclusive relationship, the bigger your obligation is to give your boyfriend or girlfriend a full and complete explanation of why you want to break up.

But after just one or two dates, all you can really say is, “I’m sorry, you seem like a nice person, but I just don’t feel a connection.”

How Not To Break Up

What you don’t want to do when you break up with someone is be hurtful, spiteful, rude, antagonistic, have attitude, or unnecessarily point fingers. And it doesn’t look like you did any of this here.

Overall, I think you handled this situation well and your explanation for not wanting to go out on another date was short, appropriate, and to the point. 

The real problem here is that some men can’t handle rejection well. Unfortunately, you could have the best break up line, but for some of the men you date it won’t matter at all. Some men will try to hurt your feelings because they feel hurt by the fact that you’re not interested in them.

Insults or Constructive Feedback?

It’s also important for you to be able to distinguish between hurtful, venom-filled insults and constructive criticism or feedback. Constructive feedback is always good, but that is not what you got from this guy. He couldn’t take your rejection so he insulted you. Don’t let yourself feel bad for that. 

You should definitely continue being honest about why you don’t want to keep dating a man and if a man reacts by insulting you or trying to hurt your feelings, just take it as a reassuring sign that this was not the right man for you!

For more great dating advice, check out my new book — Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. Available on: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

20 Questions You Should Never Ask A Woman On A First Date

When you meet someone you’re attracted to, there’s usually a natural desire to know more about that person. The problem is, some people have a difficult time understanding the difference between appropriate and inappropriate first date questions.

On the other hand, we can’t ignore the fact that some people knowingly ask offensive questions and just don’t care about whether their date feels comfortable or not.

Make Your Date Feel Comfortable

In order to improve our dating experiences, we need to make sure that we aren’t unnecessarily offending the person we are attracted to. Our dates should feel comfortable and at ease, not on guard waiting for the next insulting question.

You actually decrease your chance of making a great connection with a date when you ask them judgmental questions or questions that force your date to talk about something they aren’t ready to discuss with you.

So, to help your initial encounters with women, I want to share some questions that you should never let leave your lips. The following are 20 real life questions that men have asked women on or before a first date:

1. Why are you single?

2. Are you paying for the date?

3. How old are you?

4. Can I come back to your place or do you want to come back to mine?

5. Is that your real hair?

6. You’re not one of those crazy girls are you?

7. How much do you weigh?

8. Do you have daddy issues?

9. How much do you cost?

10. Do you want to go a to fancy restaurant? (Then takes you to Wendy’s)

11. Can you do a split?

12. What are you mixed with?

13. Can I borrow $1,000? (Or any amount of money)

14. Do you like your feet licked?

15. Are your breasts real?

16. What’s your bra size?

17. What are you cooking me for dinner?

18. How much do you make?

19. Have you cheated on your past boyfriends?

20. Do you know how to use those lips?

Some of these questions clearly indicate that you’re only interested in a casual encounter, i.e. sex. But if you’re genuinely interested in a woman and want to get to know her better these are not the kinds of questions you should ask early on.

Offending a woman on a first date is a sure-fire way to never get a second one so think wisely before asking very personal questions that may make a woman feel uncomfortable around you.

Want additional insight into women’s minds? Check out my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve — Barnes & Noble | Amazon

Till Next Time,

Dee

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Help! He Got My Number Then Asked If I Could Have Kids!

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

After a few messages on an online dating website, I gave my number to this really good-looking man. He called me almost immediately and the conversation started off normal enough. However, barely ten minutes into our conversation he asks me, “can you have kids?”

I was so shocked I couldn’t even speak for a moment. After a few seconds I said, “Why would you ask me that??” He said that because he wants to have children he needs to make sure that the woman he dates can have kids.

I told him that it’s obvious from my young age that I can have kids, but that I felt very uncomfortable and uneasy from the question and would feel bad for the woman who has to answer “yes” and explain something very sensitive and personal to a perfect stranger. I said the question was inappropriate and something he shouldn’t ask a woman until he gets to know her well.

At this point, he got defensive and said I should only be offended if I couldn’t actually have kids, but since I can it shouldn’t be a big deal. He had completely turned me off and I was repulsed by him altogether. I eventually ended the conversation and I don’t plan on talking to him ever again. Am I wrong for writing him off?

Dear Dater,

Wow! What a horrible question to ask a woman during the first phone call. You shouldn’t have been subjected to this question so early on and this guy clearly lacks manners and common sense. Whether or not a woman can have kids is a very touchy subject and no woman should have to explain to a man she doesn’t know why she can’t have children.

Although this man says he wants kids and, therefore, needs to ensure he dates a woman who can have kids, this was the wrong way to go about it and he lost a good prospect because of his inappropriateness and lack of consideration of your feelings.

At the end of the day, you shouldn’t feel bad about not talking to this man ever again. Don’t worry I’ll explain why.

Do You Want A Man Who Listens To Your Concerns?

You see, you actually voiced your feelings and let this man know that you felt uncomfortable and offended by his question and instead of hearing you out to understand where you are coming from and apologize for his insensitive question, he tried to convince you that you shouldn’t be offended at all because you can have kids.

Here’s where this man’s thinking is flawed: A question isn’t offensive based on the response a person may give. Certain questions are just offensive on their own no matter what someone’s response may be. 

Since this guy wouldn’t hear you out or try to understand your perspective and instead wrote your feelings off, he’s not the man for you!

Every woman needs a companion who will not only hear her feelings and concerns, but who will also not try to convince her that she is wrong for feeling offended. You want to date a man who can recognize and acknowledge that he has done or said something inappropriate after you explain why something is wrong.

The man who thinks he can do or say no wrong is a dangerous man to date!

For more great dating advice and tips for being safe while dating, check out my new book Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve Amazon | Barnes & Noble.

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Wine, Dine, & Book Sign – A Single’s Event

Flyer

Are you single and looking for love?

Join me on Saturday, July 1, 2017 at the Lily Roze Studio in downtown Memphis for a single’s night you won’t want to miss!

Come out to mix and mingle with other amazing single Memphians while you enjoy the music, wine, food, and ice breakers. 

You can also get a personalized, signed copy of my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Complimentary wine and finger foods will be provided! Space is limited so register for this FREE single’s event today: Eventbrite 

Can’t wait to meet some of you there!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Help! Do I Need To Ask All My Dates If They’re Single?

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

I met this great man and we immediately hit it off. We talked for almost an hour before exchanging numbers. During that conversation he mentioned that he had been divorced for years and didn’t want to get married again, but I was okay with that because I’m not sure that I really want to get married either. I just know I want a great life companion.

Cut to 2 days later. He calls me and we talk for a couple of minutes before he says, “Well, I just wanted to say hello and see how you were doing while I was driving home from work… You know, since I can’t text and drive.”

This gave me a funny feeling because it felt like he was implying that he couldn’t talk once he got home, which then made me think that he had a girlfriend at home. So, I mustered up the courage and asked, “are you single??” My heart sank when he said, “No, but I’m not married so technically I am single.”

Then he said, “I wanted to be upfront and honest with you about that because you seem like a good person.” Disgusted, I ended the conversation saying thanks for being honest, but I have to go. Just when I think I’ve met a great man, he turns out to have a girlfriend! It’s very frustrating! So, my question to you Dee is:

Do I really have to ask every man I go out with whether he is single or not? I feel like this guy would have dated me until he got caught if I never asked…

Dear Dater,

I just want to start by saying I’m sorry that you felt you had a great connection with a man who turned out to be in a relationship. You definitely shouldn’t beat yourself up over this.

While he should have been honest about the fact that he had a girlfriend, as a single woman it’s not a bad idea to ask the men you go out with if they’re single or not. Although some men will still lie in order to cheat on their girlfriends, not asking may produce more situations like these.

Trust Your Gut Instincts

Now, if you’re a great judge of character and can easily spot inconsistencies that quickly let you know a man is dating another woman, you may not need to ask this question (and that does seem to be the case with you since you sniffed this guy out pretty quickly).

I think the most important thing to take away from this situation is that you should always trust your gut instincts. Here, your gut said something wasn’t right because a man should want to talk to you in his home, not rush you off the phone before he gets there.

This feeling of something being off is what you always want to pay attention to because ignoring it can easily lead to you getting your heart broken. So, while you may encounter some dishonesty on your quest to finding real love, don’t make it any easier for men to deceive you by avoiding questions you feel inclined to ask.

Was He REALLY A Great Man?

Also, you call this guy a “great man,” but how is he great? Just because you felt like you “clicked” with him doesn’t negate the fact that this is a deceptive person. For all you know, he was putting on an act from the moment you met him in order to win you over and cheat on his girlfriend.

Don’t make yourself feel worse about this situation by wrongly classifying this man as a great person you connected with.

All in all, you did the right thing. By paying attention to your gut, identifying a serious red flag, and addressing it immediately, you ultimately prevented yourself from falling head over heels for a cheating philanderer.

Always trust your gut instincts because they’ll never lead you in the wrong direction!

For more great dating advice, check out my new book Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve Amazon | Barnes & Noble.

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Curvy & Fancy Empowerment Show

I’m so excited to share that I’ll be speaking at the Curvy & Fancy Empowerment Show in Atlanta, GA on Saturday, June 3rd. If you live in Atlanta or will be in town for the weekend, you won’t want to miss this event!

Join me for a fabulous fashion show, art, and inspiration!

Get your tickets here: Eventbrite

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Need Dating Advice? Get A Free Consultation With Dee The Dating Coach!

Do you need dating or relationship advice?

The first 15 people to contact me using the contact form below will get a free dating or life coaching session with me. See for yourself how a one-on-one session can help improve your dating and everyday life!

Want great dating advice you can keep on hand? Get my new book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Help! We Had A Great First Date, But He Hasn’t Called Since

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

I had a great first date with this guy, but almost a week has gone by and he hasn’t called or texted me. I thought we made a good connection and were into each other, but now I’m starting to feel like I was wrong.

What does it mean if he hasn’t contacted me in days? Does he not want to see me again? Did I do something wrong? I will admit our date was a Netflix and chill night and he tried to make a few moves on me, but I didn’t sleep with him and only kissed him at the end of the night. Should I reach out to him? Is he waiting to see if I want to continue talking? 

Dear Dater,

If you had a date with a man and he hasn’t called or texted you for more than 3 days after your date, he’s just not that interested in you. However, because this guy wanted to “Netflix and chill” and did make some passes at you, he may not have been looking for a potential relationship and was only interested in getting in your pants.

Since you rejected his advances and only kissed him at the end of the night, he may have decided to move on to an easier target.

Don’t feel bad about this. It’s really a great thing because now this guy won’t be in the way of the right man coming into your life. You don’t want to waste time dating the wrong men so don’t dwell on this situation or reach out to him to force a conversation that isn’t meant to take place.

Also you should avoid having a Netflix and chill date for at least the first 5-6 dates. You don’t want to subject yourself to men making aggressive passes at you or even worse, forcing themselves on you. It’s better to be safe and wait until you get to know a man better before you invite him into your home or go to his.

Furthermore, you’re more likely to move faster with a man when you’re in the comfort of a home as opposed to somewhere like a restaurant. So, hold off on the Netflix and chill and stick to public dates until you’ve gotten to know each other much better.

For more great dating advice and tips for being safe while dating, check out my new book Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve Amazon | Barnes & Noble.

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Join Memphis Single Mingle For Fun, Laughter, And Love!

If you’re single and live in or near the Memphis, Tennessee area, you’re definitely going to want to join my Meetup.com group Memphis Single Mingle!

Single Mingle is the meetup to join if you’re open to new experiences and the possibility of finding love while having fun! This meetup is about getting out of the house, making new friends, and meeting the love of your life!

Single Mingle currently connects over 2,000 amazing single Memphians through fun, exciting, and unique events. From outdoor activities to happy hours, festivals, dancing lessons, escape rooms, comedy shows, workshops, dinners, fun fitness, and a variety of other activities, Single Minglers will do it all!

Join Single Mingle for fun, laughter, and love: Memphis Single Mingle

 

UPCOMING MEMPHIS SINGLE MINGLE MEETUPS

Saturday, April 30th: Capture The Flag at Mud Island Dog Park

Saturday, May 6th: Memphis Escape Room

Tuesday, May 9th: Free Comedy Show at the High Cotton Brewery

Saturday, May 20th: Salsa Dance Lesson at The Rumba Room 

Tuesday, May 30th: Vine to Wine: Cork & Pork – A Wine Tasting Series

Thursday, June 8th: Nutritious, But Delicious Cooking Class 

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Picking Up The Pieces – Chapter 2 Book Excerpt

Chapter Two Excerpt 

Drop That Emotional Baggage

Your Thoughts, Beliefs, & Emotions Are Crucial

Trust me when I say the thoughts, beliefs, and emotions derived from your past relationships have significant effects on you, how you interact with and treat men, and how you handle your relationships—whether you believe it or not.

The mind is powerful. It takes note of all your thoughts and feelings and files them away accordingly. Then, when you encounter similar scenarios with men, your mind automatically opens that old file and tells you how to feel or act in that moment. And you better believe that your mind allows action and inaction based on all those little beliefs about dating that you’ve filed away in your brain over the years.

This isn’t to say that you have no control over your thoughts and, consequently, how you act. In fact, you do have control. But to exercise that control, you first have to recognize what your beliefs are and where those beliefs come from. Only then can you combat those negative thoughts that turn into negative actions and replace them with new, healthy thoughts that promote positive action and positive results in your dating life.

So instead of continuing to be controlled by your thought that “all men are dogs,” you can replace that thought with this one: “All the men I’ve dated in the past have been dogs, but I’ll no longer give the wrong men my time so that I have a real chance to meet a better man.” You need to make these types of mental shifts.

It’s imperative that you understand how deeply your thoughts about dating and men affect your dating experiences. Remember, if you believe that all men are dogs, you simply won’t put effort into attracting a quality man. You’ll settle for whatever men come along. If you believe that all men cheat, you’ll accept this exact behavior from all the men you date.

Ultimately, those thoughts and beliefs about men and dating that are sitting in your head will get reflected in your real-life world. So if you have negative thoughts about men and dating, those negative thoughts will manifest themselves as real-life results for you. That’s why the only way to change the results you get in your real life is to change and reshape your inner beliefs.

You definitely don’t want your subconscious to produce results in your dating life that don’t make you happy. Meaning, you need to take note of what’s going on in your head so that you can get rid of all those thoughts that don’t support a positive dating life and positive relationships. If you do this, you’ll be well on your way to readying yourself for a great man and a great relationship.

******

Get Picking Up The Pieces today: Amazon | KindleBarnes & NobleNook Book  

Are You Guilty Of Qualifying Your Confidence?

Although everyone struggles with confidence in different areas of life, there’s one specific type of confidence problem I see with many women. I call it qualified confidence.

What is Qualified Confidence?

Qualified confidence is when a person reduces their confidence, or qualifies it, in regards to a specific quality or area of their life because someone else exhibits the quality in a better way.

For example, Rebecca thought she was beautiful, but when she went to college she met women she thought were much prettier than her and truly beautiful.

So, she started feeling that she was only “okay” since there were other women who were much prettier than she was. Believing that she wasn’t really pretty anymore, she reduced her confidence, she qualified her confidence based on her perception of other women’s beauty.

Does It Only Apply To Looks?

This doesn’t just apply to looks and physical features, women tend to qualify their confidence in other areas of their life too. A woman may think she is not as good an athlete because she knows that there are better athletes out there.

Or, a woman thinks she isn’t very good in her professional or entrepreneurial life because she knows of another woman who is doing much better than she is.

This is qualified confidence and it’s extremely detrimental to our emotional well-being and our ability to be truly happy with ourselves.

Why You Shouldn’t Qualify Your Confidence 

We are all unique human beings and are great in our own way and just because someone may be better at something than you does not mean that you aren’t one of the best too!

Take Usain Bolt, for example, he crushed his opponents and even had time to smile for the cameras while beating them.

Should the people who came in second, third, or fourth place feel like they are lesser athletes because they lost to Usain Bolt? Of course not! They are still the best runners in their country so it would be ridiculous for them to qualify, or reduce, their confidence because someone else is faster than them.

The same applies to you, ladies! Don’t ever reduce your confidence because you think someone is prettier, smarter, more athletic, or more anything than you. Recognize your strengths, love yourself, and know that you are great just the way you were made!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Loving Me Rocks” Girl’s Empowerment Conference 2017

On April 29, 2017, I will be speaking at the “Loving Me Rocks” Girl’s Empowerment Conference at the University of Tennessee at Memphis.

This conference is for daughters and mothers. One of the daughter sessions include, “You Grow Girl” and one of the parent sessions include, “Feeding The Mouth That Bites You.” Join us for this informative, empowering, and motivational conference!

Get your seat today: Eventbrite

I will also be signing books after the event. If you haven’t gotten your copy of Picking up the Pieces, you can get one at the conference or online: Amazon | Barnes & Noble.

Hope to see you there!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

I Am What You See – A Women’s Empowerment Event

On April 30, 2017, I will be speaking at the “I Am What You See” women’s empowerment event at the Burt Ferguson Community Center in Memphis, TN.

Join us for this empowering, motivational, inspirational, and confidence-building event where you will find out why you’re amazing just the way you are!

This event is FREE and all attendees will get a FREE LUNCH during the event! 

There will also be door prizes and a silent auction! The vendors, as of right now, include Makeda’s Cookies, Avon, Mary Kay, Paparazzi Jewelry, Parents & Purses, and Paycation Travel.

Seating is limited and going fast so reserve your spot today: Reserve My Seat

I will also be signing books after the event. If you haven’t gotten your copy of my book, it’s not too late, you can get one through Amazon here: Picking Up The Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself For The Love And Relationship You Deserve or through Barnes & Noble.

Can’t wait to see you there!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Help! My Girlfriend Breaks Up With Me Once A Week!

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

My girlfriend keeps breaking up and getting back together with me. At first it happened every few months, but now it’s been happening once a week and I don’t know what to do. I love this woman. We’ve been dating for a couple of years and I forgive her for doing this, but it’s really starting to make me feel bad about myself and I want it to stop. Every time she breaks up with me she says we’re not compatible, but we never fight and we have a great time together. What should I do?

Dear Dater,

You definitely don’t deserve to be put through this kind of emotional roller coaster, but the good thing is that you’re recognizing her bad relationship habits with you. In the beginning, she only broke up with you every few months, but now it’s happening every week, which tells you that this behavior (and the relationship) is getting progressively worse.

Although you say you guys never fight and have a great time together, there is obviously something else going on underneath the surface that’s causing your girlfriend to want to jump ship frequently. I do think it’s important to point out though that just because you never have disagreements in a relationship, doesn’t mean it’s a good relationship. Your situation is a great example of that.

If your girlfriend felt like the relationship was great too then why would she keep breaking up with you every week? Maybe your girlfriend is considering being with another man, maybe she feels like she’s settling by dating you, maybe she’s always looking for the next best thing, or maybe she has commitment issues. Unfortunately, without knowing your girlfriend, I can’t pinpoint the source of her relationship anxiety.

What I can say for certain though is that there’s something going on that your girlfriend isn’t talking to you about. Have an open, non-confrontational conversation with her about how this back and forth has made you feel and give her an opportunity to explain her true feelings. This will allow you to address any issues she may have been afraid to bring up in the past.

If communicating about this problem doesn’t resolve it, then all I can do for you is help you see what it is that you really want out of a relationship. While you can’t control your girlfriend’s behavior and stop her from breaking up with you periodically, you do have control over yourself and what you accept or tolerate from women. So, consider the following questions and answer them honestly:

  1. Do you believe you deserve unconditional love?
  2. Do you want to be in a relationship where you feel like your girlfriend loves you as much as you love her?
  3. Are you okay with constantly worrying about when your girlfriend will break up with you next?
  4. Do you want to date a woman who, after a couple of years, knows definitively that she only wants to date you?
  5. Do you want a girlfriend that won’t take you on emotional roller coaster rides every week?

Your answers to these questions will help you determine what’s best for you and how to move forward. In my personal opinion, your girlfriend’s behavior says that she doesn’t value you or appreciate you to the extent that she should. Girlfriends should make you feel better about yourself not worse. You shouldn’t have to wonder whether your girlfriend really loves you or whether she’s going to break up with you next week.

Nonetheless, give her a chance to redeem herself by opening up to you and re-committing herself to the relationship. If this doesn’t work or she doesn’t want to, it’s time to cut your ties not only for your emotional well-being, but also so you have the ability to find the kind of love and relationship you truly desire and deserve. A good man deserves a good woman, not a woman who doesn’t recognize what she has!

Always do what is best for your emotional well-being. I wish you all the best!

For more great dating advice, get my new book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Best Online Dating Sites To Use In 2017

With hundreds of online dating sites to choose from, how do you know if you’re picking a good one? Well, trial and error is certainly an indicator, however, that’s time-consuming and there’s more sites to try than anyone has time for.

For this reason, online dating site reviews are great sources of information to shed light on which sites may be the best. Reviews.com analyzed over 60 online dating sites to determine which sites were the best. Find out which dating sites made the list and see which site was dubbed most underwhelmingBest Online Dating Sites.

For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Really Ready For Better Relationships?

 

Ladies, consider these questions:

  • Have you ever been dating a guy who suddenly disappeared into thin air?
  • Is it hard for you to trust men?
  • Have you wondered if you’ll ever meet your Mr. Right?
  • Do you feel like there are no good men out there?
  • Do you think you need to settle for any man who is willing to marry you?

Picking up the Pieces will help you attract the love of your life and keep him. Because it encourages you to hold a mirror up to yourself, this book challenges you to face the reality of how you’ve been holding yourself back in your dating and love life.

The first half of this book will guide you through making positive, internal changes using strategic exercises along with tailor-made affirmations. The second half is comprised of dating advice that helps you identify what your Mr. Right looks like while you gain valuable knowledge that will help you navigate the dating world.

Coupled together, this will ultimately bring about the amazing love you truly desire and deserve. You’ll not only be bursting with confidence, but you’ll also be equipped with the tools you need to quickly weed out the frogs and live happily ever after with your prince.

This is a life-changing journey to a better you and better relationships. Are you ready for the ride of your life? Get The Book

As of today, my ebook is officially available on Kindle: Get The eBook

Till Next Time,

Dee

How One Immigrant’s Story Gave Life To A Life Coach (Press Release)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

HOW ONE IMMIGRANT’S STORY GAVE LIFE TO A LIFE COACH

MIAMI – February 25, 2017 – Dee Simone’s story starts 50 years ago, with the story of her immigrant father, a man who was homeless in Nigeria because his mother abandoned him. Simone has a story—and a life—because her father convinced his best friend to sell his car and give the money to him so that he could buy a plane ticket to the United States of America. With $20 in his pocket, Simone’s father came to this country, worked as a janitor—and at several other odd jobs—and put himself through college and then medical school. 

After Simone’s father found success as a doctor, he brought his best friend to the U.S. and helped him get through medical school to become a doctor as well. Simone’s father’s generosity didn’t stop there; he provided free healthcare and conducted free medical missions within his communities in the U.S. as well as communities in South America and Nigeria.

One of four daughters, Simone became an attorney, a certified mediator, a dating and life coach, and now an author. Following in her father’s footsteps, she continues to give back to her communities and inspires women to find happiness and true love by loving themselves first. Her unique book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve, is more than just dating advice. It’s a journey about self-love, personal growth, and pursuing your goals.

Before providing women with the tools and dating advice they need to identify what their Mr. Right looks like and then how to keep him, this book first encourages women to critically evaluate themselves—using strategic exercises—to recognize the ways they have hindered their own dating lives and relationships. Simone also helps women create tailor-made affirmations to build their confidence, recognize their strengths, and replace any negative thoughts or beliefs about men, dating, and relationships. This book is surely a game-changer!

Picking up the Pieces is available for purchase on www.YourDeeSimone.com and Amazon; the eBook will be available on Kindle March 4, 2017, but it can be pre-ordered now using this link: Kindle Pre-Orders. For more information about Picking up the Pieces, please visit www.YourDeeSimone.com

About Dee Simone – Dee Simone is your dating and life coach extraordinaire. She’s a licensed attorney and certified mediator with a degree in sociology. Dee also writes dating advice articles for online publications and created Dee’s Dating Diary (www.DeesDatingDiary.com) to provide women with valuable dating advice they can use in their everyday life. 

ISBN978-1542566698 | Number of Pages: 202 | Formats Available: Paperback & eBook 

Media & Publicity Inquiries: Daniel Mazier | 404-369-3363 | YourDeeSimone@gmail.com

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Full Press Kit

Is Sarmassophobia Hurting Your Dating Life or Relationships?

Recently, I was asked about the causes of sarmassophobia and how it affects women and their ability to get into relationships. Not having heard of sarmassophobia, I had to do some digging. I learned that sarmassophobia or malaxophobia is the fear of love play, for example, caressing, fondling, or other acts of physical intimacy. 

Who Is Affected By Sarmassophobia?

In my opinion, I think sarmassophobia would be common to victims of rape, sexual abuse, or sexual assault, although women who have not experienced sexual trauma could also have this phobia. For women who have been sexually victimized, developing a fear of love play is completely understandable.

For the other women, the fear of getting too close to a man and getting hurt, heartbroken, or let down in the long run could be the cause of their sarmassophobia. Or perhaps it could simply be the result of not wanting to move fast with men, not wanting to be used for sex or seen as a sex object, or not feeling comfortable enough with someone to engage in love play.

I was also asked whether I think sarmassophobia is a generational problem created by the fact that we are so consumed by social media and unrealistic views of love. With dating apps like Tinder and casual hook ups being more acceptable, to me, it seems more plausible that sarmassophobia would be declining among women who have not been sexually violated. 

How To Overcome Sarmassophobia

I do feel that it’s really important for women suffering from sarmassophobia to determine the root cause of this fear. In identifying the reason for your fear, you’ll be able to start making progress towards overcoming the fear altogether. If the cause of your phobia is from sexual trauma then psychological counseling with a licensed mental health professional will be necessary and extremely helpful.

Now, this isn’t to say that women should openly and freely engage in love play with men they don’t know, don’t like, or aren’t comfortable with. You definitely want to take the time to get to know the person you’re dating before you engage in love play.

The point is, if you meet a great guy who could be your perfect match, you want to be able to give him a genuine chance and not push him away because of your fears or past experiences. You can’t blame every man for one man’s actions.

If a man makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or makes unwelcome physical or sexual advances despite your rejection, immediately remove yourself from the situation.

For more great dating advice, get my new book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Single This Valentine’s Day? Here’s What You Need To Know

If you’re single, you shouldn’t mope around the house on Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day isn’t just about couples showing each other love, it’s also about showing love to your family and the people you care about.

Brighten a loved one’s day with a thoughtful card and chocolate, have a fabulous dinner with your bestie and paint the town red afterwards. It really doesn’t matter what you do, you could stay home and binge watch TV shows all night. What’s important is that you are making yourself happy and sharing your love with the people you love.

There’s no reason to be sad on Valentine’s Day. You have to be patient for the right love to come along and while you wait you should be working on loving yourself and making yourself happy. Doing this will keep you from sabotaging your next relationship by putting pressure on your boyfriend to create happiness for you. True happiness starts within.

For more great dating advice, get my new book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Image courtesy of Gubgib at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Welcome Back To Dee’s Dating Diary!

I first want to thank everyone who has been reading Dee’s Dating Diary, especially those of you who have been here from the start! If you’ve been reading my blog since I started it, you may have noticed that, in the past year, I’ve taken a few months off here and there from writing for Dee’s Dating Diary.

I used this time to focus on some other endeavors and I’m excited to tell you that I just finished writing my very first book! The book will be published this year and I will keep you updated on the official release date as well as upcoming events in your area.

I will also be sharing some excerpts from my book over the next few months so you’ll definitely want to check Dee’s Dating Diary out every Saturday at 8pm EST!

Thanks for letting Dee’s Dating Diary into your homes and hearts.

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

20 Ways To Be Single And Happy

Last week, I wrote about how there is a stigma attached to be being single and I discussed some reasons why there shouldn’t be a negative connotation associated with the word single. If you missed the post, check it out here: How To Be Happy And Single During The Holidays.

This week I’m giving you 20 ways to be single and happy during the holidays and every other day of your life:

  1. Stop seeing being single as a bad thing and embrace your singlehood.
  2. Stop thinking that the “grass is greener,” you never know what really goes on in a relationship.
  3. Do activities and hobbies that make you happy (painting, dancing, exercising, writing, etc.).
  4. Explore new hobbies by yourself or with friends.
  5. Don’t let not having a “plus 1” keep you from going to events you’re excited about.
  6. Try to find other singles at weddings and other events where there are a lot of couples.
  7. Ask a friend to join you in doing a partner activity.
  8. Join some Meet Up groups in your area to do things you enjoy and meet like-minded people.
  9. Stop entertaining and giving time to men who quickly show you they aren’t right for you.
  10. Stop talking to any man who puts you downs or tries to make you feel bad about yourself (this will save you a lot of emotional stress and keep you from feeling unhappy about yourself).
  11. Do things you are good at to increase your confidence.
  12. Plan vacations or getaways with your single friends and treat yourself to spa days. 
  13. Reflect on your past relationships to determine what things you need to work on for your next relationship, this will help empower you to recognize that you have control over many outcomes in your relationships.
  14. Plan dinner parties or brunches with your friends and tell them to leave their plus 1 at home.
  15. Schedule movie nights or a “girl’s night” every so often.
  16. Don’t be afraid to act happy that you are single and enjoying your life.
  17. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel about being single.
  18. Spend time focusing on bettering your community (join an activist group, volunteer, etc.)
  19. Spend time focusing on climbing your career ladder (Success doesn’t mean being married with kids for everyone).
  20. Always maintain your appearance keep doing your hair, nails, and wearing your favorite accessories. Looking good will help you feel good and this will also help you attract men.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

How do you stay single and happy? Share your thoughts in the comments below! 

*Dee’s Dating Diary is going on holiday and will be back Saturday, February 4, 2017. Don’t worry, you can still get great dating advice on a daily basis if you follow Dee’s Dating Diary on Twitter or Facebook. See you next year!

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image Courtesy of Franky242 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

How To Be Single And Happy During The Holidays

As a single woman, you know that family gatherings and holiday parties will mean one thing: getting questioned about your single status. From questions like, “are you dating anyone,” to “why do you think you’re still single,” being single during the holidays can feel stressful. But, it doesn’t have to be!

While it’s easy to let family and friends get into our heads, you can’t let other people make you feel bad about being single.

Although the holidays is a common source of singlehood stress, one of the most stressful events for single women is usually weddings. Instead of being seated at a table with other singles, women are often seated at a table with couples and married people.

What’s worse is that the conversations at these tables are often centered around the couple’s lives, marriage, and having kids. These conversations alienate single wedding attendees and this coupled with questions about where your husband is can easily make a woman feel less than. 

The Single Stigma

Unfortunately, the word “single” has a negative connotation that puts a stigma on husbandless women. People wrongly see you being single as a sign that something is wrong with you or that your problems keep you from holding on to a man for an extended period of time.

Many people wrongly think that if you’re single, it’s for a reason. When many of the people you know are married and having their second or third child, it’s easy for people to speculate on why you haven’t achieved this for yourself.

The truth is, being single is actually a great thing! You shouldn’t see your single status as a negative thing because being in the wrong relationship is what’s bad. Dealing with unnecessary drama and heartache just so you can say you have a man is what you should be afraid of, not being single.

It’s okay if you don’t want to be unhappily married. It’s okay if you want to hold out and wait for the right man to come along. It’s okay to not get swept up in wedding fever and look to the next man who asks you out to be your husband. It’s okay to happily live your life until you run into Mr. Right.

Why Single Shouldn’t Be Stigmatized

Being single is really a positive thing if you approach it the right way and are in the right mental place. Being single means you’re giving yourself the chance to meet a man who is right for you. Being single means you are not going to enter a relationship with a jerk or a controlling and abusive man just so you can feel some sort of fulfillment in the fact that you have someone.

Being single means you are finding, and loving who you really are. Being single means you know how to enjoy your life with or without a significant other. Being single means you know you are a whole woman who doesn’t need a man to complete her, just to complement who she is.

Being single gives you an opportunity to explore yourself and your core values. It allows you to learn more about yourself on a deeper level in a way that gives you a clearer vision of what type of person would best suit you. Being single allows you to see what your priorities in life really are. Being single gives you the objectivity you need to see men more realistically, that is, if you allow yourself to.

Redefine Your Singlehood

All this only happens if you open yourself up to it. If you’re stubborn and stuck in your ways while you’re single, you won’t have that positive growth that will bring you closer to finding the right man for you.

You need to reflect on your past experiences, consider your emotional needs, and identify those qualities that you know won’t help you cultivate a healthy, loving relationship. In doing these things, you will also be more clearly defining the type of man you actually need as opposed to the ones that you want.

Most importantly, you need to live your life and achieve happiness for yourself when you’re single. By doing this you’ll actually put yourself in a much better position to attract and keep the man of your dreams.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Tune in next week when I discuss 20 ways to be single and happy during the holidays and every other day of your life!

Till Next Time,

Dee

 Photo Credit: Image Courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Is Netflix And Chill An Acceptable First Date?

For those of you who are not familiar with the Netflix and chill date, it’s basically a date where you hang out at someone’s home and watch Netflix together.

Here’s the catch, the men that propose these kind of “dates” aren’t interested in having a real date with you. Instead, that want to lay on the couch or bed with you while watching a movie to make it easier for them to make a pass at you and get in your pants.

The Purpose of Netflix And Chill

The Netflix and chill date is really not a date at all. It’s the least amount of effort that a man can put into getting to know you. As a matter of fact, a man who wants to watch Netflix and chill most likely doesn’t really care about getting to know who you are.

He just wants to get you in an environment that will make it easy for him to come on to you. While many women know what to expect if they’re invited to Netflix and chill, some women are surprised to learn that the purpose of the date was for some no-strings-attached fun.

Of course, if you’ve already gone out on other dates, outside the home, then there’s nothing wrong with being invited over to Netflix and chill. However, your first three or four dates should be outside of each other’s home so that having premature sex won’t be an option.

And you’ll give yourself and your date the opportunity to really get to know each other and see if there is potential for a future relationship.

Do You Want A Relationship or Netflix And Chill Nights?

The reality is, men use Netflix and chill as a way to sleep with women as quickly as possible and with as little effort as necessary to accomplish that goal. If you don’t want just have a casual, sexual relationship, you don’t want to start off on that foot.

If you’re interested in more than just sex, you have to act that way and accepting a Netflix and chill date where you end up sleeping with a man too soon does not bring you any closer to attaining that. 

Now there are women who claim to be equally interested in sex on the first date as men, but a lot of these women eventually come to regret their decision to move quickly on the first date when they realize the man they slept with is no longer showing any interest.

Will Rejecting A Netflix And Chill Date Get You A Relationship?

I’m not saying that rejecting the Netflix and chill date will land you in a relationship with a man, but I am saying that you increase your chances of growing what you have into a relationship if you get to know the man you’re dating before sleeping with him and give him a chance to do the same.

You might even get to know a man and realize that he isn’t right for you at all, so by not jumping into the Netflix and chill date too soon, you give yourself an opportunity to see if a man is compatible with you before you go as far as sleeping with him.

Want To Know If He’s Interested In More Than Just Sex?

If you want to know if a man is interested in more than just sex, kindly turn down his suggestion for a Netflix and chill date and let him know that you’d like to get out of the house and do something fun or grab a bite or a drink.

If he’s still trying to pressure you into a Netflix and chill night or isn’t receptive to doing anything else, this man only sees you as an opportunity for sex and nothing more. 

Survey Results

Two weeks ago, I put an informal survey up on my blog asking, “Are you okay with Netflix and chill dates?” While I did not specify whether it was for a first date or otherwise, I found it interesting that 40% of those surveyed answered “yes,” 40% said “no,” and 20% chose “other.”

What are your thoughts on Netflix and chill for a first date? Let me know in the comments below!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image Courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Get A Free Consultation With Dee The Dating Coach!

Are you ready to get the help you need in your dating or relationship life? If so, I’m offering free consultations through November 30, 2016 to the first 10 people who contact me using the form below. Find out how a one-on-one session can help you improve your dating and relationship life!

For great dating advice you can keep on hand, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Survey: Are You Okay With Netflix And Chill Dates? 

Today, the Netflix and chill date has become pretty popular, but are women really happy when they are invited to Netflix and chill? Are women settling for these kind of “dates” or do they prefer it?

If you’re a woman who has been asked to Netflix and chill, answer my quick survey below:

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Here’s Why You Don’t Want To Date A Rich Man

Many women say they want to date or marry a rich man, but just because a man has a lot of money doesn’t mean you’re going to be happy in a relationship with him.

Wealth Doesn’t Equal Happiness

Wealth should never be a prerequisite for a relationship. Instead, you should be looking to see if a man has the important, non-superficial qualities that you NEED in a relationship. For example, is he considerate and not self-centered? Is he honest? Is he trustworthy? Is he emotionally available? Is he family oriented? Does he treat you with respect? Does he have a good heart?

Just because a man has a lot of money doesn’t mean he is a good person. Money does not create or enhance positive qualities like kindness, trustworthiness, or respect. These are completely separate considerations from money.

So, you may find that a man is very wealthy, but he’s inconsiderate, dishonest, condescending, or disrespectful towards you. You have to start focusing on the qualities in a man that would promote a great, healthy, and loving relationship. You also have to consider who you are as a person and what kind of qualities would complement that.

What’s more important than wealth is whether a man is self-sufficient. You should be concerned that a man can provide for himself and, if he wants a family one day, that he can also provide for a family.

A Downside Of Dating Rich Men

While many women firmly believe that their match will be a man with a lot of money, many of these women find themselves unhappy in these relationships because they don’t get to spend much time with their boyfriends.

Here’s the thing, a man who has built an empire that affords him the wealth and lifestyle that you think you want usually won’t be able to spend the kind of quality time you want with him. Building wealth and maintaining it requires a time commitment that often interferes with the time you would spend together.

You don’t become rich laying under your girlfriend or boyfriend all day. It requires dedication. It requires time. And if you’re the type of woman who likes to spend a lot of time with her boyfriend, there’s no way you would really be happy dating a rich man.

On the other hand, if you’re an independent woman who has her own career or business to consider, dating a rich man may not be an issue since you both would need more time to focus on your own work as opposed to the relationship.

If you want to live in the lap of luxury, provide that lifestyle for yourself and stop looking for a man to do it for you.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image Courtesy of Flare at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How to Bring Up Relationship Problems Without Making Your Boyfriend Defensive

If you want to bring up relationship problems without making your boyfriend get defensive, you’re going to have to address the conversation from a “This is how I feel” standpoint. Meaning instead of saying “YOU always do this” or “YOU never clean up after yourself,” you have to explain how you feel by speaking in first person.

So, you would say something like, “After a long day at work, I feel so exhausted that’s it’s hard for me to find the energy to clean. It would be so helpful if I had an extra hand around the house.” Speaking from a place of “I” and not, “You” allows a person to hear your concerns more clearly.

Using the word “you” automatically makes most people feel attacked and this is can hold you back from having a productive, positive conversation. Also, being careful to say “I feel…” instead of ” You (insert behavior here)” will keep all the unnecessary low blows out of the discussion.

When you stick to only talking about how you feel, you keep yourself from making the conversation a childish one where you ignite more flames as opposed to putting them out.

Try not to use the word “you” the next time you have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about a relationship problem and see how it goes. 

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

15 Signs You’re Not Okay With Being Friends With Benefits

Today, there are so many people in the “friends with benefits” situation. While many women will say that they have needs too and are okay with having a friend with benefits, the truth is, women usually feel differently after a few weeks or months. Many women go into these situations thinking they can keep their emotions in check and never want more than what they’re getting, but down the line women always want more.

When Does “Friends With Benefits” Stop Working?

If the friends with benefits thing is going well, you’ll start to think, “Hey, we get along and enjoy each other’s company, why don’t we just date each other?” And that’s when things go sour. If you bring up the idea of being more than just hook-up buddies you’ll usually find that the man isn’t interested in being more than what you are now.

Or, maybe your relationship was benefits with no friendship at all and then your guy starts spending time with you outside of the bedroom and you start thinking, “Maybe he’s interested in being more since he’s actually spending quality time with me and not just coming over to have sex.” Well, that’s usually not the case. Just because you start spending more time together doesn’t mean that a man has developed feelings for you and wants to get serious.

Why You Can’t Turn A Hook-Up Buddy Into A Boyfriend

When you become hook-up buddies, your buddy gets to have his cake and eat it too so when you approach him about being more, there’s no way that he is going to want to limit himself to just you. And why would he after he’s been able to have you with no strings attached while still having the option of talking to and sleeping with any other woman he wants.

The reality is, after you have been sleeping with someone for a while, you will start to develop feelings for the person as hard as you try not to. Very few women can actually maintain a casual relationship without eventually wanting to seek more. There are also men who can’t have casual sex without eventually wanting more, but that’s not most men because they tend to be better at separating sex and feelings.

Why You Become “Friends With Benefits”

Most of the time, women do not end up in friends with benefits situations because that is what they are seeking out. Instead, they usually meet a man who lets them know he isn’t interested in a relationship or marriage and the woman goes along with it because deep down inside she feels like she has to take what she can get and she hopes that she can eventually turn the casual sex into a real relationship.

Here’s the thing, you can’t turn sex into a relationship. Yes, you’ve heard of some women that were able to turn their hook-up buddy into a husband, but that’s the exception to the rule not the rule. And we can’t all be the exception, so you have to stop thinking that you can change men and what they say they want.

If you’re not sure whether you’re really okay with being friends with benefits, here are 15 signs you’re not okay being friends with benefits:

  1. You feel bad, sad, frustrated, annoyed, or anything at all about the fact the he comes over, has sex with you, and leaves right after.
  2. You don’t like that he doesn’t sleep over.
  3. You don’t like that he only contacts you late at night or at the last-minute.
  4. You don’t like that he only contacts you when he wants to come over.
  5. You don’t like that he doesn’t take you out or do things with you outside of the house.
  6. You don’t like when he refers to you as a friend.
  7. You wonder whether he’s sleeping with other women.
  8. You don’t want him to sleep with other women.
  9. You don’t like that he hides you from his family and friends.
  10. You don’t like that he won’t meet your girlfriends.
  11. You don’t like that he isn’t affectionate with you.
  12. You don’t like that he flirts with other women around you.
  13. You lie to yourself or your friends and act like you’re in a relationship.
  14. You stop putting yourself out there to meet other eligible men you could potentially have a relationship with.
  15. You wonder if you can turn your hook-up buddy into a boyfriend.

If you think you might want to be more than just friends with benefits, you can’t start the relationship off that way. Take your time and get to know the guys you meet and stop trying to convince yourself that all you want is a casual relationship simply because that’s all you’re being offered at the moment.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

With advanced technology and the widespread use of online dating, many people have given long distance relationships a try. According to the infographic below, about 14 million people in the U.S. are in long distance relationships.

However, sustaining a long distance relationship is not easy and they are destined for failure unless one person is willing to eventually move and end the long distance aspect of the relationship. If you’re interested in more information on long distance relationships and how you can make them work, check out this infographic:

Infographic courtesy of www.cantwejustgetalongcounselling.com

For great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

15 Signs You’ve Been Rejected

If a man is not really interested in you, he usually won’t tell you. Instead, he will do other things to show you that he doesn’t see a future with you or doesn’t want to continue seeing you at all. As women, we tend not to want to move on from a man until we know with certainty that there’s no hope for a future with him.

However, the reality is that a man usually won’t verbally state his disinterest in you. It’s up to you to pay attention to the signs that a man may be rejecting you. So, here are 15 signs you’ve been rejected by a man:

1. If he doesn’t call you for several days or weeks, you’ve been rejected.
2. If weeks go by and he hasn’t asked you out or made any plans with you, you’ve been rejected.
3. If he stands you up or doesn’t contact you the day you scheduled a date, you’ve been rejected.
4. If he cancels your date because he found something more fun to do, you’ve been rejected.
5. If he cancels or reschedules your date two or more times in a row, you’ve been rejected.
6. If he says he’s not ready for a commitment, you’ve been rejected.
7. If he says he’s not looking for anything serious, you’ve been rejected.
8. If he says he doesn’t want to tie you down or get in the way of your life, you’ve been rejected.
9. If he says he still has feelings for his ex, you’ve been rejected.
10. If he says his schedule is too busy to date or have a relationship, you’ve been rejected.
11. If he says he doesn’t date women for more than a few months, you’ve been rejected.
12. If he brings a friend along on your date, you’ve been rejected.
13. If he suggests setting you up with a friend, you’ve been rejected.
14. If he doesn’t want you to know where he lives, you’ve been rejected.
15. If he can reach you, but you can never reach him, you’ve been rejected.

Now, just because a man contacts you down the line after he has rejected you in one of these ways doesn’t mean he has a renewed interest in you. He hasn’t all of a sudden realized that he let a good woman go. A guy that has rejected you may contact you again out of boredom or to see if he still has a chance with you because he’s really just looking for something casual.

Just because you get a random phone call one evening asking what you’re doing in the next hour doesn’t mean a man is interested in you for anything more than a casual relationship. Rejection usually does not come in the form of a clear explanation of disinterest. Men will always avoid telling you that they just don’t like you.

So, you have to be able to read men’s behavior and take their choice to only call you or see you randomly or sporadically for what it really is: rejection of any potential growth into a real relationship. 

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net