Ladies, how many times have you been hit on by a man in public and thought to yourself, “I can’t believe this unkempt sweatpants-wearing man has the nerve to hit on me!!”
Have you been approached by men in a wife beater and sweatpants and wondered why he thought he could get your phone number?
We’ve all been here before. But, the most important question is, what am I doing, wearing, or putting out there to attract these kind of men?
Always remember, you attract what you put out there!
You Attract What You Reflect
If you leave your house in sweatpants and a wife beater, don’t be mad when a man in sweats and a wife beater hits on YOU!
You can’t expect that you’ll attract a businessman in a suit when you’re wearing sweatpants.
The next time you’re picking an outfit to wear out, whether for a date or otherwise, ask yourself, “would the type of man I want to date go for a woman dressed like this?”
If you wear clothes that show a lot of breasts and skin, you will definitely get attention from men, but it won’t be the kind of attention that you want.
Most men will go after a woman that is dressed like she’s “easy,” however, he’s going after her for sex and nothing more. He won’t be interested in developing a long term relationship with someone he only sees as a late night creep option.
The Skin Rule
When getting dressed, always remember that you can only show ONE of the following, if any:
Avoid Being Labeled “Just Sex”
You can only show off one of these assets at a time if you are going to show off anything at all. If you show both breasts and legs, for example, you will come off as extremely “sexified.”
Even if you think you’ve shown more than one area of skin tastefully, rethink your choices because you’re probably still attracting negative male attention.
On the first few dates, be more on the conservative side in your dress. Better that he think you’re more reserved than you really are than to think you’re just good for sex.
At the end of the day, there’s NO BOUNCING BACK once a man places you in the “just sex” category. Once a man labels you as a sex object, that’s all you’ll ever be!
Yes, there are exceptions to the rule that once a man see’s you as sex, that’s all you’ll ever be. But, exceptions are rare and we can’t all be exceptions to the rule! 😉
Get The Respect You Deserve
Many men already think that women are just sex objects to be used and discarded, so this means that we have to try even harder to not get labeled as such.
While some men may never respect women, there are plenty of men that will show you the respect you deserve, as long as you are showing yourself that same respect FIRST!
Start dressing for what you want the universe to bring you. The clothes that you wear say a lot about who you are! Control the image and perception you are putting out there about yourself.
Be cognizant and aware of the outfits that you are choosing to wear and how you are carrying yourself. Whether you’re going to work, a date, or out with friends, you need to pick your attire cautiously.
If you want to continue dressing freely, that’s fine, but don’t be upset when you get a lot of unwanted attention from sleazy men!
What Does Your Wardrobe Say About You?
It’s honestly true that you attract what you reflect. At the same time, if you have serious self-esteem issues and they come out in the way you dress and the way you carry yourself, men WILL notice this!!
Actually, men easily pick up on the fact that a woman is insecure or lacks self-confidence.
So, if you walk down the street with your shoulders hunched over and your head hanging low, you could give off a vibe that says, “Hey! I have no self-esteem or confidence so any men who want to take advantage of me or control me are welcome!”
Don’t get me wrong, every once in a while you will still have some unwanted stragglers hit on you, but there won’t be nearly as many when you’re dressing appropriately and carrying yourself respectfully.
Start Being Mindful Of How You Carry Yourself
Don’t wear clothes that you are uncomfortable in. When you wear clothes you aren’t comfortable in, you fidget and constantly adjust your clothes. Doing this actually draws more attention to the areas that you’re insecure about.
The truth is, when you aren’t comfortable in your clothes, you can’t be confident in what you do whether it’s being on a date, in the boardroom, or even in front of a camera.
Don’t let your clothes take away your self-confidence!
If you’re constantly focused on adjusting your clothes or how you’re sitting, you can’t be focused on the conversation you’re having. You won’t be “in the moment.”
This isn’t a good thing. People can tell when you’re not giving them your full attention and that’s not an exciting conversation to be in.
Being Comfortable Empowers You!
Honestly, when you’re comfortable, you can be yourself and you can enjoy the company you’re with or the activity you’re doing.
Being comfortable equals being confident. But, being uncomfortable can bring out several bad traits such as pessimism, unwillingness to participate in certain activities, and many other negative attributes.
You’ll EMPOWER YOURSELF by being comfortable! So, wear the clothes that make you feel comfortable, confident, and in control!
Let a man get to know you for who you really are and not for your insecurities.
If you’ve gained weight and you’re reluctant to buy clothes one or two sizes bigger, you’re really only doing yourself a disservice because while you’re pulling your shirt down and pulling your pants up, you’re letting someone know that your insecure and unhappy with yourself.
But, I want to hear your thoughts on this topic! Leave your thoughts and comments below!! Thanks for reading!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,