It’s Easier To Leave Than To Be Left

Posted on March 7, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you’re in a relationship and your boyfriend has to leave town for a trip or some other reason, you probably find it hard to watch him leave.

You may even feel alone because the time you would normally spend with your boyfriend becomes a void or a gap.

The funny thing is, when it’s you that has to leave town it’s not as hard to leave as it is to be left by your boyfriend.

When you’re leaving for a trip, leisurely or work-related, it’s easier to leave because you have something to look forward to or your time will be occupied for the most part.

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Who Has It Easier In A Break Up?

Now, turning this to break ups, it’s also always easier to break up with a boyfriend than to be broken up with.

This obviously isn’t the case if you’re breaking up with your boyfriend because of cheating or some other wrong.

Truthfully though, there’s something about having control over the break up that gives you an element of ease. You weren’t blindsided by the break up, you thought the decision through, and you decided the best move for yourself was to move on.

With these things in mind, you obviously wouldn’t be as torn up over the break up since you’re the person that decided to end it.

So, it’s really true in many aspects actually, it’s always easier to leave than be left!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Are You Following The Skin Rule On Your First Dates?

Posted on February 7, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Picking the right outfit for a date can sometime be stressful, but it’s really important to avoid the temptation to dress in extremely revealing or skimpy outfits.

You may look fabulous in your super short dress with a plunging neck line to your navel and open back, but let me tell you, this is not going to generate anything but sexual interest in you!

And, once a man labels you as a sex object, that’s all you’ll ever be!

So, keep it tasteful on your first few dates by using the skin rule.

Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Skin Rule

You can only show ONE of the following, if any:

1. Cleavage

2. Middrift

3. Legs

4. Back

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Do The Skin Rule?

You definitely don’t want to dress too provocatively on your first few dates so that your date will pay more attention to you and not your body.

As a woman, you have to try your best to keep a man’s mind out of the “gutter.” And, you don’t accomplish this by showing up to a date with your breast hanging out over your food.

You want a man to like you for who you are and not your body alone.

Of course, there needs to be an element of attraction but a man can still be very physically attracted to you without having to see your body through sheer or skimpy clothes.

At the end of the day, looks will fade. So, make sure your dates are developing a genuine interest for you and not just your assets!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

How To Answer Questions About Why You’re Single

Posted on January 24, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

How do you answer questions about why you’re single or why your last relationship ended?

Dear Dater,

Less is always more!

If you’ve been asked questions like these by someone you recently met, keep your answers short and sweet!

If you’re asked why you’re single, the best answer is always “you haven’t met the right person.” And, this isn’t a lie, it’s true!

If you already met the right person, you’d still be with him.

The Time Will Come To Open Up

After you’ve been on several dates, if you’re asked details about why your past relationship ended you can open up a bit more. But, remember, the new person you’re dating doesn’t need all the nitty gritty details.

When you’ve been dating someone for awhile, of course you’ll have to speak more openly about why it ended with your ex.

If a past relationship ended as a result of your own bad behavior, own up to what you did and be sure to tell the person how you learned from that mistake and that you’d never do that to someone again.

It’s easy to scare new dates off with what they may perceive as problems that you have. Too much information too soon can definitely kill a potential relationship. Check out the post I wrote about this: One Thing That Kills A Potential Relationship is…

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Yours Truly,

Dee

Not Happy With Your Online Dating Website?

Posted on January 10, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Today, there’s so many online dating websites out there, not to mention numerous sites that cater to specific interests.

So, with all these online dating websites to choose from, how do you know if you picked the right site?

Really, you don’t know. And, if you’re having trouble meeting new dates then it’s time to branch out and try some different dating sites!

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Join Multiple Online Dating Websites?

If you’re having trouble keeping up with a single online dating website, then you definitely want to stick to one site for now.

But, if you’re not having any success with the one dating site that you are on, then you should definitely join one or two more online dating sites.

The truth is, not every person that uses online dating registers with every different online dating website that’s out there.

So, if you join more than one dating site, you’re opening yourself up to meeting even more men that could be potential matches.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You Only Need One

When you’re using online dating, you have to remember that you only need one good, quality man for a relationship.

You don’t need to attract several men that are perfect for you, just one. So, there’s no need to get discouraged if you haven’t found your match yet.

Some women join one dating site and after a few months or a year of using the same site without success, they get frustrated and want to give up on online dating altogether. But, that’s a bit hasty.

Just because you haven’t found a match on one dating site doesn’t mean you won’t find it on another.

Now, don’t stretch yourself too thin by joining too many online dating sites at once, but definitely open yourself up to more opportunities by joining more than one.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Did Your Boyfriend Make Time For You This Holiday?

Posted on January 3, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Digidreamgrafix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The holidays are a really great time to cherish your loved ones and spend as much quality time with them as possible.

From parents to siblings and friends, the holidays are a time for the people you truly love. No one wants to spend their precious free holiday time with frenemies.

With that being said, if you’re currently in a relationship, this past holiday was certainly a great opportunity to bond and enjoy each other’s company.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Did Your Boyfriend Make Time For You This Holiday?

If you didn’t spend any time with your boyfriend this holiday and you’re not in a long distance relationship, it may be time to re-evaluate the quality and viability of your relationship.

Now, if you or your boyfriend had to work through the holiday, that’s definitely understandable.

But, if you’re in a committed relationship and your boyfriend has genuine feelings for you, he should have been making time to see you over the holiday.

Image courtesy of Savit Keawtavee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Stop Accepting Excuses

Some men will have excuses for every time they let you down, but it’s up to you as the woman to be more discerning about the person you’re dating.

Remember, people always make time for what they really want.

And, if you’re not what your boyfriend really wants, maybe he’s not who you should really want either. Just some food for thought.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Should You Keep Your Exes Stuff After A Break Up?

Posted on December 13, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

During the course of a relationship, we usually cultivate many things from our partner. From gifts, to “borrowed” shirts and sweaters, it’s easy to rack up a lot of items from your boyfriend.

But, after a break up, should you be keeping any of these things?

The answer is no.

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why You Shouldn’t Keep Your Exes Stuff

When you’re trying to get over a relationship, the last thing you need is to have a bunch of stuff around your house that constantly reminds you of your ex and the relationship you had.

Your exes stuff could send you into emotional lows and put you back in that sad place that you were in at the end of the relationship.

Keeping your exes stuff around definitely makes it more difficult to get over the relationship.

These little reminders of your ex will only prolong and delay the healing process after your break up.

And, this is definitely not what you want.

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Let’s Make A Distinction

For some women, yes, seeing an exes things or the gifts he gave can send them into emotional spirals.

But, there are some women who can break up with a boyfriend and not be emotionally affected by seeing some of his stuff.

Take for example, the sweater you took from your boyfriend and love wearing because it’s huge and super comfortable!

Some women might see this sweater after a break up and cry into it. While other women may continue to wear the sweater and simply enjoy its comfort with no emotional attachments or issues.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Make This Distinction?

I have to make a distinction between women who can keep some of their exes things without being emotionally affected by it and women who can’t.

If you can separate the emotional attachments between your ex and certain items, then you don’t necessarily need to get rid of everything.

If your ex got you a gift that you’ve always wanted and you won’t be reminded of him every time you look at it, then there’s no need to junk the gift.

But, do keep in mind that even if you are great at separating your emotions from the gifts your ex gave you, a new boyfriend could have a problem with you keeping some of these things anyway.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Do You Need Your Exes Stuff?

While it may seem harsh to get rid of your exes stuff after the relationship, sometimes it’s the healthiest thing you can do for yourself.

You don’t need a bunch of CDs, pictures, and other things to remind you of your ex.

At the end of the day, you’ll always have your memories and no one can take that from you.

So, don’t allow yourself to unnecessarily hold on to things from your past relationships.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Misplacing Anger After Being Cheated On

Posted on December 6, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of ChokPhoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A lot of women have experienced being cheated on. And, I’m sure we can all agree that it’s a very difficult thing to go through.

While it’s completely understandable to be upset and distraught after learning about your boyfriend’s cheating, what isn’t understandable is women’s misplaced anger in these situations.

Why is it that so many women get upset with the “other woman” their boyfriend is having an affair with instead of directing all their anger and hurt towards the man who actually made the commitment to them?

Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Who’s In The Relationship?

When you enter a relationship or marriage, it’s you and your man that makes that commitment or takes those vows.

The woman who slept with your boyfriend or husband never made any commitment to you. She didn’t take any vows, she didn’t agree to exclusivity.

But, for some reason, the other woman is often held to a higher standard of accountability than the man that cheated.

The sad truth is, majority of the time, the man was never honest about the fact that he was in a relationship in the first place.

So, why would you ever want to fight, hurt, or harass the other woman that your man was telling lies to?

Image courtesy of ChokPhoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Who’s Really To Blame?

Misplaced anger and aggression in cheating is a serious problem.

And, it takes away a lot of the man’s accountability and responsibility in the situation.

The man you decided to be in a relationship with cheats on you and you decide to stay in that relationship and punish the other woman? That sounds like a pretty sweet deal for your boyfriend!

But, why let your man avoid the full consequences of his actions when he’s the person who made the commitment to you?

The reality is, women who don’t know you, owe you nothing.

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Was The “Other Woman” Your Friend?

The only person you should be addressing when you’ve been cheated on is your boyfriend or husband. The other woman is not to blame!

Now, if you were friends with the other woman you certainly have a right to be upset with her.

I definitely don’t agree with any woman knowingly going after a taken man and if you find yourself in this kind of situation, then you do need to address the “other woman” in terms of your friendship with her.

But, this still doesn’t give you a pass to fight or harass your friend.

Obviously, this friend isn’t the type of woman you should continue being friends with, but having a civilized conversation about her own betrayal to you is necessary!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Vote For Dee’s Dating Diary For A Great Dating Blog Award!

Posted on November 29, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dee’s Dating Diary has been nominated for FOUR different Dating Awards from Great Dating Blogs!

Voting has officially opened and I really need your support!!

Vote for Dee’s Dating Diary by clicking on each of the below award categories:

Best NEW Dating Blog

Best NICHE Dating Blog

Best Overall Dating Blog

Best Dating Podcast

The voting ends December 12th, so get your votes in now! I really appreciate your support and enthusiasm for Dee’s Dating Diary!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Where To Spend The Holidays When You’re In A Relationship

Posted on November 8, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Gualberto107 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The holidays are such a wonderful and joyous time!

But, when you’re in a relationship, it’s not always fun deciding which family to spend the holidays with.

I do have a simple tip for planning your future holidays, but, first, I think it’s important to acknowledge a significant problem women have during the holidays.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Unfortunate Holiday Compulsion

I often find that when women are in relationships, they tend to spend most, if not all, of their holidays with their boyfriend’s family instead of their own.

It’s seems all too easy for many women to forget about their own family and ingratiate themselves into their boyfriend’s family.

While there’s nothing wrong with spending quality time with your man’s family, it definitely becomes a problem when your own family doesn’t get to spend any time with you.

You can’t forsake your family on every holiday. You should still spend some of your holidays with your own family.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t spend any holidays with your boyfriend’s family, you just need to maintain a balance and not forget about the people you grew up with.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tips For The Holidays

Instead of fighting over who’s family to spend the holidays with, divvy up the holidays between your two families.

Spend Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other.

If there’s a particular holiday that is more important to your partner’s family than your own, spend that holiday with them.

You could also spend Christmas with your partner’s family one year and Christmas with your family the next year. This way, each family gets to enjoy you on different holidays each year.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is Family Important To You And Your Partner?

If spending time with your family isn’t as important to you as it is to your partner, then you should spend more holidays with your partner’s family.

HOWEVER, I will say, if you highly value family and your partner doesn’t, this could be the source of a lot of conflict in your relationship.

While I do believe that you don’t have to share every single value that your partner shares in order for a relationship to work (See my post: Do You Share The Same Values?), if you value family and your partner does not, this could end up being a serious deal breaker.

If you intend to start a family with your partner one day, you’ll want him or her to value the family you’ve created.

But, if your partner doesn’t value their own family now, how much will they really value the family you create together? Think about that!

For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

How to Create A Great Online Dating Profile

Posted on October 18, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

With online dating becoming more popular and widespread, building a great online dating profile is a must!

While some people do use online dating as a superficial picture shopping forum, there are many people that actually take the time to read online dating profiles.

So, you definitely want to say a little about who you are and what you’re looking for.

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Writing About Yourself

When you’re writing in the “about yourself” section of your profile, you only need 1 paragraph.

And, this paragraph should be no more than 3-5 sentences long.

You need to think critically about who you are. Play up your best and most important characteristics.

If you’re having a hard time describing yourself, think about how your family and friends would describe you.

If you still can’t come up with anything, then reach out to friends and family and ask them how they would describe you.

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Writing About What You’re Looking For

You definitely need to seriously evaluate what you want in a partner. I’m not talking about superficial things like looks, physique, or money.

I’m talking about those important qualities that you need in a partner.

So, now is the time to distinguish between your wants and your needs!

If you need more help figuring out what you need in a partner and relationship, check out my post “Is Your Laundry List Holding You Back From Getting A Quality Man?”

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is There Too Much Information On Your Dating Profile?

Ultimately, your online dating profile only needs just enough information to tantalize potential dates and leave them wanting to get to know more about you.

I’ve seen numerous profiles where people have divulged their entire life story or listed every last detail about themselves and what they like, and, unfortunately, these profiles don’t cultivate much attention.

While it is important to write about yourself and the qualities you want in a person, you never want anyone to think that they know exactly who you are based solely on reading your profile.

I know this may seem counterintuitive for some people, perhaps you thought more is better!!

But, trust me, it’s much easier for people to make snap judgments about your compatibility and whether you’re a date worth pursuing when you give too much information on your profile.

Even if you left out some small details here and there on your profile, you better believe that people will fill in those small gaps with their own assumptions. Whether those assumptions are true or not.

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Limiting Your Date Conversation?

When it comes to writing about the movies, songs, and books a person likes, I’ve seen many profiles that list well over 30-50 items and this is definitely overkill!

When you write about every last movie, song, or book you like, you leave no room for these topics to become conversation points on your dates.

Don’t take away a lot of the great conversation you could have on your date by putting too much information on your dating profile.

Reel your dates in by leaving enough curiosity to ponder, which means keep your online dating profiles short and sweet!!

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Need More Help With Your Online Dating Profile?

Do you think your online dating profile needs a makeover? Have you been using an online dating site for months, but aren’t getting the attention you want?

Or, do you need help creating your first online dating profile?

Well, Dee’s Dating Diary is here to help! I can help transform your profile from a dud to a stud!

Give yourself a fighting chance with online dating, contact Dee’s Dating Diary today at Dee@DeesDatingDiary.com.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

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5 Tips For Better Online Dating Profile Pictures

Has Online Dating Changed The Dating Game?

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5 Tips For Better Online Dating Profile Pictures

Posted on October 11, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you create a profile on an online dating website, you hope that you’ll get lots of messages and meet your perfect match.

But, what many people don’t realize when they create their online dating profiles is that your profile pictures are the most important aspect of your dating profile.

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Online Dating Increases Superficiality

There’s something about online dating that enables and even pushes people to use it in a superficial way.

Perhaps it’s the structure of having pages that show tons of profiles with a quick synopsis consisting of just a picture, location, and tagline, that promotes the behavior of picking dates or determining interest based on pictures alone.

While there shouldn’t be such a strong emphasis on profile pictures, the reality is, most people pick online dates based solely on profile pictures.

Many people won’t take the time to read your entire profile, but they will definitely go through all of your pictures. Well, that’s if your main profile picture has caught their attention in the first place.

Although you don’t want to date someone who picks dates based on looks alone, the sad truth is, even good people fall victim to the online dating photo shopping mentality.

So, considering how important it is to have great profile pictures in order to drive attention to your online dating profile, I want to give you 5 great tips for your dating profile pics!

5 Tips For Creating Better Online Dating Profile Pictures:

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

1. No Blurry Pictures

This is pretty self explanatory, but you should never put blurry pictures of yourself on your online dating profile or you might as well hide your face altogether.

Your pictures are supposed to let people know what you look like.

But, when you put blurry pictures on your profile it can be deceiving or give someone the impression that you have something to hide. Be honest and show who you really are.

2. No Pictures of Pictures

Profile pictures are supposed to show the best you. But, even if the best picture of you only exists in hard copy and there’s no digital version, you still CANNOT take a picture of that picture.

Let’s be honest too, if your best picture is only in the form of a hard copy and there’s no digital copy as well, the picture is way too old to be used on your dating profile.

With the advancements of technology, there’s no reason why you should have to take a picture of a printed photo.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. No Pictures With People of The Opposite Sex

You should never use pictures of yourself with someone of the opposite sex because you can give people the wrong impression about the relationship you have with that person.

I know many women that have later found out that the woman in a picture with their online date was actually the man’s wife or girlfriend. And, these experiences lead women to mistrust and write off other men who have women in their profile pictures.

Even if the person in your picture is truthfully just a friend, you don’t want to give prospective matches the opportunity to make a snap judgment about who you’re with in your pictures and move on to the next profile.

Don’t give anyone the chance to fill in the blanks about the relationships you have with people in your pictures.

4. No Less Than 3 Pictures on Your Profile, But No More than 5

Your online dating profile pictures should consist of 1 or 2 head shots, 1 or 2 full body shots, and an optional activity photo that shows you doing an activity or hobby you enjoy.

You want to give a little variety in your pictures to give someone a better sense of what you actually look like. When you only use one picture or a few pictures that show you from the same exact angle, you’re not allowing a person to know what you really look like.

We all know that sometimes a person’s “best angle” isn’t necessarily a good reflection of how the person normally looks!

5. Your Pictures Cannot Be More Than A Year Old

This is a pretty straight forward tip, you know why you shouldn’t use old pictures on your dating profile. Your profile is supposed to show people what you currently look like, not what you looked like in your best years or at your lowest weight.

There is an exception to this rule though… If you’re one of those people who always looks the same and doesn’t really age, you can use an older picture of yourself as long as you look the same exact way today.

If you have pictures that are less than a year old but you’ve changed your look, then you need to take new pictures for your profile. So, if you’ve change your hair, lost a lot of weight, or gained a lot of weight, you need to take new photos and update your profile pictures!

Need More Help With Your Dating Profile Pictures?

While you don’t need to use a professional photographer to take your pictures for your online dating profile, you can use an online dating photographer who will take natural pictures that will capture your true and realistic beauty.

If you live in the UK and you’re interested in taking pictures with an online dating photographer, check out this Facebook page: Saturday Night’s Alright.

If you live in the US and would like referrals for online dating photographers, email me at Dee@DeesDatingDiary.com.

Don’t forget, I’ve dedicated the month of October to online dating, so stay tuned for more great online dating tips to come!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

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Has Online Dating Changed The Dating Game?

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Posted on September 27, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Although we live in an era where men and women are getting married at much older ages, this shift hasn’t affected men as much as it has affected women.

Society accepts men being “bachelors” for a longer period of time now. Man can live the bachelor life well into their 30’s without repercussions.

And, in contrast to women, when men are ready to settle down in a relationship in their older age, they are still considered very eligible bachelors.

But, when a woman is over 30, she isn’t necessarily viewed as a very “eligible” bachelorette.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why The Pressure to Get Married?

Most women in their mid 20’s or even earlier start feeling pressure from their family or friends to find a boyfriend, get married, and have kids.

Most of our parents and grandparents grew up in an era where getting married at a young age was the norm.

Women went from their parent’s house straight to their husband’s house and being married by 18 wasn’t seen the way it is today.

With this, you can understand why older generations don’t necessarily understand a woman’s choice to remain single past the age of about 20.

Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Double Standard

It’s a shame that as a single woman ages, sometimes her value in the eyes of the world tends to decrease while a man’s value tends to increase as he ages.

It’s a clear double standard.

Men age, cultivate their careers, and build their wealth and this makes them more desirable, eligible bachelors to women.

But, it’s not necessarily the same for women. A 40-year old man with his career together is more sought after than a 40 year old woman with her career and life together.

Image courtesy of Kongsky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Fight The Pressure to Get Married?

Here’s the problem…

If you do fall victim to society’s pressure to get married before you’ve met your match, you’ll quickly pick and marry a man who isn’t right for you.

You’ll settle. You’ll let go of all those things you’ve wanted for yourself and pretty much just take what you can get at the moment.

Because, time is of the essence right?

When you feel pressure to be married, you have to remember that settling for any man won’t make you happy in the long run!

Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Whose Life Is It?

While your family and friends may encourage you to settle down with someone who isn’t right for you, you have to remember that it’s YOU who has to be with this person for the rest of your life, not your family or friends!

Your family and friends won’t have to deal with those problems that come with dating and marrying the wrong person, you will!!

Despite the world wanting you to be married, you can’t let this run you into the arms of Mr. Wrong.

Hold out for your Mr. Right, as hard as that may be! He will come along one day and the wait will certainly be worth it!!

Stay strong my single ladies!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Are You Turning Men or Women Off On Dates?

Posted on September 20, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

On first dates, you’re essentially selling your best self!

First dates are your opportunity to show a person the best of who you are, whatever that may be.

Ultimately, people fall in love for the good in someone, not the bad.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Accentuate The Positive

The reality is, you attract people with positive points not negative ones. So, you should always lead with the positive!

Once a person likes you, he or she can more easily overlook your flaws.

But, when you lay your problems on the table too soon, you can easily scare a person off.

When your dates reflect back on the time you both shared together, you want them to have positive feelings about you and the experience.

You definitely don’t want to leave a bitter taste in their mouth. But, when you bring up your problems on first dates, that’s exactly what you do!

Compare with Friendships

Think about your friendships. It’s the good things about your friends and the positive times shared that built and strengthened the friendship.

We all learn about flaws that we may not necessarily care for in our friends, but we accept those flaws. And, why is this?

It’s because of the positive foundation that the friendship was built on.

Taking this analogy back to dating… Once you’ve started to build the foundation of your relationship, a person can easily overlook your flaws and accept you for the complete person that you are.

But, when you put your flaws on the table on your first few dates, you’re just giving your date reasons to write you off for a potential relationship.

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Your Date Will Learn With Time

We all know that no one is perfect, but there’s really no point in even talking about your issues on first dates because, in time, they will all be known anyway!

A new person you’re dating should learn about your flaws naturally, in the course of dating and getting to know you. Not because you threw it in his or her face.

Putting yourself down won’t get you positive results in dating, so leave the negative feelings about yourself at the door and remember to accentuate your positives!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

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Clean Up For Your Date

Your Self-Confidence Can’t Depend on Him!!

One Thing That Kills A Potential Relationship is…

The Most Important Thing to do After a Break Up

Posted on August 30, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

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After a break up, an important part of the healing and learning process is reflecting back on the relationship.

The relationship playback is basically the process of playing back the relationship in your mind from the first date until the last day.

The relationship playback is the time when you’re able to see all those signs that were showing you the problems in your relationship. What once seemed like small unimportant things now look like obvious red flags you should have picked up on.

This process can be difficult and mentally exhausting. But, it truly helps you learn valuable lessons to grow from because it allows you to see your relationship more objectively since you’ve been removed from the situation altogether.

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Trust Your Gut!

How many times have you had a genuine feeling that your boyfriend was cheating on you just to eventually find out that you were right?

When your gut tells you that your boyfriend is not being faithful to you, trust your gut! It’s called women’s intuition for a reason! You’ve been given a special gift that allows you to sense when things aren’t right.

These feelings are usually a result of red flags that your mind has processed, but that you didn’t really pay attention to or you purposefully ignored.

Whether it’s cheating or something else, the next time your gut tells you something isn’t right, don’t just write those feelings off because you may eventually come to regret that decision.

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The Relationship PlayBack
Perhaps your ex boyfriend was very controlling, but you didn’t realize it until you were already in a committed relationship.

Well, the relationship playback, if you’re open to growing, allows you to learn from your mistakes. It really is the best way to avoid carrying emotional baggage from one relationship into your future dating!

The relationship playback is where you take note of those red flags you need to watch for in the future. And, it also gives you the opportunity to recognize and correct those relationship problems that you created or enabled.

So, after a break up, make sure you do the relationship playback so you can gain the wisdom that’s necessary to attract a great, loving, and healthy relationship in the future!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

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Red Flag: Does He Pull Disappearing Acts?

Red Flag: He “Fell Asleep”

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

Stop Being The Victim!

Never Give Up Hope!

Posted on August 23, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

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With failed date after failed date, it’s easy to get discouraged about your chances of success in dating. Even a lack of a dating life can make a woman feel like finding her match may be hopeless.

Too often, I hear women speak negatively about their chances of finding a good man. They say all men cheat, all men are inconsiderate, or all men are dogs.

These negative statements about men and dating actually hurt your chances of finding a great relationship.

Think about it this way, if you say there are no good men out there, you will allow yourself to settle for a man who isn’t good. Why? Because you believe good men don’t exist!

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Increase Your Chances of Attracting A Great Relationship
If you want to increase your chances of attracting a great relationship, you have to first believe that it CAN happen. Your negativity about dating only hurts yourself.

While I understand how numerous encounters with crappy guys can change your perspective about the prevalence of quality men in the world, this is actually the worst thing you can let yourself do.

When you have negative thoughts and beliefs about dating, you better believe that these feelings can come out in your dates with men. Your choice of words, body language, and actions can tell a date exactly how you feel.

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Stop The Negativity
So, it’s really important not to let your negativity about dating spill over into your dates. And, how do you do this? By stopping the negativity all together!

No matter what you’ve been through in your relationships, online dating, or the dating world in general, stay positive about dating so you can bring about positive results in your own dating life!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

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You Attract What You Put Out There

You Don’t Deserve A Good Man… Yet!!

Date The Man You Want!!

Posted on August 2, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

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Often times, women are so eager to have a boyfriend or get married that they allow themselves to date the first man that comes along who is open to a relationship.

Unfortunately, many women fail to determine whether a man is a quality person, let alone the right man for them.

With their sights set on marriage and kids, some women will overlook the fact that a man lacks certain important qualities.

Date The Man You Actually Want!

What many women fail to realize is that who you date is ultimately who you marry.

If he acts a certain way when you’re dating, you best believe he’s going to act the exact same way if you get married too!

Neither you nor a marriage can change a man into something that he is not.

In fact, whatever he is now may be amplified over the years so make sure a man is actually right for you before jumping into a relationship with him.

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Don’t Try To Change A Man

It’s very foolish to think you can change a man.

So, instead of dating any man that’s willing to call you his girlfriend, take the time to decipher whether a person is right for you and whether you’d be a good match.

If you feel the need to change a man, then you’re in the wrong relationship!

Save yourself the time and heartache and date the man who actually is who you want to date!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Clean Up For Your Date

Posted on July 26, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

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First impressions are everything!

While you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, many people make snap judgments based on what they immediately see and aren’t willing to stick around to learn much more.

Making good first impressions doesn’t just apply to how you look the first time you meet someone.

You also need to make a good first impression when a new person you’re dating comes to your home!

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Clean It Up!

It’s really important that you clean your home and make it nice and neat before you have a new dating companion come over.

If you have clothes thrown everywhere and dirty dishes piled up in the sink, your date might feel like it isn’t a place where they’d want to spend much of their time, if any.

It’s okay if you tend to have the “organized mess” or just the messy mess altogether, but you definitely want your date to feel comfortable in your home.

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Are You Normally A Messy Person?

People that tend to be messy sometimes think, “Hey, I’m a messy person and anyone I date needs to be able to accept that!”

Although this is true to an extent, letting a new person see you live in a pigsty may be very off-putting for them.

When someone gets to know you better and develops feelings for you they can more easily overlook some messy habits.

But, if you expose someone to your unclean home too soon, it could be more difficult to be overlooked.

So, take the time to clean up your home before your date comes over!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

Posted on July 19, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Last week I discussed 5 red flags that men need to pay attention to, so this week I’ve addressed 5 red flags that women should watch for. I wrote this article for Singles Warehouse and you can access it on their website here: 5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

5 Red Flags Men Need To Watch For

Posted on July 12, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

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While I normally address red flags that women should be watchful for with men, I want to focus on 5 red flags that men need to watch for with women.

Although some men are great at identifying red flags that tell you a woman may not be good relationship material, some men don’t readily notice these clues.

So, here are 5 Red Flags That Men Need To Watch For:

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1. She Talks About The Future Too Soon

Talking about “the future” too soon is definitely a red flag that you need to pay attention to. This is a sign that she may try to force the progression of your relationship.

Listen carefully when your date is speaking. If she uses the word “we” a lot, then you have a good idea of what you may be getting yourself into by continuing to date this woman.

If a woman is making plans for the both of you and it’s only your second date, you can’t act surprised when soon after she’s trying to pressure you into a relationship and then marriage!

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2. She’s Needy, Clingy, or Desperate

It’s never a good idea to date a needy or clingy woman. Clinginess is a sign that a woman will have dependency issues in the relationship.

Dating a woman that is completely dependent on you is detrimental to having a healthy relationship.

A needy woman requires A LOT of attention and pacifying. She can’t be alone and she’ll want to spend all of her time with you, which could make you feel suffocated by her attention.

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3. She Talks About Her Ex

Talking about exes on the first few dates is a HUGE red flag! If she’s talking about her ex-boyfriend on a date with you, face it, she’s NOT over him.

You don’t want to have to deal with the emotional baggage she’s carrying from her last relationship.

Some women don’t take the necessary time to deal with issues from their previous relationship and actually HEAL before getting back into the dating world.

If you don’t want to deal with a woman’s issues that another man caused, then steer clear of the woman who can’t help but talk about her ex!

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4. She’s Jealous Or Snoops

If your date makes a reference to you being a player type or suggests that you must date many women, and you’re not, this is a red flag that she may be the jealous type.

You don’t want to date a woman who is jealous for no reason because this will play out in your relationship if you decide to date her exclusively.

With a jealous woman, she may accuse you of cheating or even snoop through your phone or other things. Dating a jealous woman is not conducive to having a happy or healthy relationship.

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5. She’s Insecure or Lacks Self-Confidence

If a woman is very insecure and lacks self-confidence, this is a sign that you will have to put A LOT of effort into dating this woman.

This is because an insecure woman requires a lot of emotional work and, therefore, a lot of emotional support from you.

While it may seem admirable to take this relationship on and try to help your girlfriend work through her self-worth issues, true change can only come from her.

There’s nothing you can do to make her secure about herself. It’s called “SELF-” worth and “SELF-” confidence for a reason, it has to come from her, NOT you!

Any Thoughts?

What are your experiences with dealing with these kinds of red flags? I’d love to hear your stories and perspectives, so please leave a comment below!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee