It’s Easier To Leave Than To Be Left

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you’re in a relationship and your boyfriend has to leave town for a trip or some other reason, you probably find it hard to watch him leave.

You may even feel alone because the time you would normally spend with your boyfriend becomes a void or a gap.

The funny thing is, when it’s you that has to leave town it’s not as hard to leave as it is to be left by your boyfriend.

When you’re leaving for a trip, leisurely or work-related, it’s easier to leave because you have something to look forward to or your time will be occupied for the most part.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Who Has It Easier In A Break Up?

Now, turning this to break ups, it’s also always easier to break up with a boyfriend than to be broken up with.

This obviously isn’t the case if you’re breaking up with your boyfriend because of cheating or some other wrong.

Truthfully though, there’s something about having control over the break up that gives you an element of ease. You weren’t blindsided by the break up, you thought the decision through, and you decided the best move for yourself was to move on.

With these things in mind, you obviously wouldn’t be as torn up over the break up since you’re the person that decided to end it.

So, it’s really true in many aspects actually, it’s always easier to leave than be left!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Are You Following The Skin Rule On Your First Dates?

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Picking the right outfit for a date can sometime be stressful, but it’s really important to avoid the temptation to dress in extremely revealing or skimpy outfits.

You may look fabulous in your super short dress with a plunging neck line to your navel and open back, but let me tell you, this is not going to generate anything but sexual interest in you!

And, once a man labels you as a sex object, that’s all you’ll ever be!

So, keep it tasteful on your first few dates by using the skin rule.

Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Skin Rule

You can only show ONE of the following, if any:

1. Cleavage

2. Middrift

3. Legs

4. Back

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Do The Skin Rule? 

You definitely don’t want to dress too provocatively on your first few dates so that your date will pay more attention to you and not your body.

As a woman, you have to try your best to keep a man’s mind out of the “gutter.” And, you don’t accomplish this by showing up to a date with your breast hanging out over your food.

You want a man to like you for who you are and not your body alone.

Of course, there needs to be an element of attraction but a man can still be very physically attracted to you without having to see your body through sheer or skimpy clothes.

At the end of the day, looks will fade. So, make sure your dates are developing a genuine interest for you and not just your assets!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

How To Answer Questions About Why You’re Single

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

How do you answer questions about why you’re single or why your last relationship ended?

Dear Dater,

Less is always more!

If you’ve been asked questions like these by someone you recently met, keep your answers short and sweet!

If you’re asked why you’re single, the best answer is always “you haven’t met the right person.” And, this isn’t a lie, it’s true!

If you already met the right person, you’d still be with him.

The Time Will Come To Open Up

After you’ve been on several dates, if you’re asked details about why your past relationship ended you can open up a bit more. But, remember, the new person you’re dating doesn’t need all the nitty gritty details.

When you’ve been dating someone for awhile, of course you’ll have to speak more openly about why it ended with your ex.

If a past relationship ended as a result of your own bad behavior, own up to what you did and be sure to tell the person how you learned from that mistake and that you’d never do that to someone again.

It’s easy to scare new dates off with what they may perceive as problems that you have. Too much information too soon can definitely kill a potential relationship. Check out the post I wrote about this: One Thing That Kills A Potential Relationship is…

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Yours Truly,

Dee

Not Happy With Your Online Dating Website?

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Today, there’s so many online dating websites out there, not to mention numerous sites that cater to specific interests.

So, with all these online dating websites to choose from, how do you know if you picked the right site?

Really, you don’t know. And, if you’re having trouble meeting new dates then it’s time to branch out and try some different dating sites!

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Join Multiple Online Dating Websites?

If you’re having trouble keeping up with a single online dating website, then you definitely want to stick to one site for now.

But, if you’re not having any success with the one dating site that you are on, then you should definitely join one or two more online dating sites.

The truth is, not every person that uses online dating registers with every different online dating website that’s out there.

So, if you join more than one dating site, you’re opening yourself up to meeting even more men that could be potential matches.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You Only Need One

When you’re using online dating, you have to remember that you only need one good, quality man for a relationship.

You don’t need to attract several men that are perfect for you, just one. So, there’s no need to get discouraged if you haven’t found your match yet.

Some women join one dating site and after a few months or a year of using the same site without success, they get frustrated and want to give up on online dating altogether. But, that’s a bit hasty.

Just because you haven’t found a match on one dating site doesn’t mean you won’t find it on another.

Now, don’t stretch yourself too thin by joining too many online dating sites at once, but definitely open yourself up to more opportunities by joining more than one.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Did Your Boyfriend Make Time For You This Holiday?

Image courtesy of Digidreamgrafix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Digidreamgrafix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The holidays are a really great time to cherish your loved ones and spend as much quality time with them as possible.

From parents to siblings and friends, the holidays are a time for the people you truly love. No one wants to spend their precious free holiday time with frenemies.

With that being said, if you’re currently in a relationship, this past holiday was certainly a great opportunity to bond and enjoy each other’s company.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Did Your Boyfriend Make Time For You This Holiday?

If you didn’t spend any time with your boyfriend this holiday and you’re not in a long distance relationship, it may be time to re-evaluate the quality and viability of your relationship.

Now, if you or your boyfriend had to work through the holiday, that’s definitely understandable.

But, if you’re in a committed relationship and your boyfriend has genuine feelings for you, he should have been making time to see you over the holiday.

Image courtesy of Savit Keawtavee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Savit Keawtavee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Stop Accepting Excuses

Some men will have excuses for every time they let you down, but it’s up to you as the woman to be more discerning about the person you’re dating.

Remember, people always make time for what they really want.

And, if you’re not what your boyfriend really wants, maybe he’s not who you should really want either. Just some food for thought.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Should You Keep Your Exes Stuff After A Break Up?

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

During the course of a relationship, we usually cultivate many things from our partner. From gifts, to “borrowed” shirts and sweaters, it’s easy to rack up a lot of items from your boyfriend.

But, after a break up, should you be keeping any of these things?

The answer is no.

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why You Shouldn’t Keep Your Exes Stuff

When you’re trying to get over a relationship, the last thing you need is to have a bunch of stuff around your house that constantly reminds you of your ex and the relationship you had.

Your exes stuff could send you into emotional lows and put you back in that sad place that you were in at the end of the relationship.

Keeping your exes stuff around definitely makes it more difficult to get over the relationship.

These little reminders of your ex will only prolong and delay the healing process after your break up.

And, this is definitely not what you want.

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Let’s Make A Distinction

For some women, yes, seeing an exes things or the gifts he gave can send them into emotional spirals.

But, there are some women who can break up with a boyfriend and not be emotionally affected by seeing some of his stuff.

Take for example, the sweater you took from your boyfriend and love wearing because it’s huge and super comfortable!

Some women might see this sweater after a break up and cry into it. While other women may continue to wear the sweater and simply enjoy its comfort with no emotional attachments or issues.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Make This Distinction?

I have to make a distinction between women who can keep some of their exes things without being emotionally affected by it and women who can’t.

If you can separate the emotional attachments between your ex and certain items, then you don’t necessarily need to get rid of everything.

If your ex got you a gift that you’ve always wanted and you won’t be reminded of him every time you look at it, then there’s no need to junk the gift.

But, do keep in mind that even if you are great at separating your emotions from the gifts your ex gave you, a new boyfriend could have a problem with you keeping some of these things anyway.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Do You Need Your Exes Stuff?

While it may seem harsh to get rid of your exes stuff after the relationship, sometimes it’s the healthiest thing you can do for yourself.

You don’t need a bunch of CDs, pictures, and other things to remind you of your ex.

At the end of the day, you’ll always have your memories and no one can take that from you.

So, don’t allow yourself to unnecessarily hold on to things from your past relationships.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Misplacing Anger After Being Cheated On

Image courtesy of ChokPhoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ChokPhoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A lot of women have experienced being cheated on. And, I’m sure we can all agree that it’s a very difficult thing to go through.

While it’s completely understandable to be upset and distraught after learning about your boyfriend’s cheating, what isn’t understandable is women’s misplaced anger in these situations.

Why is it that so many women get upset with the “other woman” their boyfriend is having an affair with instead of directing all their anger and hurt towards the man who actually made the commitment to them?

Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Who’s In The Relationship?

When you enter a relationship or marriage, it’s you and your man that makes that commitment or takes those vows.

The woman who slept with your boyfriend or husband never made any commitment to you. She didn’t take any vows, she didn’t agree to exclusivity.

But, for some reason, the other woman is often held to a higher standard of accountability than the man that cheated.

The sad truth is, majority of the time, the man was never honest about the fact that he was in a relationship in the first place.

So, why would you ever want to fight, hurt, or harass the other woman that your man was telling lies to?

 

Image courtesy of ChokPhoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ChokPhoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Who’s Really To Blame?

Misplaced anger and aggression in cheating is a serious problem.

And, it takes away a lot of the man’s accountability and responsibility in the situation.

The man you decided to be in a relationship with cheats on you and you decide to stay in that relationship and punish the other woman? That sounds like a pretty sweet deal for your boyfriend!

But, why let your man avoid the full consequences of his actions when he’s the person who made the commitment to you?

The reality is, women who don’t know you, owe you nothing.

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Was The “Other Woman” Your Friend?

The only person you should be addressing when you’ve been cheated on is your boyfriend or husband. The other woman is not to blame!

Now, if you were friends with the other woman you certainly have a right to be upset with her.

I definitely don’t agree with any woman knowingly going after a taken man and if you find yourself in this kind of situation, then you do need to address the “other woman” in terms of your friendship with her.

But, this still doesn’t give you a pass to fight or harass your friend.

Obviously, this friend isn’t the type of woman you should continue being friends with, but having a civilized conversation about her own betrayal to you is necessary!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee