Vote For Dee’s Dating Diary For A Great Dating Blog Award!

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dee’s Dating Diary has been nominated for FOUR different Dating Awards from Great Dating Blogs!

Voting has officially opened and I really need your support!!

Vote for Dee’s Dating Diary by clicking on each of the below award categories:

Best NEW Dating Blog

Best NICHE Dating Blog

Best Overall Dating Blog

Best Dating Podcast

The voting ends December 12th, so get your votes in now! I really appreciate your support and enthusiasm for Dee’s Dating Diary!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Where To Spend The Holidays When You’re In A Relationship

Image courtesy of Gualberto107 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Gualberto107 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The holidays are such a wonderful and joyous time!

But, when you’re in a relationship, it’s not always fun deciding which family to spend the holidays with.

I do have a simple tip for planning your future holidays, but, first, I think it’s important to acknowledge a significant problem women have during the holidays.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Unfortunate Holiday Compulsion

I often find that when women are in relationships, they tend to spend most, if not all, of their holidays with their boyfriend’s family instead of their own.

It’s seems all too easy for many women to forget about their own family and ingratiate themselves into their boyfriend’s family.

While there’s nothing wrong with spending quality time with your man’s family, it definitely becomes a problem when your own family doesn’t get to spend any time with you.

You can’t forsake your family on every holiday. You should still spend some of your holidays with your own family.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t spend any holidays with your boyfriend’s family, you just need to maintain a balance and not forget about the people you grew up with.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tips For The Holidays

Instead of fighting over who’s family to spend the holidays with, divvy up the holidays between your two families.

Spend Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other.

If there’s a particular holiday that is more important to your partner’s family than your own, spend that holiday with them.

You could also spend Christmas with your partner’s family one year and Christmas with your family the next year. This way, each family gets to enjoy you on different holidays each year.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is Family Important To You And Your Partner?

If spending time with your family isn’t as important to you as it is to your partner, then you should spend more holidays with your partner’s family.

HOWEVER, I will say, if you highly value family and your partner doesn’t, this could be the source of a lot of conflict in your relationship.

While I do believe that you don’t have to share every single value that your partner shares in order for a relationship to work (See my post: Do You Share The Same Values?), if you value family and your partner does not, this could end up being a serious deal breaker.

If you intend to start a family with your partner one day, you’ll want him or her to value the family you’ve created.

But, if your partner doesn’t value their own family now, how much will they really value the family you create together? Think about that!

For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

How to Create A Great Online Dating Profile

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

With online dating becoming more popular and widespread, building a great online dating profile is a must!

While some people do use online dating as a superficial picture shopping forum, there are many people that actually take the time to read online dating profiles.

So, you definitely want to say a little about who you are and what you’re looking for.

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Writing About Yourself

When you’re writing in the “about yourself” section of your profile, you only need 1 paragraph.

And, this paragraph should be no more than 3-5 sentences long.

You need to think critically about who you are. Play up your best and most important characteristics.

If you’re having a hard time describing yourself, think about how your family and friends would describe you.

If you still can’t come up with anything, then reach out to friends and family and ask them how they would describe you.

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Writing About What You’re Looking For

You definitely need to seriously evaluate what you want in a partner. I’m not talking about superficial things like looks, physique, or money.

I’m talking about those important qualities that you need in a partner.

So, now is the time to distinguish between your wants and your needs!

If you need more help figuring out what you need in a partner and relationship, check out my post “Is Your Laundry List Holding You Back From Getting A Quality Man?

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is There Too Much Information On Your Dating Profile?

Ultimately, your online dating profile only needs just enough information to tantalize potential dates and leave them wanting to get to know more about you.

I’ve seen numerous profiles where people have divulged their entire life story or listed every last detail about themselves and what they like, and, unfortunately, these profiles don’t cultivate much attention.

While it is important to write about yourself and the qualities you want in a person, you never want anyone to think that they know exactly who you are based solely on reading your profile.

I know this may seem counterintuitive for some people, perhaps you thought more is better!!

But, trust me, it’s much easier for people to make snap judgments about your compatibility and whether you’re a date worth pursuing when you give too much information on your profile.

Even if you left out some small details here and there on your profile, you better believe that people will fill in those small gaps with their own assumptions. Whether those assumptions are true or not.

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Limiting Your Date Conversation?

When it comes to writing about the movies, songs, and books a person likes, I’ve seen many profiles that list well over 30-50 items and this is definitely overkill!

When you write about every last movie, song, or book you like,  you leave no room for these topics to become conversation points on your dates.

Don’t take away a lot of the great conversation you could have on your date by putting too much information on your dating profile.

Reel your dates in by leaving enough curiosity to ponder, which means keep your online dating profiles short and sweet!!

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Need More Help With Your Online Dating Profile?

Do you think your online dating profile needs a makeover? Have you been using an online dating site for months, but aren’t getting the attention you want?

Or, do you need help creating your first online dating profile?

Well, Dee’s Dating Diary is here to help! I can help transform your profile from a dud to a stud!

Give yourself a fighting chance with online dating, contact Dee’s Dating Diary today at Dee@DeesDatingDiary.com.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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5 Tips For Better Online Dating Profile Pictures

Has Online Dating Changed The Dating Game?

Are You Turning Men or Women Off On Dates?

5 Tips For Better Online Dating Profile Pictures

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you create a profile on an online dating website, you hope that you’ll get lots of messages and meet your perfect match.

But, what many people don’t realize when they create their online dating profiles is that your profile pictures are the most important aspect of your dating profile.

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Online Dating Increases Superficiality 

There’s something about online dating that enables and even pushes people to use it in a superficial way.

Perhaps it’s the structure of having pages that show tons of profiles with a quick synopsis consisting of just a picture, location, and tagline, that promotes the behavior of picking dates or determining interest based on pictures alone.

While there shouldn’t be such a strong emphasis on profile pictures, the reality is, most people pick online dates based solely on profile pictures.

Many people won’t take the time to read your entire profile, but they will definitely go through all of your pictures. Well, that’s if your main profile picture has caught their attention in the first place.

Although you don’t want to date someone who picks dates based on looks alone, the sad truth is, even good people fall victim to the online dating photo shopping mentality.

So, considering how important it is to have great profile pictures in order to drive attention to your online dating profile, I want to give you 5 great tips for your dating profile pics!

5 Tips For Creating Better Online Dating Profile Pictures:

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

1. No Blurry Pictures

This is pretty self explanatory, but you should never put blurry pictures of yourself on your online dating profile or you might as well hide your face altogether.

Your pictures are supposed to let people know what you look like.

But, when you put blurry pictures on your profile it can be deceiving or give someone the impression that you have something to hide. Be honest and show who you really are.

2. No Pictures of Pictures

Profile pictures are supposed to show the best you. But, even if the best picture of you only exists in hard copy and there’s no digital version, you still CANNOT take a picture of that picture.

Let’s be honest too, if your best picture is only in the form of a hard copy and there’s no digital copy as well, the picture is way too old to be used on your dating profile.

With the advancements of technology, there’s no reason why you should have to take a picture of a printed photo.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. No Pictures With People of The Opposite Sex

You should never use pictures of yourself with someone of the opposite sex because you can give people the wrong impression about the relationship you have with that person.

I know many women that have later found out that the woman in a picture with their online date was actually the man’s wife or girlfriend. And, these experiences lead women to mistrust and write off other men who have women in their profile pictures.

Even if the person in your picture is truthfully just a friend, you don’t want to give prospective matches the opportunity to make a snap judgment about who you’re with in your pictures and move on to the next profile.

Don’t give anyone the chance to fill in the blanks about the relationships you have with people in your pictures.

4. No Less Than 3 Pictures on Your Profile, But No More than 5

Your online dating profile pictures should consist of 1 or 2 head shots, 1 or 2 full body shots, and an optional activity photo that shows you doing an activity or hobby you enjoy.

You want to give a little variety in your pictures to give someone a better sense of what you actually look like. When you only use one picture or a few pictures that show you from the same exact angle, you’re not allowing a person to know what you really look like.

We all know that sometimes a person’s “best angle” isn’t necessarily a good reflection of how the person normally looks!

5. Your Pictures Cannot Be More Than A Year Old

This is a pretty straight forward tip, you know why you shouldn’t use old pictures on your dating profile. Your profile is supposed to show people what you currently look like, not what you looked like in your best years or at your lowest weight.

There is an exception to this rule though… If you’re one of those people who always looks the same and doesn’t really age, you can use an older picture of yourself as long as you look the same exact way today.

If you have pictures that are less than a year old but you’ve changed your look, then you need to take new pictures for your profile. So, if you’ve change your hair, lost a lot of weight, or gained a lot of weight, you need to take new photos and update your profile pictures!

Need More Help With Your Dating Profile Pictures?

While you don’t need to use a professional photographer to take your pictures for your online dating profile, you can use an online dating photographer who will take natural pictures that will capture your true and realistic beauty.

If you live in the UK and you’re interested in taking pictures with an online dating photographer, check out this Facebook page: Saturday Night’s Alright

If you live in the US and would like referrals for online dating photographers, email me at Dee@DeesDatingDiary.com.

Don’t forget, I’ve dedicated the month of October to online dating, so stay tuned for more great online dating tips to come!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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Has Online Dating Changed The Dating Game?

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Perfect Place To Meet Men

Do You Feel Pressure to Get Married?

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Although we live in an era where men and women are getting married at much older ages, this shift hasn’t affected men as much as it has affected women.

Society accepts men being “bachelors” for a longer period of time now. Man can live the bachelor life well into their 30’s without repercussions.

And, in contrast to women, when men are ready to settle down in a relationship in their older age, they are still considered very eligible bachelors.

But, when a woman is over 30, she isn’t necessarily viewed as a very “eligible” bachelorette.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why The Pressure to Get Married?

Most women in their mid 20’s or even earlier start feeling pressure from their family or friends to find a boyfriend, get married, and have kids.

Most of our parents and grandparents grew up in an era where getting married at a young age was the norm.

Women went from their parent’s house straight to their husband’s house and being married by 18 wasn’t seen the way it is today.

With this, you can understand why older generations don’t necessarily understand a woman’s choice to remain single past the age of about 20.

Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Double Standard

It’s a shame that as a single woman ages, sometimes her value in the eyes of the world tends to decrease while a man’s value tends to increase as he ages.

It’s a clear double standard.

Men age, cultivate their careers, and build their wealth and this makes them more desirable, eligible bachelors to women.

But, it’s not necessarily the same for women. A 40-year old man with his career together is more sought after than a 40 year old woman with her career and life together.

Image courtesy of Kongsky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Kongsky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Fight The Pressure to Get Married?

Here’s the problem…

If you do fall victim to society’s pressure to get married before you’ve met your match, you’ll quickly pick and marry a man who isn’t right for you.

You’ll settle. You’ll let go of all those things you’ve wanted for yourself and pretty much just take what you can get at the moment.

Because, time is of the essence right?

When you feel pressure to be married, you have to remember that settling for any man won’t make you happy in the long run!

Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Whose Life Is It? 

While your family and friends may encourage you to settle down with someone who isn’t right for you, you have to remember that it’s YOU who has to be with this person for the rest of your life, not your family or friends!

Your family and friends won’t have to deal with those problems that come with dating and marrying the wrong person, you will!!

Despite the world wanting you to be married, you can’t let this run you into the arms of Mr. Wrong.

Hold out for your Mr. Right, as hard as that may be! He will come along one day and the wait will certainly be worth it!!

Stay strong my single ladies!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

 

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Are You Turning Men or Women Off On Dates?

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

On first dates, you’re essentially selling your best self!

First dates are your opportunity to show a person the best of who you are, whatever that may be.

Ultimately, people fall in love for the good in someone, not the bad.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Accentuate The Positive

The reality is, you attract people with positive points not negative ones. So, you should always lead with the positive!

Once a person likes you, he or she can more easily overlook your flaws.

But, when you lay your problems on the table too soon, you can easily scare a person off.

When your dates reflect back on the time you both shared together, you want them to have positive feelings about you and the experience.

You definitely don’t want to leave a bitter taste in their mouth. But, when you bring up your problems on first dates, that’s exactly what you do!

Compare with Friendships

Think about your friendships. It’s the good things about your friends and the positive times shared that built and strengthened the friendship.

We all learn about flaws that we may not necessarily care for in our friends, but we accept those flaws. And, why is this?

It’s because of the positive foundation that the friendship was built on.

Taking this analogy back to dating… Once you’ve started to build the foundation of your relationship, a person can easily overlook your flaws and accept you for the complete person that you are.

But, when you put your flaws on the table on your first few dates, you’re just giving your date reasons to write you off for a potential relationship.

Image courtesy of Nuttakit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Nuttakit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Your Date Will Learn With Time

We all know that no one is perfect, but there’s really no point in even talking about your issues on first dates because, in time, they will all be known anyway!

A new person you’re dating should learn about your flaws naturally, in the course of dating and getting to know you. Not because you threw it in his or her face.

Putting yourself down won’t get you positive results in dating, so leave the negative feelings about yourself at the door and remember to accentuate your positives!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

 

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 Clean Up For Your Date

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The Most Important Thing to do After a Break Up

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

After a break up, an important part of the healing and learning process is reflecting back on the relationship.

The relationship playback is basically the process of playing back the relationship in your mind from the first date until the last day.

The relationship playback is the time when you’re able to see all those signs that were showing you the problems in your relationship. What once seemed like small unimportant things now look like obvious red flags you should have picked up on.

This process can be difficult and mentally exhausting. But, it truly helps you learn valuable lessons to grow from because it allows you to see your relationship more objectively since you’ve been removed from the situation altogether.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Trust Your Gut!

How many times have you had a genuine feeling that your boyfriend was cheating on you just to eventually find out that you were right?

When your gut tells you that your boyfriend is not being faithful to you, trust your gut! It’s called women’s intuition for a reason! You’ve been given a special gift that allows you to sense when things aren’t right.

These feelings are usually a result of red flags that your mind has processed, but that you didn’t really pay attention to or you purposefully ignored.

Whether it’s cheating or something else, the next time your gut tells you something isn’t right, don’t just write those feelings off because you may eventually come to regret that decision.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Relationship PlayBack
Perhaps your ex boyfriend was very controlling, but you didn’t realize it until you were already in a committed relationship.

Well, the relationship playback, if you’re open to growing, allows you to learn from your mistakes. It really is the best way to avoid carrying emotional baggage from one relationship into your future dating!

The relationship playback is where you take note of those red flags you need to watch for in the future. And, it also gives you the opportunity to recognize and correct those relationship problems that you created or enabled.

So, after a break up, make sure you do the relationship playback so you can gain the wisdom that’s necessary to attract a great, loving, and healthy relationship in the future!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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