Wondering if your boyfriend will ever marry you?
In this video, I discuss 10 signs that show you that your boyfriend will never propose to you or marry you. If you like the video, please subscribe to my YouTube Channel– A Moment with Dee Simone.
Also, check out these must-read articles:
Stop Treating Your Boyfriend Like Your Husband
Red Flag: Does He Pull Disappearing Acts?
Till Next Time,
Our past relationships have a big impact on who we choose to date in the future. Whether it leads us to dating better men or the same types of men we previously dated really just depends on whether we properly processed (mentally) our past relationships, learned the necessary lessons, and implement positive changes.
Unfortunately, most women don’t do this.
And while this perpetuates many different dating and relationship problems, today I want to focus on a more subtle problem that kills great relationships– thinking a “spark” is missing.
What Is The “Spark?”
The Merriam-Webster dictionary has several definitions for the word “spark.” However, the one that best fits relationships is this: “something that sets off a sudden force.” And still, this definition is pretty vague.
In the end though, it doesn’t really matter how any dictionary or person defines a spark because the spark is really what we individually believe it to be. One woman might believe that the spark is having butterflies in her stomach while another woman might feel that the spark is wanting to continue talking to someone for hours on end.
Ultimately, the spark is a highly subjective concept.
Every woman is looking for that spark when she’s dating a man. But how do you actually define a spark and is your definition of a spark hurting your relationships or leading you to dating terrible guys?
Are You Used To The Emotional Roller Coaster?
When women date men who treat them poorly and put them through a lot of ups and downs, which I call the emotional roller coaster, they consequently develop unhealthy attachments to these men and often confuse those feelings of extreme anxiety then satisfaction, during the ups and downs, as a strong spark and growing feelings of love.
They think those anxious feelings they have while waiting for Mr. Wrong to do right are really butterflies. But they’re not…
Then, when they meet a good man who is honest, genuine, and grounded, they think a spark is missing and, therefore, must be dating the wrong man.
Are You Really Missing A “Spark?”
But before you cut things off with your next boyfriend because you think there’s no spark in the relationship, ask yourself this–are we lacking a connection or is there just a lack of drama in the relationship?
It’s extremely important that you evaluate what you believe the spark is because some women easily confuse stability as a lack of a spark when they’ve wrongfully internalized drama as the norm.
So, the next time you find yourself wondering if you’re dating the right man because you feel that something is missing, think: am I missing a spark or am I missing the drama?
Be honest with yourself so you can openly embrace a great, stable relationship with a great man!
Till Next Time,
Dee
Want more great dating advice? Buy my new book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve! Amazon | Barnes & Noble
Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius at FreeDigitalPhotos.netAlmost every woman has at least one story about a man they were dating who didn’t return a call or text for an extended period of time. Some women have experienced a man going MIA for a day or two while others have seen men go MIA for weeks or months.
Regardless of the length of time a man is MIA though, the one thing they all have in common is that they make ridiculous excuses for their absences. There’s a ton of excuses men give in these situations, but here are 5 ridiculous reasons men give for going MIA when dating:
The “I was busy” excuse is definitely one of the most common reasons that men give for not being in contact with a woman. Yes, a lot of people have very busy lives, that’s true. But, the reality is, men make time for who they really want. It takes no more than a few seconds to send a text so there’s really no excuse for not responding to a person you’re dating for days or weeks.
Never let a man convince you that he is so busy that he can’t even take 10 seconds out of his day to reply to your text!
“I lost my phone” or “I left my phone at a friend’s house” are also common excuses men use for being MIA. Think about this though, if you left your phone at your friend’s house, you certainly wouldn’t take more than a day to get it back if not just a few hours.
And, we are all so attached to our smartphones that if we did happen to lose it many of us wouldn’t go more than a day or two without replacing it. So, if you haven’t heard back from a man in a week or more, you definitely shouldn’t be entertaining the “I lost my phone” excuse.
But, let’s just say the guy you’re dating did really lose his phone. Well, there’s still so many different ways that a man can get in touch with you. You can send emails or use social media, like Facebook, to send messages.
There are plenty of options for getting in touch with a person so losing your phone is not a legitimate excuse for going MIA!
Here’s an excuse some men use because it manipulates a woman into accepting a man’s bad behavior and allows him to escape responsibility for his actions, or lack thereof.
When a man tells you that he never got your call or text, he puts you in a position where you feel like you can’t be mad at him for not responding. You feel like you have to drop the issue and let it go. Because, technically, he didn’t have control over the situation since he didn’t get your call, voicemail, or text, right?
Wrong!! There’s one thing you need to remember, ladies. Even if a man claims that he didn’t get your call, text, or voicemail, there’s still no excuse for why he hasn’t reached out to you in days or weeks. If you’re dating a man and he is genuinely interested in you, he’s not going to go a week or more without talking to you or reaching out to you.
Know that a man who actually likes you will want to reach out and talk to you whether you call him first or not!
Some men excuse their absences with reasons like, “I had meningitis” (or some other crazy illness) or “I was in the hospital.” If a man genuinely had an illness that incapacitated him for weeks or months, it’s definitely understandable that he may not have the strength or ability to talk to you frequently.
But, if a man really likes you, he isn’t going to get sick and not say a peep to you for weeks or months. You may be too weak or unable to talk, but you can definitely send a text or get a friend or family member to do it for you!
An ill man would still want the woman he cares about in his life!
Let’s get real, texts and voicemails aren’t getting lost in the digital stratosphere! As long as you are texting the correct phone number, the recipient is going to get it. Now, your text may not always go through immediately, but it’s definitely getting to it’s destination.
So, when a man you’re dating tells you that he did text you back or he left you a voicemail and you got absolutely nothing from him, know that this is a huge red flag!
I’d love to know, what’s the craziest excuses you’ve gotten for a man being MIA? Leave your comments below!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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The 4th of July is a great opportunity to spend quality time with your friends, family, and significant other. From barbecues to seafood boils, the 4th of July has a way of bringing people together.
If you’re in a relationship and not working on the 4th of July, you’re probably expecting to spend the holiday with your boyfriend. But, what if your boyfriend would rather spend the 4th of July with “the boys?”
If you live with your boyfriend or spend a lot of time with each other, you may want to catch up with your own family and friends over the holiday. And, it’s great to stay connected with your family and friends while you’re in a relationship.
But, if you don’t get to spend a lot of time with your boyfriend because of busy schedules, the holidays are the perfect opportunity to get that quality time in. So, if you don’t spend a lot of time with your boyfriend and he’d rather spend his free time over the holiday with his boys, then this is a red flag.
Don’t be afraid to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how you feel. If you want to spend time with your boyfriend over the holiday, express this and if he still doesn’t want to spend time with you, then you may need to re-evaluate your relationship.
And, if you don’t spend the 4th of July with your boyfriend, definitely don’t mope around the house feeling sorry for yourself. Call up some friends, make plans, and go have some fun!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Happy 4th of July!
Till Next Time,
Dee
Today, I’m guest starring on The Right to REAL Love Radio show hosted by Jay Mayo! On this episode, we discuss the topic of treating your boyfriend like a husband. The topic was inspired by my article “Stop Treating Your Boyfriend Like Your Husband!” But, on the show, we take a much deeper dive into the topic and Jay Mayo really creates a multifaceted conversation through his unique male perspective.
Not only do we address the problems and difficulties associated with treating your boyfriend like a husband, but we also address important implications of this behavior that every woman should know! I had a great time recording with Jay Mayo and you’re not going to want to miss this conversation! You can listen right here:
You can also listen to the show directly on The Right to REAL Love website where you’ll also find some great notes from the show: The Right to REAL Love Radio: Are You Treating Your Boyfriend Like a Husband?
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Check out this article I wrote for Digital Romance Inc. This is a read you definitely don’t want to miss! You can find my article Here.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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When you go out on a date, you hope to have great conversation and make a great connection. But sometimes, nervous or anxious feelings prevent us from maximizing our connection with a date.
For some people, drinking alcohol seems like a great way to loosen up and make the date a more fluid and enjoyable one.
However, while alcohol may temporarily ease that nervous energy, there’s a fine line between easing your tension and destroying the possibility of making a genuine connection with your date.
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What’s Wrong With Drinking on First Dates?
Alcohol can easily have a negative effect on your date. You may become a little too loosened up by the alcohol, which could lead to a number of problems on the date.
Here are 4 problems with drinking on first dates:
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False Sense Of Making A Connection
One of the worst problems with drinking on first dates is the fact that the alcohol could lead you to feeling that you’ve made a genuine connection with your date when, in fact, you haven’t made a connection at all.
By the end of the date, you may feel much closer to your date and “connected” while your date feels annoyed, offended, or completely disinterested.
Consuming alcohol makes it more difficult to recognize those subtle clues that let you know whether someone is interested in you or not.
In fact, alcohol can make you flat out misinterpret social cues that tell you a person is uncomfortable with your behavior, language, or conversation topics
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Make A Love Connection!
In order to increase your chances of making a genuine connection or recognizing when there isn’t one, stick to ONE alcoholic drink on your date.
If you’re a more frequent or regular drinker, then you may bump this up to two. But, under no circumstances should you have more than 1-2 drinks on your first few dates!
Digital Romance Inc.
I’ve written an article for Digital Romance Inc. and it will be published on their website tomorrow! This is definitely a read you don’t want to miss!!
I’m really excited to write for Digital Romance Inc! Their “goal is to give you solutions to the entire range of relationship problems that people have been experiencing for… well, for as long as people have had relationships.”
Check out my website tomorrow for a direct link to my article!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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You’re not necessarily supposed to be in a relationship for every year of your adult life. Yet, you’ll often find women who are envious of their friends with serial relationships.
You know the women I’m talking about, the ones who are never single for more than a few weeks at a time, the ones who jump from one relationship to the very next without even batting an eye. They’ve always had serial relationships.
But, these are not women to be jealous or envious of.
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How Many Relationships Should You Have?
If you’re wondering how many relationships you’re supposed to have, realize that there is no magic number that’s going to bring you any closer to your “Mr. Right.”
Your chances of meeting the right man and getting married is not dependent upon the number of relationships that you’ve had in your life.
At the end of the day, what’s truly important is your ability to learn from your past relationships in order to recognize and change those things that prevent you from attracting quality men and healthy relationships.
If you jump from relationship to relationship without taking the time to think about the choices you made or bad behavior you accepted, you’ll continue to have bad relationship after bad relationship and you’ll face the same issues each time if not worse.
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Inhibiting Self-Awareness & Change
Some women won’t leave a bad relationship until there’s another man to latch onto and this isn’t healthy at all. In doing this, you avoid facing and addressing serious issues you have with yourself and your relationships.
Going from relationship to relationship, doesn’t give yourself enough time to heal, learn, and grow from that experience. But, why is this important?
It’s important because you’ll never learn the lessons you’re supposed to from your past relationships with men. It’s important because you’ll continue to choose the wrong kind of men and make the same mistakes over and over.
Serial relationships don’t enable you to do the deep soul-searching that needs to be done to figure out why you chose to date your ex, what mistakes you made, and what changes need to be made in your dating life.
Be accountable, be knowledgable of your actions and yourself, take the time to reflect on your relationship and heal before you look to getting into another one!
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Are You Envying A Healthy Relationship?
Some women are jealous of another woman’s serial relationships, not because those relationships are healthy or have a great dynamic, but simply because they just want a boyfriend too.
Most of the time, when women are envious of their friends with serial relationships, those relationships are usually unhealthy ones that shouldn’t be envied at all.
The truth is, you should never envy another person’s relationship. The old saying is certainly true, “The grass isn’t greener on the other side.”
Unfortunately, many women are more than happy to put up fake fronts about how great their relationship is, even if she’s miserable in it.
Therefore, you should never get caught up wanting what someone else has. You never know what really goes on behind closed doors.
Don’t Entertain Self-Doubt
When you have a friend that easily finds her next relationship, it may make you look at yourself and wonder why you aren’t able to do the same.
But, you aren’t inadequate or lacking in any way simply because you haven’t had as many relationships as your friends or because you’ve been single for awhile.
Don’t be jealous or envious of your friends that always have a man. Focus on growing as a person and taking much needed lessons from your past relationships and dealings with men so your next relationship will be a better and healthier one!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
For more great dating advice and must-read dating articles, Follow me on Twitter Here and on Facebook Here
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In this day and age, it’s quite unfortunate that you see so many women “dating down.”
But, what is dating down, you ask?
Dating down is when you date men that aren’t good for you or worthy of you.
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Common Types of “Dating Down”
If you’re dating a man that doesn’t respect and cherish you and the value that you bring to the relationship, and instead, puts you down, cheats on you, abuses you or controls your every movement, then you’re dating down.
Do you have to fight for attention? Ask your man to call you? Or remind him that you exist?? You’re dating down.
Are you an ambitious, driven, well-educated woman dating a man who isn’t ambitious or driven to, for example, learn a trade/skill, pursue entrepreneurial endeavors, or pursue a higher education? Well, you’re dating down.
Are you supporting a man that isn’t self sufficient? Whether he’s “borrowing” your money or your car, face it, you’re dating down!
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Problems With Dating Down
When you date down, you open yourself up to significant problems that you shouldn’t have to deal with.
These relationships negatively affect your self-esteem. You’ll probably start to think that this is what you deserve. That you’ll never find better.
You’ll eventually downplay your self-worth and, consequently, your self-confidence will dwindle as well.
When you’re treated poorly or stay in the wrong relationship, you’ll get desensitized to those things that you shouldn’t have to accept.
The chances of your next relationship being healthier or better is slim because you’ve gotten used to accepting less than what you need and deserve from a relationship. This easily turns into a cycle.
You may even falsely believe that it’s better to have this man than no man at all.
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Ready For Change?
Dating down can lead you to resenting the man you’re dating because he’s not who you want him to be. But, truthfully, you can only blame yourself for choosing to date a man that wasn’t right for you in the first place.
If you’ve been dating down, you owe it to yourself to let that relationship go in order to attract a man who actually deserves you. A man who appreciates your worth, a man you don’t have to financially support, a man who has ambition.
Give yourself a chance to attract a man that is on your level. Someone who is self sufficient and can pay his own bills and maintain his own car.
You’ll never have a better relationship as long as you stay in the wrong one. So free yourself now, as hard as it may be, so that you can have true happiness in the future.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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There are some women who have a preference for dating older men while other women just “happen” into these relationships.
Majority of the time, women date older men that remind them of their fathers or who fulfill some fatherly role for them.
Although this happens more so with women who grew up without a father in their life, even women who did have a father growing up find themselves looking to an older man for certain qualities or support that a father would provide.
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Dating Older Men
The truth is, you shouldn’t be dating a man because he provides you with something you’re father never did or used to when he was alive.
Dating an older man can be tricky because sometimes you’ll find that older men play just as many games with your heart as younger men, except they’re much better at the game than any youngster out there!
Older men understand women much more and can easily use that to manipulate a younger woman’s mind and emotions.
You definitely need to understand whether your feelings for an older man are genuine or a by-product of missing or craving some fatherly like fulfillment in your life.
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“Aging Out”
When you date an older man you always have to worry about whether you’re going to “age out” of the relationship.
Meaning, you’ll constantly be stressing about whether you’re getting too old for your older man.He may just have a thing for younger women.
He may like the ease that comes with dating a younger, more naive person.
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Relationship Awareness
Just be cognizant of the reasons you and your older man want a relationship with each other.
Make sure it’s coming from a healthy place on BOTH sides!
Deal with your daddy issues and make sure you aren’t replacing your father with your boyfriend.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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Many women feel they need a man to “complete” them. They’ll say a man is their “better half” or “he completes me.”
But, the truth is, a man can’t complete you. Only you can complete you! Two halves won’t actually make a whole, so you need to feel whole with or without a man.
It’s unfair to yourself to base your completeness and happiness on whether you’re in a relationship.
And, if you do, you’ll be miserable when you’re single and possibly desperate for any man who will show you attention.
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What’s The Root of the Issue?
To say that a man completes you, is to say that you have some void in your life without a man.
You have to be complete on your own before entering a relationship or this could cause other serious issues with your boyfriend.
Ultimately, dependency issues may be at the root of needing a man to “complete” you. Are you clingy or needy in your relationships?
You may find yourself not wanting to do any activities without your boyfriend. Or, maybe you don’t want him to do any activities without you.
Either way, falling victim to this “he completes me” mentality may lead you to becoming unhealthily dependent on your boyfriend and relationship.
It’s time to start evaluating yourself. You need to figure out why you think you need a man to complete you.
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Self-Actualization
If you say that a man completes you, then you’re incomplete when he’s gone. What are you when your “better half” leaves?
Why aren’t you a complete person without a man?
Honestly think about these questions so that you can help yourself come to terms with the fact that you’re an amazing woman who doesn’t need any person to complete you!
You are and always will be a whole person. You were born as a complete woman and to allow yourself to think otherwise is absurd.
A man is meant to complement who you are, NOT complete you! Remember that!!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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I know we’ve all heard the saying, “Choose your battles wisely.” But, for many women their understanding of this statement is superficial.
There are very specific reasons why you have to choose your battles wisely.
For one, if someone feels like you’re always “nagging” them, they’ll get tired of it really quickly.
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The Urge To Push
Many times when women feel like there’s a problem with something their boyfriend is or isn’t doing, they will tell him about it and push him for change, over and over again.
The problem is, one day you’ll encounter a serious problem in your relationship and when you address it, he may be so tired of constantly being told about your problems with him that he won’t genuinely hear what you’re saying, whether it’s valid or not.
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Effect of Constantly “Nagging”
Even if he does hear you out, even if you’re problem is legitimate, he may be so fed up with all the “issues” you have that he won’t be motivated to change anything else. He may think that no amount of change will be enough for you.
Now, it’s not that a man doesn’t want to know about serious issues that you’re having with him, but the truth is, when you’ve brought up too many petty, unimportant issues it’s very difficult to be taken seriously.
While communication is key in any relationship, if you choose to focus on small things that you possibly should be learning to live with, you actually weaken your voice and hurt your chance of being listened to.
If you want to choose your battles wisely, start by evaluating whether your issue is really an issue. If it’s really not a big deal, let it go. If it is a big deal or even a deal breaker, definitely address it!
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Focus On One Issue
Often times when women are addressing an issue with their boyfriend, they bring up so many other issues at the same time, that it becomes extremely difficult for their boyfriend to understand “the point” and focus on the most important issue.
If you bring up multiple issues in one discussion, your boyfriend may heavily focus on the wrong issue and upset you even more by not “getting it.”
But, this isn’t necessarily his fault. When we tie in several different problems into one discussion, it can make it much harder to logically follow what the problem is.
You actually make it more difficult to solve any one problem when you bring up other unrelated issues.
Therefore, to get the best results, you can only address one issue at a time. But, you have to fight the urge to bring up another issue immediately after one is resolved.
Although you may have smoothly resolved one issue, going through more than one issue in a day isn’t wise.
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Positive Reinforcement
After you’ve resolved an issue with your boyfriend, thank him for listening to you. Thank him for opening up and honestly discussing his feelings.
Whether you think this is necessary or not, a small display of gratitude can go a long way.
Thanking your boyfriend for having an open, honest, productive conversation is positive reinforcement for him to do it again in the future.
You punish bad behavior, so you definitely need to reward good behavior. You should always show your boyfriend appreciation for his positive behavior.
Conclusion
Remember, if you’re always bringing up petty issues with your boyfriend, most likely, when you encounter a serious problem and bring it up, you’ll be tuned out and he may feel that you’ll always have some type of problem with him.
So, choose your battles wisely by only addressing important issues and focus on just one problem at a time.
You’ll find that it’s much easier to communicate and reach a happy resolution that way.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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Aside from ending a relationship because of cheating, abusiveness, and other serious deal breakers, there are certain things a woman must do before she decides to leave a man.
I firmly believe that a woman shouldn’t leave the man she is dating until she has tried everything within her power to make the relationship work.
Male or female, no one is perfect. We are all flawed in some way. We can change some things about ourselves, but not everything. It’s up to us to TRY and change those things that we can.
It’s better to give a relationship your all so you can leave with a clear mind. No one likes looking back on a relationship thinking, “Could I have done more to make it work?”
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Boomeranging
If a woman breaks up with a man before trying everything she can to make that relationship work, she’ll most likely look back on the relationship with regret or constantly wonder whether she made the right decision ending it.
And, when a woman is unsure of whether she made the right decision in breaking up with a man, it’s all too easy to end up back in that relationship. She may end up going back to him for round 2, 3, and maybe even 4!
Boomeranging with an ex is a huge waste of your dating time! If it didn’t work out the first time, the chances of it working out in round 2, 3, or 4 are even slimmer!
Instead of boomeranging with your exes, date them once, give it your all, and if it still doesn’t work, move on and NEVER look back!
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Set A Cut-Off Date
If you’re considering leaving your relationship, but first want to try something new so you don’t look back with regret, you have to set a cut-off date for yourself!
Maybe you want to give it 2 months or maybe 6, depending on the depth of your issues. If your issue is waiting for your man to go back to school then 6 months is more reasonable than one or two.
But, never stay in a relationship for more than 2 years waiting for a ring, circumstances to change, or for your man to go back to school. Whatever your thing is, always have a cut-off date.
If you’re not happy by your cut-off date, cut your losses and end it!
You can’t try to make a relationship work indefinitely. Time flies and we’re only getting older.The sad truth is, it gets harder to find a good man and husband as we get older.
If you stay in a relationship too long after you should have left, you’re only hurting your chances of finding what you really want.
And, by staying in the wrong relationship for too long, you’ll still have regret over that relationship, but for a different reason.
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Make Positive Changes In Your Relationship
I’m not at all writing all this to say that you should stay with a man that’s isn’t right for you or treats you badly.
I’m just saying that if you aren’t completely happy in your relationship, you owe it to yourself to try to change what you’re unhappy about before jumping ship.
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Tips For Change
If you’re generally an impatient person, try showing more patience in your relationship. You can also try handling your disagreements differently.
Maybe you’re too aggressive or too submissive in disagreements. Find a balance and change up your usual approach.
When addressing your issues, use the word “I” instead of “You.” You’ll see that people are less defensive when you say “I feel…” as opposed to “You…”
Sometimes we get so used to talking to people or handling issues with them in a certain way that we continue that habit, whether it’s beneficial or not.
So, if you think you may have unanswered questions about your relationship that may lead you back to your man months or years down the line, then put some serious effort into handling things differently in your relationship now.
And, if it still doesn’t work, move on!!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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There’s a huge problem in dating that needs to be addressed. From the moment a relationship becomes exclusive, or even before this point, many women treat their boyfriends like they are their husbands.
Most of the time, you will see women do for their boyfriends what a wife does for her husband and this is not okay.
Unless there is a ring on your finger, you should never treat your boyfriend as if he is your husband!
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Playing Wife Is A Temporary Comfort
While “playing house” and “playing wife” may make you feel happier about your relationship because you exhibit that close, committed relationship held by a husband and wife, you don’t have the comfort and security that a marriage provides.
While you’re doing so much for your boyfriend to the point that you resemble the role his wife would take on, you’ll be disappointed to learn how easily and quickly a man can leave the relationship without batting an eye.
And, after the relationship ends, will you not sit there thinking, “Damn, I shouldn’t have done all that for him!” Or, “I cant believe he left me after everything I’ve done and given up for him!”
While these are legitimate questions, the real questions you need to ask yourself are, “Why did I treat this man like my husband?” “Why did I do so much for a man that wasn’t married to me?”
Instead of being the devoted wife in your next relationship, just be the girlfriend. And, know that this route will get you a ring quicker than if you act like there’s already a ring on your finger.
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The Benefits of Marriage Don’t Apply to Relationships
The root of some of your problems in dating may be the fact that you are going above and beyond the call of duty of a girlfriend.
The truth is, if a man wants ALL of you and wants you to do more than a girlfriend does for her boyfriend, then he needs to put a ring on it.
While many men will propose to women who treated them like husbands from day one, it will take you a lot longer to get a ring out of a man if you’re giving him all the benefits of a marriage without any of the accompanying obligations and commitments.
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Why Marry The Woman When You Can Get The Wife For Free?
Do you remember that old saying, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
Well, it’s true! This applies to dating and not just sex. What will inspire or encourage a man to marry you if he already has all the perks of marriage without any of it’s other obligations or “hassles?”
If a man wants more than plain old boyfriend treatment, he’s going to have to earn it and he needs to ask you to be his wife!
Think about it though, how are you going to feel if you treat your beau like he’s your husband and he breaks up with you or leaves you for another woman? Will you not regret doing too much for him?
Don’t get caught up doing a lot more in a relationship than you should! At the end of the day, the only person who ever regrets doing this is the woman, not the man!
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What Is Treating Your Boyfriend Like A Husband?
Well, there are many things that women do that reflects the role of a wife.
But, to give you an idea, it can include anything from playing house and regularly cleaning his place or doing his laundry to passing up great opportunities for the relationship.
The most significant aspect I’ve noticed women catering to men as husbands would be in their careers. For example, you could get a great job offer in another state, but choose to pass up on the opportunity to stay with your boyfriend.
I’ve seen too many women pass up on great career or business opportunities for men that had no intention of marrying them, let alone being together long-term.
As women, we can’t make decisions based on our boyfriend being in our lives and, if we do, it can really hold us back.
When it’s all said and done, no woman looks back and says, “You know, I’m glad I passed up that opportunity for him!” So, if you’re not married, you need to make decisions with only your own best interest at heart.
If a man is going to make a career or business decision, he does it, and without thinking, “Oh, I wonder if my girlfriend will be okay with this.” No, men do what they know is best for themselves and it’s time that women did the same!
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Until You’re Engaged, His Opinion Doesn’t Matter
If he’s not your husband, your opinion is the only one that matters.
I say this because 2-3 years down the line when you’re not with him, you too will think his opinion doesn’t matter. If he’s not going to be a part of your life permanently, then why would you make decisions based on him? Especially decisions that will have a lasting effect on your life.
If your boyfriend wants you to consider him when you’re making big decisions about your life, he needs to show you that he will always be a part of that life. And, he does this by asking you to marry him!
Remember to slow down and let the dating process and courtship happen naturally. Don’t force a more committed element in your relationship by playing wife. If he doesn’t want to play husband, you definitely shouldn’t play wife!
For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Dee's Dating Diary 