Are We Learning or Barely Discerning?: Serial Relationships

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You’re not necessarily supposed to be in a relationship for every year of your adult life. Yet, you’ll often find women who are envious of their friends with serial relationships.

You know the women I’m talking about, the ones who are never single for more than a few weeks at a time, the ones who jump from one relationship to the very next without even batting an eye. They’ve always had serial relationships.

But, these are not women to be jealous or envious of.

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How Many Relationships Should You Have?

If you’re wondering how many relationships you’re supposed to have, realize that there is no magic number that’s going to bring you any closer to your “Mr. Right.”

Your chances of meeting the right man and getting married is not dependent upon the number of relationships that you’ve had in your life.

At the end of the day, what’s truly important is your ability to learn from your past relationships in order to recognize and change those things that prevent you from attracting quality men and healthy relationships.

If you jump from relationship to relationship without taking the time to think about the choices you made or bad behavior you accepted, you’ll continue to have bad relationship after bad relationship and you’ll face the same issues each time if not worse.

 

Image courtesy of Photostock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Inhibiting Self-Awareness & Change

Some women won’t leave a bad relationship until there’s another man to latch onto and this isn’t healthy at all. In doing this, you avoid facing and addressing serious issues you have with yourself and your relationships.

Going from relationship to relationship, doesn’t give yourself enough time to heal, learn, and grow from that experience. But, why is this important?

It’s important because you’ll never learn the lessons you’re supposed to from your past relationships with men. It’s important because you’ll continue to choose the wrong kind of men and make the same mistakes over and over.

Serial relationships don’t enable you to do the deep soul-searching that needs to be done to figure out why you chose to date your ex, what mistakes you made, and what changes need to be made in your dating life.

Be accountable, be knowledgable of your actions and yourself, take the time to reflect on your relationship and heal before you look to getting into another one!

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Envying A Healthy Relationship?

Some women are jealous of another woman’s serial relationships, not because those relationships are healthy or have a great dynamic, but simply because they just want a boyfriend too.

Most of the time, when women are envious of their friends with serial relationships, those relationships are usually unhealthy ones that shouldn’t be envied at all.

The truth is, you should never envy another person’s relationship. The old saying is certainly true, “The grass isn’t greener on the other side.”

Unfortunately, many women are more than happy to put up fake fronts about how great their relationship is, even if she’s miserable in it.

Therefore, you should never get caught up wanting what someone else has. You never know what really goes on behind closed doors.

Don’t Entertain Self-Doubt

When you have a friend that easily finds her next relationship, it may make you look at yourself and wonder why you aren’t able to do the same.

But, you aren’t inadequate or lacking in any way simply because you haven’t had as many relationships as your friends or because you’ve been single for awhile.

Don’t be jealous or envious of your friends that always have a man. Focus on growing as a person and taking much needed lessons from your past relationships and dealings with men so your next relationship will be a better and healthier one!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

 

For more great dating advice and must-read dating articles, Follow me on Twitter Here and on Facebook Here

Your Self-Confidence Can’t Depend on Him!!

Image courtesy of Pat138241/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Pat138241/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Unfortunately, many women who are hurt by men start feeling like they aren’t as pretty or smart as they really are.

Why is it that women tend to base their self-esteem and self-confidence on how men treat them or feel about them?

The hardships women face in dealing with men, frequently force women to rethink the way they feel about themselves and this isn’t right!!

Image courtesy of Ambro/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dating Problems Are Just That

The problems you experience in dating are just that, dating problems and nothing more. These problems shouldn’t determine how you feel about yourself and your beauty!

When men have problems in their relationships, do you think they start questioning their self-worth?

Or do you think they take those problems for what they are and not let them turn into other self-esteem issues?

When you have problems in your dating life, you definitely need to do some deep thinking about what went wrong and how you may have contributed to those problems.

But, the last thing you need to start thinking is, “Am I not pretty enough? Skinny enough? Entertaining enough?”

You can’t let a man make you feel badly about those fundamental things about yourself. You felt beautiful when you first started dating him, right? So, why should you not feel beautiful when you stop dating him?

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

His Games Shouldn’t Affect Your Self-Worth

Just because a man has chosen to play games with your heart or lead you on, doesn’t mean that you aren’t a great woman! A man’s issues shouldn’t lead you to have more issues of your own.

Take responsibility for the problems you caused or enabled in your relationships, but NEVER EVER think that you are any less of the smart, beautiful, caring woman that you were when he met you.

Your self-confidence should never be a reflection of how men feel about you!

Even if he cheats on you, you can’t start convincing yourself that you aren’t pretty.

 

Image courtesy of Nuchylee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Nuchylee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Maintain Your Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem is just that, SELFesteem. It’s YOU that determines it, not a man and certainly not the world.

You have to know your worth and maintain your self-confidence no matter what you go through with men.

Now, I know it’s much easier to say don’t let men’s bad behavior affect your self-esteem than actually living it.

But, the truth is, you’re giving men way too much control over your emotional well-being and self-esteem by letting them dictate your level of self-confidence.

No matter what you go through in this world, know your worth and NEVER FORGET IT!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee!

Emotionally Unavailable? Should You Be Dating?

This is a great post by the Single Dating Diva! She addressed whether you should still date if you are emotionally unavailable.

I believe that you should still date when you are emotionally unavailable, in fact, I think it’s a great idea to continue dating! This is so that you can take note of any bad habits or negative attitudes you have developed as a result of your traumatic experiences or emotional unavailability.

By knowing and understanding your behavior and where it stems from you can work on changing or downplaying those behaviors in the future.

I think it’s easy to pick up and ingrain negative habits and attitudes as a result of the bad experiences we have gone through. Unfortunately, some of these bad habits will stick with us long after the heartache is gone. So, we definitely have to be cognizant of ourselves in this respect.

Our dates shouldn’t be more aware of our negative behaviors than ourselves. In order to change, in order to be better, we first have to know what the problem is. We have to know what is holding us back.

This is a great post, check out the Single Dating Diva’s Blog for the full post!!

Suzie the Single Dating Diva

emotionally-unavailable There are so many things to consider when you’re meeting someone new.  You have to determine if you’re attracted to them, decipher if you have a connection with them, gauge your overall interest in them … but there’s one thing you can’t tell, not right away at least, you can’t tell if they’re emotionally available.  This could be related to, but not exactly the same as, baggage.  Being emotionally available is being open and ready to enter into a relationship with someone.  Emotional availability can help or hinder a prospective relationship.  It’s a component of the glue, if you will, that holds things together.  How? Well, let me explain.

Emotional Availability – A Definition

I recently came across this article called How to Spot Emotional Unavailability  and the author spoke about the ways you can determine whether or not someone is emotionally unavailable and I completely agree and wanted…

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Bloom

Coco J. Ginger Says

004-levitation-photographyIn order to bloom the flower, she needed dirt and darkness.

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Love doesn’t hurt

No relationship is perfect and every relationship needs work, but real love does not equal pain and suffering.

The Pink Elephant Room

I’ve been single and dating for about 35 years. I cannot begin to count the number of hours I’ve spent first revisiting each thrilling moment with whomever was my newest love interest and then, soon enough, miserably dissecting the meaning behind his every word and action looking for a clue about how he felt  and where our relationship was going.  

For me, the first flush of “love” was so heady, a giggle in my tummy, a big, old endorphin rush, brain-soaking-in-chemicals, walking-on-air high. I would be obsessed and infatuated and fully charged. The feeling was deliciously addictive and it was easy to want to fall in “love” with that mysterious, smouldering stranger or smiling sweetie who made me feel soooooo good.   Image

But here’s the trouble with highs and addictions – they have a dark side. The high doesn’t last forever. Eventually I’d crash. I’d hurt. I’d be confused, needy, exposed…

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Focusing on the Process not the Dating Outcomes

It really is time to start slowing down the dating process and enjoying the ride instead of making it a long term examination that a man has to pass.

Suzie the Single Dating Diva

Focusing on the Process NOT the Dating Outcomes

I don’t know about you, but often times I get caught up in the looking at the finish line that I don’t even notice anything else that’s going on around me.  I’m like that a lot in everything I do, I just want to get to my goal as fast as I can.  I’ve also noticed that in my personal life as well.  I sometimes am so focused on the finish line, getting where I want to be that forget to stop and smell the roses and just “be” where I’m at.  I’m not the only one.  Most people are like that.

It took me a while to realize that.  It was one of the main reasons that I married the wrong person way back when.  I was so focused on being “the bride” and fitting into the “box” that I turned a blind eye to many red flags.  The…

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Biggest Mistakes Betrayed Spouses Make Recovering From an Affair

Great post!!!

Affair Resources and Advice

ooopsThis blog entry is on mistakes that Betrayed Spouses routinely make during marital recovery.  Blunders and errors of judgment that make it unlikely that a marriage will not only survive an affair..  I wrote it after reading blog after blog by Betrayed Spouses who seem to be doing all in their power to sabotage marital recovery and don’t realize it.   From my reading, thought and research, I came up with what I think are 21 things to avoid if you want your marriage to survive and thrive after an affair. 

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