To Break Up Or Not To Break Up?

Posted on March 21, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 4 years, and we have been to hell and back.. Unfortunately I cheated on him almost 2 years ago when I felt like he didn’t care about the relationship anymore and when he found out he all of a sudden cared more than anything in the world. I bring up the topic of marriage and he says that he isn’t over what I did just yet so I shouldn’t be expecting a ring anytime soon and that he’s in no rush to get married.. Should I stay or should I go? P.S he is 34 and I’m 26..

Dear Dater,

Wow, sounds like you have quite the dilemma on your hands. Here’s what I think:

If after 2 years your boyfriend still isn’t over you cheating on him, the likelihood of him ever getting past it is slim to none.

Unfortunately, cheating can really damage the health and well-being of a relationship. In your case, the damage wasn’t so far beyond repair that you couldn’t continue the relationship, but it seems to have damaged the possibility of marriage.

Is This The Relationship You Really Want?

While you are concerned about where your boyfriend sees this relationship going, you can’t forget to ask yourself whether this relationship is really right for you.

Yes, you maintained the relationship after cheating and you said that you only cheated because you felt like your boyfriend didn’t care about the relationship, but you should definitely reevaluate whether you truly want to spend the rest of your life with this man AND whether you can do that faithfully. Ultimately, your boyfriend told you not to expect a ring anytime soon and you need to take that to heart.

So, should you stay or should you go?

In my opinion, you definitely need to go. You are 26 years old and have many things ahead of you. You can’t spend the next 4 years of your life waiting to see if your boyfriend is going to get over your cheating and marry you.

If you wait around in this relationship for too long hoping for a proposal, you may come to regret that decision one day. Check out the blog post I wrote about this: How Long Is Too Long To Wait For A Wedding Ring?

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Yours Truly,Dee

Your Self-Confidence Can’t Depend on Him!!

Posted on May 3, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Pat138241/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Unfortunately, many women who are hurt by men start feeling like they aren’t as pretty or smart as they really are.

Why is it that women tend to base their self-esteem and self-confidence on how men treat them or feel about them?

The hardships women face in dealing with men, frequently force women to rethink the way they feel about themselves and this isn’t right!!

Image courtesy of Ambro/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dating Problems Are Just That

The problems you experience in dating are just that, dating problems and nothing more. These problems shouldn’t determine how you feel about yourself and your beauty!

When men have problems in their relationships, do you think they start questioning their self-worth?

Or do you think they take those problems for what they are and not let them turn into other self-esteem issues?

When you have problems in your dating life, you definitely need to do some deep thinking about what went wrong and how you may have contributed to those problems.

But, the last thing you need to start thinking is, “Am I not pretty enough? Skinny enough? Entertaining enough?”

You can’t let a man make you feel badly about those fundamental things about yourself. You felt beautiful when you first started dating him, right? So, why should you not feel beautiful when you stop dating him?

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

His Games Shouldn’t Affect Your Self-Worth

Just because a man has chosen to play games with your heart or lead you on, doesn’t mean that you aren’t a great woman! A man’s issues shouldn’t lead you to have more issues of your own.

Take responsibility for the problems you caused or enabled in your relationships, but NEVER EVER think that you are any less of the smart, beautiful, caring woman that you were when he met you.

Your self-confidence should never be a reflection of how men feel about you!

Even if he cheats on you, you can’t start convincing yourself that you aren’t pretty.

Image courtesy of Nuchylee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Maintain Your Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem is just that, SELF–esteem. It’s YOU that determines it, not a man and certainly not the world.

You have to know your worth and maintain your self-confidence no matter what you go through with men.

Now, I know it’s much easier to say don’t let men’s bad behavior affect your self-esteem than actually living it.

But, the truth is, you’re giving men way too much control over your emotional well-being and self-esteem by letting them dictate your level of self-confidence.

No matter what you go through in this world, know your worth and NEVER FORGET IT!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee!

For Cheaters and Those Who Have Been Betrayed

Posted on February 8, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Affair Resources and Advice

My Blog has a purpose: To help others while helping me deal with me. It’s part of my personal penance. So let me summarize what I’ve said to others before.