Are You Single This Valentine’s Day? Here’s What You Need To Know

Posted on February 11, 2017 by Dee's Dating Diary

If you’re single, you shouldn’t mope around the house on Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day isn’t just about couples showing each other love, it’s also about showing love to your family and the people you care about.

Brighten a loved one’s day with a thoughtful card and chocolate, have a fabulous dinner with your bestie and paint the town red afterwards. It really doesn’t matter what you do, you could stay home and binge watch TV shows all night. What’s important is that you are making yourself happy and sharing your love with the people you love.

There’s no reason to be sad on Valentine’s Day. You have to be patient for the right love to come along and while you wait you should be working on loving yourself and making yourself happy. Doing this will keep you from sabotaging your next relationship by putting pressure on your boyfriend to create happiness for you. True happiness starts within.

For more great dating advice, get my new book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Image courtesy of Gubgib at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A Great Valentine’s Day Isn’t Just For Couples!

Posted on February 14, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Valentine’s Day is certainly the most romanticized day of the year. While it’s definitely a day for love, it’s not just about being loved by your boyfriend.

Fathers and mothers often show their children love on Valentine’s Day. Whether it be with cards, gifts, candy, or simply love and affection.

Valentine’s Day is for everyone, single or not!

A Relationship Doesn’t = A Great Valentine’s Day

Too often, women put so much emphasis on having a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.

But, as a single woman, you have to remember that being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee that you’ll have a great Valentine’s Day.

Some couples have to work on Valentine’s Day, others are in long distance relationships, and some boyfriends don’t show their girlfriends love on any other day of the year.

Despite what many women might say, being single on Valentine’s Day is not a bad thing.

Being Single On Valentine’s

If you’re single, Valentine’s Day should be all about loving yourself and the people close to you!

Instead of moping around, you need to spend time with your loved ones, pamper yourself, or do the things you really enjoy.

Call your other single friends, go out, and have a great time! Or, stay in and have a great girl’s night!

If your friends are busy, then treat yourself to something special. Get food from your favorite restaurant, buy a great bottle of wine, and catch up on those shows or movies you’ve been wanting to watch.

Or, if you don’t have a problem going out by yourself, go to a nice lounge and grab a drink. You never know, you could meet a nice guy and have great conversation if nothing more.

No matter what you do on Valentine’s Day, remember that it’s about love for yourself too!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Ask Dee’s Dating Diary A Dating Question!

Posted on January 17, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Need Dating or Relationship Advice?

Do you have a dating question you’d like to ask Dee’s Dating Diary?

Whether it’s a general question about dating or a specific relationship issue you’re having, Dee’s Dating Diary has your answer!

You can submit your questions using the contact form below!

Share The Knowledge!

Your dating question will be answered in a direct email to you, but it may also appear on Dee’s Dating Diary in the form of a post.

Don’t worry, no identifying information will be put in the post and you will remain completely anonymous.

Your question will only be used to provide others with the same great dating advice that you receive!

So, stop stressing and dealing with your dating problems alone, contact Dee’s Dating Diary today!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Never Give Up Hope!

Posted on August 23, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Marcolm/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

With failed date after failed date, it’s easy to get discouraged about your chances of success in dating. Even a lack of a dating life can make a woman feel like finding her match may be hopeless.

Too often, I hear women speak negatively about their chances of finding a good man. They say all men cheat, all men are inconsiderate, or all men are dogs.

These negative statements about men and dating actually hurt your chances of finding a great relationship.

Think about it this way, if you say there are no good men out there, you will allow yourself to settle for a man who isn’t good. Why? Because you believe good men don’t exist!

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Increase Your Chances of Attracting A Great Relationship
If you want to increase your chances of attracting a great relationship, you have to first believe that it CAN happen. Your negativity about dating only hurts yourself.

While I understand how numerous encounters with crappy guys can change your perspective about the prevalence of quality men in the world, this is actually the worst thing you can let yourself do.

When you have negative thoughts and beliefs about dating, you better believe that these feelings can come out in your dates with men. Your choice of words, body language, and actions can tell a date exactly how you feel.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Stop The Negativity
So, it’s really important not to let your negativity about dating spill over into your dates. And, how do you do this? By stopping the negativity all together!

No matter what you’ve been through in your relationships, online dating, or the dating world in general, stay positive about dating so you can bring about positive results in your own dating life!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Related Articles You’ll Like

You Attract What You Put Out There

You Don’t Deserve A Good Man… Yet!!

Date The Man You Want!!

Posted on August 2, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Often times, women are so eager to have a boyfriend or get married that they allow themselves to date the first man that comes along who is open to a relationship.

Unfortunately, many women fail to determine whether a man is a quality person, let alone the right man for them.

With their sights set on marriage and kids, some women will overlook the fact that a man lacks certain important qualities.

Date The Man You Actually Want!

What many women fail to realize is that who you date is ultimately who you marry.

If he acts a certain way when you’re dating, you best believe he’s going to act the exact same way if you get married too!

Neither you nor a marriage can change a man into something that he is not.

In fact, whatever he is now may be amplified over the years so make sure a man is actually right for you before jumping into a relationship with him.

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Don’t Try To Change A Man

It’s very foolish to think you can change a man.

So, instead of dating any man that’s willing to call you his girlfriend, take the time to decipher whether a person is right for you and whether you’d be a good match.

If you feel the need to change a man, then you’re in the wrong relationship!

Save yourself the time and heartache and date the man who actually is who you want to date!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

Posted on July 19, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Last week I discussed 5 red flags that men need to pay attention to, so this week I’ve addressed 5 red flags that women should watch for. I wrote this article for Singles Warehouse and you can access it on their website here: 5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

4 Problems with Drinking on First Dates

Posted on July 5, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you go out on a date, you hope to have great conversation and make a great connection. But sometimes, nervous or anxious feelings prevent us from maximizing our connection with a date.

For some people, drinking alcohol seems like a great way to loosen up and make the date a more fluid and enjoyable one.

However, while alcohol may temporarily ease that nervous energy, there’s a fine line between easing your tension and destroying the possibility of making a genuine connection with your date.

Image courtesy of Marin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What’s Wrong With Drinking on First Dates?

Alcohol can easily have a negative effect on your date. You may become a little too loosened up by the alcohol, which could lead to a number of problems on the date.

Here are 4 problems with drinking on first dates:

You might divulge way too much information too soon (To find out what “too much information too soon” is, check out my post on the topic Here);
You might bring up inappropriate first date topics like religion, politics, exes, and more;
You might make inappropriate comments that offend your date; and
You might have a false sense that you made a real connection with your date.

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

False Sense Of Making A Connection

One of the worst problems with drinking on first dates is the fact that the alcohol could lead you to feeling that you’ve made a genuine connection with your date when, in fact, you haven’t made a connection at all.

By the end of the date, you may feel much closer to your date and “connected” while your date feels annoyed, offended, or completely disinterested.

Consuming alcohol makes it more difficult to recognize those subtle clues that let you know whether someone is interested in you or not.

In fact, alcohol can make you flat out misinterpret social cues that tell you a person is uncomfortable with your behavior, language, or conversation topics

Image courtesy of Cbenjasuwan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Make A Love Connection!

In order to increase your chances of making a genuine connection or recognizing when there isn’t one, stick to ONE alcoholic drink on your date.

If you’re a more frequent or regular drinker, then you may bump this up to two. But, under no circumstances should you have more than 1-2 drinks on your first few dates!

Digital Romance Inc.

I’ve written an article for Digital Romance Inc. and it will be published on their website tomorrow! This is definitely a read you don’t want to miss!!

I’m really excited to write for Digital Romance Inc! Their “goal is to give you solutions to the entire range of relationship problems that people have been experiencing for… well, for as long as people have had relationships.”

Check out my website tomorrow for a direct link to my article!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Who Comes First in a Relationship?

Posted on June 7, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stockimages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Many times when women are in a relationship, they put their boyfriends before themselves. They do what’s in their beaux’s best interest, but not their own.

Unless you’re engaged or married, you have to put yourself first!

Image courtesy of Ambro/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Lost Opportunities

In a relationship, you’re still two separate people with separate lives. While you try to be a part of each other’s lives, what’s in each person’s best interest may be very different.

For example, you may get a great job offer that could take your career to the next level.

However, because they job is in a different city or state, you may pass up on the opportunity in order to stay closer to your man.

While his best interest is for you to stay, your best interest is to leave and take the job. You’re best interest should take priority over his.

The truth is, you have to continue to pursue your dreams or what’s best for your career while you’re in a relationship. If you don’t, you’ll eventually regret these missed opportunities.

Image courtesy of Stockimages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Will He Move With You?

If a man loves you and feels strongly enough about you, he will follow you wherever you go. If he doesn’t, then he won’t.

Now, there is an exception to this rule. If his career has no mobility or there isn’t a demand for his expertise in the new city, then moving may mean career suicide for him.

Perhaps his career is client-based and moving would mean starting over or changing careers altogether. This is definitely something that also has to be taken into consideration.

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Stay True To Yourself

Unless there’s a ring on your finger, you’d be doing yourself a disservice to plan and live your life around a man.

It’s very important that you don’t lose sight of yourself while you’re in a relationship.

Always follow your dreams and do what’s in your best interest so that, at the end of the day, you won’t have to live with any regret over lost opportunities.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Stay Connected With Dee’s Dating Diary

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Dating Down

Posted on May 31, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In this day and age, it’s quite unfortunate that you see so many women “dating down.”

But, what is dating down, you ask?

Dating down is when you date men that aren’t good for you or worthy of you.

Image courtesy of Nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Common Types of “Dating Down”

If you’re dating a man that doesn’t respect and cherish you and the value that you bring to the relationship, and instead, puts you down, cheats on you, abuses you or controls your every movement, then you’re dating down.

Do you have to fight for attention? Ask your man to call you? Or remind him that you exist?? You’re dating down.

Are you an ambitious, driven, well-educated woman dating a man who isn’t ambitious or driven to, for example, learn a trade/skill, pursue entrepreneurial endeavors, or pursue a higher education? Well, you’re dating down.

Are you supporting a man that isn’t self sufficient? Whether he’s “borrowing” your money or your car, face it, you’re dating down!

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Problems With Dating Down

When you date down, you open yourself up to significant problems that you shouldn’t have to deal with.

These relationships negatively affect your self-esteem. You’ll probably start to think that this is what you deserve. That you’ll never find better.

You’ll eventually downplay your self-worth and, consequently, your self-confidence will dwindle as well.

When you’re treated poorly or stay in the wrong relationship, you’ll get desensitized to those things that you shouldn’t have to accept.

The chances of your next relationship being healthier or better is slim because you’ve gotten used to accepting less than what you need and deserve from a relationship. This easily turns into a cycle.

You may even falsely believe that it’s better to have this man than no man at all.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Ready For Change?

Dating down can lead you to resenting the man you’re dating because he’s not who you want him to be. But, truthfully, you can only blame yourself for choosing to date a man that wasn’t right for you in the first place.

If you’ve been dating down, you owe it to yourself to let that relationship go in order to attract a man who actually deserves you. A man who appreciates your worth, a man you don’t have to financially support, a man who has ambition.

Give yourself a chance to attract a man that is on your level. Someone who is self sufficient and can pay his own bills and maintain his own car.

You’ll never have a better relationship as long as you stay in the wrong one. So free yourself now, as hard as it may be, so that you can have true happiness in the future.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Choose Your Battles Wisely!

Posted on May 10, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I know we’ve all heard the saying, “Choose your battles wisely.” But, for many women their understanding of this statement is superficial.

There are very specific reasons why you have to choose your battles wisely.

For one, if someone feels like you’re always “nagging” them, they’ll get tired of it really quickly.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Urge To Push

Many times when women feel like there’s a problem with something their boyfriend is or isn’t doing, they will tell him about it and push him for change, over and over again.

The problem is, one day you’ll encounter a serious problem in your relationship and when you address it, he may be so tired of constantly being told about your problems with him that he won’t genuinely hear what you’re saying, whether it’s valid or not.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Effect of Constantly “Nagging”

Even if he does hear you out, even if you’re problem is legitimate, he may be so fed up with all the “issues” you have that he won’t be motivated to change anything else. He may think that no amount of change will be enough for you.

Now, it’s not that a man doesn’t want to know about serious issues that you’re having with him, but the truth is, when you’ve brought up too many petty, unimportant issues it’s very difficult to be taken seriously.

While communication is key in any relationship, if you choose to focus on small things that you possibly should be learning to live with, you actually weaken your voice and hurt your chance of being listened to.

If you want to choose your battles wisely, start by evaluating whether your issue is really an issue. If it’s really not a big deal, let it go. If it is a big deal or even a deal breaker, definitely address it!

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Focus On One Issue

Often times when women are addressing an issue with their boyfriend, they bring up so many other issues at the same time, that it becomes extremely difficult for their boyfriend to understand “the point” and focus on the most important issue.

If you bring up multiple issues in one discussion, your boyfriend may heavily focus on the wrong issue and upset you even more by not “getting it.”

But, this isn’t necessarily his fault. When we tie in several different problems into one discussion, it can make it much harder to logically follow what the problem is.

You actually make it more difficult to solve any one problem when you bring up other unrelated issues.

Therefore, to get the best results, you can only address one issue at a time. But, you have to fight the urge to bring up another issue immediately after one is resolved.

Although you may have smoothly resolved one issue, going through more than one issue in a day isn’t wise.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Positive Reinforcement

After you’ve resolved an issue with your boyfriend, thank him for listening to you. Thank him for opening up and honestly discussing his feelings.

Whether you think this is necessary or not, a small display of gratitude can go a long way.

Thanking your boyfriend for having an open, honest, productive conversation is positive reinforcement for him to do it again in the future.

You punish bad behavior, so you definitely need to reward good behavior. You should always show your boyfriend appreciation for his positive behavior.

Conclusion

Remember, if you’re always bringing up petty issues with your boyfriend, most likely, when you encounter a serious problem and bring it up, you’ll be tuned out and he may feel that you’ll always have some type of problem with him.

So, choose your battles wisely by only addressing important issues and focus on just one problem at a time.

You’ll find that it’s much easier to communicate and reach a happy resolution that way.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

8 Things Guys Secretly Love

Posted on March 6, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

James Michael Sama

Whether a guy is just starting to date a woman or is in a committed relationship with her, there are small things that she may do without thinking twice that guys secretly love.

While there are many, here are eight to start.

Laying your head on his chest.

When laying on the couch watching TV or laying in bed after a long day, it’s one of the best feelings when a woman lays her head down on your chest and puts her arm over you.

As men, we enjoy feeling as though we are being protective, and this signifies that she feels safe in our arms.

When you text him first.

There is a lot of pressure on guys to always initiate conversation. Sometimes he may not know if he’s being too pushy or texting too much – he might overthink it and not text you at all, which could…

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Snooping: Who Really Wins?

Posted on February 16, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

This is a must read post from “Sarah on the Go.” One point in this post that really stuck out to me was, “Maybe when we find ourselves needing to know more, we should just know to move on.”

While I do agree with this, it’s imperative that you make a serious evaluation before deciding to leave your partner without solid or tangible proof of cheating.

What evaluation you ask? Well, before you decide to move on you need to be able to decipher and know the difference between general insecurity or jealousy and significant red flags that a woman should be genuinely concerned about.

If it’s just general insecurity making you want to snoop, then it’s time to do some much needed introspection and attack the real root of your insecurity.

However, if your insecurity stems from your partner’s actions that raise serious red flags, then this may not be a relationship that you should continue.

Check out this post from “Sarah on the Go:” Snooping: Who Really Wins?

The Last

Posted on February 13, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

This video is amazing!

Welcome to my world.

Awwwww this video is so cute… You should watch this if you are as romantic as I am! : ) – or if you’re a guy and you want to say the sweetest thing ever to the girl you love.

Seriously, when I watched this video, I had this huge smile on my face and sparkles in the eyes… I’m not kidding!

I want to meet a guy that will make my heart melt like the one in the video! I want to fall in love with “the good guy” who will be able to make me smile everyday, who will understand me, protect me, be there for me… I think every girl want to find a guy like that, right?

Yes… I am this kind of girl who is still waiting for the perfect prince charming ahah! I am sure he is somewhere in this world : ) – Don’t…

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Five Can’t-Miss Suggestions to Design the Perfect Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 13, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Check out these great suggestions for Valentine’s Day!!

Emotionally Unavailable? Should You Be Dating?

Posted on February 13, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

This is a great post by the Single Dating Diva! She addressed whether you should still date if you are emotionally unavailable.

I believe that you should still date when you are emotionally unavailable, in fact, I think it’s a great idea to continue dating! This is so that you can take note of any bad habits or negative attitudes you have developed as a result of your traumatic experiences or emotional unavailability.

By knowing and understanding your behavior and where it stems from you can work on changing or downplaying those behaviors in the future.

I think it’s easy to pick up and ingrain negative habits and attitudes as a result of the bad experiences we have gone through. Unfortunately, some of these bad habits will stick with us long after the heartache is gone. So, we definitely have to be cognizant of ourselves in this respect.

Our dates shouldn’t be more aware of our negative behaviors than ourselves. In order to change, in order to be better, we first have to know what the problem is. We have to know what is holding us back.

This is a great post, check out the Single Dating Diva’s Blog for the full post!!

Empowerment Coach Suzie

There are so many things to consider when you’re meeting someone new. You have to determine if you’re attracted to them, decipher if you have a connection with them, gauge your overall interest in them … but there’s one thing you can’t tell, not right away at least, you can’t tell if they’re emotionally available. This could be related to, but not exactly the same as, baggage. Being emotionally available is being open and ready to enter into a relationship with someone. Emotional availability can help or hinder a prospective relationship. It’s a component of the glue, if you will, that holds things together. How? Well, let me explain.

Emotional Availability – A Definition

I recently came across this article called How to Spot Emotional Unavailability and the author spoke about the ways you can determine whether or not someone is emotionally unavailable and I completely agree and wanted…

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Bloom

Posted on February 9, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Coco J. Ginger Says

In order to bloom the flower, she needed dirt and darkness.

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First Date Tips: Dating Red Flags

Posted on February 9, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Empowerment Coach Suzie

First-Date-Tips It’s been a crazy few weeks. I’ve not only been super busy with work, there’s my blog, my business and the podcast. Wow, crazy. But, I love every minute of it. You might be wondering how I find time for dating but I do. Actually, I love meeting new people and I’ve gone on a lot of first dates lately. Yes, lots of first dates that didn’t go anywhere else for whatever reason, mostly because we didn’t have a connection and that’s perfectly OK. Others I would have loved to see again but it wasn’t in the cards. That’s perfectly OK too, just because you felt a connection doesn’t mean they did.

People put too much pressure on a first date when really it’s just that first contact to see if you want to proceed to the next level, a “pre-date” if you will. That’s why coffee or a…

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For Cheaters and Those Who Have Been Betrayed

Posted on February 8, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Affair Resources and Advice

My Blog has a purpose: To help others while helping me deal with me. It’s part of my personal penance. So let me summarize what I’ve said to others before.

If you think in any way I’m excusing affairs. I’m not. Let me be completely frank about affairs: They are 100% WRONG!

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Love

Posted on February 2, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

This post gives hope for women who are wondering if their ex ever looked back and regretted his behavior or actions. This kind of honesty is refreshing!!

The diary of a modern man

Here I am, on a nice sunday, with a beer in my hand , thinking about how my life totally went the opposite way I had imagined it would be.

It’s quite funny, because I was watching “How I met your mother”, it was the time travel episode, and at the end, Ted Mosby pulls the legendary speech to his wife ( the mother ) which was very very touching ( implying indirectly that the mother is dead in the future ).

I got so touched by it, that it made my whole mood down and then I started thinking about my love life and how having no one is the main reason of my sorrow currently.

Love is a wonderful thing. I can assure you that. We were made for this. When you are young, all what you think about is sex. When you start growing up, you still…

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No More Last Minute Dates!

Posted on February 2, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

More and more men seem to think it is okay to ask women out on a date with less than 30 minutes notice!

While I don’t agree with this, obviously there are enough women accepting these last minute dates or hang outs that men now feel comfortable and confident in doing this.

You Don’t KNOW Him

A man shouldn’t feel comfortable inviting himself to your place at the last minute.

Texting, “Hey, I’m in your neighborhood, can I come by” is not cool! Why didn’t he ask you if you wanted to hang out any earlier??

Well, it’s because he never planned on hanging out with you that night in the first place. If a man likes a woman and he actually wants to see her, he will try lock her down for a date long before the night of the date itself.

Truthfully, why on earth should a man that barely knows you feel confident enough to call you at 8pm on a Friday night to see you in an hour? It’s disrespectful in my opinion. I could have other plans or just be enjoying a night to myself.

If a man is calling or texting you at night to see you that night, this should be a huge red flag to you!!

Disclaimer: This definitely doesn’t apply once you’ve been dating for awhile or are exclusive with each other. This only applies to the beginning stages of dating.

Time to Primp & Pamper

Why aren’t you worth him putting some forethought into asking you out? Why don’t you deserve the respect of having, at a minimum, 24 hours notice before a date?

You deserve to have time to take a shower, make your hair look fabulous, pick the perfect outfit, and do your make up flawlessly! Every woman should be able to primp and pamper herself to the extent that she likes before any date.

You deserve a man that wants to plan out a date more than just a few hours in advance. Of course, once you’ve been on several dates spontaneity will be a great thing!

But, first, he has to show you that he does have respect for you in every sense of the word. And this includes, understanding that your personal free time is precious and that other people want it too.

Respect

Remember, your time is valuable regardless of whether you are spending it watching Housewives, hiking up a mountain, or simply blogging. And, he needs to know that as well.

A man will respect you more if you set boundaries for yourself. If you act like you can be walked all over and used like a rag doll, you will be. Show a man that he needs to treat you with respect if you aren’t getting it from the start.

If a man calls or texts you at the last minute and actually gets to see you, he will think you are easy and definitely won’t put any more effort into getting to know you, let alone give you much more notice for future dates.

He surely won’t respect you.

Last Minute = Last Choice

Most of the time, if a man is trying to see you at the last minute, you were his last option.

I know every woman in this world wants a man that looks at her like his first, most preferable option. No woman wants to be a man’s back up or last resort!

If you can’t be honest enough with yourself to admit that, then you definitely are not ready to change those things that may be holding you back in your dating life.

Yesterday, I had a male guest on my podcast and when we discussed last minute dates, he said something that really resonated with me. He said, “Last minute equals last choice!” This is straight from the horses mouth ladies!

Don’t Answer Your Phone on Friday and Saturday Nights

Obviously, if you’re getting a call or text on Friday or Saturday night you weren’t nearly at the top of a man’s mind.

If you just recently met, a man doesn’t actually KNOW you and should think you are busy having fun with friends or whoever on your weekend.

Even if you aren’t out with friends or on dates, maybe you’re busy with hobbies, elevating your career, blogging, or podcasting!

Either way, don’t answer his call or respond to his text. Why? Because you’re out living your life, hanging out with your friends, or just enjoying your “me time.”

By doing this and not accepting last minute dates, you will let him know that if he wants to see you he will actually have to ask to see you in advance.

No one wants to be that girl that all the guys know will answer her phone at 10pm on a Friday or Saturday night.

Return His Call or Text Later

Please don’t think I’m asking you to ignore a man’s communication altogether, I’m not saying that.

You can return his call or text hours later or the next morning and let him know you were out or busy. Keep it vague, you barely know this guy and he doesn’t need to know your every last movement despite your yearning to tell him.

For those who may see this as lying or being dishonest, I think you should really be looking at it more as holding yourself back and not giving yourself wholly and completely to someone upfront. Take time to let someone get to know you.

The Rules Book

Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, authors of The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing The Heart of Mr. Right, say that you should never accept a date for Friday or Saturday night after Wednesday.

I like this rule, but, I tweaked it. I believe that you can accept a weekend date if you’re asked by Thursday, but it depends on how much genuine interest the man has shown.

If you feel like he’s a good guy and is showing real interest in you, you can accept a weekend date if he asks on Thursday.

However, if you’re already getting the feeling that this guy might be a player or he’s “running game on you,” don’t make exceptions to this rule.

How It Works

Most of the time, by the second or third time you turn a man down for a last minute date, he will start asking you out in advance!

For the men that don’t… Well, they weren’t interested in anything serious in the first place and were just looking for some easy play.

And to these men, wish them adieu because that’s not what you’re looking for and they were never going to give you the respect you deserved anyway!

You Want More?

To hear the full discussion on this topic and hear the male perspective for yourself, check out my podcast! It’s Dee’s Dating Diary Podcast or download the episode here: Download episode

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee