In this day and age, it’s quite unfortunate that you see so many women “dating down.”
But, what is dating down, you ask?
Dating down is when you date men that aren’t good for you or worthy of you.
Common Types of “Dating Down”
If you’re dating a man that doesn’t respect and cherish you and the value that you bring to the relationship, and instead, puts you down, cheats on you, abuses you or controls your every movement, then you’re dating down.
Do you have to fight for attention? Ask your man to call you? Or remind him that you exist?? You’re dating down.
Are you an ambitious, driven, well-educated woman dating a man who isn’t ambitious or driven to, for example, learn a trade/skill, pursue entrepreneurial endeavors, or pursue a higher education? Well, you’re dating down.
Are you supporting a man that isn’t self sufficient? Whether he’s “borrowing” your money or your car, face it, you’re dating down!
Problems With Dating Down
When you date down, you open yourself up to significant problems that you shouldn’t have to deal with.
These relationships negatively affect your self-esteem. You’ll probably start to think that this is what you deserve. That you’ll never find better.
You’ll eventually downplay your self-worth and, consequently, your self-confidence will dwindle as well.
When you’re treated poorly or stay in the wrong relationship, you’ll get desensitized to those things that you shouldn’t have to accept.
The chances of your next relationship being healthier or better is slim because you’ve gotten used to accepting less than what you need and deserve from a relationship. This easily turns into a cycle.
You may even falsely believe that it’s better to have this man than no man at all.
Ready For Change?
Dating down can lead you to resenting the man you’re dating because he’s not who you want him to be. But, truthfully, you can only blame yourself for choosing to date a man that wasn’t right for you in the first place.
If you’ve been dating down, you owe it to yourself to let that relationship go in order to attract a man who actually deserves you. A man who appreciates your worth, a man you don’t have to financially support, a man who has ambition.
Give yourself a chance to attract a man that is on your level. Someone who is self sufficient and can pay his own bills and maintain his own car.
You’ll never have a better relationship as long as you stay in the wrong one. So free yourself now, as hard as it may be, so that you can have true happiness in the future.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
I object to this one yet sadly it is the one most people mean when they say a woman is “dating down”. Most of the time, if a woman prefers educated men but this time chooses a man who is not educated and has no ambition, that is not a fault – it is just the way he is. If a woman cannot accept it then she should not try to change him.
However, if she is dating him knowing he has no ambition then it is usually something that doesn’t bother her because he has other attractive qualities. Sometimes you compromise on things that are not ideal because of a person’s other attributes. That is not always “dating down”.
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Great feedback!! I completely agree that if you choose to date a man with no ambition, you definitely can’t fault him for it! It’s also never a good idea to date a man hoping that he will change or you can change him.
I also agree that women do compromise on their partner having ambition, however, I’ve also seen a lot women come to regret overlooking that when difficulties or hardships arise during the relationship. What they once thought was acceptable soon became a deal breaker. I love hearing your perspective, as usual! Thanks for commenting!!!
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Do you see any problems with women who ‘date up’?
Great question! I’ll definitely have to address this in a future post. Thanks for commenting!
I’m glad i stopped dating down 🙂
It really does save you from unnecessary drama and heartache. Thanks for commenting Geminic!!