An Online Dating Profile Mistake That Could Cost You a Date

Online dating certainly doesn’t have the stigma that it used to and millions of people are taking advantage of this simple way of meeting new people. The problem is, when you first join a dating site you are usually bombarded with dozens of messages and this makes it seems like there is an endless amount of potential dates to choose from. Consequently, you may develop a false sense of security in these seemingly endless options and begin making snap judgments or being overly critical of other people on the site.

What’s in Your Profile?

While it isn’t right to make snap judgments about people on a dating site, you have to understand that this is exactly what is happening. Therefore, it’s imperative that your online dating profile portrays you in the best possible light. However, what some people choose to write on their profiles makes it much easier for them to be written off by other people.

Although there are numerous kinds of dating profile mistakes that can cost you a date, one common profile mistake that I see with both men and women is their complaining about their online dating experiences. You have to remember that your online dating profile is supposed to be a short summary about who you are, what you’re looking for, and what you enjoy doing.  It should never mention any of your dating problems.

Save The Venting For Your Friends

Your profile is not a place for you to vent and complain about the horrible people you’ve encountered, the terrible propositions you received, the people that have tried to use you for money, the fact that not everyone on the site is actually single, or any other dating issue.

Take for example the man who says, “I refuse to pay for sex and attention.” This is really just a response to the plethora of women that have tried to proposition this man for money, but the manner that he chose to vent about this problem is innappropriate. And, how many women will take this statement the wrong way and not understand where it is truly coming from?

Unfortunately, many people use online dating like a picture book and don’t take the time to read a person’s profile. So, for the people that actually do take the time to read your profile, don’t you think they deserve to read a profile that isn’t filled with anger, resentment, disgust, or frustration over your dating experiences? Shouldn’t the people reading your profile have an opportunity to learn about you without having to learn about your hardships in dating?

Keep it Light

The overall tone of your dating profile needs to be light and positive, but when you talk about bad dating experiences or bash the people you’ve talked to, you quickly give off a negative or angry vibe. Even worse, you could give someone the wrong impression about who you really are. If you don’t want to leave a bad taste in a potential date’s mouth, don’t vent about your dating frustrations in your profile. The last thing you want is for someone to write you off before even getting to know you.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3 Ways Your Smartphone Is Hurting The Quality of Your Relationships

Smartphones and tablets have made it easier than ever to stay connected with the world at all times. But, at what cost? We get so used to checking our emails, texts, social media, and websites that we often don’t recognize the negative impact is has on our relationships.

Self-awareness of our behavior and how it impacts our relationships is an important step in the process of improving the quality of our relationships. So, here are 3 ways your smartphone is hurting the quality of your relationships:

1. You’re Not Engaged

When you’re constantly doing things on your phone, you aren’t staying in the moment. While you may feel present in a conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you’re responding to texts, the reality is, you’re not.

You can’t truly be engaged with someone when part of your attention is focused on your phone. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get carried away on your phone and not really enjoy the time you are spending with your partner. What could be an intimate or engaging evening turns out to be stale, boring, and mostly silent.

2. Your Sweetheart Feels Ignored

The attention your smartphone gets deprives your loved ones of the attention and affection they deserve. If you think being preoccupied with your phone goes unnoticed, even if it’s just while watching a movie, you’re sadly mistaken. Your boyfriend or girlfriend can definitely tell when you’re not in the moment. You’re physically there, but you’re not mentally there.

The person you’re dating shouldn’t feel like he or she has to compete with your smartphone for attention. You also don’t want your sweetie to feel like you aren’t interested in what he or she is saying because you’re half-heartedly engaged in conversations, only making one or two comments here and there.

No one likes feeling ignored or unimportant, but this is what happens when you focus on your phone more than what a person is saying.

3. It Decreases The Intimacy

Being more in tune with your phone than your sweetheart can take a toll on your relationship. You should be maximizing the time you spend with your honey and you do this by giving your undivided attention. Staying in the moment will allow you to increase the intimacy and connection between you two.

Don’t let texts, emails, social media, or candy crush get in the way of what you’re building. Unless there’s an emergency or an important business deal on the table, everything else can wait.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is Your Selfie Obsession Limiting The Intimacy in Your Relationship?

If you’re constantly taking selfies of you and your boyfriend when you’re doing things together, you can easily take away the deeper level of intimacy that you could be sharing in that moment. Instead of gazing into each other’s eyes and enjoying the moment to cultivate and maintain that spark, passion, and closeness during a beautiful meal, for example, you’re taking pictures of your food and posting it on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

You want to maintain that great connection, passion, and intimacy in your relationship and you promote these things when you take advantage of every beautiful opportunity to simply enjoy each other. When you’re snapping all those pictures and posting them on social media, what is your man doing during this time? He has to just sit or stand there and wait for you to engage with him again. It’s not fair to him and it’s really not fair to yourself.

Why should you deprive your honey and the relationship of the full attention that it deserves? All to portray some image or lifestyle to your Facebook friends?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with capturing life’s beautiful moments, but it needs to be within reason. You don’t need to capture every last second of what you are doing with your boyfriend. And, you definitely don’t need to over do it by taking a bunch of pictures just to get that perfect shot to rub in everyone’s face on Facebook. 

Start taking advantage of the beautiful moments you get with your boyfriend instead of killing them with selfies!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Ask A Date Questions About His Character

When you first start dating a man, you want to get to know as much about your date as possible. Instead of letting a man show you who he is, you try to get him to tell you. You might ask him questions about his character or how he treated his last girlfriend to get a better idea of what a relationship with him would look like.

But, doing this is actually more problematic than you probably think. So, here are 3 reasons why you shouldn’t ask the men you’re dating questions about their character:

1. Men Can Lie

In a perfect world, all men would tell the truth when they are asked questions about themselves, but we don’t live in a perfect world. So, it’s really important not to focus heavily on questioning your date about his personality, morals, character, and so forth.

When you pay attention to your date’s behavior and keep your eyes open for red flags, these questions will be answered for you. Which brings me to my next point…

2. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

We’ve all heard this saying, it’s nothing new, but actions really do speak louder than words! If you ask your dates about themselves, they could easily just tell you what you want to hear. Don’t get caught up putting a man through investigative questioning because his behavior will tell you everything in the end. 

Remember, a man can show you who he is much better than he could ever tell you!

3. You May Blindly Rely On His Answers 

When you focus your energy on questioning a man about his character, it’s really easy to have a false sense of confidence in his answers. Naturally, we want to believe what the man we’re dating says. So, instead of paying attention to his actions, we rely on his word and turn a blind eye to all the red flags that show us he’s someone else.

The truth is, when we wrongly rely on what a man tells us about himself, we only hurt ourselves in the long run through our blind trust and belief. 

The next time you’re dating a man, let him show you who he is instead of tell you who he is. Start identifying and learning about the different red flags you should be paying attention to. This way, you won’t feel the need to question your dates since you’ll be able to rely on your knowledge and understanding of men’s behavior!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Learn More About Red Flags:

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

No More Last Minute Dates!

You shouldn’t have to tell him to call you

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?

8 Signs You’re Dating A Needy Guy

Red Flag: He “Fell Asleep”

*Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5 Tips For Better Dating Body Language

Good body language is crucial in dating! And, you definitely need to know if you’re sending the wrong messages on dates with your body language. I wrote this article for Digital Romance and you can check it out here: 5 Tips For Better Dating Body Language.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

8 Tips For Keeping Your Office Romance Professional

8 Tips For Keeping Your Office Romance Professional

Office romances can definitely get messy, but if you follow my 8 tips for keeping your office romance professional, you can have your cake and eat it too! This is the ultimate office romance survival guide! I wrote this article for the SW Experts and you can check it out here: 8 Tips For Keeping Your Office Romance Professional.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

8 Signs You’re Dating A Needy Guy

 Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

For some women, the ideal man would want to spend as much time as possible with the woman he is dating. But, there’s a fine line between wanting to spend a lot of time together and just being flat out needy.

There are definitely red flags that show you a man is needy or clingy, but it’s up to you to take these red flags seriously. So, the next time you meet someone new, remember these 8 Signs That You’re Dating A Needy Guy:

1. He Calls You Several Times A Day

We all know that most men try to play it cool when they first meet a woman. They don’t get a number and immediately call it an hour later. They let the anticipation build a little, but the man who is perfectly fine with calling you several times a day after you just met is the man you need to stop seeing.

Couples that have been dating for a while talk to each other several times a day. But, there’s no reason for someone you haven’t even known for more than a few days or weeks to call you repeatedly throughout the day. And, if a man has nothing to really tell you, then why would he need to speak to you so often in the day? Because he’s needy and this is exactly who needs to be crossed off your potential match list! 

2. He Calls You Back to Back

If the guy you’re dating calls you back to back if you don’t pick up the phone, this is a huge red flag that you’re dating a needy guy. Unless there’s an emergency or you’re really close with someone, it’s not okay to blow up a person’s phone when they don’t answer it. When the guy you’re dating is comfortable enough to call you 3 or 4 times in a day with nothing important to tell you, he may eventually be comfortable enough to stalk you too!

 Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. He Texts You All Day

If a guy you just met texts you all day, this is definitely a red flag. We all know how easy it is to let a text conversation drag on throughout the entire day, but when you’re dating someone new and have nothing of substance to say, it doesn’t make sense to text all day.

4. He Always Wants To Know What You’re Doing or Who You’re With

If you’re constantly being asked, “what are you doing” or “who are you with,” you probably need to steer clear of this guy altogether. Not only are these red flags that your guy is needy, but they are also red flags that your new guy may be jealous, insecure, controlling, or all of the above.

Also, there’s a difference between someone asking “what are you doing” in trying to make conversation and asking that question because they have to know the answer to it. It’s up to you as the woman to be able to decipher the difference. So, pay attention to how often you’re being asked who you are with or what you are doing AND the way it’s being asked. This way, you can avoid an unhealthy relationship early on!

 Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5. He Always Wants To Be With You

If you’ve been dating a guy for a very short period of time, but he already wants to spend every second of every day with you, be careful because this is a serious red flag! This particular type of needy guy wants to spend so much time with you that he’s willing to invite himself out with you and “the girls,” and that’s a big problem.

Wanting to spend all of your time with someone so early on comes from a place of insecurity, whether it’s being insecure about losing a woman to another man or being insecure that a woman may lose interest if you’re not always around. This behavior could also indicate a jealous or controlling nature. Being with a man that requires this much attention will wear you out and strain your budding romance.

6. He Makes You Feel Guilty For Not Being With Him

A new guy that wants to spend every second with you is a problem, but a new guy that makes you feel bad for doing things without him is even worse. It’s pretty immature for a man to try to make you feel bad or give you a guilt trip about going out without him. In relationships, both people need a little room to breathe and live.

If you allow a man to suffocate you and let his insecurity make you feel guilty for going out to catch up with your friends or family, then you’re enabling the development of an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship. So, do yourself a favor and throw this fish back in the water.

 Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

7. He Needs Constant Reassurance

A man that constantly needs reassurance that you like him and want to date him is not the kind of man you really want to date. Of course, men do wonder what level of feelings a woman may have for him, but it’s a totally different ballgame if he’s continuously seeking validation from you.

Being with a man that requires this much pacifying is draining and ultimately hurts the possibility of having a great, healthy relationship. Remember, just because a man is insecure doesn’t mean it’s your job to make him feel secure!

8. He Wants To Be Exclusive After A Few Dates

Any man who is ready to be in an exclusive relationship with you after only a few dates, is definitely a man you MUST take your time with. It’s never a good idea to jump head first into a relationship without taking the necessary time to get to know a man.

As much as you may have “clicked” with your date, slow it down and don’t let a man pressure you into starting a relationship before you’re ready!

Now that you’re equipped with some more great dating knowledge, it’s time to get out there and date!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

More Red Flags For Your Enjoyment:

Red Flag: He Suddenly Always Has To Work Late

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

5 Red Flags Men Need To Watch For

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?