An Online Dating Profile Mistake That Could Cost You a Date

Posted on February 20, 2016 by Dee's Dating Diary

Online dating certainly doesn’t have the stigma that it used to and millions of people are taking advantage of this simple way of meeting new people. The problem is, when you first join a dating site you are usually bombarded with dozens of messages and this makes it seems like there is an endless amount of potential dates to choose from. Consequently, you may develop a false sense of security in these seemingly endless options and begin making snap judgments or being overly critical of other people on the site.

What’s in Your Profile?

While it isn’t right to make snap judgments about people on a dating site, you have to understand that this is exactly what is happening. Therefore, it’s imperative that your online dating profile portrays you in the best possible light. However, what some people choose to write on their profiles makes it much easier for them to be written off by other people.

Although there are numerous kinds of dating profile mistakes that can cost you a date, one common profile mistake that I see with both men and women is their complaining about their online dating experiences. You have to remember that your online dating profile is supposed to be a short summary about who you are, what you’re looking for, and what you enjoy doing. It should never mention any of your dating problems.

Save The Venting For Your Friends

Your profile is not a place for you to vent and complain about the horrible people you’ve encountered, the terrible propositions you received, the people that have tried to use you for money, the fact that not everyone on the site is actually single, or any other dating issue.

Take for example the man who says, “I refuse to pay for sex and attention.” This is really just a response to the plethora of women that have tried to proposition this man for money, but the manner that he chose to vent about this problem is innappropriate. And, how many women will take this statement the wrong way and not understand where it is truly coming from?

Unfortunately, many people use online dating like a picture book and don’t take the time to read a person’s profile. So, for the people that actually do take the time to read your profile, don’t you think they deserve to read a profile that isn’t filled with anger, resentment, disgust, or frustration over your dating experiences? Shouldn’t the people reading your profile have an opportunity to learn about you without having to learn about your hardships in dating?

Keep it Light

The overall tone of your dating profile needs to be light and positive, but when you talk about bad dating experiences or bash the people you’ve talked to, you quickly give off a negative or angry vibe. Even worse, you could give someone the wrong impression about who you really are. If you don’t want to leave a bad taste in a potential date’s mouth, don’t vent about your dating frustrations in your profile. The last thing you want is for someone to write you off before even getting to know you.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3 Ways Your Smartphone Is Hurting The Quality of Your Relationships

Posted on January 30, 2016 by Dee's Dating Diary

Smartphones and tablets have made it easier than ever to stay connected with the world at all times. But, at what cost? We get so used to checking our emails, texts, social media, and websites that we often don’t recognize the negative impact is has on our relationships.

Self-awareness of our behavior and how it impacts our relationships is an important step in the process of improving the quality of our relationships. So, here are 3 ways your smartphone is hurting the quality of your relationships:

1. You’re Not Engaged

When you’re constantly doing things on your phone, you aren’t staying in the moment. While you may feel present in a conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you’re responding to texts, the reality is, you’re not.

You can’t truly be engaged with someone when part of your attention is focused on your phone. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get carried away on your phone and not really enjoy the time you are spending with your partner. What could be an intimate or engaging evening turns out to be stale, boring, and mostly silent.

2. Your Sweetheart Feels Ignored

The attention your smartphone gets deprives your loved ones of the attention and affection they deserve. If you think being preoccupied with your phone goes unnoticed, even if it’s just while watching a movie, you’re sadly mistaken. Your boyfriend or girlfriend can definitely tell when you’re not in the moment. You’re physically there, but you’re not mentally there.

The person you’re dating shouldn’t feel like he or she has to compete with your smartphone for attention. You also don’t want your sweetie to feel like you aren’t interested in what he or she is saying because you’re half-heartedly engaged in conversations, only making one or two comments here and there.

No one likes feeling ignored or unimportant, but this is what happens when you focus on your phone more than what a person is saying.

3. It Decreases The Intimacy

Being more in tune with your phone than your sweetheart can take a toll on your relationship. You should be maximizing the time you spend with your honey and you do this by giving your undivided attention. Staying in the moment will allow you to increase the intimacy and connection between you two.

Don’t let texts, emails, social media, or candy crush get in the way of what you’re building. Unless there’s an emergency or an important business deal on the table, everything else can wait.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is Your Selfie Obsession Limiting The Intimacy in Your Relationship?

Posted on January 16, 2016 by Dee's Dating Diary

If you’re constantly taking selfies of you and your boyfriend when you’re doing things together, you can easily take away the deeper level of intimacy that you could be sharing in that moment. Instead of gazing into each other’s eyes and enjoying the moment to cultivate and maintain that spark, passion, and closeness during a beautiful meal, for example, you’re taking pictures of your food and posting it on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

You want to maintain that great connection, passion, and intimacy in your relationship and you promote these things when you take advantage of every beautiful opportunity to simply enjoy each other. When you’re snapping all those pictures and posting them on social media, what is your man doing during this time? He has to just sit or stand there and wait for you to engage with him again. It’s not fair to him and it’s really not fair to yourself.

Why should you deprive your honey and the relationship of the full attention that it deserves? All to portray some image or lifestyle to your Facebook friends?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with capturing life’s beautiful moments, but it needs to be within reason. You don’t need to capture every last second of what you are doing with your boyfriend. And, you definitely don’t need to over do it by taking a bunch of pictures just to get that perfect shot to rub in everyone’s face on Facebook.

Start taking advantage of the beautiful moments you get with your boyfriend instead of killing them with selfies!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Ask A Date Questions About His Character

Posted on September 26, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

When you first start dating a man, you want to get to know as much about your date as possible. Instead of letting a man show you who he is, you try to get him to tell you. You might ask him questions about his character or how he treated his last girlfriend to get a better idea of what a relationship with him would look like.

But, doing this is actually more problematic than you probably think. So, here are 3 reasons why you shouldn’t ask the men you’re dating questions about their character:

1. Men Can Lie

In a perfect world, all men would tell the truth when they are asked questions about themselves, but we don’t live in a perfect world. So, it’s really important not to focus heavily on questioning your date about his personality, morals, character, and so forth.

When you pay attention to your date’s behavior and keep your eyes open for red flags, these questions will be answered for you. Which brings me to my next point…

2. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

We’ve all heard this saying, it’s nothing new, but actions really do speak louder than words! If you ask your dates about themselves, they could easily just tell you what you want to hear. Don’t get caught up putting a man through investigative questioning because his behavior will tell you everything in the end.

Remember, a man can show you who he is much better than he could ever tell you!

3. You May Blindly Rely On His Answers

When you focus your energy on questioning a man about his character, it’s really easy to have a false sense of confidence in his answers. Naturally, we want to believe what the man we’re dating says. So, instead of paying attention to his actions, we rely on his word and turn a blind eye to all the red flags that show us he’s someone else.

The truth is, when we wrongly rely on what a man tells us about himself, we only hurt ourselves in the long run through our blind trust and belief.

The next time you’re dating a man, let him show you who he is instead of tell you who he is. Start identifying and learning about the different red flags you should be paying attention to. This way, you won’t feel the need to question your dates since you’ll be able to rely on your knowledge and understanding of men’s behavior!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Learn More About Red Flags:

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

No More Last Minute Dates!

You shouldn’t have to tell him to call you

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?

8 Signs You’re Dating A Needy Guy

Red Flag: He “Fell Asleep”

*Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5 Tips For Better Dating Body Language

Posted on August 22, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Good body language is crucial in dating! And, you definitely need to know if you’re sending the wrong messages on dates with your body language. I wrote this article for Digital Romance and you can check it out here: 5 Tips For Better Dating Body Language.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

8 Tips For Keeping Your Office Romance Professional

Posted on August 15, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Office romances can definitely get messy, but if you follow my 8 tips for keeping your office romance professional, you can have your cake and eat it too! This is the ultimate office romance survival guide! I wrote this article for the SW Experts and you can check it out here: 8 Tips For Keeping Your Office Romance Professional.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

8 Signs You’re Dating A Needy Guy

Posted on August 1, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

For some women, the ideal man would want to spend as much time as possible with the woman he is dating. But, there’s a fine line between wanting to spend a lot of time together and just being flat out needy.

There are definitely red flags that show you a man is needy or clingy, but it’s up to you to take these red flags seriously. So, the next time you meet someone new, remember these 8 Signs That You’re Dating A Needy Guy:

1. He Calls You Several Times A Day

We all know that most men try to play it cool when they first meet a woman. They don’t get a number and immediately call it an hour later. They let the anticipation build a little, but the man who is perfectly fine with calling you several times a day after you just met is the man you need to stop seeing.

Couples that have been dating for a while talk to each other several times a day. But, there’s no reason for someone you haven’t even known for more than a few days or weeks to call you repeatedly throughout the day. And, if a man has nothing to really tell you, then why would he need to speak to you so often in the day? Because he’s needy and this is exactly who needs to be crossed off your potential match list!

2. He Calls You Back to Back

If the guy you’re dating calls you back to back if you don’t pick up the phone, this is a huge red flag that you’re dating a needy guy. Unless there’s an emergency or you’re really close with someone, it’s not okay to blow up a person’s phone when they don’t answer it. When the guy you’re dating is comfortable enough to call you 3 or 4 times in a day with nothing important to tell you, he may eventually be comfortable enough to stalk you too!

Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. He Texts You All Day

If a guy you just met texts you all day, this is definitely a red flag. We all know how easy it is to let a text conversation drag on throughout the entire day, but when you’re dating someone new and have nothing of substance to say, it doesn’t make sense to text all day.

4. He Always Wants To Know What You’re Doing or Who You’re With

If you’re constantly being asked, “what are you doing” or “who are you with,” you probably need to steer clear of this guy altogether. Not only are these red flags that your guy is needy, but they are also red flags that your new guy may be jealous, insecure, controlling, or all of the above.

Also, there’s a difference between someone asking “what are you doing” in trying to make conversation and asking that question because they have to know the answer to it. It’s up to you as the woman to be able to decipher the difference. So, pay attention to how often you’re being asked who you are with or what you are doing AND the way it’s being asked. This way, you can avoid an unhealthy relationship early on!

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5. He Always Wants To Be With You

If you’ve been dating a guy for a very short period of time, but he already wants to spend every second of every day with you, be careful because this is a serious red flag! This particular type of needy guy wants to spend so much time with you that he’s willing to invite himself out with you and “the girls,” and that’s a big problem.

Wanting to spend all of your time with someone so early on comes from a place of insecurity, whether it’s being insecure about losing a woman to another man or being insecure that a woman may lose interest if you’re not always around. This behavior could also indicate a jealous or controlling nature. Being with a man that requires this much attention will wear you out and strain your budding romance.

6. He Makes You Feel Guilty For Not Being With Him

A new guy that wants to spend every second with you is a problem, but a new guy that makes you feel bad for doing things without him is even worse. It’s pretty immature for a man to try to make you feel bad or give you a guilt trip about going out without him. In relationships, both people need a little room to breathe and live.

If you allow a man to suffocate you and let his insecurity make you feel guilty for going out to catch up with your friends or family, then you’re enabling the development of an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship. So, do yourself a favor and throw this fish back in the water.

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

7. He Needs Constant Reassurance

A man that constantly needs reassurance that you like him and want to date him is not the kind of man you really want to date. Of course, men do wonder what level of feelings a woman may have for him, but it’s a totally different ballgame if he’s continuously seeking validation from you.

Being with a man that requires this much pacifying is draining and ultimately hurts the possibility of having a great, healthy relationship. Remember, just because a man is insecure doesn’t mean it’s your job to make him feel secure!

8. He Wants To Be Exclusive After A Few Dates

Any man who is ready to be in an exclusive relationship with you after only a few dates, is definitely a man you MUST take your time with. It’s never a good idea to jump head first into a relationship without taking the necessary time to get to know a man.

As much as you may have “clicked” with your date, slow it down and don’t let a man pressure you into starting a relationship before you’re ready!

Now that you’re equipped with some more great dating knowledge, it’s time to get out there and date!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

More Red Flags For Your Enjoyment:

Red Flag: He Suddenly Always Has To Work Late

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

5 Red Flags Men Need To Watch For

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?

3 Ways Women Play The Victim When Dating

Posted on July 25, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Sakhorn38 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Every woman wants a great relationship, but not every woman is willing to put in the necessary work to get there. Although dating can be tough, you can make it more difficult than it has to be. If you want to do better in dating, you’re going to have to get past these 3 Ways Women Play The Victim When Dating:

1. Dating The Same Type of Men

Dating the same type of men and expecting different results is unrealistic. You set yourself up for failure by dating the same type of men if previous relationships with those kind of men have never worked out.

It’s all too easy to play the victim when you allow yourself to be hurt repetitively. Your friends will comfort you after you’ve been wronged or cheated on, but how many of your friends will tell you that you should have known these problems would come up because you knew the type of person this man was?

While friends want to be there for us after break ups and during fights in a relationship, friends can do you a disservice by not helping you see that you are enabling your own relationship and dating problems. Once you get out of the habit of picking the same kind of men to date, you’ll soon see that not every man will hurt you like your exes.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

2. Saying That ALL Men Are Dogs

If you believe that “all men are dogs” or “all men cheat” then what will you accept from men? Cheating and bad behavior, right? When you think this way, you’ll allow yourself to date “dogs” and cheaters. You’ll settle for the wrong man because you believe that a good man doesn’t exist. You believe all men will treat you badly.

But, the worst thing you can do is convince yourself that all men are bad. In doing this, you’ll prevent yourself from meeting a good man and having a great relationship. This type of thinking allows you to date an unworthy man without taking responsibility for making this dating choice in the first place.

As a woman, you have to know that your dating life is in YOUR hands. Don’t just choose to date the first man that comes along just because he is there. Be scrutinizing, use your best judgment, and don’t date men that you know are going to hurt you!

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. Staying in Bad Relationships

When you know your relationship isn’t good for you, but you stay in it anyway, you’re basically setting yourself up to play the victim role. As much as you wish or pray, your relationship isn’t going to get better just because you want it to.

When you have serious problems in your relationship, those problems tend to play out in the relationship over and over. So, if you decide to stay in a bad relationship, you can’t act like a victim when those problems resurface.

We all know that saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!” So, if you’re going to stay in the wrong relationship, continue to date the same kind of men, or claim that all men are bad, you can’t act like a helpless victim when the obvious does happen.

Stop blaming men for your dating problems and take responsibility for the men you choose to date, then you’ll notice changes in the quality of your relationships.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Why Men Disappear Then Reappear – The Right to REAL Love Radio

Posted on July 18, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

I guest starred on The Right to REAL Love Radio Show again and I’m so excited to share this episode with you! On this show, Jay Mayo and I discussed men who disappear from women’s lives and then reappear. From why men disappear and reappear to how woman should handle these situations, we cover it all!

This is definitely a topic you don’t want to miss! Listen to our discussion below and check out Jay Mayo’s page where he has some great extras for our listeners: The Right to REAL Love Radio Show: Why Men Disappear Then Reappear.

Enjoy,

Dee

P.S. Check out my first show on The Right to REAL Love Radio Show where host Jay Mayo and I dive into the topic Are You Treating Your Boyfriend Like Your Husband?

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

5 Ridiculous Reasons Men Give For Going MIA When Dating

Posted on July 11, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Almost every woman has at least one story about a man they were dating who didn’t return a call or text for an extended period of time. Some women have experienced a man going MIA for a day or two while others have seen men go MIA for weeks or months.

Regardless of the length of time a man is MIA though, the one thing they all have in common is that they make ridiculous excuses for their absences. There’s a ton of excuses men give in these situations, but here are 5 ridiculous reasons men give for going MIA when dating:

1. “I Was Busy”

The “I was busy” excuse is definitely one of the most common reasons that men give for not being in contact with a woman. Yes, a lot of people have very busy lives, that’s true. But, the reality is, men make time for who they really want. It takes no more than a few seconds to send a text so there’s really no excuse for not responding to a person you’re dating for days or weeks.

Never let a man convince you that he is so busy that he can’t even take 10 seconds out of his day to reply to your text!

2. “I Lost My Phone”

“I lost my phone” or “I left my phone at a friend’s house” are also common excuses men use for being MIA. Think about this though, if you left your phone at your friend’s house, you certainly wouldn’t take more than a day to get it back if not just a few hours.

And, we are all so attached to our smartphones that if we did happen to lose it many of us wouldn’t go more than a day or two without replacing it. So, if you haven’t heard back from a man in a week or more, you definitely shouldn’t be entertaining the “I lost my phone” excuse.

But, let’s just say the guy you’re dating did really lose his phone. Well, there’s still so many different ways that a man can get in touch with you. You can send emails or use social media, like Facebook, to send messages.

There are plenty of options for getting in touch with a person so losing your phone is not a legitimate excuse for going MIA!

3. “I Never Got Your Call/Text”

Here’s an excuse some men use because it manipulates a woman into accepting a man’s bad behavior and allows him to escape responsibility for his actions, or lack thereof.

When a man tells you that he never got your call or text, he puts you in a position where you feel like you can’t be mad at him for not responding. You feel like you have to drop the issue and let it go. Because, technically, he didn’t have control over the situation since he didn’t get your call, voicemail, or text, right?

Wrong!! There’s one thing you need to remember, ladies. Even if a man claims that he didn’t get your call, text, or voicemail, there’s still no excuse for why he hasn’t reached out to you in days or weeks. If you’re dating a man and he is genuinely interested in you, he’s not going to go a week or more without talking to you or reaching out to you.

Know that a man who actually likes you will want to reach out and talk to you whether you call him first or not!

4. “I Had Meningitis” or “I Was In The Hospital”

Some men excuse their absences with reasons like, “I had meningitis” (or some other crazy illness) or “I was in the hospital.” If a man genuinely had an illness that incapacitated him for weeks or months, it’s definitely understandable that he may not have the strength or ability to talk to you frequently.

But, if a man really likes you, he isn’t going to get sick and not say a peep to you for weeks or months. You may be too weak or unable to talk, but you can definitely send a text or get a friend or family member to do it for you!

An ill man would still want the woman he cares about in his life!

5. “I Did Text You Back”

Let’s get real, texts and voicemails aren’t getting lost in the digital stratosphere! As long as you are texting the correct phone number, the recipient is going to get it. Now, your text may not always go through immediately, but it’s definitely getting to it’s destination.

So, when a man you’re dating tells you that he did text you back or he left you a voicemail and you got absolutely nothing from him, know that this is a huge red flag!

I’d love to know, what’s the craziest excuses you’ve gotten for a man being MIA? Leave your comments below!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Would Your Boyfriend Rather Spend The 4th of July With The Boys?

Posted on July 4, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The 4th of July is a great opportunity to spend quality time with your friends, family, and significant other. From barbecues to seafood boils, the 4th of July has a way of bringing people together.

If you’re in a relationship and not working on the 4th of July, you’re probably expecting to spend the holiday with your boyfriend. But, what if your boyfriend would rather spend the 4th of July with “the boys?”

If you live with your boyfriend or spend a lot of time with each other, you may want to catch up with your own family and friends over the holiday. And, it’s great to stay connected with your family and friends while you’re in a relationship.

But, if you don’t get to spend a lot of time with your boyfriend because of busy schedules, the holidays are the perfect opportunity to get that quality time in. So, if you don’t spend a lot of time with your boyfriend and he’d rather spend his free time over the holiday with his boys, then this is a red flag.

Don’t be afraid to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how you feel. If you want to spend time with your boyfriend over the holiday, express this and if he still doesn’t want to spend time with you, then you may need to re-evaluate your relationship.

And, if you don’t spend the 4th of July with your boyfriend, definitely don’t mope around the house feeling sorry for yourself. Call up some friends, make plans, and go have some fun!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Happy 4th of July!

Till Next Time,

Dee

5 Reasons Why You Should Date When You Don’t Want To

Posted on June 27, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dating can come with a lot of ups and downs. On some dates you don’t make a connection and on dates where you thought you made a great connection, nothing materializes from it. Dating is definitely not easy and many times it is a bit of a numbers game.

Unfortunately, you’re not going to start a great relationship from every date you go on, but you can’t get discouraged and give up on dating altogether. You have to keep putting yourself out there and trying even when you don’t want to. Why is that, you ask? Well, here are 5 reasons why you should date even when you don’t want to:

1. You Need To Know What Your Dating Flaws Are

Continuing to date when you don’t want to allows you to see what problems you might have in dating. Maybe you act a bit needy or come on too strong. Maybe you talk about the future too soon or dive into subjects you should avoid on first dates.

You have to continue dating to see what behaviors or things you are doing that are holding you back in your dating life.

2. Practice Makes Perfect

We all have things we need to work on in our dating lives and relationships, but if you don’t date you won’t be able to fix or correct those dating problems.

It takes practicing doing the right things to eliminate those bad behaviors. You can’t think that you’re going to stay out of the dating scene, meet the perfect man, and be able to act the way you should.

We all know that it’s hardest to play it right with a man that we’re really interested in. So, it’s going to take practice to get yourself to stop those bad habits that sabotage your dating life.

3. You Need To Keep Up With Dating Norms

Just like there are social norms that we all live by, there are also dating norms that people follow. What a society’s dating norms are often change and when you avoid dating you keep yourself out of the information loop.

By not dating, you won’t know what dating norms or dating etiquette has changed. For example, today, it’s pretty common for men to send a “good morning” text now. However, some men send these texts to almost every woman in their phone. So, it’s going to take more than a simple good morning text for you to know whether a man is really thinking about you or interested in you.

But, if you never date and then meet a man who starts sending you good morning texts everyday, you may put more emphasis or importance on the fact that he sends you these texts instead of taking those morning texts with a grain of salt.

4. You Don’t Want To Be Rusty

This may come as a surprise, but you actually do get rusty when you haven’t dated for a while. Not only can your flirting skills get rusty, but you could forget the most important thing about going on dates, which is making a connection with your date and having a great time together!

Some women who avoid the dating scene for extended periods of time return to dating and treat their dates like interviews for prospective husbands. When you haven’t been actively dating, it’s easy to forget that you’re supposed to have fun on dates and not just size a man up for marriage.

5. You Give Yourself A Chance To Meet The Right Man

As much as we want to decide when we find a boyfriend and when we get married, you really never know when you’re going to meet the right man.

Know that when you avoid dating, you’re also avoiding the possibility of meeting a great man and having a great relationship. If you want to meet a great guy, if you want to have a great relationship, you actually have to date to find this person!

The truth is, women often complain about not having a boyfriend or meeting Mr. Right, but they don’t put any effort into meeting new men or they unnecessarily turn down dates with men that could be a good match.

Whatever it is that’s preventing you from dating, remember that you have to date even when you don’t want to!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

6 Must Dos Before A Date

Posted on June 20, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

First impressions are everything because they are lasting impressions. When you go out on dates you want to make sure that you’re always putting your best foot forward. So, follow these 5 must dos before a date:

1. No Fantasizing About Your Date

Women often fantasize about dating or being in a relationship with their new date. But, you should never do this before your first date because you ultimately create unrealistic expectations for you and your date.

Your first few dates are supposed to be about getting to know each other and seeing whether you can enjoy each other’s company. You set yourself up for some serious let downs when you fantasize about a new date.

So, don’t dwell on your date or your potential future with the man. Overthinking things can sometimes sabotage yourself.

Image courtesy of TungPhoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

2. Don’t Facebook Him or Facebook Stalk Him

Don’t ask your date to be Facebook friends before you even go out on your first date. Not only should you not Facebook stalk your date, but it’s also too premature to become Facebook friends with someone you may never see again.

Despite what you have fantasized about your date, you don’t know what the future holds, so hold off on becoming Facebook friends.

If you’re already Facebook friends or your date’s profile is public, don’t start snooping on his Facebook page or liking any of his posts. While this behavior is definitely not healthy, you also don’t want to Facebook stalk your date because you could accidentally tell on yourself that you were snooping by bringing up some fact or information you shouldn’t have known.

Figure out whether you actually like your date by getting to know him instead of digging and prying into his social media life.

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. De-Stress And Unwind

You are at your best when you are calm and relaxed. People can sense stress and anxiety and the last thing you want to do is give off or transfer a lot of negative energy on to your date. So, read a book, exercise, catch up on your favorite shows, or call some friends to hang out and veg out!

If you have a hard time relaxing, go to a spa. Get a massage, get in the steam room or sauna. Do whatever you have to do to become that happy and fun woman that you really are, the woman a man can truly enjoy his time with.

But, if you’ve had a really bad day or week and you could easily take this frustration out on your date through your attitude, you may want to consider rescheduling your date for another day (See my post When You Should Cancel Your Date).

There’s nothing worse than being on a date with a woman who has a bad attitude. We all have bad days, but it should never be reflected on your dates!

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

4. Beautify Your Face

To get ready for your dates, you need to do your eyebrows and get rid of the hair on your upper lip, if necessary. If you get waxed, do it no less than 2 days before your date so there’s no remaining redness or puffiness on your face.

And, this is a great example of why you shouldn’t accept last minute dates (See my post No More Last Minute Dates!) because you need to have an adequate amount of time to prep and primp yourself before a date.

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5. Get Your Nails Done

When I say get your nails done, this includes both hands AND feet ladies! Try not to do any crazy creations with your nails on the first date. Keep your nails simple and classy.

You can show more creativity with your nails on future dates, but you have to know that there is such a thing as too much too soon (See my post One Thing That Kills A Potential Relationship is…). Let a man focus on your personality and not your nails on your first few dates.

And, it’s okay if you don’t get your nails done professionally, but if you’re not great at doing your nails then you need to find a good nail salon in your area. If you can do your own nails, at a minimum you need to trim, clean, and put some clear polish on.

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

6. Do Your Hair

You have to do your hair before your date, there’s no exceptions here ladies! You should look flawless on your dates and not like something the cat dragged in!

Whether you do your hair yourself or you get it done professionally, just make sure it looks great and adds to your beauty instead of taking away from it.

Now that you know what you need to do before your next dates, it’s time to get out there and date! Happy Dating Ladies!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Is Your Boyfriend Worth Your Time?

Posted on June 13, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

“I just read your article on men who pull the disappearing act. I am very familar with this, being my current boyfriend has done this more then I can count (12+). I know, I shouldn’t allow this, but It’s hard to explain. I want to be with him, we agree with some major issues, and he has qualities that are rare in a man. I also know it’s something he’s battling with.

On the other hand, it is extremely disrespectful to me to abandon me every time things get a little heavy. I need a man who will be by my side in hard times. Every time he does this, he comes back treating me better than ever, and I guess that’s why I’ve dealt with it for so long.

We have almost been dating for about 2 years now, and we are 3 year apart in age, I am older. We are also in our early 20’s. I just don’t know what to do. I know I deserve better, but I just can’t let him go. The cycle is everything is normal/or great, then he slowly starts taking me for granted, then things get heavy or he upsets me, then he completely shuts down and I don’t hear from him for days/weeks, then repeat.

The longest he has gone without speaking to me was 2 weeks. I can’t imagine loving someone, then at the same time purposely ignoring them for an extended period. Doesn’t he genuinely miss me in this time? Or Is he just using this time selfishly to do whatever he wants, and only comes back to me when he feels like it? I just don’t think I can deal with it anymore.

I know I deserve a man to actually WANT to be with me, and be with me through thick and thin. I mean, what happens if he does this and we are married or have children together? I’m sorry for the long message, it’s just nice to get someone else’s perspective and to just talk it out in general. Today marks a week since he ‘ran away from home’ (we live together)…”

Dear Dater,

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been going through all this and I’m happy to lend you my ear and opinion. Although, it sounds like you already know what you need to do here.

You’ve been dealing with your boyfriend’s disappearing acts for 2 years now and it’s very apparent that this is a regular pattern in his behavior. It seems that your boyfriend’s disappearances may be a result of him trying to avoid issues or problems in the relationship, but this is absolutely not conducive to having a healthy and loving relationship.

While your boyfriend does come back into the picture and treats you better than ever, it’s only momentarily. One of the most important characteristics to look for in a man you date is consistency! I say this all the time, but consistency is truly key!

When a man is inconsistent it shows you that he is not who he portrays himself to really be and you can’t depend on him. Men can only fake it for so long so their inconsistencies or disappearing acts are your red flags that this person may not be the man you actually want. Sometimes, we get so caught up in trying to get or keep a boyfriend that we often don’t ask ourselves, “is this the type of man I want to be in a relationship with or spend the rest of my life with?”

At the end of the day, your relationship is best when your boyfriend returns from his disappearances, but your good feelings are always fleeting, it never lasts. You are only in your twenties and still have your whole life ahead of you. I know it’s not easy to see the rainbow when you’re in the storm, but there are men out there that will cherish you and wouldn’t dare risk the chance of losing you by pulling a disappearing act.

In fact, a man that truly loves you will never want to leave your life, whether it’s for a few days or a few weeks. A part of having a great, loving, and healthy relationship is knowing your worth and knowing what you do and don’t deserve. The second you realize that you are worth a man staying in your life is the second that you will stop tolerating bad behavior from men, i.e. the disappearing act.

So, I want you to ask yourself, is your boyfriend really the type of man you want to be in a relationship with? If not, then it’s time to move on honey! But, when you ask yourself this question, I need you to realistically look at your entire relationship. Don’t just reflect on the good times with your boyfriend, definitely consider the good and the bad. How does he make you feel? And, I don’t mean how he makes you feel when he is laying it on thick after treating you badly and ignoring your calls and texts for days.

When you make this decision, remember how you feel every time he leaves you and you’re not even sure where he is staying. Do you feel loved then?

You’ve definitely given this relationship your all, but has your boyfriend? How much time are you willing to spend in this relationship waiting for your boyfriend to be a better man? I know it’s never easy deciding whether to break up with a boyfriend, but focus on the right things and you’ll make the right decision for you.

I wish you all the best and never forget that you’re worth a man staying in your life!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Related Posts You’ll Like:

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?

Wondering Why Men Come Back In Your Life?

Are You Downplaying His Negatives?

To Break Up Or Not To Break Up?

Ask Dee’s Dating Diary A Dating Question!

How Often Do You Check Your Online Dating Profile?

Posted on May 30, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We live in a time where we are constantly connected to technology and our phones, checking our favorite social media apps, blogs, podcasts, and plenty of other things on the internet. But, while we do spend so much time “online” some online daters forget the importance of regularly checking their online dating profiles.

If you never had intentions of giving online dating a genuine chance, then you won’t feel the need to log in to your online dating site very often. However, if you do want to give online dating a real shot, you have to realize that a consistent presence on your dating site is imperative.

Many people don’t realize that some online dating sites or apps will delete messages that users have sent you after a certain amount of time has passed. If you rarely go on your dating site, you could be missing out on meeting great people without even knowing it.

Once you’ve started a conversation with someone on your dating site, it’s even more important to consistently check your profile for new messages. A part of having success in online dating is your ability to keep the momentum of the conversation and interest going.

But, when you rarely check your messages and respond to messages weeks later, the person who contacted you could have moved on and connected with someone else.

So, if you want to see more results in your online dating life, check your profile messages every 1-2 days, at a minimum!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Dee Simone Guest Stars on The Right To Real Love Radio Show!

Posted on May 23, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Today, I’m guest starring on The Right to REAL Love Radio show hosted by Jay Mayo! On this episode, we discuss the topic of treating your boyfriend like a husband. The topic was inspired by my article “Stop Treating Your Boyfriend Like Your Husband!” But, on the show, we take a much deeper dive into the topic and Jay Mayo really creates a multifaceted conversation through his unique male perspective.

Not only do we address the problems and difficulties associated with treating your boyfriend like a husband, but we also address important implications of this behavior that every woman should know! I had a great time recording with Jay Mayo and you’re not going to want to miss this conversation! You can listen right here:

You can also listen to the show directly on The Right to REAL Love website where you’ll also find some great notes from the show: The Right to REAL Love Radio: Are You Treating Your Boyfriend Like a Husband?

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Meet Dee The Dating Coach!

Posted on May 16, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Dee Simone is your dating and life coach extraordinaire! She’s a Licensed Attorney and Certified Mediator with a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology. Dee is the creator and author of Dee’s Dating Diary. She loves working with people and helping them resolve any issues that are holding them back in dating or life in general.

Dee helps her clients recognize and work through difficult problems, enabling them to live happier lives and have more meaningful, loving, and healthy relationships. With keen insight into the behavioral aspects of dating, Dee gives her clients valuable advice and suggestions for positive change and positive results!

How Can I Help You?

Dating Coach & Life Coach

Are you struggling or having difficulty in your dating or everyday life? Schedule a one-on-one session to start your journey to a better you! In my sessions, we’ll figure out what things have been preventing you from living a fulfilling life or having a great relationship.

I will help you develop an understanding of how your thoughts, beliefs, actions, or inaction plays a role in your quality of life!

Need emergency dating advice? No problem! Use the contact form below to contact me for any of my services and be sure to include your Name, Age, Email Address, Phone Number (Optional), and how I can be of help to you!

Relationship Counseling

Are you having problems in your current relationship? Do you need the help of a relationship expert to get your relationship to a happier and healthier place?

My dating and relationship expertise provides clients with well-rounded, beneficial relationship counseling that actually produces results.

Online Dating

Is your online dating profile not getting the attention you want? I’ll help you makeover your profile and give you great tips for navigating the online dating world and having fun while you’re doing it!

Break Up Support

Breakups are tough! But, worse than a break up is not learning from the relationship and harboring emotional baggage. If your relationship ended suddenly and you have no idea why or you didn’t get the closure you need, my break up support services can help you determine where your relationship went wrong and get you the closure you need to move on.

I will help you heal, learn, and get rid of any emotional baggage you developed from a relationship. With my break up support services, you’ll get to a better you in no time!

Speaking Engagements

For speaking engagements, panels, group seminars, workshops, hosting, and more, submit a request using the contact form below or send an email to Dee@DeesDatingDiary.com.

Confidentiality

I am highly sensitive to the privacy needs of professionals, high-level executives, and individuals in the entertainment industry. Rest assured that strict confidentiality is always maintained and the names and identities of clients will never be disclosed without permission.

For great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Contact Me!

Red Flag: He Suddenly Always Has To Work Late

Posted on May 9, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

One of my favorite topics to write about are red flags. It’s really important for both men and women to be aware of the various red flags that could pop up while you’re dating or in a relationship.

When you don’t pick up on important red flags or you rationalize away the red flags you see, you ultimately set yourself up to stay in a problematic relationship.

Red Flag: He Suddenly Always Has To Work Late

If your boyfriend always has to work late, this is definitely a huge red flag! But, only in certain circumstances. If your boyfriend was working late hours when you met him, then always working late isn’t really a red flag for you.

However, if your boyfriend had normal working hours when you started dating and later into the relationship he all of a sudden has to work late all the time, this is definitely a red flag you have to pay attention to!

Unless your boyfriend got a new job, was given a promotion, or had to take on more responsibilities in his position, there’s really no reason he should have to start working late every night.

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Keep Your Eyes Open

If you notice this red flag in your relationship, don’t immediately freak out! Relax, take a deep breath, and just start paying more attention to your boyfriend’s actions.

If his working late continues for too long, it may be a situation you should candidly discuss with your boyfriend. Either way, don’t jump to conclusions. Have a simple, honest, and open conversation about how you feel.

And, remember to trust your gut instincts. It’s not called women’s intuition for no reason!

For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

More Red Flags To Read About:

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

5 Red Flags Men Need To Watch For

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?

Red Flag: He “Fell Asleep”

What’s Your Favorite Online Dating Website?

Posted on May 2, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Atibodyphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s really easy to get discouraged in dating, but it’s even easier to get discouraged with online dating. Most women get off dating sites once they feel they aren’t getting the results they want.

But, instead of giving up on online dating altogether, you should try different dating sites. There’s something for almost everyone out there.

So, for the newcomers to online dating and the veterans who feel their sites have gotten stale, here’s a list of some online dating websites you can try out:

Our Time (50+ Dating)

Alikewise (Dating Based on Book Tastes)

Big & Beautiful Singles

If you know of great online dating websites that you don’t see on this list, feel free to leave the names in a comment below!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Related Articles You’ll Like

How to Create A Great Online Dating Profile

5 Tips For Better Online Dating Profile Pictures

Not Happy With Your Online Dating Website?

5 Online Dating Don’ts

Do You Know Your Dating Flaws?

Posted on April 25, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As much as you may not want to hear this, everyone has dating flaws. The difference is in the people that recognize their flaws and actively work towards positive change. It’s true, no one is perfect and we can’t change everything about ourselves. But, for the things that we can change, we should work on them.

Everyone wants a good man or a good woman, but many people don’t think about the fact that a good man deserves a good woman (and vice versa). So, if you’re not getting the results that you want in your dating life, it’s time for some deep introspection!

You need to figure out where your dating or relationships are going wrong so that you can make an effort to improve your behavior in those areas.

Everyone wants dating tips and trick for landing a great person, but very few people are interested in bettering themselves to increase their chances of finding the one. You can have all the dating tips and tricks in the world, but if you’re not right inside, your relationship won’t be either.

Take the time to figure out what it is that has been holding you back in your dating life and work towards positive improvement. Then you can worry about tips and tricks for finding and keeping Mr. Right!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee