A lot of women put off working on themselves because they feel like “Well, if I’m not in a relationship, what’s the point?” “Who am I working on myself for?”
Well the answer to that question is YOU!
Are You a Good Woman?
Every woman wants a good man, but let’s face it: A good man deserves a good woman, period!
Get yourself together now so that when you’re ready to take that big step, a good man will be ready to take it with you!
We have to stop saying things like, “Well, it’s obvious this guy doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship with me so why should I change myself??” Or “I’m not looking for anything serious, I just want to date and have fun!”
Well, when you’re done having all that fun, those habits you’ve developed and ingrained into your way of life may be the same habits that keep you from finding and keeping a good man.
If your not interested in fixing your faults or bad habits because you’re not in a relationship or whatever the excuse, here is your reality check:
You still need to work on yourself because bad habits are hard to break and if you don’t start at least trying and practicing now, there’s not much of a chance that you’ll change years down the line!
Practice, Practice, Practice!
Ladies, we all know that it’s hardest to play it cool or follow “the rules” when you are REALLY into a man or have already categorized him as “the one.”
So, you really need to practice not doing those bad habits that get you labeled as “the stalker,”or the “crazy girl” or whatever your kryptonite is. Once you’ve been practicing for awhile, it won’t be as hard to stop yourself from doing those things you know you shouldn’t do.
There’s no need to fall apart and moan about everything you think you are not. Instead, focus on becoming the person that you yourself would want to date.
While some women are aware of the flaws and bad habits that hinder them in the dating world, many women are not. Either way, we all need to continuously work on ourselves for the better.
What is Working on Yourself?
When I say “work on ourselves,” I mean we need to do some serious introspective evaluations to determine what our bad habits or flaws are and better understand those characteristics that are holding us back in dating, love and life in general.
Perhaps, you’re extremely needy and clingy, or overly distant. Or, your first dates with men are more like interviews or interrogations more so than actual dates.
Do your insecurities or lack of self-esteem lead to you chasing men away with your jealousy or constant need for reassurance and attention?
Maybe you consciously or unconsciously let men know that you are ready to settle down and have kids like yesterday! Regardless of whether a man is actively looking for marriage, kids, and the whole shebang, you can scare him off by putting marriage and kids on the table on the first few dates. This reeks desperation!
Whatever your flaws may be, you yourself need to know what they are! That’s the only way you’ll be able to work on changing them or learn how to downplay them so they don’t negatively affect your life.
Not Everything Can Be Changed
Now, I realize that not every character flaw or bad habit can necessarily be changed, but it can be downplayed! And, for the habits that can be changed, why not change them?
Regardless of whether you’re casually dating, dating the wrong man, or not dating at all, you have to work on yourself!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
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This is beginning to be my new favorite blog. Great points.
Thanks for the snaps!! I’m glad you’re enjoying my posts!!
As a man, I can verify this. I like a girl that shows interest, but doesn’t overdo it. The every 5 second messages is quite a turn off.
This is great information to know, thanks. I love hearing the male perspective. Thanks for your feedback and I look forward to hearing more from you!