Do You Know Your Dating Flaws?

 

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As much as you may not want to hear this, everyone has dating flaws. The difference is in the people that recognize their flaws and actively work towards positive change. It’s true, no one is perfect and we can’t change everything about ourselves. But, for the things that we can change, we should work on them.

Everyone wants a good man or a good woman, but many people don’t think about the fact that a good man deserves a good woman (and vice versa). So, if you’re not getting the results that you want in your dating life, it’s time for some deep introspection!

You need to figure out where your dating or relationships are going wrong so that you can make an effort to improve your behavior in those areas.

Everyone wants dating tips and trick for landing a great person, but very few people are interested in bettering themselves to increase their chances of finding the one. You can have all the dating tips and tricks in the world, but if you’re not right inside, your relationship won’t be either.

Take the time to figure out what it is that has been holding you back in your dating life and work towards positive improvement. Then you can worry about tips and tricks for finding and keeping Mr. Right!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

The Most Important Thing to do After a Break Up

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

After a break up, an important part of the healing and learning process is reflecting back on the relationship.

The relationship playback is basically the process of playing back the relationship in your mind from the first date until the last day.

The relationship playback is the time when you’re able to see all those signs that were showing you the problems in your relationship. What once seemed like small unimportant things now look like obvious red flags you should have picked up on.

This process can be difficult and mentally exhausting. But, it truly helps you learn valuable lessons to grow from because it allows you to see your relationship more objectively since you’ve been removed from the situation altogether.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Trust Your Gut!

How many times have you had a genuine feeling that your boyfriend was cheating on you just to eventually find out that you were right?

When your gut tells you that your boyfriend is not being faithful to you, trust your gut! It’s called women’s intuition for a reason! You’ve been given a special gift that allows you to sense when things aren’t right.

These feelings are usually a result of red flags that your mind has processed, but that you didn’t really pay attention to or you purposefully ignored.

Whether it’s cheating or something else, the next time your gut tells you something isn’t right, don’t just write those feelings off because you may eventually come to regret that decision.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Relationship PlayBack
Perhaps your ex boyfriend was very controlling, but you didn’t realize it until you were already in a committed relationship.

Well, the relationship playback, if you’re open to growing, allows you to learn from your mistakes. It really is the best way to avoid carrying emotional baggage from one relationship into your future dating!

The relationship playback is where you take note of those red flags you need to watch for in the future. And, it also gives you the opportunity to recognize and correct those relationship problems that you created or enabled.

So, after a break up, make sure you do the relationship playback so you can gain the wisdom that’s necessary to attract a great, loving, and healthy relationship in the future!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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Red Flag: He “Fell Asleep”

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

Stop Being The Victim!

Are We Learning or Barely Discerning?: Serial Relationships

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You’re not necessarily supposed to be in a relationship for every year of your adult life. Yet, you’ll often find women who are envious of their friends with serial relationships.

You know the women I’m talking about, the ones who are never single for more than a few weeks at a time, the ones who jump from one relationship to the very next without even batting an eye. They’ve always had serial relationships.

But, these are not women to be jealous or envious of.

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How Many Relationships Should You Have?

If you’re wondering how many relationships you’re supposed to have, realize that there is no magic number that’s going to bring you any closer to your “Mr. Right.”

Your chances of meeting the right man and getting married is not dependent upon the number of relationships that you’ve had in your life.

At the end of the day, what’s truly important is your ability to learn from your past relationships in order to recognize and change those things that prevent you from attracting quality men and healthy relationships.

If you jump from relationship to relationship without taking the time to think about the choices you made or bad behavior you accepted, you’ll continue to have bad relationship after bad relationship and you’ll face the same issues each time if not worse.

 

Image courtesy of Photostock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Inhibiting Self-Awareness & Change

Some women won’t leave a bad relationship until there’s another man to latch onto and this isn’t healthy at all. In doing this, you avoid facing and addressing serious issues you have with yourself and your relationships.

Going from relationship to relationship, doesn’t give yourself enough time to heal, learn, and grow from that experience. But, why is this important?

It’s important because you’ll never learn the lessons you’re supposed to from your past relationships with men. It’s important because you’ll continue to choose the wrong kind of men and make the same mistakes over and over.

Serial relationships don’t enable you to do the deep soul-searching that needs to be done to figure out why you chose to date your ex, what mistakes you made, and what changes need to be made in your dating life.

Be accountable, be knowledgable of your actions and yourself, take the time to reflect on your relationship and heal before you look to getting into another one!

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Envying A Healthy Relationship?

Some women are jealous of another woman’s serial relationships, not because those relationships are healthy or have a great dynamic, but simply because they just want a boyfriend too.

Most of the time, when women are envious of their friends with serial relationships, those relationships are usually unhealthy ones that shouldn’t be envied at all.

The truth is, you should never envy another person’s relationship. The old saying is certainly true, “The grass isn’t greener on the other side.”

Unfortunately, many women are more than happy to put up fake fronts about how great their relationship is, even if she’s miserable in it.

Therefore, you should never get caught up wanting what someone else has. You never know what really goes on behind closed doors.

Don’t Entertain Self-Doubt

When you have a friend that easily finds her next relationship, it may make you look at yourself and wonder why you aren’t able to do the same.

But, you aren’t inadequate or lacking in any way simply because you haven’t had as many relationships as your friends or because you’ve been single for awhile.

Don’t be jealous or envious of your friends that always have a man. Focus on growing as a person and taking much needed lessons from your past relationships and dealings with men so your next relationship will be a better and healthier one!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

 

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Dating With Daddy Issues

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There are some women who have a preference for dating older men while other women just “happen” into these relationships.

Majority of the time, women date older men that remind them of their fathers or who fulfill some fatherly role for them.

Although this happens more so with women who grew up without a father in their life, even women who did have a father growing up find themselves looking to an older man for certain qualities or support that a father would provide.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dating Older Men

The truth is, you shouldn’t be dating a man because he provides you with something you’re father never did or used to when he was alive.

Dating an older man can be tricky because sometimes you’ll find that older men play just as many games with your heart as younger men, except they’re much better at the game than any youngster out there!

Older men understand women much more and can easily use that to manipulate a younger woman’s mind and emotions.

You definitely need to understand whether your feelings for an older man are genuine or a by-product of missing or craving some fatherly like fulfillment in your life.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Aging Out”

When you date an older man you always have to worry about whether you’re going to “age out” of the relationship.

Meaning, you’ll constantly be stressing about whether you’re getting too old for your older man.He may just have a thing for younger women.

He may like the ease that comes with dating a younger, more naive person.

Image courtesy of StockImages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Relationship Awareness

Just be cognizant of the reasons you and your older man want a relationship with each other.

Make sure it’s coming from a healthy place on BOTH sides!

Deal with your daddy issues and make sure you aren’t replacing your father with your boyfriend.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

He Can’t Complete You!

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Many women feel they need a man to “complete” them. They’ll say a man is their “better half” or “he completes me.”

But, the truth is, a man can’t complete you. Only you can complete you! Two halves won’t actually make a whole, so you need to feel whole with or without a man.

It’s unfair to yourself to base your completeness and happiness on whether you’re in a relationship.

And, if you do, you’ll be miserable when you’re single and possibly desperate for any man who will show you attention.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What’s The Root of the Issue?

To say that a man completes you, is to say that you have some void in your life without a man.

You have to be complete on your own before entering a relationship or this could cause other serious issues with your boyfriend.

Ultimately, dependency issues may be at the root of needing a man to “complete” you. Are you clingy or needy in your relationships?

You may find yourself not wanting to do any activities without your boyfriend. Or, maybe you don’t want him to do any activities without you.

Either way, falling victim to this “he completes me” mentality may lead you to becoming unhealthily dependent on your boyfriend and relationship.

It’s time to start evaluating yourself. You need to figure out why you think you need a man to complete you.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Actualization

If you say that a man completes you, then you’re incomplete when he’s gone. What are you when your “better half” leaves?

Why aren’t you a complete person without a man?

Honestly think about these questions so that you can help yourself come to terms with the fact that you’re an amazing woman who doesn’t need any person to complete you!

You are and always will be a whole person. You were born as a complete woman and to allow yourself to think otherwise is absurd.

A man is meant to complement who you are, NOT complete you! Remember that!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Your Self-Confidence Can’t Depend on Him!!

Image courtesy of Pat138241/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Pat138241/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Unfortunately, many women who are hurt by men start feeling like they aren’t as pretty or smart as they really are.

Why is it that women tend to base their self-esteem and self-confidence on how men treat them or feel about them?

The hardships women face in dealing with men, frequently force women to rethink the way they feel about themselves and this isn’t right!!

Image courtesy of Ambro/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dating Problems Are Just That

The problems you experience in dating are just that, dating problems and nothing more. These problems shouldn’t determine how you feel about yourself and your beauty!

When men have problems in their relationships, do you think they start questioning their self-worth?

Or do you think they take those problems for what they are and not let them turn into other self-esteem issues?

When you have problems in your dating life, you definitely need to do some deep thinking about what went wrong and how you may have contributed to those problems.

But, the last thing you need to start thinking is, “Am I not pretty enough? Skinny enough? Entertaining enough?”

You can’t let a man make you feel badly about those fundamental things about yourself. You felt beautiful when you first started dating him, right? So, why should you not feel beautiful when you stop dating him?

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

His Games Shouldn’t Affect Your Self-Worth

Just because a man has chosen to play games with your heart or lead you on, doesn’t mean that you aren’t a great woman! A man’s issues shouldn’t lead you to have more issues of your own.

Take responsibility for the problems you caused or enabled in your relationships, but NEVER EVER think that you are any less of the smart, beautiful, caring woman that you were when he met you.

Your self-confidence should never be a reflection of how men feel about you!

Even if he cheats on you, you can’t start convincing yourself that you aren’t pretty.

 

Image courtesy of Nuchylee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Nuchylee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Maintain Your Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem is just that, SELFesteem. It’s YOU that determines it, not a man and certainly not the world.

You have to know your worth and maintain your self-confidence no matter what you go through with men.

Now, I know it’s much easier to say don’t let men’s bad behavior affect your self-esteem than actually living it.

But, the truth is, you’re giving men way too much control over your emotional well-being and self-esteem by letting them dictate your level of self-confidence.

No matter what you go through in this world, know your worth and NEVER FORGET IT!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee!

Stop Being The Victim!

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostocki / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Ladies, we have to stop being the victim and take control of our dating lives!

Many times I hear women say, “ALL men are dogs” or “ALL men cheat.” But, the truth of the matter is ALL men AREN’T dogs and ALL men DON’T cheat.

Stop Blaming Men

You’re perception of what ALL men are is a by-product of who you have been choosing to date your whole life.

So, if you always pick the bad boy types who break your heart, of course you’ll always think ALL men are dogs, but that’s not actually the case. ALL the men YOU date are dogs!

Instead of thinking that all men are dogs that will hurt you, you need to be thinking that you aren’t going to let anymore dogs get close enough to hurt you.

Its about taking your power back and knowing that your circumstances and the outcomes of your relationships are largely due to the men you choose to date and let into your heart.

Image courtesy of Ambro/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Take Responsibility For Your Choices

We can’t blame all our problems in relationships on men. We have to take ownership of our part, which is getting into a relationship with a man we’d be unhappy with.

It’s time to take responsibility for the choices you have made in dating men and in accepting their bad behavior. Once you take responsibility for your part in the heartache, you can actually take steps towards changing how and who you pick to spend your time with and, ultimately, give your heart to.

You choose who you date, it should never be the other way around. A man shouldn’t be able to decide by himself that you are both in a relationship together.

Two people make the decision to enter a relationship, so, take ownership of your choices. If you continue to choose the same kind of man to date, you can’t expect different results in your relationships. Therefore, man bashing is definitely not the answer!

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Red Flags

Red flags are called red flags for a reason, they alert you that there is a problem, that something is not right. A red flag let’s you know that there is more going on than a man is willing to tell you.

Red flags are precious gifts to women! These are your signs that tell you whether this man is right for you. Red flags tell you more about someone and it’s your job to determine if that person deserves a place in your life.

You need to be able to spot red flags and make note of them because once a man has shown significant red flags, you have to evaluate whether continuing to date this person will make you happy.

When you learn to spot and access red flags, you’ll see that you’ll cut out a lot of unnecessary relationships that would have only caused you grief and heartache.

While you can continue to date men obliviously, you’d only be hurting yourself.

If you choose to ignore red flags and date any and every man freely, when you do get hurt, don’t start convincing yourself that “ALL men are dogs.” You don’t want this to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Let me explain…

 

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Fullfilling Prophecy

If you tell yourself and your friends that, “all men are dogs,” you’ll actually believe that every single man is a dog and feel that you have to settle down with one of these men that won’t treat you well. This allows you to continue dating dogs and, therefore, continue being hurt by them.

You have to understand the power of your words, telling yourself that all men are dogs will ultimately limit the amount of effort you put into finding a good man.

In fact, you won’t put any effort into finding a good man because in your eyes, he doesn’t exist. And, before you know it, you’ve settled for a man that doesn’t treat you with respect.

Don’t inadvertently let your dating goal be an unhappy marriage!

Start being more positive about dating and only speak positively! You’ll be amazed at how a little positivity can make you feel a whole world better about dating.

Victim Mentality

We are not victims!

The victim mentality is thinking that you have no control over getting hurt. Granted, we can’t control all hurt, but we can eliminate unnecessary heartache.

Remember, men only do to us what we allow them to. So, if men keep hurting you, then you need to do some serious introspection and figure out why you keep dating men that hurt you.

 

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

Save Yourself For a Good Man

Just because you haven’t found a “good man” to date, doesn’t mean you should settle and get into a relationship with any man that’s willing to!

Until that next great relationship comes along, try to work on yourself and keep dating!!!

Save yourself for a good man. You’ll be happy you did!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee