Is Your Selfie Obsession Limiting The Intimacy in Your Relationship?

Posted on January 16, 2016 by Dee's Dating Diary

If you’re constantly taking selfies of you and your boyfriend when you’re doing things together, you can easily take away the deeper level of intimacy that you could be sharing in that moment. Instead of gazing into each other’s eyes and enjoying the moment to cultivate and maintain that spark, passion, and closeness during a beautiful meal, for example, you’re taking pictures of your food and posting it on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

You want to maintain that great connection, passion, and intimacy in your relationship and you promote these things when you take advantage of every beautiful opportunity to simply enjoy each other. When you’re snapping all those pictures and posting them on social media, what is your man doing during this time? He has to just sit or stand there and wait for you to engage with him again. It’s not fair to him and it’s really not fair to yourself.

Why should you deprive your honey and the relationship of the full attention that it deserves? All to portray some image or lifestyle to your Facebook friends?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with capturing life’s beautiful moments, but it needs to be within reason. You don’t need to capture every last second of what you are doing with your boyfriend. And, you definitely don’t need to over do it by taking a bunch of pictures just to get that perfect shot to rub in everyone’s face on Facebook.

Start taking advantage of the beautiful moments you get with your boyfriend instead of killing them with selfies!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Testimonial: My Boyfriend Wasn’t Worth My Time

Posted on August 8, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hey Dee,

I just want to thank you for being so helpful to me through this big mess of a situation. I didn’t exactly have anyone to talk to, so thank you so much for being there. I also wanted to make an update of how things are going because I feel it could be helpful information to other girls who have also experienced the unfortunate phenomenon of the disappearing boyfriend, and I have so much advice to them from my experience.

Being in the middle of a disappearing man act is really a confusing time full of feelings of rejection and neglect, but, the thing is, its like this only when you make it. If you look at it like you said, “Is this really a man you want to be in a relationship with?” It is so much easier to realize you actually have no loss. I realize in hindsight that he really wasn’t all that great and really didn’t treat me all that great either (obviously if he could abandon me, period). I see all the red flags I blindly ignored in the beginning of the relationship, and if I had listened it would have saved me a lot of heartache.

I’ve learned that you should never ever let a man jeopardize your happiness, and to never stay in a bad relationship. Losing someone who ultimately wasn’t worth my time has empowered me as a person, and as a woman. I have so much confidence in every aspect of my self, all because I know I’m worth it.

To the women who have experienced the disappearing man, you don’t and shouldn’t want them back because you deserve a man who wants to be consistently present in your life and you are indeed worth it!

As for me, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life because the man who wasn’t worth my time made it easy for me and left. I’m getting out there and meeting all sorts of people and cute guys, and experiencing all sorts of new things I couldn’t do with him. I’ve noticed how much I’ve missed out on in that relationship and wouldn’t for the life of me ever go back to it!

I hope my story can help other women in my situation. My advice to them would be to never let someone else’s treatment of you define your worth. And also to remember you have a choice in who you date, so drop them the second they mistreat you.

Thanks so much for your help Dee! Your advice has made me realize all this, and will help me out so much in my future relationships! Like you said “it’s not easy to see the rainbow when you’re in the storm,” I’m definitely seeing the rainbow now.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Related Post:

Is Your Boyfriend Worth Your Time?

3 Ways Women Play The Victim When Dating

Posted on July 25, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Sakhorn38 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Every woman wants a great relationship, but not every woman is willing to put in the necessary work to get there. Although dating can be tough, you can make it more difficult than it has to be. If you want to do better in dating, you’re going to have to get past these 3 Ways Women Play The Victim When Dating:

1. Dating The Same Type of Men

Dating the same type of men and expecting different results is unrealistic. You set yourself up for failure by dating the same type of men if previous relationships with those kind of men have never worked out.

It’s all too easy to play the victim when you allow yourself to be hurt repetitively. Your friends will comfort you after you’ve been wronged or cheated on, but how many of your friends will tell you that you should have known these problems would come up because you knew the type of person this man was?

While friends want to be there for us after break ups and during fights in a relationship, friends can do you a disservice by not helping you see that you are enabling your own relationship and dating problems. Once you get out of the habit of picking the same kind of men to date, you’ll soon see that not every man will hurt you like your exes.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

2. Saying That ALL Men Are Dogs

If you believe that “all men are dogs” or “all men cheat” then what will you accept from men? Cheating and bad behavior, right? When you think this way, you’ll allow yourself to date “dogs” and cheaters. You’ll settle for the wrong man because you believe that a good man doesn’t exist. You believe all men will treat you badly.

But, the worst thing you can do is convince yourself that all men are bad. In doing this, you’ll prevent yourself from meeting a good man and having a great relationship. This type of thinking allows you to date an unworthy man without taking responsibility for making this dating choice in the first place.

As a woman, you have to know that your dating life is in YOUR hands. Don’t just choose to date the first man that comes along just because he is there. Be scrutinizing, use your best judgment, and don’t date men that you know are going to hurt you!

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. Staying in Bad Relationships

When you know your relationship isn’t good for you, but you stay in it anyway, you’re basically setting yourself up to play the victim role. As much as you wish or pray, your relationship isn’t going to get better just because you want it to.

When you have serious problems in your relationship, those problems tend to play out in the relationship over and over. So, if you decide to stay in a bad relationship, you can’t act like a victim when those problems resurface.

We all know that saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!” So, if you’re going to stay in the wrong relationship, continue to date the same kind of men, or claim that all men are bad, you can’t act like a helpless victim when the obvious does happen.

Stop blaming men for your dating problems and take responsibility for the men you choose to date, then you’ll notice changes in the quality of your relationships.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Date The Man You Want!!

Posted on August 2, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Often times, women are so eager to have a boyfriend or get married that they allow themselves to date the first man that comes along who is open to a relationship.

Unfortunately, many women fail to determine whether a man is a quality person, let alone the right man for them.

With their sights set on marriage and kids, some women will overlook the fact that a man lacks certain important qualities.

Date The Man You Actually Want!

What many women fail to realize is that who you date is ultimately who you marry.

If he acts a certain way when you’re dating, you best believe he’s going to act the exact same way if you get married too!

Neither you nor a marriage can change a man into something that he is not.

In fact, whatever he is now may be amplified over the years so make sure a man is actually right for you before jumping into a relationship with him.

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Don’t Try To Change A Man

It’s very foolish to think you can change a man.

So, instead of dating any man that’s willing to call you his girlfriend, take the time to decipher whether a person is right for you and whether you’d be a good match.

If you feel the need to change a man, then you’re in the wrong relationship!

Save yourself the time and heartache and date the man who actually is who you want to date!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

Posted on July 19, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Last week I discussed 5 red flags that men need to pay attention to, so this week I’ve addressed 5 red flags that women should watch for. I wrote this article for Singles Warehouse and you can access it on their website here: 5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Do Men Want to Date New Millennium Women?

Posted on July 6, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Check out this article I wrote for Digital Romance Inc. This is a read you definitely don’t want to miss! You can find my article Here.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

4 Problems with Drinking on First Dates

Posted on July 5, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you go out on a date, you hope to have great conversation and make a great connection. But sometimes, nervous or anxious feelings prevent us from maximizing our connection with a date.

For some people, drinking alcohol seems like a great way to loosen up and make the date a more fluid and enjoyable one.

However, while alcohol may temporarily ease that nervous energy, there’s a fine line between easing your tension and destroying the possibility of making a genuine connection with your date.

Image courtesy of Marin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What’s Wrong With Drinking on First Dates?

Alcohol can easily have a negative effect on your date. You may become a little too loosened up by the alcohol, which could lead to a number of problems on the date.

Here are 4 problems with drinking on first dates:

You might divulge way too much information too soon (To find out what “too much information too soon” is, check out my post on the topic Here);
You might bring up inappropriate first date topics like religion, politics, exes, and more;
You might make inappropriate comments that offend your date; and
You might have a false sense that you made a real connection with your date.

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

False Sense Of Making A Connection

One of the worst problems with drinking on first dates is the fact that the alcohol could lead you to feeling that you’ve made a genuine connection with your date when, in fact, you haven’t made a connection at all.

By the end of the date, you may feel much closer to your date and “connected” while your date feels annoyed, offended, or completely disinterested.

Consuming alcohol makes it more difficult to recognize those subtle clues that let you know whether someone is interested in you or not.

In fact, alcohol can make you flat out misinterpret social cues that tell you a person is uncomfortable with your behavior, language, or conversation topics

Image courtesy of Cbenjasuwan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Make A Love Connection!

In order to increase your chances of making a genuine connection or recognizing when there isn’t one, stick to ONE alcoholic drink on your date.

If you’re a more frequent or regular drinker, then you may bump this up to two. But, under no circumstances should you have more than 1-2 drinks on your first few dates!

Digital Romance Inc.

I’ve written an article for Digital Romance Inc. and it will be published on their website tomorrow! This is definitely a read you don’t want to miss!!

I’m really excited to write for Digital Romance Inc! Their “goal is to give you solutions to the entire range of relationship problems that people have been experiencing for… well, for as long as people have had relationships.”

Check out my website tomorrow for a direct link to my article!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Are We Learning or Barely Discerning?: Serial Relationships

Posted on June 21, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You’re not necessarily supposed to be in a relationship for every year of your adult life. Yet, you’ll often find women who are envious of their friends with serial relationships.

You know the women I’m talking about, the ones who are never single for more than a few weeks at a time, the ones who jump from one relationship to the very next without even batting an eye. They’ve always had serial relationships.

But, these are not women to be jealous or envious of.

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How Many Relationships Should You Have?

If you’re wondering how many relationships you’re supposed to have, realize that there is no magic number that’s going to bring you any closer to your “Mr. Right.”

Your chances of meeting the right man and getting married is not dependent upon the number of relationships that you’ve had in your life.

At the end of the day, what’s truly important is your ability to learn from your past relationships in order to recognize and change those things that prevent you from attracting quality men and healthy relationships.

If you jump from relationship to relationship without taking the time to think about the choices you made or bad behavior you accepted, you’ll continue to have bad relationship after bad relationship and you’ll face the same issues each time if not worse.

Image courtesy of Photostock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Inhibiting Self-Awareness & Change

Some women won’t leave a bad relationship until there’s another man to latch onto and this isn’t healthy at all. In doing this, you avoid facing and addressing serious issues you have with yourself and your relationships.

Going from relationship to relationship, doesn’t give yourself enough time to heal, learn, and grow from that experience. But, why is this important?

It’s important because you’ll never learn the lessons you’re supposed to from your past relationships with men. It’s important because you’ll continue to choose the wrong kind of men and make the same mistakes over and over.

Serial relationships don’t enable you to do the deep soul-searching that needs to be done to figure out why you chose to date your ex, what mistakes you made, and what changes need to be made in your dating life.

Be accountable, be knowledgable of your actions and yourself, take the time to reflect on your relationship and heal before you look to getting into another one!

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Envying A Healthy Relationship?

Some women are jealous of another woman’s serial relationships, not because those relationships are healthy or have a great dynamic, but simply because they just want a boyfriend too.

Most of the time, when women are envious of their friends with serial relationships, those relationships are usually unhealthy ones that shouldn’t be envied at all.

The truth is, you should never envy another person’s relationship. The old saying is certainly true, “The grass isn’t greener on the other side.”

Unfortunately, many women are more than happy to put up fake fronts about how great their relationship is, even if she’s miserable in it.

Therefore, you should never get caught up wanting what someone else has. You never know what really goes on behind closed doors.

Don’t Entertain Self-Doubt

When you have a friend that easily finds her next relationship, it may make you look at yourself and wonder why you aren’t able to do the same.

But, you aren’t inadequate or lacking in any way simply because you haven’t had as many relationships as your friends or because you’ve been single for awhile.

Don’t be jealous or envious of your friends that always have a man. Focus on growing as a person and taking much needed lessons from your past relationships and dealings with men so your next relationship will be a better and healthier one!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

For more great dating advice and must-read dating articles, Follow me on Twitter Here and on Facebook Here