8 Things Guys Secretly Love

James Michael Sama

Whether a guy is just starting to date a woman or is in a committed relationship with her, there are small things that she may do without thinking twice that guys secretly love.

While there are many, here are eight to start.


Laying your head on his chest.

When laying on the couch watching TV or laying in bed after a long day, it’s one of the best feelings when a woman lays her head down on your chest and puts her arm over you.

As men, we enjoy feeling as though we are being protective, and this signifies that she feels safe in our arms.

When you text him first.

There is a lot of pressure on guys to always initiate conversation. Sometimes he may not know if he’s being too pushy or texting too much – he might overthink it and not text you at all, which could…

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Entry 4: Phone Etiquette Pt. 3- Sexting!!

Sexting is basically when you take sexy or sexually explicit photos of yourself and send them to other people by text or email. Is this idea of sending risqué or sexy photos a new phenomena? Not at all!!!

So, how did adults and young teens exchange pictures in the past? Richard Chalfen, the author of “‘It’s only a picture’: sexting, ‘smutty’ snapshots and felony charges,” says that young couples actually used to swap pictures of themselves in skimpy swimsuits through regular mail.

And do you remember the polaroid camera people?? We’ve all taken a selfie with a polaroid camera at some point in our lives (not necessarily a nude one). Well, I guess that’s if you were alive when the polaroid camera was hot!

Chalfen also said that polaroid cameras encouraged the exchange of “risqué” pictures because couples did not have to face any embarrassment from going to the corner drugstore to develop their pictures and possibly face punishment from law enforcement!!

Then, when the camcorder emerged, it was just another median for sexually explicit purposes. With the technological advancement of cell phones having digital cameras, sexting is really just the latest chapter in this Saga as Chalfen puts it.

Now that I understand the history behind the sharing of sexual pictures, I definitely agree with Chalfen that most people rarely see sexting as just another case of technology extending an activity or action that young people have engaged in for years.

Our generation has to raise kids in this technologically advanced era and what does this mean for us? Unfortunately, it means we can no longer just have the “sex” talk with our kids. We also have to have the “sexting” talk now too just to make sure our kids won’t destroy their future with nude pictures before their careers even start!

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy said that 71% of teen girls and 67% of teen boys admitted to sending or posting sexually suggestive content to a boyfriend or girlfriend. That sounds like a lot to me!

But obviously we know that some boy is receiving each girls sext, so why don’t these numbers match each other? Why are teen girls willing to admit to sexting more than the boys are? Just some interesting food for thought for you.

For the full conversation on sexting, download this episode now: Sexting

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Food For Thought: Text Flirting

Image courtesy of Atibodyphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Atibodyphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“When is it okay to text flirt without looking like you’re trying to give up the cookie early?”

When you flirt in a text message, you can’t be as subtle as you normally would be when flirting on the phone or in person. This is because your tone of voice, body language, and other subtleties aren’t conveyed in text messages.

Flirting In General

Flirting on the phone can be as a simple as answering a question in a more seductive or sexy voice. Flirting in person requires even less overtness because you can use your body language to flirt and show interest in a man without having to do much at all.

For example, orienting your body towards his by crossing your legs in his direction or sitting more closely to him is a subtle form of flirting that lets a man know that you’re interested in him or what he is saying without much effort on your part.

These kind of subtle cues allow us to exhibit a light, flirty side without coming off as being just interested in sex.

Flirting in Text Messages

Flirting can come in the simple form of body language, tone of voice, or through a play on words. However, when flirting  takes place through text messaging, you have to be much more straight forward, suggestive, and blatant about your flirting so that it can actually come across as flirting to the recipient of the text.

This does pose a problem though, because now you have to figure out how to balance your desire to convey your flirting with your desire to not look like you are just about sex. When you text flirt, it is a lot easier to look overly sexified and seem like just a sex object to a man.

Unfortunately, once a man categorizes you into the “just sex” box, you literally will be just the girl he has sex with. While there are exceptions to the rule that once you’re labeled as just a girl to have sex with, that’s all you will ever be to him, we can’t all be the exception to the rule!

My Answer

Considering how easy it is to be labeled as just a sex object in general by man, it is very important that we wait a reasonable amount of time before engaging in text flirting with men.

In my personal opinion, I think women should hold off on text flirting with a man until at least after the third or fourth date.

Remember though, this doesn’t mean you can’t subtly flirt on the phone or in person. Just make sure that your flirting isn’t too sexified and over the top so that you can maintain respect in his eyes.

An effortless, but seductive batting of the eyes can even go a long way in showing your flirty side without the negative consequence of being labeled as just a sex object.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve


If you want to hear more about texting as it relates to dating and relationships, check out my podcast at http://www.deesdatingdiary.podomatic.com

Entry 3: Phone Etiquette Pt.2- Texting


Unfortunately, with the advances of technology and the invention of text messages, a lot of men are now texting women instead of calling them, but what is acceptable texting behavior?

Listen to my podcast to get the answers you’re looking for!!

For the full dialogue on texting etiquette and more, check out my podcast by clicking on the link below or you can download this episode right here: Download episode

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,