The “I was busy” excuse is pretty popular with some men and most women have heard this excuse before. The guy you’re dating tells you that he is going to call you tomorrow or that he is going to take you out over the weekend, but he never does. When he finally gets back to you, he tells you how crazy his week or month has been and that he had absolutely no time whatsoever to call or even text you.
Now, how many of you are guilty of accepting the “I was busy” excuse? While you will feel inclined to forgive a man’s lack of communication or breaking of commitments due to his extremely “busy” schedule, you ultimately devalue yourself and your worth by accepting this excuse.
You’re Worthy of Communication
The problem with believing the busy excuse is that you may internalize this as you not being worthy of a man’s attention when he has other things going on. You may even start to think that it’s okay to just be an afterthought to a man. But, if a man tells you he is going to call you tomorrow, it doesn’t matter how busy his day was, he should have made some kind of effort to communicate with you, even if just through texts.
You have to realize that people make time for what they really want. So, if a man really wants to talk to you or really wants to see you, he is going to make time to do that. No matter how busy a person is, it doesn’t take much effort to make a quick phone call or shoot someone a text. Being busy does not negate a man’s responsibility to honor his word!
You deserve a man who will keep his commitments and promises to you and you can’t let a man convince you that you aren’t important enough for a phone call or text. You deserve a man who calls you when he says he is going to call you and who actually keeps the dates you schedule.
Dates Cancelled By Silence
Most importantly, you have to be weary of any man who tells you that he is so busy he didn’t even have time to cancel your date plans. This really means that you’re barely an afterthought to this guy and he doesn’t respect you enough to not waste your time. This is not the kind of man you should continue to date under any circumstances.
It’s one thing if work or an emergency prevents you from keeping a scheduled date, but there’s absolutely no excuse for not taking the time to call or text a woman to cancel a date. The next time a man tells you he was too busy to call you or too busy to cancel your plans, just accept the fact that he’s just not that into you.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
i agree. Dates cancelled with silence?! Okay, i’ve never had that happen. Even when i was single and dating for 3 years. Not once. So i guess most men are more courteous than that. Re the too busy thing – yes, it takes only a second to shoot a text. Some people really are that busy though – workaholics, businessmen, the super successful – and I bet they will all agree that their relationships suffer. For them it’s a matter of just being unavailable emotionally, mentally, etc. They have other priorities. Still a red flag when it comes to a relationship, unless you just don’t mind coming in second all the time.
Great points! And yes, it only takes a second to shoot someone a text. Thanks for checking out my post and sharing your thoughts!
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Great post! In fact, would we even tolerate this behavior from a friend after a while? Sure, everyone has an emergency once in a while, but if more often than not we are the lowest priority, not even worth a five minute phone call or a couple texts to catch up and make plans for the next week, then we know this person doesn’t value us at all. Why should we keep giving them any emotional space? It only ever leads to feeling bad, and there’s no reason to keep allowing that into our lives.
Thanks Paula! You make some great points and you’re right that women probably wouldn’t tolerate the same behavior from a friend after a while. Thanks for checking out my post and sharing your insight!
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