The holidays are such a wonderful and joyous time!
But, when you’re in a relationship, it’s not always fun deciding which family to spend the holidays with.
I do have a simple tip for planning your future holidays, but, first, I think it’s important to acknowledge a significant problem women have during the holidays.
The Unfortunate Holiday Compulsion
I often find that when women are in relationships, they tend to spend most, if not all, of their holidays with their boyfriend’s family instead of their own.
It’s seems all too easy for many women to forget about their own family and ingratiate themselves into their boyfriend’s family.
While there’s nothing wrong with spending quality time with your man’s family, it definitely becomes a problem when your own family doesn’t get to spend any time with you.
You can’t forsake your family on every holiday. You should still spend some of your holidays with your own family.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t spend any holidays with your boyfriend’s family, you just need to maintain a balance and not forget about the people you grew up with.
Tips For The Holidays
Instead of fighting over who’s family to spend the holidays with, divvy up the holidays between your two families.
Spend Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other.
If there’s a particular holiday that is more important to your partner’s family than your own, spend that holiday with them.
You could also spend Christmas with your partner’s family one year and Christmas with your family the next year. This way, each family gets to enjoy you on different holidays each year.
Is Family Important To You And Your Partner?
If spending time with your family isn’t as important to you as it is to your partner, then you should spend more holidays with your partner’s family.
HOWEVER, I will say, if you highly value family and your partner doesn’t, this could be the source of a lot of conflict in your relationship.
While I do believe that you don’t have to share every single value that your partner shares in order for a relationship to work (See my post: Do You Share The Same Values?), if you value family and your partner does not, this could end up being a serious deal breaker.
If you intend to start a family with your partner one day, you’ll want him or her to value the family you’ve created.
But, if your partner doesn’t value their own family now, how much will they really value the family you create together? Think about that!
For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,