Where To Spend The Holidays When You’re In A Relationship

Image courtesy of Gualberto107 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Gualberto107 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The holidays are such a wonderful and joyous time!

But, when you’re in a relationship, it’s not always fun deciding which family to spend the holidays with.

I do have a simple tip for planning your future holidays, but, first, I think it’s important to acknowledge a significant problem women have during the holidays.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Unfortunate Holiday Compulsion

I often find that when women are in relationships, they tend to spend most, if not all, of their holidays with their boyfriend’s family instead of their own.

It’s seems all too easy for many women to forget about their own family and ingratiate themselves into their boyfriend’s family.

While there’s nothing wrong with spending quality time with your man’s family, it definitely becomes a problem when your own family doesn’t get to spend any time with you.

You can’t forsake your family on every holiday. You should still spend some of your holidays with your own family.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t spend any holidays with your boyfriend’s family, you just need to maintain a balance and not forget about the people you grew up with.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tips For The Holidays

Instead of fighting over who’s family to spend the holidays with, divvy up the holidays between your two families.

Spend Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other.

If there’s a particular holiday that is more important to your partner’s family than your own, spend that holiday with them.

You could also spend Christmas with your partner’s family one year and Christmas with your family the next year. This way, each family gets to enjoy you on different holidays each year.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is Family Important To You And Your Partner?

If spending time with your family isn’t as important to you as it is to your partner, then you should spend more holidays with your partner’s family.

HOWEVER, I will say, if you highly value family and your partner doesn’t, this could be the source of a lot of conflict in your relationship.

While I do believe that you don’t have to share every single value that your partner shares in order for a relationship to work (See my post: Do You Share The Same Values?), if you value family and your partner does not, this could end up being a serious deal breaker.

If you intend to start a family with your partner one day, you’ll want him or her to value the family you’ve created.

But, if your partner doesn’t value their own family now, how much will they really value the family you create together? Think about that!

For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Family Won’t Forget Your Boyfriend’s Bad Behavior

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What can you expect from your family and friends when you tell them about your boyfriend’s bad behavior and decide to stay in the relationship anyway?

First, you can expect them to write your boyfriend off as a good match for you. They certainly won’t be as supportive of your relationship with him after his wrongdoing.

Second, the negative feelings your family and friends have towards your boyfriend’s wrongdoing could translate to tension, awkwardness, or flat out animosity between your loved ones and your man.

When a woman’s boyfriend and her family don’t get along, the unfortunate consequence is that she may start seeing her family much less, if at all.

Sadly, the tension between your family and boyfriend and the ill-feelings that are harbored often times results in a woman choosing her boyfriend over her family.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Your Family Didn’t Forgive Him

You have to remember, your family isn’t the one who forgives your boyfriend of his wrongdoing, it’s you that forgives him.

And, although you may forgive your man for cheating or some other egregious act, your family and friends will never forget what he did to you or how he hurt you.

Your boyfriend may have apologized to you profusely and showered you with gifts or affection, but your family and friends aren’t on the receiving end of this. So, its much harder for them to let go of your man’s bad behavior since they aren’t a part of the “making up process.”

On top of that, your loved ones may not be willing to sugarcoat their feelings or “play nice” with your boyfriend when he’s around.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Don’t Expect Family to Support Your Decision

So, if you plan on staying with your boyfriend after he’s hurt you in some way, don’t expect your family to be supportive of your decision!

Don’t be mad when your family and friends don’t condone your relationship or aren’t even willing to hide their true feelings about your man.

While you don’t want there to be tension between your family and boyfriend, staying in a bad relationship could result in exactly that!

Do you really feel that your family will want you to stay in an unhealthy or dysfunctional relationship? Not a chance!

The reality is, having family and friends that care about your well-being is much more important than having people in your life that are willing to support or encourage your destructive decisions.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee