If you knew that you were going to meet the love of your life at age 45 or 50, how would this affect your dating life right now? Would you let yourself enter a relationship or get married to Mr. Right Now (also known as Mr. Wrong) because you’re tired of waiting for Mr. Right to come along?
Instant Gratification Vs. Long-Term Happiness
As women, we often have this flawed habit of seeking instant gratification over long-term happiness and viability in a relationship.
What I mean is– when we are dating Mr. Wrong and things start going badly or breaking up is an option that’s on the table, we start thinking about what we will lose or how we will be deprived of affection or companionship or something else if we decide to end things.
This is usually done in place of evaluating whether the man we’re dating is really right for us and contributes to having a positive, healthy, loving relationship.
And so, in fear of losing a companion, being alone, or dealing with the current dating world, we give ourselves instant gratification by staying with Mr. Wrong so we can still have a warm body next to us and not worry about finding a man who is any better.
Why Instant Gratification Is Alluring
Instant gratification is appealing because it immediately satisfies some desire that we have, whether it’s having someone to cuddle at night, being able to say you have a boyfriend, or continuing to reap the financial benefits of dating a wealthy man.
Instant gratification provides instant happiness, but it’s not true, internal happiness and, therefore, it’s not a lasting happiness.
Instant gratification can also be deceiving because those immediate good feelings that come with it can falsely make you feel as though you have made the right decision. But, time will prove otherwise.
The problem is, those happy, content feelings you get from this instant gratification of staying with Mr. Wrong doesn’t last. And eventually the negative feelings you previously harbored start to creep back up, the behavior you were unhappy with starts to rear its ugly head again, and you’re brought back to the very same spot you were before where you to had to contemplate whether the relationship was really worth continuing.
Unfortunately, for many women this is a vicious cycle that’s repeated constantly throughout our lives.
Focus On Your Long-Term Happiness
Instead of focusing on instant gratification, you need to focus on your long-term happiness when you’re evaluating a potential partner or considering whether you should stay with a boyfriend.
Remember, the path you go down if you stay with or marry Mr. Wrong can keep you from meeting Mr. Right. So, is Mr. Right Now worth missing out on the amazing love you could have with your Mr. Right? Probably not!
Keep this in mind the next time you decide to give your problematic boyfriend another chance.
For more great dating advice, check out my new book — Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. Available on: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
Till Next Time,
Dee
Dee's Dating Diary 