We all know that break ups aren’t easy. But, how long should it take you to get over your boyfriend or girlfriend? Traditionally, people have said that it takes you half of the amount of time you were in the relationship to get over it. For example, if you were dating a man for one year, it could take you up to six months to get over him.
While this “healing timeline” has frequently been proven to be true, there are different factors that could decrease or increase the length of time it will take you to get over a boyfriend. Here are 10 factors that can increase the time it takes you to get over a relationship:
1. You Live Together
If you live with your boyfriend, but neither of you can immediately move out, this will definitely lengthen the amount of time it will take to get over the relationship.
2. You’re Still Connected On Facebook or Other Social Media
It might make you feel a little better if you saw your ex-boyfriend posting depressing status updates on Facebook, but that usually never happens! Most people will only post positive and happy things about themselves on Facebook.
So, when you see your boyfriend living this uber happy life after your break up, this may add insult to injury and slow you down on the road to break up recovery.
3. You Share A Car
If you share a car with your partner, the stress of being without a car could prolong the healing process. If your ex isn’t willing to help you out a little while you make arrangements to get another car this could especially add feelings of bitterness to the emotions you’re already dealing with.
4. You Share A Pet
If you co-own a pet and are on the losing end when the relationship ends, the loss of your pet could also affect your ability to quickly heal from the break up.
5. Your Families Are Friends
If your family is friends with your ex’s family, this could definitely make getting over your ex very difficult. From the run-ins at get togethers or holiday events to the questions each side of the family may ask, this inability to fully separate can impede your progress.
6. You’re Close With His Mother
If you have a close relationship with your boyfriend’s mother, getting over your boyfriend will be extremely difficult if you don’t break up with his mother too.
7. You Try To “Be Friends” Immediately After The Break Up
Trying to be friends with an ex usually doesn’t work, but it especially won’t work if you try to make the friendship happen immediately after the break up. Your new “friendship” may be more like a crutch and will just keep you from what inevitably needs to happen: you getting over the relationship.
8. You Hang Out With Your Ex’s Friends
During the course of your relationship, you probably became pretty cool with some of your boyfriend’s friends. But, trying to hang out and stay friends with them will only hold you back.
9. You Watch Sad or Romantic Movies
Watching sad or romantic movies will not help you get over your ex. In fact, you may wallow in your sadness even more. Hold off on the tear-jerkers and unrealistic romantic movies until you’re in a better mental place.
10. You Work With Your Ex
It’s hard enough to deal with a break up, but now you have to go to work everyday with your ex? This is definitely a toughie! Working with your ex will be a constant reminder of the relationship. It’s unavoidable, but mental preparation may ease some of the discomfort.
You’re never going to get over an ex overnight, but you can reduce the amount of factors that will prolong your recuperation from the break up.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
I created the poll below to survey my readers on how long it takes you to get over a one-year relationship. Choose your answer and click vote. It’s easy and anonymous! You can see the poll results once you submit your answer.
Dee's Dating Diary 