40 Reasons Why Women Stay In Abusive Relationships

The month of October is domestic violence awareness month so I wanted to share some of the things that make women stay in abusive relationships. While some women do know why they have difficulty leaving an abusive boyfriend, some women don’t understand what factors make them stay.

I do think it’s important to know the root causes of your inability to end abusive relationships. In identifying this, you may also be identifying an aspect of yourself that you can work on. For example, if you stay in an abusive relationship because your boyfriend has convinced you that no other man will love you, then working on your self-esteem/self-confidence is important. No woman deserves to be abused and we all deserve so much better!

40 Reasons Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships:

  1. You’re afraid of being alone or single
  2. You’re afraid that no other man will want you
  3. Low self-esteem or you feel inadequate
  4. His job – he’s a cop, politician, or public figure
  5. You think that no one will believe you
  6. Maintaining public images or reputations
  7. The honeymoon phase after physical abuse
  8. You believe his promises
  9. You love him
  10. You think he will change
  11. Your parent’s abusive relationship made this behavior normal
  12. You feel guilty because of how much he has helped you
  13. You’re financially dependent on him
  14. Your history with him
  15. He displays a nice side that you love
  16. He can be very kind and affectionate when he wants to be
  17. You have no support system
  18. You have no means to leave
  19. He manipulates you
  20. He makes you feel like all the relationship problems are your fault
  21. He makes you feel like you deserve the abuse
  22. You have no where else to live
  23. He threatens to commit suicide
  24. Fear – fear of harassment, physical harm, or death
  25. You don’t want to divide your family and take the children away from their father
  26. You’re afraid you would lose your children to him
  27. You don’t want to be a single mother
  28. You’re afraid of going through a break up
  29. You don’t know how to leave the relationship
  30. He has trained you to think that abuse is okay
  31. You don’t realize that you’re being abused
  32. Religious beliefs
  33. Fear of losing everything you have – home, car, belongings
  34. His intimidation, power, and control over you
  35. He apologizes profusely
  36. You don’t want to get divorced and have a failed marriage
  37. You think the abuse will end when he is not stressed
  38. His threats to harm you
  39. You blame yourself for the abuse and think that you deserve it
  40. Pressure from others to make the relationship work

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. They’re available 24/7 and it’s completely confidential.

Till Next Time,


For great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

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