Jealousy has nothing to do with how strongly a man feels about you, but women often mistake a man’s jealousy for love or a high level of interest. There are different levels of jealousy, but if you date a man who is extremely jealous, you’re setting yourself up for an unhealthy relationship because real happiness and love just isn’t possible. So, here are 9 reasons why you should avoid dating extremely jealous men:
1. You’re Always On Trial
When your boyfriend is extremely jealous, you have to deal with regular accusations of cheating. You’re always standing trial and being persecuted for innocent behavior. Maybe a male coworker gave you a ride home from work or maybe you went out with girlfriends and came home an hour later than you said you would. No matter what the innocent behavior is, having your life under your boyfriend’s microscope isn’t easy!
2. You Always Have To Prove Yourself
When you’re always on trial, what do you have to do? Prove your innocence! And you better make a good case! When an extremely jealous boyfriend accuses you of cheating, you have to prove your fidelity and love. You have to convince him that you would never disrespect your relationship. But, truthfully, there’s no amount of convincing that you can do to make a jealous man trust you.
Good relationships take enough work to maintain and having to constantly prove that you’re not cheating and you do love your boyfriend is stressful and draining, to say the least.
3. The Relationship May Take a Turn For The Worst
Extreme jealousy could be a sign that your relationship may turn into an abusive one. Abusive men are usually extremely jealous and frequently perceive innocent behavior as evidence of or acts of infidelity. And, these misperceptions are often used as excuses for abuse.
4. Snooping Is Probably On The Horizon
Extreme jealousy can cause other unhealthy behaviors like snooping and even stalking. And, it’s actually very painful and hurtful to know that your boyfriend distrusts you enough to snoop or follow you to places.
5. He May Never Trust You
If your boyfriend is extremely jealous, there’s really no trust in your relationship. One of the fundamental elements of a great, loving relationship is trust. If your boyfriend can’t trust you from the moment you start dating, what would ever truly get him to trust you? Besides working on his emotional issues, there’s absolutely nothing you can do or not do that will build your boyfriend’s trust in you.
6. His Jealously May Erode Your Trust
Your boyfriend may never trust you and his jealousy may erode your own trust in him. It’s hard to trust someone who doesn’t trust you. If you can maintain your trust in the relationship, his lack of trust will surely make you sad.
7. His Distrust May Be A Result Of His Own Actions
Extreme jealousy may be a symptom of your boyfriend’s infidelity in the relationship. Guilty minds blame others. If your boyfriend has not been faithful in the relationship, his guilt may lead him to accusing you of cheating as well.
8. Extreme Jealousy Is A Sign Of A Much Bigger Problem
Extreme jealousy comes from a place of insecurity, not love! Insecurity is deep-rooted and goes far beyond a current relationship. A man whose insecurity leads to jealousy may feel like he’s not handsome enough, muscular enough, or intelligent enough. These aren’t things that you can fix for your boyfriend. Self-confidence starts and ends with yourself. So, unless your boyfriend makes an effort to resolve his insecurity issues on his own, they’ll continue to plague your relationship.
It’s difficult to date someone who is very insecure because they need constant reassurance. You will be expected to make them feel secure. But, if you’re not doing anything wrong, how can you make your boyfriend feel secure in the relationship? Just know that you won’t be able to solve your boyfriend’s insecurity for him.
9. He May Become Controlling
Extreme jealousy due to insecurity could also manifest itself as a controlling nature. An extremely insecure and jealous boyfriend will want to know what you’re doing and who you’re with at all times. He also may try to control or limit your interactions with friends and family altogether.
Obviously, if you’re actually cheating on your boyfriend, then jealousy and insecurity is reasonable and expected. But, if you’re not cheating on your boyfriend and he regularly exhibits jealous behavior, you need to have a conversation about where the jealousy is coming from and how he can resolve those issues so the two of you can have a happy relationship. If he still continues with his jealous antics, it’s time to run for the hills!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
This is so perfect I have to share it, even tho I no longer date.
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Thanks Paula, you’re too kind!! And, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying some good dating advice while you take a break from the dating scene.
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You can never win with a jealous man. This is because their jealousy is all about their insecurities and issues, and you are just a actor in their play. It’s awful, it’s draining and you also end up losing friends and family because he is always questioning what you are doing so you stop doing a lot of stuff believing it will fix the problem.
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You are definitely right, you can never win with a jealous man and trying to win may just result in you losing all the people that you consider important in your life. Thanks for reading my article and taking the time to share your perspective!!