Join Memphis Single Mingle For Fun, Laughter, And Love!

If you’re single and live in or near the Memphis, Tennessee area, you’re definitely going to want to join my Meetup.com group Memphis Single Mingle!

Single Mingle is the meetup to join if you’re open to new experiences and the possibility of finding love while having fun! This meetup is about getting out of the house, making new friends, and meeting the love of your life!

Single Mingle currently connects over 2,000 amazing single Memphians through fun, exciting, and unique events. From outdoor activities to happy hours, festivals, dancing lessons, escape rooms, comedy shows, workshops, dinners, fun fitness, and a variety of other activities, Single Minglers will do it all!

Join Single Mingle for fun, laughter, and love: Memphis Single Mingle

 

UPCOMING MEMPHIS SINGLE MINGLE MEETUPS

Saturday, April 30th: Capture The Flag at Mud Island Dog Park

Saturday, May 6th: Memphis Escape Room

Tuesday, May 9th: Free Comedy Show at the High Cotton Brewery

Saturday, May 20th: Salsa Dance Lesson at The Rumba Room 

Tuesday, May 30th: Vine to Wine: Cork & Pork – A Wine Tasting Series

Thursday, June 8th: Nutritious, But Delicious Cooking Class 

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Picking Up The Pieces – Chapter 2 Book Excerpt

Chapter Two Excerpt 

Drop That Emotional Baggage

Your Thoughts, Beliefs, & Emotions Are Crucial

Trust me when I say the thoughts, beliefs, and emotions derived from your past relationships have significant effects on you, how you interact with and treat men, and how you handle your relationships—whether you believe it or not.

The mind is powerful. It takes note of all your thoughts and feelings and files them away accordingly. Then, when you encounter similar scenarios with men, your mind automatically opens that old file and tells you how to feel or act in that moment. And you better believe that your mind allows action and inaction based on all those little beliefs about dating that you’ve filed away in your brain over the years.

This isn’t to say that you have no control over your thoughts and, consequently, how you act. In fact, you do have control. But to exercise that control, you first have to recognize what your beliefs are and where those beliefs come from. Only then can you combat those negative thoughts that turn into negative actions and replace them with new, healthy thoughts that promote positive action and positive results in your dating life.

So instead of continuing to be controlled by your thought that “all men are dogs,” you can replace that thought with this one: “All the men I’ve dated in the past have been dogs, but I’ll no longer give the wrong men my time so that I have a real chance to meet a better man.” You need to make these types of mental shifts.

It’s imperative that you understand how deeply your thoughts about dating and men affect your dating experiences. Remember, if you believe that all men are dogs, you simply won’t put effort into attracting a quality man. You’ll settle for whatever men come along. If you believe that all men cheat, you’ll accept this exact behavior from all the men you date.

Ultimately, those thoughts and beliefs about men and dating that are sitting in your head will get reflected in your real-life world. So if you have negative thoughts about men and dating, those negative thoughts will manifest themselves as real-life results for you. That’s why the only way to change the results you get in your real life is to change and reshape your inner beliefs.

You definitely don’t want your subconscious to produce results in your dating life that don’t make you happy. Meaning, you need to take note of what’s going on in your head so that you can get rid of all those thoughts that don’t support a positive dating life and positive relationships. If you do this, you’ll be well on your way to readying yourself for a great man and a great relationship.

******

Get Picking Up The Pieces today: Amazon | KindleBarnes & NobleNook Book  

Are You Guilty Of Qualifying Your Confidence?

Although everyone struggles with confidence in different areas of life, there’s one specific type of confidence problem I see with many women. I call it qualified confidence.

What is Qualified Confidence?

Qualified confidence is when a person reduces their confidence, or qualifies it, in regards to a specific quality or area of their life because someone else exhibits the quality in a better way.

For example, Rebecca thought she was beautiful, but when she went to college she met women she thought were much prettier than her and truly beautiful.

So, she started feeling that she was only “okay” since there were other women who were much prettier than she was. Believing that she wasn’t really pretty anymore, she reduced her confidence, she qualified her confidence based on her perception of other women’s beauty.

Does It Only Apply To Looks?

This doesn’t just apply to looks and physical features, women tend to qualify their confidence in other areas of their life too. A woman may think she is not as good an athlete because she knows that there are better athletes out there.

Or, a woman thinks she isn’t very good in her professional or entrepreneurial life because she knows of another woman who is doing much better than she is.

This is qualified confidence and it’s extremely detrimental to our emotional well-being and our ability to be truly happy with ourselves.

Why You Shouldn’t Qualify Your Confidence 

We are all unique human beings and are great in our own way and just because someone may be better at something than you does not mean that you aren’t one of the best too!

Take Usain Bolt, for example, he crushed his opponents and even had time to smile for the cameras while beating them.

Should the people who came in second, third, or fourth place feel like they are lesser athletes because they lost to Usain Bolt? Of course not! They are still the best runners in their country so it would be ridiculous for them to qualify, or reduce, their confidence because someone else is faster than them.

The same applies to you, ladies! Don’t ever reduce your confidence because you think someone is prettier, smarter, more athletic, or more anything than you. Recognize your strengths, love yourself, and know that you are great just the way you were made!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Loving Me Rocks” Girl’s Empowerment Conference 2017

On April 29, 2017, I will be speaking at the “Loving Me Rocks” Girl’s Empowerment Conference at the University of Tennessee at Memphis.

This conference is for daughters and mothers. One of the daughter sessions include, “You Grow Girl” and one of the parent sessions include, “Feeding The Mouth That Bites You.” Join us for this informative, empowering, and motivational conference!

Get your seat today: Eventbrite

I will also be signing books after the event. If you haven’t gotten your copy of Picking up the Pieces, you can get one at the conference or online: Amazon | Barnes & Noble.

Hope to see you there!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

I Am What You See – A Women’s Empowerment Event

On April 30, 2017, I will be speaking at the “I Am What You See” women’s empowerment event at the Burt Ferguson Community Center in Memphis, TN.

Join us for this empowering, motivational, inspirational, and confidence-building event where you will find out why you’re amazing just the way you are!

This event is FREE and all attendees will get a FREE LUNCH during the event! 

There will also be door prizes and a silent auction! The vendors, as of right now, include Makeda’s Cookies, Avon, Mary Kay, Paparazzi Jewelry, Parents & Purses, and Paycation Travel.

Seating is limited and going fast so reserve your spot today: Reserve My Seat

I will also be signing books after the event. If you haven’t gotten your copy of my book, it’s not too late, you can get one through Amazon here: Picking Up The Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself For The Love And Relationship You Deserve or through Barnes & Noble.

Can’t wait to see you there!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Help! My Girlfriend Breaks Up With Me Once A Week!

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

My girlfriend keeps breaking up and getting back together with me. At first it happened every few months, but now it’s been happening once a week and I don’t know what to do. I love this woman. We’ve been dating for a couple of years and I forgive her for doing this, but it’s really starting to make me feel bad about myself and I want it to stop. Every time she breaks up with me she says we’re not compatible, but we never fight and we have a great time together. What should I do?

Dear Dater,

You definitely don’t deserve to be put through this kind of emotional roller coaster, but the good thing is that you’re recognizing her bad relationship habits with you. In the beginning, she only broke up with you every few months, but now it’s happening every week, which tells you that this behavior (and the relationship) is getting progressively worse.

Although you say you guys never fight and have a great time together, there is obviously something else going on underneath the surface that’s causing your girlfriend to want to jump ship frequently. I do think it’s important to point out though that just because you never have disagreements in a relationship, doesn’t mean it’s a good relationship. Your situation is a great example of that.

If your girlfriend felt like the relationship was great too then why would she keep breaking up with you every week? Maybe your girlfriend is considering being with another man, maybe she feels like she’s settling by dating you, maybe she’s always looking for the next best thing, or maybe she has commitment issues. Unfortunately, without knowing your girlfriend, I can’t pinpoint the source of her relationship anxiety.

What I can say for certain though is that there’s something going on that your girlfriend isn’t talking to you about. Have an open, non-confrontational conversation with her about how this back and forth has made you feel and give her an opportunity to explain her true feelings. This will allow you to address any issues she may have been afraid to bring up in the past.

If communicating about this problem doesn’t resolve it, then all I can do for you is help you see what it is that you really want out of a relationship. While you can’t control your girlfriend’s behavior and stop her from breaking up with you periodically, you do have control over yourself and what you accept or tolerate from women. So, consider the following questions and answer them honestly:

  1. Do you believe you deserve unconditional love?
  2. Do you want to be in a relationship where you feel like your girlfriend loves you as much as you love her?
  3. Are you okay with constantly worrying about when your girlfriend will break up with you next?
  4. Do you want to date a woman who, after a couple of years, knows definitively that she only wants to date you?
  5. Do you want a girlfriend that won’t take you on emotional roller coaster rides every week?

Your answers to these questions will help you determine what’s best for you and how to move forward. In my personal opinion, your girlfriend’s behavior says that she doesn’t value you or appreciate you to the extent that she should. Girlfriends should make you feel better about yourself not worse. You shouldn’t have to wonder whether your girlfriend really loves you or whether she’s going to break up with you next week.

Nonetheless, give her a chance to redeem herself by opening up to you and re-committing herself to the relationship. If this doesn’t work or she doesn’t want to, it’s time to cut your ties not only for your emotional well-being, but also so you have the ability to find the kind of love and relationship you truly desire and deserve. A good man deserves a good woman, not a woman who doesn’t recognize what she has!

Always do what is best for your emotional well-being. I wish you all the best!

For more great dating advice, get my new book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Best Online Dating Sites To Use In 2017

With hundreds of online dating sites to choose from, how do you know if you’re picking a good one? Well, trial and error is certainly an indicator, however, that’s time-consuming and there’s more sites to try than anyone has time for.

For this reason, online dating site reviews are great sources of information to shed light on which sites may be the best. Reviews.com analyzed over 60 online dating sites to determine which sites were the best. Find out which dating sites made the list and see which site was dubbed most underwhelmingBest Online Dating Sites.

For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Really Ready For Better Relationships?

 

Ladies, consider these questions:

  • Have you ever been dating a guy who suddenly disappeared into thin air?
  • Is it hard for you to trust men?
  • Have you wondered if you’ll ever meet your Mr. Right?
  • Do you feel like there are no good men out there?
  • Do you think you need to settle for any man who is willing to marry you?

Picking up the Pieces will help you attract the love of your life and keep him. Because it encourages you to hold a mirror up to yourself, this book challenges you to face the reality of how you’ve been holding yourself back in your dating and love life.

The first half of this book will guide you through making positive, internal changes using strategic exercises along with tailor-made affirmations. The second half is comprised of dating advice that helps you identify what your Mr. Right looks like while you gain valuable knowledge that will help you navigate the dating world.

Coupled together, this will ultimately bring about the amazing love you truly desire and deserve. You’ll not only be bursting with confidence, but you’ll also be equipped with the tools you need to quickly weed out the frogs and live happily ever after with your prince.

This is a life-changing journey to a better you and better relationships. Are you ready for the ride of your life? Get The Book

As of today, my ebook is officially available on Kindle: Get The eBook

Till Next Time,

Dee

How One Immigrant’s Story Gave Life To A Life Coach (Press Release)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

HOW ONE IMMIGRANT’S STORY GAVE LIFE TO A LIFE COACH

MIAMI – February 25, 2017 – Dee Simone’s story starts 50 years ago, with the story of her immigrant father, a man who was homeless in Nigeria because his mother abandoned him. Simone has a story—and a life—because her father convinced his best friend to sell his car and give the money to him so that he could buy a plane ticket to the United States of America. With $20 in his pocket, Simone’s father came to this country, worked as a janitor—and at several other odd jobs—and put himself through college and then medical school. 

After Simone’s father found success as a doctor, he brought his best friend to the U.S. and helped him get through medical school to become a doctor as well. Simone’s father’s generosity didn’t stop there; he provided free healthcare and conducted free medical missions within his communities in the U.S. as well as communities in South America and Nigeria.

One of four daughters, Simone became an attorney, a certified mediator, a dating and life coach, and now an author. Following in her father’s footsteps, she continues to give back to her communities and inspires women to find happiness and true love by loving themselves first. Her unique book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve, is more than just dating advice. It’s a journey about self-love, personal growth, and pursuing your goals.

Before providing women with the tools and dating advice they need to identify what their Mr. Right looks like and then how to keep him, this book first encourages women to critically evaluate themselves—using strategic exercises—to recognize the ways they have hindered their own dating lives and relationships. Simone also helps women create tailor-made affirmations to build their confidence, recognize their strengths, and replace any negative thoughts or beliefs about men, dating, and relationships. This book is surely a game-changer!

Picking up the Pieces is available for purchase on www.YourDeeSimone.com and Amazon; the eBook will be available on Kindle March 4, 2017, but it can be pre-ordered now using this link: Kindle Pre-Orders. For more information about Picking up the Pieces, please visit www.YourDeeSimone.com

About Dee Simone – Dee Simone is your dating and life coach extraordinaire. She’s a licensed attorney and certified mediator with a degree in sociology. Dee also writes dating advice articles for online publications and created Dee’s Dating Diary (www.DeesDatingDiary.com) to provide women with valuable dating advice they can use in their everyday life. 

ISBN978-1542566698 | Number of Pages: 202 | Formats Available: Paperback & eBook 

Media & Publicity Inquiries: Daniel Mazier | 404-369-3363 | YourDeeSimone@gmail.com

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Full Press Kit

Is Sarmassophobia Hurting Your Dating Life or Relationships?

Recently, I was asked about the causes of sarmassophobia and how it affects women and their ability to get into relationships. Not having heard of sarmassophobia, I had to do some digging. I learned that sarmassophobia or malaxophobia is the fear of love play, for example, caressing, fondling, or other acts of physical intimacy. 

Who Is Affected By Sarmassophobia?

In my opinion, I think sarmassophobia would be common to victims of rape, sexual abuse, or sexual assault, although women who have not experienced sexual trauma could also have this phobia. For women who have been sexually victimized, developing a fear of love play is completely understandable.

For the other women, the fear of getting too close to a man and getting hurt, heartbroken, or let down in the long run could be the cause of their sarmassophobia. Or perhaps it could simply be the result of not wanting to move fast with men, not wanting to be used for sex or seen as a sex object, or not feeling comfortable enough with someone to engage in love play.

I was also asked whether I think sarmassophobia is a generational problem created by the fact that we are so consumed by social media and unrealistic views of love. With dating apps like Tinder and casual hook ups being more acceptable, to me, it seems more plausible that sarmassophobia would be declining among women who have not been sexually violated. 

How To Overcome Sarmassophobia

I do feel that it’s really important for women suffering from sarmassophobia to determine the root cause of this fear. In identifying the reason for your fear, you’ll be able to start making progress towards overcoming the fear altogether. If the cause of your phobia is from sexual trauma then psychological counseling with a licensed mental health professional will be necessary and extremely helpful.

Now, this isn’t to say that women should openly and freely engage in love play with men they don’t know, don’t like, or aren’t comfortable with. You definitely want to take the time to get to know the person you’re dating before you engage in love play.

The point is, if you meet a great guy who could be your perfect match, you want to be able to give him a genuine chance and not push him away because of your fears or past experiences. You can’t blame every man for one man’s actions.

If a man makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or makes unwelcome physical or sexual advances despite your rejection, immediately remove yourself from the situation.

For more great dating advice, get my new book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Single This Valentine’s Day? Here’s What You Need To Know

If you’re single, you shouldn’t mope around the house on Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day isn’t just about couples showing each other love, it’s also about showing love to your family and the people you care about.

Brighten a loved one’s day with a thoughtful card and chocolate, have a fabulous dinner with your bestie and paint the town red afterwards. It really doesn’t matter what you do, you could stay home and binge watch TV shows all night. What’s important is that you are making yourself happy and sharing your love with the people you love.

There’s no reason to be sad on Valentine’s Day. You have to be patient for the right love to come along and while you wait you should be working on loving yourself and making yourself happy. Doing this will keep you from sabotaging your next relationship by putting pressure on your boyfriend to create happiness for you. True happiness starts within.

For more great dating advice, get my new book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Image courtesy of Gubgib at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Welcome Back To Dee’s Dating Diary!

I first want to thank everyone who has been reading Dee’s Dating Diary, especially those of you who have been here from the start! If you’ve been reading my blog since I started it, you may have noticed that, in the past year, I’ve taken a few months off here and there from writing for Dee’s Dating Diary.

I used this time to focus on some other endeavors and I’m excited to tell you that I just finished writing my very first book! The book will be published this year and I will keep you updated on the official release date as well as upcoming events in your area.

I will also be sharing some excerpts from my book over the next few months so you’ll definitely want to check Dee’s Dating Diary out every Saturday at 8pm EST!

Thanks for letting Dee’s Dating Diary into your homes and hearts.

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

20 Ways To Be Single And Happy

Last week, I wrote about how there is a stigma attached to be being single and I discussed some reasons why there shouldn’t be a negative connotation associated with the word single. If you missed the post, check it out here: How To Be Happy And Single During The Holidays.

This week I’m giving you 20 ways to be single and happy during the holidays and every other day of your life:

  1. Stop seeing being single as a bad thing and embrace your singlehood.
  2. Stop thinking that the “grass is greener,” you never know what really goes on in a relationship.
  3. Do activities and hobbies that make you happy (painting, dancing, exercising, writing, etc.).
  4. Explore new hobbies by yourself or with friends.
  5. Don’t let not having a “plus 1” keep you from going to events you’re excited about.
  6. Try to find other singles at weddings and other events where there are a lot of couples.
  7. Ask a friend to join you in doing a partner activity.
  8. Join some Meet Up groups in your area to do things you enjoy and meet like-minded people.
  9. Stop entertaining and giving time to men who quickly show you they aren’t right for you.
  10. Stop talking to any man who puts you downs or tries to make you feel bad about yourself (this will save you a lot of emotional stress and keep you from feeling unhappy about yourself).
  11. Do things you are good at to increase your confidence.
  12. Plan vacations or getaways with your single friends and treat yourself to spa days. 
  13. Reflect on your past relationships to determine what things you need to work on for your next relationship, this will help empower you to recognize that you have control over many outcomes in your relationships.
  14. Plan dinner parties or brunches with your friends and tell them to leave their plus 1 at home.
  15. Schedule movie nights or a “girl’s night” every so often.
  16. Don’t be afraid to act happy that you are single and enjoying your life.
  17. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel about being single.
  18. Spend time focusing on bettering your community (join an activist group, volunteer, etc.)
  19. Spend time focusing on climbing your career ladder (Success doesn’t mean being married with kids for everyone).
  20. Always maintain your appearance keep doing your hair, nails, and wearing your favorite accessories. Looking good will help you feel good and this will also help you attract men.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

How do you stay single and happy? Share your thoughts in the comments below! 

*Dee’s Dating Diary is going on holiday and will be back Saturday, February 4, 2017. Don’t worry, you can still get great dating advice on a daily basis if you follow Dee’s Dating Diary on Twitter or Facebook. See you next year!

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image Courtesy of Franky242 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

How To Be Single And Happy During The Holidays

As a single woman, you know that family gatherings and holiday parties will mean one thing: getting questioned about your single status. From questions like, “are you dating anyone,” to “why do you think you’re still single,” being single during the holidays can feel stressful. But, it doesn’t have to be!

While it’s easy to let family and friends get into our heads, you can’t let other people make you feel bad about being single.

Although the holidays is a common source of singlehood stress, one of the most stressful events for single women is usually weddings. Instead of being seated at a table with other singles, women are often seated at a table with couples and married people.

What’s worse is that the conversations at these tables are often centered around the couple’s lives, marriage, and having kids. These conversations alienate single wedding attendees and this coupled with questions about where your husband is can easily make a woman feel less than. 

The Single Stigma

Unfortunately, the word “single” has a negative connotation that puts a stigma on husbandless women. People wrongly see you being single as a sign that something is wrong with you or that your problems keep you from holding on to a man for an extended period of time.

Many people wrongly think that if you’re single, it’s for a reason. When many of the people you know are married and having their second or third child, it’s easy for people to speculate on why you haven’t achieved this for yourself.

The truth is, being single is actually a great thing! You shouldn’t see your single status as a negative thing because being in the wrong relationship is what’s bad. Dealing with unnecessary drama and heartache just so you can say you have a man is what you should be afraid of, not being single.

It’s okay if you don’t want to be unhappily married. It’s okay if you want to hold out and wait for the right man to come along. It’s okay to not get swept up in wedding fever and look to the next man who asks you out to be your husband. It’s okay to happily live your life until you run into Mr. Right.

Why Single Shouldn’t Be Stigmatized

Being single is really a positive thing if you approach it the right way and are in the right mental place. Being single means you’re giving yourself the chance to meet a man who is right for you. Being single means you are not going to enter a relationship with a jerk or a controlling and abusive man just so you can feel some sort of fulfillment in the fact that you have someone.

Being single means you are finding, and loving who you really are. Being single means you know how to enjoy your life with or without a significant other. Being single means you know you are a whole woman who doesn’t need a man to complete her, just to complement who she is.

Being single gives you an opportunity to explore yourself and your core values. It allows you to learn more about yourself on a deeper level in a way that gives you a clearer vision of what type of person would best suit you. Being single allows you to see what your priorities in life really are. Being single gives you the objectivity you need to see men more realistically, that is, if you allow yourself to.

Redefine Your Singlehood

All this only happens if you open yourself up to it. If you’re stubborn and stuck in your ways while you’re single, you won’t have that positive growth that will bring you closer to finding the right man for you.

You need to reflect on your past experiences, consider your emotional needs, and identify those qualities that you know won’t help you cultivate a healthy, loving relationship. In doing these things, you will also be more clearly defining the type of man you actually need as opposed to the ones that you want.

Most importantly, you need to live your life and achieve happiness for yourself when you’re single. By doing this you’ll actually put yourself in a much better position to attract and keep the man of your dreams.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Tune in next week when I discuss 20 ways to be single and happy during the holidays and every other day of your life!

Till Next Time,

Dee

 Photo Credit: Image Courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Is Netflix And Chill An Acceptable First Date?

For those of you who are not familiar with the Netflix and chill date, it’s basically a date where you hang out at someone’s home and watch Netflix together.

Here’s the catch, the men that propose these kind of “dates” aren’t interested in having a real date with you. Instead, that want to lay on the couch or bed with you while watching a movie to make it easier for them to make a pass at you and get in your pants.

The Purpose of Netflix And Chill

The Netflix and chill date is really not a date at all. It’s the least amount of effort that a man can put into getting to know you. As a matter of fact, a man who wants to watch Netflix and chill most likely doesn’t really care about getting to know who you are.

He just wants to get you in an environment that will make it easy for him to come on to you. While many women know what to expect if they’re invited to Netflix and chill, some women are surprised to learn that the purpose of the date was for some no-strings-attached fun.

Of course, if you’ve already gone out on other dates, outside the home, then there’s nothing wrong with being invited over to Netflix and chill. However, your first three or four dates should be outside of each other’s home so that having premature sex won’t be an option.

And you’ll give yourself and your date the opportunity to really get to know each other and see if there is potential for a future relationship.

Do You Want A Relationship or Netflix And Chill Nights?

The reality is, men use Netflix and chill as a way to sleep with women as quickly as possible and with as little effort as necessary to accomplish that goal. If you don’t want just have a casual, sexual relationship, you don’t want to start off on that foot.

If you’re interested in more than just sex, you have to act that way and accepting a Netflix and chill date where you end up sleeping with a man too soon does not bring you any closer to attaining that. 

Now there are women who claim to be equally interested in sex on the first date as men, but a lot of these women eventually come to regret their decision to move quickly on the first date when they realize the man they slept with is no longer showing any interest.

Will Rejecting A Netflix And Chill Date Get You A Relationship?

I’m not saying that rejecting the Netflix and chill date will land you in a relationship with a man, but I am saying that you increase your chances of growing what you have into a relationship if you get to know the man you’re dating before sleeping with him and give him a chance to do the same.

You might even get to know a man and realize that he isn’t right for you at all, so by not jumping into the Netflix and chill date too soon, you give yourself an opportunity to see if a man is compatible with you before you go as far as sleeping with him.

Want To Know If He’s Interested In More Than Just Sex?

If you want to know if a man is interested in more than just sex, kindly turn down his suggestion for a Netflix and chill date and let him know that you’d like to get out of the house and do something fun or grab a bite or a drink.

If he’s still trying to pressure you into a Netflix and chill night or isn’t receptive to doing anything else, this man only sees you as an opportunity for sex and nothing more. 

Survey Results

Two weeks ago, I put an informal survey up on my blog asking, “Are you okay with Netflix and chill dates?” While I did not specify whether it was for a first date or otherwise, I found it interesting that 40% of those surveyed answered “yes,” 40% said “no,” and 20% chose “other.”

What are your thoughts on Netflix and chill for a first date? Let me know in the comments below!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image Courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Get A Free Consultation With Dee The Dating Coach!

Are you ready to get the help you need in your dating or relationship life? If so, I’m offering free consultations through November 30, 2016 to the first 10 people who contact me using the form below. Find out how a one-on-one session can help you improve your dating and relationship life!

For great dating advice you can keep on hand, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

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Survey: Are You Okay With Netflix And Chill Dates? 

Today, the Netflix and chill date has become pretty popular, but are women really happy when they are invited to Netflix and chill? Are women settling for these kind of “dates” or do they prefer it?

If you’re a woman who has been asked to Netflix and chill, answer my quick survey below:

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Here’s Why You Don’t Want To Date A Rich Man

Many women say they want to date or marry a rich man, but just because a man has a lot of money doesn’t mean you’re going to be happy in a relationship with him.

Wealth Doesn’t Equal Happiness

Wealth should never be a prerequisite for a relationship. Instead, you should be looking to see if a man has the important, non-superficial qualities that you NEED in a relationship. For example, is he considerate and not self-centered? Is he honest? Is he trustworthy? Is he emotionally available? Is he family oriented? Does he treat you with respect? Does he have a good heart?

Just because a man has a lot of money doesn’t mean he is a good person. Money does not create or enhance positive qualities like kindness, trustworthiness, or respect. These are completely separate considerations from money.

So, you may find that a man is very wealthy, but he’s inconsiderate, dishonest, condescending, or disrespectful towards you. You have to start focusing on the qualities in a man that would promote a great, healthy, and loving relationship. You also have to consider who you are as a person and what kind of qualities would complement that.

What’s more important than wealth is whether a man is self-sufficient. You should be concerned that a man can provide for himself and, if he wants a family one day, that he can also provide for a family.

A Downside Of Dating Rich Men

While many women firmly believe that their match will be a man with a lot of money, many of these women find themselves unhappy in these relationships because they don’t get to spend much time with their boyfriends.

Here’s the thing, a man who has built an empire that affords him the wealth and lifestyle that you think you want usually won’t be able to spend the kind of quality time you want with him. Building wealth and maintaining it requires a time commitment that often interferes with the time you would spend together.

You don’t become rich laying under your girlfriend or boyfriend all day. It requires dedication. It requires time. And if you’re the type of woman who likes to spend a lot of time with her boyfriend, there’s no way you would really be happy dating a rich man.

On the other hand, if you’re an independent woman who has her own career or business to consider, dating a rich man may not be an issue since you both would need more time to focus on your own work as opposed to the relationship.

If you want to live in the lap of luxury, provide that lifestyle for yourself and stop looking for a man to do it for you.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image Courtesy of Flare at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How to Bring Up Relationship Problems Without Making Your Boyfriend Defensive

If you want to bring up relationship problems without making your boyfriend get defensive, you’re going to have to address the conversation from a “This is how I feel” standpoint. Meaning instead of saying “YOU always do this” or “YOU never clean up after yourself,” you have to explain how you feel by speaking in first person.

So, you would say something like, “After a long day at work, I feel so exhausted that’s it’s hard for me to find the energy to clean. It would be so helpful if I had an extra hand around the house.” Speaking from a place of “I” and not, “You” allows a person to hear your concerns more clearly.

Using the word “you” automatically makes most people feel attacked and this is can hold you back from having a productive, positive conversation. Also, being careful to say “I feel…” instead of ” You (insert behavior here)” will keep all the unnecessary low blows out of the discussion.

When you stick to only talking about how you feel, you keep yourself from making the conversation a childish one where you ignite more flames as opposed to putting them out.

Try not to use the word “you” the next time you have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about a relationship problem and see how it goes. 

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

15 Signs You’re Not Okay With Being Friends With Benefits

Today, there are so many people in the “friends with benefits” situation. While many women will say that they have needs too and are okay with having a friend with benefits, the truth is, women usually feel differently after a few weeks or months. Many women go into these situations thinking they can keep their emotions in check and never want more than what they’re getting, but down the line women always want more.

When Does “Friends With Benefits” Stop Working?

If the friends with benefits thing is going well, you’ll start to think, “Hey, we get along and enjoy each other’s company, why don’t we just date each other?” And that’s when things go sour. If you bring up the idea of being more than just hook-up buddies you’ll usually find that the man isn’t interested in being more than what you are now.

Or, maybe your relationship was benefits with no friendship at all and then your guy starts spending time with you outside of the bedroom and you start thinking, “Maybe he’s interested in being more since he’s actually spending quality time with me and not just coming over to have sex.” Well, that’s usually not the case. Just because you start spending more time together doesn’t mean that a man has developed feelings for you and wants to get serious.

Why You Can’t Turn A Hook-Up Buddy Into A Boyfriend

When you become hook-up buddies, your buddy gets to have his cake and eat it too so when you approach him about being more, there’s no way that he is going to want to limit himself to just you. And why would he after he’s been able to have you with no strings attached while still having the option of talking to and sleeping with any other woman he wants.

The reality is, after you have been sleeping with someone for a while, you will start to develop feelings for the person as hard as you try not to. Very few women can actually maintain a casual relationship without eventually wanting to seek more. There are also men who can’t have casual sex without eventually wanting more, but that’s not most men because they tend to be better at separating sex and feelings.

Why You Become “Friends With Benefits”

Most of the time, women do not end up in friends with benefits situations because that is what they are seeking out. Instead, they usually meet a man who lets them know he isn’t interested in a relationship or marriage and the woman goes along with it because deep down inside she feels like she has to take what she can get and she hopes that she can eventually turn the casual sex into a real relationship.

Here’s the thing, you can’t turn sex into a relationship. Yes, you’ve heard of some women that were able to turn their hook-up buddy into a husband, but that’s the exception to the rule not the rule. And we can’t all be the exception, so you have to stop thinking that you can change men and what they say they want.

If you’re not sure whether you’re really okay with being friends with benefits, here are 15 signs you’re not okay being friends with benefits:

  1. You feel bad, sad, frustrated, annoyed, or anything at all about the fact the he comes over, has sex with you, and leaves right after.
  2. You don’t like that he doesn’t sleep over.
  3. You don’t like that he only contacts you late at night or at the last-minute.
  4. You don’t like that he only contacts you when he wants to come over.
  5. You don’t like that he doesn’t take you out or do things with you outside of the house.
  6. You don’t like when he refers to you as a friend.
  7. You wonder whether he’s sleeping with other women.
  8. You don’t want him to sleep with other women.
  9. You don’t like that he hides you from his family and friends.
  10. You don’t like that he won’t meet your girlfriends.
  11. You don’t like that he isn’t affectionate with you.
  12. You don’t like that he flirts with other women around you.
  13. You lie to yourself or your friends and act like you’re in a relationship.
  14. You stop putting yourself out there to meet other eligible men you could potentially have a relationship with.
  15. You wonder if you can turn your hook-up buddy into a boyfriend.

If you think you might want to be more than just friends with benefits, you can’t start the relationship off that way. Take your time and get to know the guys you meet and stop trying to convince yourself that all you want is a casual relationship simply because that’s all you’re being offered at the moment.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

With advanced technology and the widespread use of online dating, many people have given long distance relationships a try. According to the infographic below, about 14 million people in the U.S. are in long distance relationships.

However, sustaining a long distance relationship is not easy and they are destined for failure unless one person is willing to eventually move and end the long distance aspect of the relationship. If you’re interested in more information on long distance relationships and how you can make them work, check out this infographic:

Infographic courtesy of www.cantwejustgetalongcounselling.com

For great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

15 Signs You’ve Been Rejected

If a man is not really interested in you, he usually won’t tell you. Instead, he will do other things to show you that he doesn’t see a future with you or doesn’t want to continue seeing you at all. As women, we tend not to want to move on from a man until we know with certainty that there’s no hope for a future with him.

However, the reality is that a man usually won’t verbally state his disinterest in you. It’s up to you to pay attention to the signs that a man may be rejecting you. So, here are 15 signs you’ve been rejected by a man:

1. If he doesn’t call you for several days or weeks, you’ve been rejected.
2. If weeks go by and he hasn’t asked you out or made any plans with you, you’ve been rejected.
3. If he stands you up or doesn’t contact you the day you scheduled a date, you’ve been rejected.
4. If he cancels your date because he found something more fun to do, you’ve been rejected.
5. If he cancels or reschedules your date two or more times in a row, you’ve been rejected.
6. If he says he’s not ready for a commitment, you’ve been rejected.
7. If he says he’s not looking for anything serious, you’ve been rejected.
8. If he says he doesn’t want to tie you down or get in the way of your life, you’ve been rejected.
9. If he says he still has feelings for his ex, you’ve been rejected.
10. If he says his schedule is too busy to date or have a relationship, you’ve been rejected.
11. If he says he doesn’t date women for more than a few months, you’ve been rejected.
12. If he brings a friend along on your date, you’ve been rejected.
13. If he suggests setting you up with a friend, you’ve been rejected.
14. If he doesn’t want you to know where he lives, you’ve been rejected.
15. If he can reach you, but you can never reach him, you’ve been rejected.

Now, just because a man contacts you down the line after he has rejected you in one of these ways doesn’t mean he has a renewed interest in you. He hasn’t all of a sudden realized that he let a good woman go. A guy that has rejected you may contact you again out of boredom or to see if he still has a chance with you because he’s really just looking for something casual.

Just because you get a random phone call one evening asking what you’re doing in the next hour doesn’t mean a man is interested in you for anything more than a casual relationship. Rejection usually does not come in the form of a clear explanation of disinterest. Men will always avoid telling you that they just don’t like you.

So, you have to be able to read men’s behavior and take their choice to only call you or see you randomly or sporadically for what it really is: rejection of any potential growth into a real relationship. 

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Why You Should Always Dress Like You’re Meeting Mr. Right

Although you hope to be ready when you run across Mr. Right, you really never know when that moment may come. You may meet the next love of your life while you’re grocery shopping or running errands. And while we tend not to put much effort into our appearance when we are going to do mundane tasks, the truth is, you should always be dressed the way you would want a potential future boyfriend to see you. 

I’m not saying you always need to leave your house like you’re going to a black tie event, but your outfit should look pretty and well put together. You don’t necessarily need to wear makeup, but you should look presentable and attractive. Take some time to pick out an outfit that flatters you and put on some perfume, earrings and/or a necklace, and rock your hottest lip gloss or lipstick.

You never know when you might meet your next boyfriend so be prepared and never leave your house looking sloppy!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time, 

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is Your Beauty Routine Putting Your Health At Risk?

Before you go on dates, it’s very important that you put time into making yourself look polished and beautiful. And for many women, this also means getting their eyebrows, upper lip, legs, or bikini area waxed. What’s scary is that, after talking to many women who get waxed, few are aware of a potential health risk they are facing.

Yes, you want to look perfect for your date, but you have to be careful about where you get waxed. If you routinely wax your eyebrows or other areas of your body, you know that your wax technician has to get more wax from the heated container a few times in order to remove all the hair from the area you’re waxing. Here’s the problem, many places that offer waxing services aren’t doing this in a hygienic manner.

What’s The Problem?

You will find that many wax technicians use one wooden stick per customer and will re-dip that same stick in the vat of wax several times, placing any germs that are on your body right into that container of wax. The issue with this is that most places don’t change the wax after each customer. This means that every time your wax technician re-dips the same wooden stick in the wax, they’re putting your bodily germs into all the wax that will be used throughout the day on different people (men and women).

If the place where you get waxed does this with you, they’re doing it with everyone else too, which means you are being exposed to other people’s bodily germs as well. You may have only gone to get your eyebrows or upper lip waxed, but perhaps the person before you got a Brazilian wax with the buttocks strip as well. If your technicians don’t use a new wooden stick every time they get more wax to apply on you, your technician is spreading other people’s germs right onto your eyebrows, upper lip, bikini, or any other area you’re waxing. This is NOT okay.

Where Should You Go?

A good place that offers waxing services will use a new wooden stick every time they get more wax from the heated container so it never gets contaminated and the waxing process remains hygienic. If you get waxed at a place that doesn’t use a new wooden stick each time they dig for more wax, you need to stop going there immediately!!

Call around and find a waxing place that doesn’t double dip their wooden sticks so you don’t expose yourself to unnecessary health risks during the waxing process.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Are You In A Relationship Or A Situationship?

Today, many women are finding themselves in situationships. And yes, these situationships sometimes do resemble a relationship, but when you look at the big picture, it’s clearly not a relationship. A lot of woman are just taking what they get from men and that is the furthest thing from a real relationship.

It seems that the women in situationships are so eager to have someone that they will literally take whatever scraps a man will throw their way. If a man will only spare a few hours of his time on Tuesday nights, she’ll take it. If he only makes time to see her on the weekend when it’s past 9 or 10 pm, she’ll be happy for the time. If he’s “too busy to call” for a week or more, that’s okay with her.

The fact that he never makes plans in advance and makes general references to seeing her by saying things like, “Maybe we can grab a bite to eat or watch a movie this weekend,” without following through doesn’t stop her from continuing the situation. She only sees him when he wants to see her, but she won’t rock the boat by saying that she isn’t comfortable with the situation because she doesn’t want to lose it altogether.

Why Are Situationships Accepted?

Unfortunately, it’s a lack of self-worth and self-respect that allows women to tolerate a situation where her needs and wants are never met, addressed, or even acknowledged. Being in a situationship means being on call for the guy you’re dating. You don’t make plans with your friends because you have to leave your schedule wide open for the moment he chooses to contact you to see you last-minute. And more times than not, you end up having a sad night at home alone because you don’t get the phone call or text that you thought you would.

When you’re “on call” for a man and you do get that text or phone call Saturday night at 9pm, you jump for joy. Of course, since you haven’t seen him in awhile you’re eager to accept his invitation for a late night rendezvous and possible sleep over. But ultimately, this only enables his behavior. And because you’re so happy to finally have the opportunity to be with him, any thought of talking about your needs or concerns fly out of the window. So this man gets to have his cake and eat it too, he gets to have you when he wants and doesn’t have to deal with the fact that he isn’t satisfying you emotionally or giving you the relationship you deserve.

And, if he actually spends the night at your place and hangs out with you Sunday morning this reinforces your belief that you really do have a relationship. The truth is, you only have this semi-relationship when he wants it. And he usually only wants it sporadically or late in the evening after he’s already gone out and done his thing. It’s also likely that he’s only seeing you after the person he really wanted to see was unavailable.

Don’t Let Your Situation Define Who You Are

At the end of the day, situationships destroy whatever remaining self-esteem you have for yourself. You develop an unhealthy dynamic where you only feel good about yourself when the guy is communicating with you and when he’s not you feel insecure, worthless, or unattractive. Your entire well-being is in his hands and this is a terrible position to put yourself in.

There comes a time in every situationship where a woman needs to decide whether the situation is right for her. If you’re in a situationship, the time is now. What do you really want for your future? If it’s scraps then by all means, help yourself! But, if you want a meaningful, loving, and healthy relationship, it’s time to let go of your situation!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net