My Blog has a purpose: To help others while helping me deal with me. It’s part of my personal penance. So let me summarize what I’ve said to others before.
If you think in any way I’m excusing affairs. I’m not. Let me be completely frank about affairs: They are 100% WRONG!
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This post gives hope for women who are wondering if their ex ever looked back and regretted his behavior or actions. This kind of honesty is refreshing!!
Here I am, on a nice sunday, with a beer in my hand , thinking about how my life totally went the opposite way I had imagined it would be.
It’s quite funny, because I was watching “How I met your mother”, it was the time travel episode, and at the end, Ted Mosby pulls the legendary speech to his wife ( the mother ) which was very very touching ( implying indirectly that the mother is dead in the future ).
I got so touched by it, that it made my whole mood down and then I started thinking about my love life and how having no one is the main reason of my sorrow currently.
Love is a wonderful thing. I can assure you that. We were made for this. When you are young, all what you think about is sex. When you start growing up, you still…
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A lot of women put off working on themselves because they feel like “Well, if I’m not in a relationship, what’s the point?” “Who am I working on myself for?”
Well the answer to that question is YOU!
Are You a Good Woman?
Every woman wants a good man, but let’s face it: A good man deserves a good woman, period!
Get yourself together now so that when you’re ready to take that big step, a good man will be ready to take it with you!
Self-Defeating Behavior
We have to stop saying things like, “Well, it’s obvious this guy doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship with me so why should I change myself??” Or “I’m not looking for anything serious, I just want to date and have fun!”
Well, when you’re done having all that fun, those habits you’ve developed and ingrained into your way of life may be the same habits that keep you from finding and keeping a good man.
If your not interested in fixing your faults or bad habits because you’re not in a relationship or whatever the excuse, here is your reality check:
You still need to work on yourself because bad habits are hard to break and if you don’t start at least trying and practicing now, there’s not much of a chance that you’ll change years down the line!
Practice, Practice, Practice!
Ladies, we all know that it’s hardest to play it cool or follow “the rules” when you are REALLY into a man or have already categorized him as “the one.”
So, you really need to practice not doing those bad habits that get you labeled as “the stalker,”or the “crazy girl” or whatever your kryptonite is. Once you’ve been practicing for awhile, it won’t be as hard to stop yourself from doing those things you know you shouldn’t do.
There’s no need to fall apart and moan about everything you think you are not. Instead, focus on becoming the person that you yourself would want to date.
While some women are aware of the flaws and bad habits that hinder them in the dating world, many women are not. Either way, we all need to continuously work on ourselves for the better.
What is Working on Yourself?
When I say “work on ourselves,” I mean we need to do some serious introspective evaluations to determine what our bad habits or flaws are and better understand those characteristics that are holding us back in dating, love and life in general.
Perhaps, you’re extremely needy and clingy, or overly distant. Or, your first dates with men are more like interviews or interrogations more so than actual dates.
Do your insecurities or lack of self-esteem lead to you chasing men away with your jealousy or constant need for reassurance and attention?
Maybe you consciously or unconsciously let men know that you are ready to settle down and have kids like yesterday! Regardless of whether a man is actively looking for marriage, kids, and the whole shebang, you can scare him off by putting marriage and kids on the table on the first few dates. This reeks desperation!
Whatever your flaws may be, you yourself need to know what they are! That’s the only way you’ll be able to work on changing them or learn how to downplay them so they don’t negatively affect your life.
Not Everything Can Be Changed
Now, I realize that not every character flaw or bad habit can necessarily be changed, but it can be downplayed! And, for the habits that can be changed, why not change them?
Regardless of whether you’re casually dating, dating the wrong man, or not dating at all, you have to work on yourself!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
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Emotionally Unavailable? Should You Be Dating?
Plenty of these “tips” should be ignored!!! My favorite was “You can’t expect [insert act of basic human decency here] from men. They’re hopeless.”
This is hilarious! Why shouldn’t we expect basic human decency from men?? It’s time to stop cutting men so much slack that they can get away with having no human decency! Great post! Thanks for the laughs!
Access the full article here: 21 Pieces of Relationship Advice you Should Always Ignore
It really is time to start slowing down the dating process and enjoying the ride instead of making it a long term examination that a man has to pass.
I don’t know about you, but often times I get caught up in the looking at the finish line that I don’t even notice anything else that’s going on around me. I’m like that a lot in everything I do, I just want to get to my goal as fast as I can. I’ve also noticed that in my personal life as well. I sometimes am so focused on the finish line, getting where I want to be that forget to stop and smell the roses and just “be” where I’m at. I’m not the only one. Most people are like that.
It took me a while to realize that. It was one of the main reasons that I married the wrong person way back when. I was so focused on being “the bride” and fitting into the “box” that I turned a blind eye to many red flags. The…
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Dee’s Dating Diary is a place where women can share their experiences, both bad and good, with dating, love, and life in general. Our experiences as women define the people we are and we can’t let our negative experiences in … Continue reading
Dee's Dating Diary 