Category Archives: Dating Advice

Are You Guilty Of Qualifying Your Confidence?

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Although everyone struggles with confidence in different areas of life, there’s one specific type of confidence problem I see with many women. I call it qualified confidence.

What is Qualified Confidence?

Qualified confidence is when a person reduces their confidence, or qualifies it, in regards to a specific quality or area of their life because someone else exhibits the quality in a better way.

For example, Rebecca thought she was beautiful, but when she went to college she met women she thought were much prettier than her and truly beautiful.

So, she started feeling that she was only “okay” since there were other women who were much prettier than she was. Believing that she wasn’t really pretty anymore, she reduced her confidence, she qualified her confidence based on her perception of other women’s beauty.

Does It Only Apply To Looks?

This doesn’t just apply to looks and physical features, women tend to qualify their confidence in other areas of their life too. A woman may think she is not as good an athlete because she knows that there are better athletes out there.

Or, a woman thinks she isn’t very good in her professional or entrepreneurial life because she knows of another woman who is doing much better than she is.

This is qualified confidence and it’s extremely detrimental to our emotional well-being and our ability to be truly happy with ourselves.

Why You Shouldn’t Qualify Your Confidence 

We are all unique human beings and are great in our own way and just because someone may be better at something than you does not mean that you aren’t one of the best too!

Take Usain Bolt, for example, he crushed his opponents and even had time to smile for the cameras while beating them.

Should the people who came in second, third, or fourth place feel like they are lesser athletes because they lost to Usain Bolt? Of course not! They are still the best runners in their country so it would be ridiculous for them to qualify, or reduce, their confidence because someone else is faster than them.

The same applies to you, ladies! Don’t ever reduce your confidence because you think someone is prettier, smarter, more athletic, or more anything than you. Recognize your strengths, love yourself, and know that you are great just the way you were made!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I Am What You See – A Women’s Empowerment Event

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On April 30, 2017, I will be speaking at the “I Am What You See” women’s empowerment event at the Burt Ferguson Community Center in Memphis, TN.

Join us for this empowering, motivational, inspirational, and confidence-building event where you will find out why you’re amazing just the way you are!

This event is FREE and all attendees will get a FREE LUNCH during the event! 

There will also be door prizes and a silent auction! The vendors, as of right now, include Makeda’s Cookies, Avon, Mary Kay, Paparazzi Jewelry, Parents & Purses, and Paycation Travel.

Seating is limited and going fast so reserve your spot today: Reserve My Seat

I will also be signing books after the event. If you haven’t gotten your copy of my book, it’s not too late, you can get one through Amazon here: Picking Up The Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself For The Love And Relationship You Deserve or through Barnes & Noble.

Can’t wait to see you there!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Help! My Girlfriend Breaks Up With Me Once A Week!

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Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

My girlfriend keeps breaking up and getting back together with me. At first it happened every few months, but now it’s been happening once a week and I don’t know what to do. I love this woman. We’ve been dating for a couple of years and I forgive her for doing this, but it’s really starting to make me feel bad about myself and I want it to stop. Every time she breaks up with me she says we’re not compatible, but we never fight and we have a great time together. What should I do?

Dear Dater,

You definitely don’t deserve to be put through this kind of emotional roller coaster, but the good thing is that you’re recognizing her bad relationship habits with you. In the beginning, she only broke up with you every few months, but now it’s happening every week, which tells you that this behavior (and the relationship) is getting progressively worse.

Although you say you guys never fight and have a great time together, there is obviously something else going on underneath the surface that’s causing your girlfriend to want to jump ship frequently. I do think it’s important to point out though that just because you never have disagreements in a relationship, doesn’t mean it’s a good relationship. Your situation is a great example of that.

If your girlfriend felt like the relationship was great too then why would she keep breaking up with you every week? Maybe your girlfriend is considering being with another man, maybe she feels like she’s settling by dating you, maybe she’s always looking for the next best thing, or maybe she has commitment issues. Unfortunately, without knowing your girlfriend, I can’t pinpoint the source of her relationship anxiety.

What I can say for certain though is that there’s something going on that your girlfriend isn’t talking to you about. Have an open, non-confrontational conversation with her about how this back and forth has made you feel and give her an opportunity to explain her true feelings. This will allow you to address any issues she may have been afraid to bring up in the past.

If communicating about this problem doesn’t resolve it, then all I can do for you is help you see what it is that you really want out of a relationship. While you can’t control your girlfriend’s behavior and stop her from breaking up with you periodically, you do have control over yourself and what you accept or tolerate from women. So, consider the following questions and answer them honestly:

  1. Do you believe you deserve unconditional love?
  2. Do you want to be in a relationship where you feel like your girlfriend loves you as much as you love her?
  3. Are you okay with constantly worrying about when your girlfriend will break up with you next?
  4. Do you want to date a woman who, after a couple of years, knows definitively that she only wants to date you?
  5. Do you want a girlfriend that won’t take you on emotional roller coaster rides every week?

Your answers to these questions will help you determine what’s best for you and how to move forward. In my personal opinion, your girlfriend’s behavior says that she doesn’t value you or appreciate you to the extent that she should. Girlfriends should make you feel better about yourself not worse. You shouldn’t have to wonder whether your girlfriend really loves you or whether she’s going to break up with you next week.

Nonetheless, give her a chance to redeem herself by opening up to you and re-committing herself to the relationship. If this doesn’t work or she doesn’t want to, it’s time to cut your ties not only for your emotional well-being, but also so you have the ability to find the kind of love and relationship you truly desire and deserve. A good man deserves a good woman, not a woman who doesn’t recognize what she has!

Always do what is best for your emotional well-being. I wish you all the best!

For more great dating advice, get my new book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Are You Really Ready For Better Relationships?

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Ladies, consider these questions:

  • Have you ever been dating a guy who suddenly disappeared into thin air?
  • Is it hard for you to trust men?
  • Have you wondered if you’ll ever meet your Mr. Right?
  • Do you feel like there are no good men out there?
  • Do you think you need to settle for any man who is willing to marry you?

Picking up the Pieces will help you attract the love of your life and keep him. Because it encourages you to hold a mirror up to yourself, this book challenges you to face the reality of how you’ve been holding yourself back in your dating and love life.

The first half of this book will guide you through making positive, internal changes using strategic exercises along with tailor-made affirmations. The second half is comprised of dating advice that helps you identify what your Mr. Right looks like while you gain valuable knowledge that will help you navigate the dating world.

Coupled together, this will ultimately bring about the amazing love you truly desire and deserve. You’ll not only be bursting with confidence, but you’ll also be equipped with the tools you need to quickly weed out the frogs and live happily ever after with your prince.

This is a life-changing journey to a better you and better relationships. Are you ready for the ride of your life? Get The Book

As of today, my ebook is officially available on Kindle: Get The eBook

Till Next Time,

Dee

How One Immigrant’s Story Gave Life To A Life Coach (Press Release)

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

HOW ONE IMMIGRANT’S STORY GAVE LIFE TO A LIFE COACH

MIAMI – February 25, 2017 – Dee Simone’s story starts 50 years ago, with the story of her immigrant father, a man who was homeless in Nigeria because his mother abandoned him. Simone has a story—and a life—because her father convinced his best friend to sell his car and give the money to him so that he could buy a plane ticket to the United States of America. With $20 in his pocket, Simone’s father came to this country, worked as a janitor—and at several other odd jobs—and put himself through college and then medical school. 

After Simone’s father found success as a doctor, he brought his best friend to the U.S. and helped him get through medical school to become a doctor as well. Simone’s father’s generosity didn’t stop there; he provided free healthcare and conducted free medical missions within his communities in the U.S. as well as communities in South America and Nigeria.

One of four daughters, Simone became an attorney, a certified mediator, a dating and life coach, and now an author. Following in her father’s footsteps, she continues to give back to her communities and inspires women to find happiness and true love by loving themselves first. Her unique book, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve, is more than just dating advice. It’s a journey about self-love, personal growth, and pursuing your goals.

Before providing women with the tools and dating advice they need to identify what their Mr. Right looks like and then how to keep him, this book first encourages women to critically evaluate themselves—using strategic exercises—to recognize the ways they have hindered their own dating lives and relationships. Simone also helps women create tailor-made affirmations to build their confidence, recognize their strengths, and replace any negative thoughts or beliefs about men, dating, and relationships. This book is surely a game-changer!

Picking up the Pieces is available for purchase on www.YourDeeSimone.com and Amazon; the eBook will be available on Kindle March 4, 2017, but it can be pre-ordered now using this link: Kindle Pre-Orders. For more information about Picking up the Pieces, please visit www.YourDeeSimone.com. 

About Dee Simone – Dee Simone is your dating and life coach extraordinaire. She’s a licensed attorney and certified mediator with a degree in sociology. Dee also writes dating advice articles for online publications and created Dee’s Dating Diary (www.DeesDatingDiary.com) to provide women with valuable dating advice they can use in their everyday life. 

ISBN: 978-1542566698 | Number of Pages: 202 | Formats Available: Paperback & eBook 

Media & Publicity Inquiries: Daniel Mazier | 404-369-3363 | YourDeeSimone@gmail.com

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Full Press Kit

Welcome Back To Dee’s Dating Diary!

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I first want to thank everyone who has been reading Dee’s Dating Diary, especially those of you who have been here from the start! If you’ve been reading my blog since I started it, you may have noticed that, in the past year, I’ve taken a few months off here and there from writing for Dee’s Dating Diary.

I used this time to focus on some other endeavors and I’m excited to tell you that I just finished writing my very first book! The book will be published this year and I will keep you updated on the official release date as well as upcoming events in your area.

I will also be sharing some excerpts from my book over the next few months so you’ll definitely want to check Dee’s Dating Diary out every Saturday at 8pm EST!

Thanks for letting Dee’s Dating Diary into your homes and hearts.

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Get A Free Consultation With Dee The Dating Coach!

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Are you ready to get the help you need in your dating or relationship life? If so, I’m offering free consultations through November 30, 2016 to the first 10 people who contact me using the form below. Find out how a one-on-one session can help you improve your dating and relationship life!

For great dating advice you can keep on hand, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

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Help! My Boyfriend Slept With Someone Else While We Were Broken Up!

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Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

It’s been 2 weeks since I got back together with my boyfriend and he came back after the break up even more of a sweetheart, but there is one catch…He admitted to me that he slept with someone else in his words “I was just trying to get you out of my head.” 
 
I totally understand that we weren’t together when it happened so, duh, it wasn’t cheating, but I am struggling with dealing with him being with someone else in-between, that I’m not the only one he’s been with this year/this age he’s at, the fact that he’s got a higher sex number, etc. Our reunion has been bittersweet…On one hand he’s a better man and is willing to give me everything I’ve ever wanted, and on another he slept with someone in such a gross way it’s a huge turn off for me. 
 
I’m having so much trouble coming to terms with this one fact. Am I wrong for letting something that happened when we were broken up affect my happiness? I’m interested in your thoughts.
 
Dear Dater,
 
It’s completely understandable that you aren’t comfortable with the fact that your boyfriend slept with another woman while you were broken up. However, you shouldn’t let something that happened while you were broken up affect your happiness. 
 
At this point,  you’ve already gotten back together with your ex so if you want to make the relationship work you’re going to have to move past this. But you also need to be honest with yourself, if this is something you’re never going to be able to let go of, then it’s best that you and your boyfriend go your separate ways.
 
If you’re sure that you want to make this relationship work then you need to know that you won’t get over this situation overnight. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to lessen and eventually eliminate the negative feelings you’re currently having:

1. Get Tested Together

First, I suggest that you and your boyfriend go get tested together. Even if your boyfriend used protection during sex, condoms are not 100% effective against STDs! I think that getting a clean bill of health for both of you will help put your mind at ease and really allow you to start moving on from this.

2. Forgive Him

If you’re going to stay in this relationship, you have to forgive your boyfriend. You can’t continue to dwell on this, hold this over his head, or harbor these feelings or it will have a negative impact on your relationship in the long run.
 
Since you were broken up when he slept with someone else he really didn’t violate your relationship. However, if your boyfriend broke up with you for the sole purpose of sleeping with someone else, that would be a totally different story, but I don’t believe that is the case here. 

3. Have An Honest Conversation 

You need to have a conversation with your boyfriend where you let him know that you were bothered by him sleeping with someone else while broken up, but that you fully forgive him and want to move forward.
 
You also want to let your boyfriend know that you won’t hold this over his head or bring it up in future arguments so that he’ll know he won’t have to pay for this the entire relationship.

4. Don’t Focus On His “Number”

Unfortunately, you most likely won’t have the same number of sex partners as the men you date. This is just the reality so you have to move past wanting to have the same number as your boyfriends. The most important thing is that your future boyfriends practice safe sex and get tested regularly so they never put your health at risk!

 

I hope this advice helps you and I wish you all the best in your love life!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone 

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dee’s Dating Essentials

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This week I had the pleasure of going on the Love Unlimited Show to discuss my dating essentials. Check out the recorded show for great tips on how to meet new men, use online dating, optimize your first dates, and much more!

Love Unlimited- Dee’s Dating Essentials

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Is It Okay To Tell The Man You’re Dating What To Wear?

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Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

Is it okay to tell the guy you’re dating what to wear?

Dear Dater,

If you’re dating a man and simply don’t like his choice of clothes, it’s not okay to try to control how he dresses. Once you’re in a committed relationship, you can make some suggestions of clothes that you think would look great on him, but it’s still up to him to accept those suggestions. 

However, if you’re going on a date that requires a guy to dress up or dress down, you definitely want to let him know. It wouldn’t be right to let your date show up to a nice place in a t-shirt, shorts, and sandals. 

While some women find it difficult to accept certain men’s dress style, if you’re dating a great guy who treats you well, the last thing you should be thinking about is his choice of clothes. 

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Good luck and happy dating!

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Get A Free Consultation With Dee The Dating Coach

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Image courtesy of Marcolm/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Do you need dating or relationship advice? If so, I’m offering free consultations through April 30, 2016 to the first 10 people who contact me using the form below. See first hand, and for FREE, how a one-on-one session can help your dating and relationship life.

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Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date Men Who Live With Their Exes

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Veronica’s Story*

When Veronica started dating Charles, he was completely upfront and honest about the fact that he still lived with his ex-girlfriend. He told Veronica that they broke up months ago, but neither could afford to move out before the lease was up. Charles assured Veronica that he and his ex lived strictly as roommates and that he no longer had feelings for her. Veronica appreciated that Charles was honest about his living situation and she felt confident in her choice to continue dating him.

Although Veronica wasn’t interested in spending time at Charles’ apartment since his ex-girlfriend would be there, she didn’t like the fact that they could only hang out at her apartment. On top of that, Charles would never sleep at Veronica’s place because he wasn’t sure how his ex would react to him dating just months after the relationship ended. While this didn’t sit well with Veronica, she wrote off her feelings and swept her slight bitterness under the rug.

As the 4th of July holiday approached, Veronica asked Charles if he wanted to barbecue together at her place. He told her yes, but that it would have to be closer to the evening because he was going to another barbecue. When she asked if it was a certain friend’s barbecue who told her it was actually his ex-girlfriend’s family’s barbecue. Veronica was crushed.

The whole time she dated Charles she genuinely believed that him and his ex had completely cut ties, but that wasn’t the case at all. She asked him why he would be going to their barbecue and he said he didn’t want his ex to feel bad because she had to go alone. Obviously, this was a load of crap and Veronica knew that Charles had not been as upfront and honest about his “ex” as she thought he’d been.

Moral of the story? No matter what reasons or excuses a man gives you, you should never date a man who still lives with his ex-girlfriend and here are four important reasons why:

1. It’s Probably Not Over

If you’re dating a man who lives with his “ex,” there’s a good chance that your new love interest is still in that relationship.

2. The Attachment Isn’t Broken

You can’t completely get over an ex and move on when you still live together. You need to know that your date still has a strong emotional attachment to his ex. A man might tell you that he’s over his ex, but living together allows a person to temporarily escape some of the pain that a full separation would cause.

3. Relationship Relapses Are Real

If the relationship is actually over, this doesn’t mean you’re in the clear. When you continue living with an ex after a break up, getting back together is all too easy and you could get your heartbroken all because of residual feelings that eventually are acted upon.

4. You’ll Always Be The Rebound Girl

Another important reason why you shouldn’t date men that live with their exes is because you become the rebound girl. All you are is a crutch for this man to bridge the gap between leaving his ex and regaining his freedom. Remember, men usually never end up seriously dating or marrying the rebound girl.

Give a man time to fully untangle himself from his last relationship and emotionally move on before considering him as a date option.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

*The names in this article have been changed for anonymity.
Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

After Two Years of Great Dating Advice…

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The month of December makes two years since I started Dee’s Dating Diary. It has been an amazing journey and I am truly touched by all the people who have been reading, liking, and commenting on my blog.

From the personal dating and relationship stories you have shared with me to the support you have shown for Dee’s Dating Diary, I am honored to be a person you feel comfortable opening up to as well as a person whose advice you trust. 

After two years of bringing you valuable dating and relationship advice each and every Saturday, Dee’s Dating Diary is going on vacation! While I won’t be posting any new articles to my website until Saturday, January 9, 2016, you can still get great dating advice everyday if you follow me on Twitter and Facebook!

Follow me on Twitter here: Dee’s Dating Diary on Twitter

Follow me on Facebook here: Dee’s Dating Diary Facebook Page

Stay informed with the dating and relationship articles I’ll share on my social media and I’ll see you in the new year!

Till Next Time,

Dee

Does The Man You’re Dating Only See You As An Option?

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“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” ~ Maya Angelou

This is one of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes. It’s profound and offers timeless wisdom! While this quote does apply to life generally and our friendships, it definitely applies to dating as well. You should never prioritize a man who doesn’t feel strongly enough about you to do the same.

The kind of man you really want to date is eager to see you. He would rather go out with you than “the boys.” You never want to be an afterthought in a man’s mind. Of course, spontaneity is welcome after you’ve been on some dates, but if you just met a man and he only contacts you a few hours or an hour before he wants to see you, then you are definitely just an option!

How many of you have been guilty of canceling plans with your girlfriends because a guy asked you out at the last-minute? And, how did that work out for you? Are you still dating that guy?

The truth is, you should never cancels plans with your friends to prioritize any man. If you don’t think he will ask you out again if you turn down his last-minute date, then this isn’t a man you should waste any time trying to date. 

When a man takes the time to ask you out in advance, it shows you that he is actually thinking about you and you definitely want to be on a man’s mind! For more great reasons why you shouldn’t accept last-minute dates from men, check out my article No More Last Minute Dates!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Too Busy or Too Available For Online Dating?

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Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

I work a challenging schedule right now because I work overnight most nights at a hotel, and I just started online dating again. I’m a pretty experienced online dater but it seems no matter what I do, if I’m too busy in the beginning the guy gets turned off right away, and when I’m too available that makes them stray away just as fast too. Any advice? 

Dear Dater,

Being too busy or too unavailable can lead to a man losing interest, especially if you haven’t already established a good connection. And, you’re right, if you are too available you can run a man off just as fast. 

I understand being busy, but if you’re really interested in meeting a good man and having a great relationship, you have to open up time in your schedule for this. It’s easy to get bogged down in your job and forget your personal needs, which is why you have to try even harder to carve out time to relax, pamper yourself, and meet men.

It’s also easy to end up on the extreme end of the spectrum where you’re spending entirely too much time trying to get a man and have a relationship. The truth is, you really have to learn how to balance your availability and it’s not necessarily going to be easy at first.

Online dating is definitely ideal for a busy person because it exposes you to a large amount of potential dates in your area without having to leave your house. But, the ease of finding men to talk to can also be addictive. So, how much time do you need to make for online dating?

If you currently aren’t having any ongoing conversations, you can check your inbox every other day. If you are actively having a conversation with a user, you should check your inbox once or twice a day. BUT, don’t get in the habit of being on your online dating website all day. If the site you’re using shows men when you’re online, you could give men the impression that you’re desperate which will quickly run them off.

Once you’re hitting it off with guys from your dating site and you’ve exchanged numbers, set aside 1 or 2 nights a week you can devote to meeting your date (Check out my post 10 Tips For Safe Online Dating). Now, this doesn’t mean don’t make plans to do anything else for 2 nights a week and this also doesn’t mean sit around waiting for your potential online date to call you and ask you out. I’m saying, create the flexibility in your work and personal life you need to accommodate a date. 

The great thing about balancing your dating life and not being unnecessarily available is that you’ll be able to be more objective about the men you’re talking to and dating. Keep working on that balance, as they say, “practice makes perfect!”

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Get A Free Consultation With Dee The Dating Coach!

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Image courtesy of Marcolm/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If you haven’t worked with a dating coach in the past, you may be wondering whether it’s really worth your time and money. Well, here’s your chance to see first hand, and for FREE, how a one-on-one session can help your dating, relationship, and love life. It’s time to take that step towards finding the right man and keeping him!

I’m offering this free promotion until September 30th to the first 25 people to contact me. Use the contact form below to get the ball rolling on your fabulous new dating life!

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*Image courtesy of Marcolm/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dee’s Dating Diary Makes Top 100 Dating Experts!

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I’m excited to share that Dee’s Dating Diary came in at #40 on The SW Expert’s list of the top 100 dating experts to follow. With dating experts like Patti Stanger, The Millionaire Matchmaker, and Paul C. Brunson on this list, I am truly honored to be recognized by The SW Experts.

Check out the full list of dating experts to follow here: 100 Dating Experts you MUST follow on Twitter

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Testimonial: My Boyfriend Wasn’t Worth My Time

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Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hey Dee,

I just want to thank you for being so helpful to me through this big mess of a situation. I didn’t exactly have anyone to talk to, so thank you so much for being there. I also wanted to make an update of how things are going because I feel it could be helpful information to other girls who have also experienced the unfortunate phenomenon of the disappearing boyfriend, and I have so much advice to them from my experience.

Being in the middle of a disappearing man act is really a confusing time full of feelings of rejection and neglect, but, the thing is, its like this only when you make it. If you look at it like you said, “Is this really a man you want to be in a relationship with?” It is so much easier to realize you actually have no loss. I realize in hindsight that he really wasn’t all that great and really didn’t treat me all that great either (obviously if he could abandon me, period). I see all the red flags I blindly ignored in the beginning of the relationship, and if I had listened it would have saved me a lot of heartache.

I’ve learned that you should never ever let a man jeopardize your happiness, and to never stay in a bad relationship. Losing someone who ultimately wasn’t worth my time has empowered me as a person, and as a woman. I have so much confidence in every aspect of my self, all because I know I’m worth it.

To the women who have experienced the disappearing man, you don’t and shouldn’t want them back because you deserve a man who wants to be consistently present in your life and you are indeed worth it!

As for me, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life because the man who wasn’t worth my time made it easy for me and left. I’m getting out there and meeting all sorts of people and cute guys, and experiencing all sorts of new things I couldn’t do with him. I’ve noticed how much I’ve missed out on in that relationship and wouldn’t for the life of me ever go back to it!

I hope my story can help other women in my situation. My advice to them would be to never let someone else’s treatment of you define your worth. And also to remember you have a choice in who you date, so drop them the second they mistreat you.

Thanks so much for your help Dee! Your advice has made me realize all this, and will help me out so much in my future relationships! Like you said “it’s not easy to see the rainbow when you’re in the storm,” I’m definitely seeing the rainbow now.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Related Post: 

Is Your Boyfriend Worth Your Time?

Why Men Disappear Then Reappear – The Right to REAL Love Radio

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I guest starred on The Right to REAL Love Radio Show again and I’m so excited to share this episode with you! On this show, Jay Mayo and I discussed men who disappear from women’s lives and then reappear. From why men disappear and reappear to how woman should handle these situations, we cover it all!

This is definitely a topic you don’t want to miss! Listen to our discussion below and check out Jay Mayo’s page where he has some great extras for our listeners: The Right to REAL Love Radio Show: Why Men Disappear Then Reappear.

Enjoy,

Dee

P.S. Check out my first show on The Right to REAL Love Radio Show where host Jay Mayo and I dive into the topic Are You Treating Your Boyfriend Like Your Husband?

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Is Your Boyfriend Worth Your Time?

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Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

“I just read your article on men who pull the disappearing act. I am very familar with this, being my current boyfriend has done this more then I can count (12+). I know, I shouldn’t allow this, but It’s hard to explain. I want to be with him, we agree with some major issues, and he has qualities that are rare in a man. I also know it’s something he’s battling with.

On the other hand, it is extremely disrespectful to me to abandon me every time things get a little heavy. I need a man who will be by my side in hard times. Every time he does this, he comes back treating me better than ever, and I guess that’s why I’ve dealt with it for so long.

We have almost been dating for about 2 years now, and we are 3 year apart in age, I am older. We are also in our early 20’s. I just don’t know what to do. I know I deserve better, but I just can’t let him go. The cycle is everything is normal/or great, then he slowly starts taking me for granted, then things get heavy or he upsets me, then  he completely shuts down and I don’t hear from him for days/weeks, then repeat.

The longest he has gone without speaking to me was 2 weeks. I can’t imagine loving someone, then at the same time purposely ignoring them for an extended period. Doesn’t he genuinely  miss me in this time? Or Is he just using this time selfishly to do whatever he wants, and only comes back to me when he feels like it? I just don’t think I can deal with it anymore.

I know I deserve a man to actually WANT to be with me, and be with me through thick and thin. I mean, what happens if he does this and we are married or have children together? I’m sorry for the long message, it’s just nice to get someone else’s perspective and to just talk it out in general. Today marks a week since he ‘ran away from home’ (we live together)…”

Dear Dater,

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been going through all this and I’m happy to lend you my ear and opinion. Although, it sounds like you already know what you need to do here.

You’ve been dealing with your boyfriend’s disappearing acts for 2 years now and it’s very apparent that this is a regular pattern in his behavior. It seems that your boyfriend’s disappearances may be a result of him trying to avoid issues or problems in the relationship, but this is absolutely not conducive to having a healthy and loving relationship.

While your boyfriend does come back into the picture and treats you better than ever, it’s only momentarily. One of the most important characteristics to look for in a man you date is consistency! I say this all the time, but consistency is truly key!

When a man is inconsistent it shows you that he is not who he portrays himself to really be and you can’t depend on him. Men can only fake it for so long so their inconsistencies or disappearing acts are your red flags that this person may not be the man you actually want. Sometimes, we get so caught up in trying to get or keep a boyfriend that we often don’t ask ourselves, “is this the type of man I want to be in a relationship with or spend the rest of my life with?”

At the end of the day, your relationship is best when your boyfriend returns from his disappearances, but your good feelings are always fleeting, it never lasts. You are only in your twenties and still have your whole life ahead of you. I know it’s not easy to see the rainbow when you’re in the storm, but there are men out there that will cherish you and wouldn’t dare risk the chance of losing you by pulling a disappearing act.

In fact, a man that truly loves you will never want to leave your life, whether it’s for a few days or a few weeks. A part of having a great, loving, and healthy relationship is knowing your worth and knowing what you do and don’t deserve. The second you realize that you are worth a man staying in your life is the second that you will stop tolerating bad behavior from men, i.e. the disappearing act.

So, I want you to ask yourself, is your boyfriend really the type of man you want to be in a relationship with? If not, then it’s time to move on honey! But, when you ask yourself this question, I need you to realistically look at your entire relationship. Don’t just reflect on the good times with your boyfriend, definitely consider the good and the bad. How does he make you feel? And, I don’t mean how he makes you feel when he is laying it on thick after treating you badly and ignoring your calls and texts for days.

When you make this decision, remember how you feel every time he leaves you and you’re not even sure where he is staying. Do you feel loved then?

You’ve definitely given this relationship your all, but has your boyfriend? How much time are you willing to spend in this relationship waiting for your boyfriend to be a better man? I know it’s never easy deciding whether to break up with a boyfriend, but focus on the right things and you’ll make the right decision for you.

I wish you all the best and never forget that you’re worth a man staying in your life!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Related Posts You’ll Like:

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?

Wondering Why Men Come Back In Your Life?

Are You Downplaying His Negatives?

To Break Up Or Not To Break Up?

Ask Dee’s Dating Diary A Dating Question!

Dee Simone Guest Stars on The Right To Real Love Radio Show!

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Today, I’m guest starring on The Right to REAL Love Radio show hosted by Jay Mayo! On this episode, we discuss the topic of treating your boyfriend like a husband. The topic was inspired by my article “Stop Treating Your Boyfriend Like Your Husband!” But, on the show, we take a much deeper dive into the topic and Jay Mayo really creates a multifaceted conversation through his unique male perspective.

Not only do we address the problems and difficulties associated with treating your boyfriend like a husband, but we also address important implications of this behavior that every woman should know! I had a great time recording with Jay Mayo and you’re not going to want to miss this conversation! You can listen right here:

You can also listen to the show directly on The Right to REAL Love website where you’ll also find some great notes from the show: The Right to REAL Love Radio: Are You Treating Your Boyfriend Like a Husband?

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Meet Dee The Dating Coach!

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Dee Simone is your dating and life coach extraordinaire! She’s a Licensed Attorney and Certified Mediator with a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology. Dee is the creator and author of Dee’s Dating Diary. She loves working with people and helping them resolve any issues that are holding them back in dating or life in general.

Dee helps her clients recognize and work through difficult problems, enabling them to live happier lives and have more meaningful, loving, and healthy relationships. With keen insight into the behavioral aspects of dating, Dee gives her clients valuable advice and suggestions for positive change and positive results!

How Can I Help You?

Dating Coach & Life Coach

Are you struggling or having difficulty in your dating or everyday life? Schedule a one-on-one session to start your journey to a better you! In my sessions, we’ll figure out what things have been preventing you from living a fulfilling life or having a great relationship.

I will help you develop an understanding of how your thoughts, beliefs, actions, or inaction plays a role in your quality of life!

Need emergency dating advice? No problem! Use the contact form below to contact me for any of my services and be sure to include your Name, Age, Email Address, Phone Number (Optional), and how I can be of help to you!

Relationship Counseling

Are you having problems in your current relationship? Do you need the help of a relationship expert to get your relationship to a happier and healthier place?

My dating and relationship expertise provides clients with well-rounded, beneficial relationship counseling that actually produces results.

Online Dating

Is your online dating profile not getting the attention you want? I’ll help you makeover your profile and give you great tips for navigating the online dating world and having fun while you’re doing it!

Break Up Support

Breakups are tough! But, worse than a break up is not learning from the relationship and harboring emotional baggage. If your relationship ended suddenly and you have no idea why or you didn’t get the closure you need, my break up support services can help you determine where your relationship went wrong and get you the closure you need to move on.

I will help you heal, learn, and get rid of any emotional baggage you developed from a relationship. With my break up support services, you’ll get to a better you in no time!

Speaking Engagements

For speaking engagements, panels, group seminars, workshops, hosting, and more, submit a request using the contact form below or send an email to Dee@DeesDatingDiary.com.

Confidentiality

I am highly sensitive to the privacy needs of professionals, high-level executives, and individuals in the entertainment industry. Rest assured that strict confidentiality is always maintained and the names and identities of clients will never be disclosed without permission.

For great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Contact Me!

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Do You Know Your Dating Flaws?

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Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As much as you may not want to hear this, everyone has dating flaws. The difference is in the people that recognize their flaws and actively work towards positive change. It’s true, no one is perfect and we can’t change everything about ourselves. But, for the things that we can change, we should work on them.

Everyone wants a good man or a good woman, but many people don’t think about the fact that a good man deserves a good woman (and vice versa). So, if you’re not getting the results that you want in your dating life, it’s time for some deep introspection!

You need to figure out where your dating or relationships are going wrong so that you can make an effort to improve your behavior in those areas.

Everyone wants dating tips and trick for landing a great person, but very few people are interested in bettering themselves to increase their chances of finding the one. You can have all the dating tips and tricks in the world, but if you’re not right inside, your relationship won’t be either.

Take the time to figure out what it is that has been holding you back in your dating life and work towards positive improvement. Then you can worry about tips and tricks for finding and keeping Mr. Right!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Facebook Stalk An Ex

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Image courtesy of Pixomar at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Pixomar at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Technology has made it far too easy to keep track of people’s lives. From Facebook to Twitter to Instagram and Snapchat, it’s so easy to keep tabs on an ex.

While we all have that moment at some point after a break up where we think, “I wonder what my ex is doing” or how he is doing or whether he is dating someone new, only some women have the will power to keep themselves from digging for info.

3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Facebook Stalk Your Ex 

There are several reasons why you shouldn’t Facebook stalk or social media stalk an ex, but here are 3:

1. You Can’t Move On.

It keeps you from really getting over the relationship and moving on. You can never truly move on when you’re still wrapped up in your ex’s life. How can you learn from your relationship and emotionally heal if you’re maintaining an unhealthy attachment to your ex.

2. You Won’t Like What You See.

What you find on social media is usually upsetting even if it’s absolutely nothing. For example, your ex may not be dating anyone new or working some great new job, but he looks real damn happy in his pictures and that’s enough to piss you off! You’re never going to like what you see.

3. You Need To Focus On You.

You need to be living your life and stop giving anymore time and attention to someone who is not right for you. In stalking your ex on social media, you’re just going to make yourself feel bad and, possibly, miss being with someone you weren’t meant to be with at all.

As much as you want to know what’s going on in your ex’s life, you have to let it go. Focus on bettering yourself.

You are a woman! You’re capable of bringing new life into this world. You have strength beyond your knowledge and you are certainly capable of keeping yourself off your ex’s social media.

Your ex didn’t think you were worth staying in a relationship with so why is he worth Facebook stalking? Don’t waste anymore energy on your exes, it’ll only keep you from allowing the right man into your life!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Related Articles You’ll Like

Why You Shouldn’t Change Your Facebook Relationship Status 

To Break Up Or Not To Break Up?

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Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 4 years, and we have been to hell and back.. Unfortunately I cheated on him almost 2 years ago when I felt like he didn’t care about the relationship anymore and when he found out he all of a sudden cared more than anything in the world. I bring up the topic of marriage and he says that he isn’t over what I did just yet so I shouldn’t be expecting a ring anytime soon and that he’s in no rush to get married.. Should I stay or should I go? P.S he is 34 and I’m 26..

Dear Dater,

Wow, sounds like you have quite the dilemma on your hands. Here’s what I think:

If after 2 years your boyfriend still isn’t over you cheating on him, the likelihood of him ever getting past it is slim to none.

Unfortunately, cheating can really damage the health and well-being of a relationship. In your case, the damage wasn’t so far beyond repair that you couldn’t continue the relationship, but it seems to have damaged the possibility of marriage.

Is This The Relationship You Really Want?

While you are concerned about where your boyfriend sees this relationship going, you can’t forget to ask yourself whether this relationship is really right for you.

Yes, you maintained the relationship after cheating and you said that you only cheated because you felt like your boyfriend didn’t care about the relationship, but you should definitely reevaluate whether you truly want to spend the rest of your life with this man AND whether you can do that faithfully. Ultimately, your boyfriend told you not to expect a ring anytime soon and you need to take that to heart.

So, should you stay or should you go?

In my opinion, you definitely need to go. You are 26 years old and have many things ahead of you. You can’t spend the next 4 years of your life waiting to see if your boyfriend is going to get over your cheating and marry you.

If you wait around in this relationship for too long hoping for a proposal, you may come to regret that decision one day. Check out the blog post I wrote about this: How Long Is Too Long To Wait For A Wedding Ring?
Yours Truly,Dee