Category Archives: Dating

Dating Challenge: Don’t Call Him The Day of The Date

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You have a date scheduled with a guy this Saturday. When Saturday rolls around, you’re tempted to call or text your date to confirm or make sure he still wants to go out, but you shouldn’t. Instead, wait. Don’t call your date, text, email, Instagram, Snapchat him or anything else.

The reason why you want to do this is so that you can see whether your date would have followed through on his plans with you. Say you don’t contact your date and he doesn’t contact you at all on Saturday, then you know he wasn’t really interested in you to begin with. Some guys will make plans that they don’t necessarily intend to keep. So you don’t want to nudge a guy into a date by reminding him yourself that your supposed to go out.

If a man really wants to see you he isn’t going to forget about the plans you made or flake on them by not contacting you on the day of the date. So I challenge you to not call or text a man first on the day of your date. This way, you won’t ever have to wonder if the date wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t take the time to contact him.

Do yourself a favor and give yourself a chance to see where a man’s head is really at!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time, 

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Blackzheep at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Red Flag: He’s Too Busy To Call

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The “I was busy” excuse is pretty popular with some men and most women have heard this excuse before. The guy you’re dating tells you that he is going to call you tomorrow or that he is going to take you out over the weekend, but he never does. When he finally gets back to you, he tells you how crazy his week or month has been and that he had absolutely no time whatsoever to call or even text you. 

Now, how many of you are guilty of accepting the “I was busy” excuse? While you will feel inclined to forgive a man’s lack of communication or breaking of commitments due to his extremely “busy” schedule, you ultimately devalue yourself and your worth by accepting this excuse.

You’re Worthy of Communication 

The problem with believing the busy excuse is that you may internalize this as you not being worthy of a man’s attention when he has other things going on. You may even start to think that it’s okay to just be an afterthought to a man. But, if a man tells you he is going to call you tomorrow, it doesn’t matter how busy his day was, he should have made some kind of effort to communicate with you, even if just through texts. 

You have to realize that people make time for what they really want. So, if a man really wants to talk to you or really wants to see you, he is going to make time to do that. No matter how busy a person is, it doesn’t take much effort to make a quick phone call or shoot someone a text. Being busy does not negate a man’s responsibility to honor his word!

You deserve a man who will keep his commitments and promises to you and you can’t let a man convince you that you aren’t important enough for a phone call or text. You deserve a man who calls you when he says he is going to call you and who actually keeps the dates you schedule.

Dates Cancelled By Silence

Most importantly, you have to be weary of any man who tells you that he is so busy he didn’t even have time to cancel your date plans. This really means that you’re barely an afterthought to this guy and he doesn’t respect you enough to not waste your time. This is not the kind of man you should continue to date under any circumstances.

It’s one thing if work or an emergency prevents you from keeping a scheduled date, but there’s absolutely no excuse for not taking the time to call or text a woman to cancel a date. The next time a man tells you he was too busy to call you or too busy to cancel your plans, just accept the fact that he’s just not that into you.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credits: Images courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Would you go Dutch on a First Date?

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Different women have different sentiments about going dutch on a first date. While some women don’t believe that they should have to split the bill, others have no problem doing it. So, I thought I’d create a survey to see how many of my readers are willing to go half on a first date. Submit your answer to the survey and you’ll be able to see what percentage of women answered yes or no. Also, feel free to leave a comment below with your thoughts!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Should You Have A First Date On Valentine’s Day?

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Valentine’s Day is the most romantic day of the year and while this is great for couples, it’s not so great if you just met your date. If you go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day, you can expect restaurants to have a more intimate feel, you’ll be surrounded by couples showing a lot of affection, and you may be bombarded by people selling flowers, chocolate, and teddy bears.

The romantic pressure that comes with Valentine’s Day and seeing many other couples smooching, exchanging gifts, and holding hands could make the date feel very uncomfortable or awkward. Or, the romantic ambience might even make you want to act more lovey-dovey with your date than you should. 

On top of this, your server will most likely assume that you and your date are in a serious relationship and ask you questions or make comments that could make you both feel uncomfortable like, “How long have you been together?” “You guys look like such a happy couple!” “I love how you two are keeping your relationship spicy by celebrating Valentine’s.” “It must have been impossible for you guys to get a sitter tonight.”

When you are on your first few dates, you shouldn’t have to explain to anyone that you are not in a relationship or that you just started dating. But, this is often what happens when you have a date on Valentine’s and it’s the early stage of dating. Even if you have been on a couple of dates, going out on Valentine’s could add a little too much intensity to your budding romance.

First dates can be nerve-wrecking enough without the added pressure of being on Valentine’s Day. They should be fun and easy breezy, not jam-packed with tension from the extreme romance surrounding the date. So, you should definitely avoid having your first few dates on this one day of the year, but if for some reason you really can’t get around scheduling a Valentine’s Day date, try to do a fun activity that won’t incorporate the romance of Valentine’s Day.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of OZphotography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Online Dating Isn’t Easy For Men

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While some people may think that men have it easy when it comes to online dating, they don’t have it as easy as you think. Yes, there are numerous vulnerable women looking for long-term relationships online, but there are also women out there that don’t have the best intentions.

When I spoke to a few men that had been online dating for several months, they all had similar complaints about the types of women they were meeting online. All of the men encountered women that were only looking for “friends” and each of them had stories about the explicit messages they received.

Some of the guys also said that there were women online that weren’t even single. These women either wanted companionship when their boyfriends weren’t around or they simply wanted an online “chat buddy.” Worst of all, three men said they encountered prostitutes. Specifically, one woman’s message read, “Hey handsome, p2p?” When I asked what “p2p” meant, I was told it meant “pay to play.” 

So, if you think men have it easy with online dating, think again. Online dating isn’t easy for anyone, there’s going to be a lot of garbage to sift through on these dating sites. But, you shouldn’t let it discourage you from continuing to see if you might meet your Mr. or Mrs. Right online.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Naypong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3 Ways Your Smartphone Is Hurting The Quality of Your Relationships

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Smartphones and tablets have made it easier than ever to stay connected with the world at all times. But, at what cost? We get so used to checking our emails, texts, social media, and websites that we often don’t recognize the negative impact is has on our relationships.

Self-awareness of our behavior and how it impacts our relationships is an important step in the process of improving the quality of our relationships. So, here are 3 ways your smartphone is hurting the quality of your relationships:

1. You’re Not Engaged

When you’re constantly doing things on your phone, you aren’t staying in the moment. While you may feel present in a conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you’re responding to texts, the reality is, you’re not.

You can’t truly be engaged with someone when part of your attention is focused on your phone. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get carried away on your phone and not really enjoy the time you are spending with your partner. What could be an intimate or engaging evening turns out to be stale, boring, and mostly silent.

2. Your Sweetheart Feels Ignored

The attention your smartphone gets deprives your loved ones of the attention and affection they deserve. If you think being preoccupied with your phone goes unnoticed, even if it’s just while watching a movie, you’re sadly mistaken. Your boyfriend or girlfriend can definitely tell when you’re not in the moment. You’re physically there, but you’re not mentally there.

The person you’re dating shouldn’t feel like he or she has to compete with your smartphone for attention. You also don’t want your sweetie to feel like you aren’t interested in what he or she is saying because you’re half-heartedly engaged in conversations, only making one or two comments here and there.

No one likes feeling ignored or unimportant, but this is what happens when you focus on your phone more than what a person is saying.

3. It Decreases The Intimacy

Being more in tune with your phone than your sweetheart can take a toll on your relationship. You should be maximizing the time you spend with your honey and you do this by giving your undivided attention. Staying in the moment will allow you to increase the intimacy and connection between you two.

Don’t let texts, emails, social media, or candy crush get in the way of what you’re building. Unless there’s an emergency or an important business deal on the table, everything else can wait.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is A Facebook Friendship An Indicator of A Budding Relationship?

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For some women, a Facebook friendship with the guys they’re dating is validation of a potential budding relationship. Although a Facebook friendship doesn’t mean you’re officially in an exclusive relationship, sometimes a lot of emphasis is put on a mans acceptance of a friend request. But, is a Facebook friendship really an indicator of a man’s interest in you or a budding relationship? Well, it depends, but not really.

The Facebook Friendship

Just because your friendship request is accepted doesn’t mean a guy really likes you or is open to a relationship with you. Some men have no problem being Facebook friends with women they have no intentions of dating seriously or even seeing again. So, just because the man you’re dating accepts your Facebook friend request doesn’t mean there is a budding relationship on the horizon.

However, if you have been dating a guy for a few weeks and he won’t accept your friend request this is a huge red flag! In this case, it’s guaranteed that you have no future with this man. If your friend request is rejected then it means there’s no real interest there and the guy is not that into you. Or, he may just want to continue dating other women.

The truth is, if a man genuinely likes you and is interested in the potential of an exclusive relationship with you, he will gladly accept your friend request. It’s as simple as that! A man who isn’t taking you seriously or doesn’t see any kind of future with you, most likely won’t want to have a social media friendship with you either.

Is It Too Soon For A Facebook Friendship?

While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be Facebook friends with your new love interest, if you try to be Facebook friends too soon, you may send the wrong message. A man might think you’re a stalker, needy, or desperate if you’re Facebook friending him before you’ve even gone out on the first date or right after the first date. Wait until you have been dating for several weeks before sending a friend request to the guy you’re dating.

You should really take your time and get to know a man before you invite him into your social media life. This will also allow you to reduce the amount of senseless Facebook friendships you have with men you’ve only dated a couple of times.

All in all, you need to be cautious about placing too much emphasis on a Facebook friendship while also being able to acknowledge the implications of a rejected friend request. If he won’t be your Facebook friend, don’t fret just move on!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is Your Selfie Obsession Limiting The Intimacy in Your Relationship?

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If you’re constantly taking selfies of you and your boyfriend when you’re doing things together, you can easily take away the deeper level of intimacy that you could be sharing in that moment. Instead of gazing into each other’s eyes and enjoying the moment to cultivate and maintain that spark, passion, and closeness during a beautiful meal, for example, you’re taking pictures of your food and posting it on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

You want to maintain that great connection, passion, and intimacy in your relationship and you promote these things when you take advantage of every beautiful opportunity to simply enjoy each other. When you’re snapping all those pictures and posting them on social media, what is your man doing during this time? He has to just sit or stand there and wait for you to engage with him again. It’s not fair to him and it’s really not fair to yourself.

Why should you deprive your honey and the relationship of the full attention that it deserves? All to portray some image or lifestyle to your Facebook friends?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with capturing life’s beautiful moments, but it needs to be within reason. You don’t need to capture every last second of what you are doing with your boyfriend. And, you definitely don’t need to over do it by taking a bunch of pictures just to get that perfect shot to rub in everyone’s face on Facebook. 

Start taking advantage of the beautiful moments you get with your boyfriend instead of killing them with selfies!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s A New Year And A New You!

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It’s a brand new year and with that comes brand new opportunities. Opportunities for you to meet new people, change, grow, and date smarter! This year you should commit yourself to trying new things, going out more, enjoying your life, and having more fun! Try out some singles mixers, find a new hobby or re-dedicate yourself to an old hobby you liked.

But before you start enacting all these new year resolutions, the most important thing you need to do is reflect back on last year. This way, you can learn from your pitfalls and experiences and truly embrace becoming a better you. How were your relationships last year? What was your dating life like? Think about the ways you can improve yourself and your interactions with friends, family, and the new men that you meet.

There is a lot in store for you this year, but you hold the key to unlocking it! So, what kinds of changes do you want to make this year? Let me know by leaving a comment below!

For life-changing dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If You Just Started Dating, Is It Too Soon To Exchange Holiday Gifts?

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If you are a new couple or you have only been dating for a short amount of time, you may be wondering what to get your honey for the holidays. Or, you may be wondering if it is too soon to exchange gifts at all.

If you have been dating for about one month, go with something small, maybe a cute holiday teddy bear. Just keep it simple, it’s the thought that counts. But, if you have only been dating for three weeks or less, don’t worry about exchanging gifts.

After a few months of dating, you will definitely need to get your honey a holiday gift! It shouldn’t  be a tiny teddy bear, but it also shouldn’t be extravagant. Don’t over do it, but don’t make it look like your gift was an afterthought.

With it being the holiday season, now is the perfect time to perk your ears up for things your honey says he/she wants. If those things are too expensive to gift this early into the relationship, think of a hobby your partner enjoys and get them a gift that supports it.

If you are buying a gift for a woman, think romance, not practical! If you are buying a gift for a man, give yourself a small, but reasonable budget and stick with it!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,  

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of digidreamgrafix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Does The Man You’re Dating Only See You As An Option?

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“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” ~ Maya Angelou

This is one of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes. It’s profound and offers timeless wisdom! While this quote does apply to life generally and our friendships, it definitely applies to dating as well. You should never prioritize a man who doesn’t feel strongly enough about you to do the same.

The kind of man you really want to date is eager to see you. He would rather go out with you than “the boys.” You never want to be an afterthought in a man’s mind. Of course, spontaneity is welcome after you’ve been on some dates, but if you just met a man and he only contacts you a few hours or an hour before he wants to see you, then you are definitely just an option!

How many of you have been guilty of canceling plans with your girlfriends because a guy asked you out at the last-minute? And, how did that work out for you? Are you still dating that guy?

The truth is, you should never cancels plans with your friends to prioritize any man. If you don’t think he will ask you out again if you turn down his last-minute date, then this isn’t a man you should waste any time trying to date. 

When a man takes the time to ask you out in advance, it shows you that he is actually thinking about you and you definitely want to be on a man’s mind! For more great reasons why you shouldn’t accept last-minute dates from men, check out my article No More Last Minute Dates!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Fighting With Your Boyfriend About Where To Spend The Holidays?

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The holiday season is such a joyous time. From the beautiful holiday decorations to the quality time you get to spend with your loved ones, the holidays is a time for love not war. But, when you disagree with your boyfriend about where to spend the holidays, it could cause more stress than happiness. 

So, if you want to avoid fighting  about where to spend the holidays, check out my article Where To Spend The Holidays When You’re In A Relationship.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Gualberto107 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

9 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date Extremely Jealous Men

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Jealousy has nothing to do with how strongly a man feels about you, but women often mistake a man’s jealousy for love or a high level of interest. There are different levels of jealousy, but if you date a man who is extremely jealous, you’re setting yourself up for an unhealthy relationship because real happiness and love just isn’t possible. So, here are 9 reasons why you should avoid dating extremely jealous men:

1. You’re Always On Trial

When your boyfriend is extremely jealous, you have to deal with regular accusations of cheating. You’re always standing trial and being persecuted for innocent behavior. Maybe a male coworker gave you a ride home from work or maybe you went out with girlfriends and came home an hour later than you said you would. No matter what the innocent behavior is, having your life under your boyfriend’s microscope isn’t easy!

2. You Always Have To Prove Yourself

When you’re always on trial, what do you have to do? Prove your innocence! And you better make a good case! When an extremely jealous boyfriend accuses you of cheating, you have to prove your fidelity and love. You have to convince him that you would never disrespect your relationship. But, truthfully, there’s no amount of convincing that you can do to make a jealous man trust you.

Good relationships take enough work to maintain and having to constantly prove that you’re not cheating and you do love your boyfriend is stressful and draining, to say the least.

3. The Relationship May Take a Turn For The Worst

Extreme jealousy could be a sign that your relationship may turn into an abusive one. Abusive men are usually extremely jealous and frequently perceive innocent behavior as evidence of or acts of infidelity. And, these misperceptions are often used as excuses for abuse.

4. Snooping Is Probably On The Horizon

Extreme jealousy can cause other unhealthy behaviors like snooping and even stalking. And, it’s actually very painful and hurtful to know that your boyfriend distrusts you enough to snoop or follow you to places.

 5. He May Never Trust You 

If your boyfriend is extremely jealous, there’s really no trust in your relationship. One of the fundamental elements of a great, loving relationship is trust. If your boyfriend can’t trust you from the moment you start dating, what would ever truly get him to trust you? Besides working on his emotional issues, there’s absolutely nothing you can do or not do that will build your boyfriend’s trust in you.

6. His Jealously May Erode Your Trust

Your boyfriend may never trust you and his jealousy may erode your own trust in him. It’s hard to trust someone who doesn’t trust you. If you can maintain your trust in the relationship, his lack of trust will surely make you sad.

7. His Distrust May Be A Result Of His Own Actions

Extreme jealousy may be a symptom of your boyfriend’s infidelity in the relationship. Guilty minds blame others. If your boyfriend has not been faithful in the relationship, his guilt may lead him to accusing you of cheating as well.

8. Extreme Jealousy Is A Sign Of A Much Bigger Problem

Extreme jealousy comes from a place of insecurity, not love! Insecurity is deep-rooted and goes far beyond a current relationship. A man whose insecurity leads to jealousy may feel like he’s not handsome enough, muscular enough, or intelligent enough. These aren’t things that you can fix for your boyfriend. Self-confidence starts and ends with yourself. So, unless your boyfriend makes an effort to resolve his insecurity issues on his own, they’ll continue to plague your relationship.

It’s difficult to date someone who is very insecure because they need constant reassurance. You will be expected to make them feel secure. But, if you’re not doing anything wrong, how can you make your boyfriend feel secure in the relationship? Just know that you won’t be able to solve your boyfriend’s insecurity for him.

9. He May Become Controlling

Extreme jealousy due to insecurity could also manifest itself as a controlling nature. An extremely insecure and jealous boyfriend will want to know what you’re doing and who you’re with at all times. He also may try to control or limit your interactions with friends and family altogether.

Obviously, if you’re actually cheating on your boyfriend, then jealousy and insecurity is reasonable and expected. But, if you’re not cheating on your boyfriend and he regularly exhibits jealous behavior, you need to have a conversation about where the jealousy is coming from and how he can resolve those issues so the two of you can have a happy relationship. If he still continues with his jealous antics, it’s time to run for the hills!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Do You Only Get One Soulmate?

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At some point in your life, you’ve probably heard a woman say that she’s met “the one” or her boyfriend is her soulmate, but do you only get one soulmate in your lifetime?

With roughly 7 billion people in the world, the idea of only having one soulmate is truly outdated, especially when you consider the fact that the internet and technology has brought the world so much closer together. Today, there’s more opportunities than ever to meet new people. 

After going on countless unsuccessful dates, you may start wondering whether you overlooked or wrote off your soulmate in the past. And, being single for an extended period of time can make you question whether you made the wrong choice in ending certain relationships. Then, you might think you should double back to one of your exes because maybe, just maybe, he was actually “the one.”

But, if your long-term single status is the reason why you start to consider re-dating ex-boyfriends, your energy would be better spent meeting new people. 

When the “pickings are slim,” you can’t start convincing yourself that you already dated your soulmate and there’s no one else out there for you. You may not have a ton of great, compatible men lined up for dates, but you don’t need several great matches banging your door down. You just need one. After all, you can only marry one person.

If you’re interested in finding out how to leave a relationship so that you can live a regret-free dating life, check out my post No More Boomeranging. 

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Having A Boyfriend or Husband Won’t Bring You Happiness

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The pursuit of happiness… It’s something that everyone wants, but not everyone gets. But, what exactly is happiness? Is happiness for you the same as happiness for me? The truth is, happiness is subjective and only you can define it for yourself.

If you ask women what will make them happy, many will tell you “a boyfriend” “a husband” or “kids.” But, the reality is, having a boyfriend, a husband, or children will not make you happy.

You have to find a way to be happy with yourself first and foremost. If you can’t be happy as a single woman, there’s no way another human being can change that! A person cannot create happiness for you and having a person to call your boyfriend won’t accomplish this either. You have to look to yourself.

There is an upside here though. Happiness attracts more happiness. Have you heard the saying, “positivity attracts positivity?” When you’re positive, you will bring more positivity and positive people into your life. However, when you’re negative, you’ll attract more negativity and even negative people into your life. Well, it’s the same concept with happiness.

Remember, people can sense happiness, but they can also sense sadness, insecurity, and low self-confidence. If you’re unhappy in your life, you’re going to attract other unhappy people. And, when you’re truly happy, you’ll find that other positive things will follow from that.

I can say pretty confidently that the type of man you probably want to date wouldn’t want to date an unhappy woman. So, in finding your true happiness, you’ll really be in the best position to attract the type of man you actually want. Do the digging, do the soul-searching, do whatever needs to be done to find your happiness.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5 Things You Should Do When You Start A New Relationship

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While a new relationship can be very exciting, there is some housekeeping that you need to make sure is taken care of. So, remember these 5 things you should do after you start a new relationship:

 1. Delete Online Dating Profiles

When you start a new relationship, you stop going on your online dating websites, but do you delete your online dating profile and account? What if your new boyfriend or someone who knows you and your boyfriend sees your profile and wrongly assumes that you are still active on the dating site?

You can definitely give the wrong impression by keeping an online dating profile while you’re in a relationship. It’s not enough to just stop going on a dating site, show your relationship the respect it deserves and delete your online dating profiles!

2. Delete Unnecessary Phone Numbers

Once you’ve started your blissful new relationship, it’s important that you delete your ex’s phone number and your hook up buddy’s phone number. You’re in a new relationship now so you don’t need these numbers anymore, let them go!

3. Delete Unnecessary Social Media “Friends”

Just like you need to get rid of the phone numbers you should no longer have, you also need to unfriend, unfollow, and disconnect with your exes and hook up buddies on all your social media. This includes every ex and any other guy you know you shouldn’t be talking to!

If you respect your relationship and genuinely want to have a future with the man you’re dating, then separate yourself from your exes and hook up buddies on Facebook and all your other social media.

4. Tell Your Friends & Family

Share the great news of your new relationship with your family and friends. The people closest to you shouldn’t have to learn about your new relationship months down the line or find out through Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

You especially need to tell your friends you’re in a new relationship if they’re known for trying to set you up on dates. You don’t want your friends disrespecting your new boyfriend by trying to set you up with someone else.

So, don’t just run off into the night with your new relationship, show your family and friends that you still care by keeping them in the loop!

5. Say Goodbye

Once you start a new relationship, it’s time to say goodbye to your bad single girl habits. For example, it’s no longer okay for you to spend every weekend at “the club.” Of course, you can still go out to a club every once in a while with your friends, but you can’t make a habit of this.

Don’t let the excitement of your new relationship keep you from “cleaning house.” It would be a shame if one of these 5 things created an unnecessary problem with your new boyfriend. 

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Ask A Date Questions About His Character

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When you first start dating a man, you want to get to know as much about your date as possible. Instead of letting a man show you who he is, you try to get him to tell you. You might ask him questions about his character or how he treated his last girlfriend to get a better idea of what a relationship with him would look like.

But, doing this is actually more problematic than you probably think. So, here are 3 reasons why you shouldn’t ask the men you’re dating questions about their character:

1. Men Can Lie

In a perfect world, all men would tell the truth when they are asked questions about themselves, but we don’t live in a perfect world. So, it’s really important not to focus heavily on questioning your date about his personality, morals, character, and so forth.

When you pay attention to your date’s behavior and keep your eyes open for red flags, these questions will be answered for you. Which brings me to my next point…

2. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

We’ve all heard this saying, it’s nothing new, but actions really do speak louder than words! If you ask your dates about themselves, they could easily just tell you what you want to hear. Don’t get caught up putting a man through investigative questioning because his behavior will tell you everything in the end. 

Remember, a man can show you who he is much better than he could ever tell you!

3. You May Blindly Rely On His Answers 

When you focus your energy on questioning a man about his character, it’s really easy to have a false sense of confidence in his answers. Naturally, we want to believe what the man we’re dating says. So, instead of paying attention to his actions, we rely on his word and turn a blind eye to all the red flags that show us he’s someone else.

The truth is, when we wrongly rely on what a man tells us about himself, we only hurt ourselves in the long run through our blind trust and belief. 

The next time you’re dating a man, let him show you who he is instead of tell you who he is. Start identifying and learning about the different red flags you should be paying attention to. This way, you won’t feel the need to question your dates since you’ll be able to rely on your knowledge and understanding of men’s behavior!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Learn More About Red Flags:

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

No More Last Minute Dates!

You shouldn’t have to tell him to call you

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?

8 Signs You’re Dating A Needy Guy

Red Flag: He “Fell Asleep”

*Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

10 Signs A Guy Is Really Into You

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Dee Simone Cartoon

It’s not always easy to tell if the guy you’re dating is really interested in you. And often times, we tend to focus on the wrong things in determining a man’s level of interest. For example, you might focus on the fact that a man says he’s interested in you even though his actions scream he’s not interested at all.

So, get some clarity on what interest really looks like and check out my article 10 Signs A Guy Is Really Into You. I am honored to have written this article for Claudia Cox of Text Weapon and I’m sure you’ll enjoy this read!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Dee’s Dating Diary Makes Top 100 Dating Experts!

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I’m excited to share that Dee’s Dating Diary came in at #40 on The SW Expert’s list of the top 100 dating experts to follow. With dating experts like Patti Stanger, The Millionaire Matchmaker, and Paul C. Brunson on this list, I am truly honored to be recognized by The SW Experts.

Check out the full list of dating experts to follow here: 100 Dating Experts you MUST follow on Twitter

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

5 Tips For Better Dating Body Language

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Good body language is crucial in dating! And, you definitely need to know if you’re sending the wrong messages on dates with your body language. I wrote this article for Digital Romance and you can check it out here: 5 Tips For Better Dating Body Language.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

8 Tips For Keeping Your Office Romance Professional

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8 Tips For Keeping Your Office Romance Professional

Office romances can definitely get messy, but if you follow my 8 tips for keeping your office romance professional, you can have your cake and eat it too! This is the ultimate office romance survival guide! I wrote this article for the SW Experts and you can check it out here: 8 Tips For Keeping Your Office Romance Professional.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

8 Signs You’re Dating A Needy Guy

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 Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

For some women, the ideal man would want to spend as much time as possible with the woman he is dating. But, there’s a fine line between wanting to spend a lot of time together and just being flat out needy.

There are definitely red flags that show you a man is needy or clingy, but it’s up to you to take these red flags seriously. So, the next time you meet someone new, remember these 8 Signs That You’re Dating A Needy Guy:

1. He Calls You Several Times A Day

We all know that most men try to play it cool when they first meet a woman. They don’t get a number and immediately call it an hour later. They let the anticipation build a little, but the man who is perfectly fine with calling you several times a day after you just met is the man you need to stop seeing.

Couples that have been dating for a while talk to each other several times a day. But, there’s no reason for someone you haven’t even known for more than a few days or weeks to call you repeatedly throughout the day. And, if a man has nothing to really tell you, then why would he need to speak to you so often in the day? Because he’s needy and this is exactly who needs to be crossed off your potential match list! 

2. He Calls You Back to Back

If the guy you’re dating calls you back to back if you don’t pick up the phone, this is a huge red flag that you’re dating a needy guy. Unless there’s an emergency or you’re really close with someone, it’s not okay to blow up a person’s phone when they don’t answer it. When the guy you’re dating is comfortable enough to call you 3 or 4 times in a day with nothing important to tell you, he may eventually be comfortable enough to stalk you too!

 Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. He Texts You All Day

If a guy you just met texts you all day, this is definitely a red flag. We all know how easy it is to let a text conversation drag on throughout the entire day, but when you’re dating someone new and have nothing of substance to say, it doesn’t make sense to text all day.

4. He Always Wants To Know What You’re Doing or Who You’re With

If you’re constantly being asked, “what are you doing” or “who are you with,” you probably need to steer clear of this guy altogether. Not only are these red flags that your guy is needy, but they are also red flags that your new guy may be jealous, insecure, controlling, or all of the above.

Also, there’s a difference between someone asking “what are you doing” in trying to make conversation and asking that question because they have to know the answer to it. It’s up to you as the woman to be able to decipher the difference. So, pay attention to how often you’re being asked who you are with or what you are doing AND the way it’s being asked. This way, you can avoid an unhealthy relationship early on!

 Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5. He Always Wants To Be With You

If you’ve been dating a guy for a very short period of time, but he already wants to spend every second of every day with you, be careful because this is a serious red flag! This particular type of needy guy wants to spend so much time with you that he’s willing to invite himself out with you and “the girls,” and that’s a big problem.

Wanting to spend all of your time with someone so early on comes from a place of insecurity, whether it’s being insecure about losing a woman to another man or being insecure that a woman may lose interest if you’re not always around. This behavior could also indicate a jealous or controlling nature. Being with a man that requires this much attention will wear you out and strain your budding romance.

6. He Makes You Feel Guilty For Not Being With Him

A new guy that wants to spend every second with you is a problem, but a new guy that makes you feel bad for doing things without him is even worse. It’s pretty immature for a man to try to make you feel bad or give you a guilt trip about going out without him. In relationships, both people need a little room to breathe and live.

If you allow a man to suffocate you and let his insecurity make you feel guilty for going out to catch up with your friends or family, then you’re enabling the development of an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship. So, do yourself a favor and throw this fish back in the water.

 Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

7. He Needs Constant Reassurance

A man that constantly needs reassurance that you like him and want to date him is not the kind of man you really want to date. Of course, men do wonder what level of feelings a woman may have for him, but it’s a totally different ballgame if he’s continuously seeking validation from you.

Being with a man that requires this much pacifying is draining and ultimately hurts the possibility of having a great, healthy relationship. Remember, just because a man is insecure doesn’t mean it’s your job to make him feel secure!

8. He Wants To Be Exclusive After A Few Dates

Any man who is ready to be in an exclusive relationship with you after only a few dates, is definitely a man you MUST take your time with. It’s never a good idea to jump head first into a relationship without taking the necessary time to get to know a man.

As much as you may have “clicked” with your date, slow it down and don’t let a man pressure you into starting a relationship before you’re ready!

Now that you’re equipped with some more great dating knowledge, it’s time to get out there and date!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

More Red Flags For Your Enjoyment:

Red Flag: He Suddenly Always Has To Work Late

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

5 Red Flags Men Need To Watch For

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?

3 Ways Women Play The Victim When Dating

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Image courtesy of Sakhorn38 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Every woman wants a great relationship, but not every woman is willing to put in the necessary work to get there. Although dating can be tough, you can make it more difficult than it has to be. If you want to do better in dating, you’re going to have to get past these 3 Ways Women Play The Victim When Dating:

 1. Dating The Same Type of Men

Dating the same type of men and expecting different results is unrealistic. You set yourself up for failure by dating the same type of men if previous relationships with those kind of men have never worked out.

It’s all too easy to play the victim when you allow yourself to be hurt repetitively. Your friends will comfort you after you’ve been wronged or cheated on, but how many of your friends will tell you that you should have known these problems would come up because you knew the type of person this man was?

While friends want to be there for us after break ups and during fights in a relationship, friends can do you a disservice by not helping you see that you are enabling your own relationship and dating problems. Once you get out of the habit of picking the same kind of men to date, you’ll soon see that not every man will hurt you like your exes.  

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

2. Saying That ALL Men Are Dogs 

If you believe that “all men are dogs” or “all men cheat” then what will you accept from men? Cheating and bad behavior, right? When you think this way, you’ll allow yourself to date “dogs” and cheaters. You’ll settle for the wrong man because you believe that a good man doesn’t exist. You believe all men will treat you badly.

But, the worst thing you can do is convince yourself that all men are bad. In doing this, you’ll prevent yourself from meeting a good man and having a great relationship. This type of thinking allows you to date an unworthy man without taking responsibility for making this dating choice in the first place.

 As a woman, you have to know that your dating life is in YOUR hands. Don’t just choose to date the first man that comes along just because he is there. Be scrutinizing, use your best judgment, and don’t date men that you know are going to hurt you!  

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. Staying in Bad Relationships

When you know your relationship isn’t good for you, but you stay in it anyway, you’re basically setting yourself up to play the victim role. As much as you wish or pray, your relationship isn’t going to get better just because you want it to.

When you have serious problems in your relationship, those problems tend to play out in the relationship over and over. So, if you decide to stay in a bad relationship, you can’t act like a victim when those problems resurface.

We all know that saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!” So, if you’re going to stay in the wrong relationship, continue to date the same kind of men, or claim that all men are bad, you can’t act like a helpless victim when the obvious does happen.

Stop blaming men for your dating problems and take responsibility for the men you choose to date, then you’ll notice changes in the quality of your relationships.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

5 Ridiculous Reasons Men Give For Going MIA When Dating

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Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Almost every woman has at least one story about a man they were dating who didn’t return a call or text for an extended period of time. Some women have experienced a man going MIA for a day or two while others have seen men go MIA for weeks or months.

Regardless of the length of time a man is MIA though, the one thing they all have in common is that they make ridiculous excuses for their absences. There’s a ton of excuses men give in these situations, but here are 5 ridiculous reasons men give for going MIA when dating:

1.  “I Was Busy”

The “I was busy” excuse is definitely one of the most common reasons that men give for not being in contact with a woman. Yes, a lot of people have very busy lives, that’s true. But, the reality is, men make time for who they really want. It takes no more than a few seconds to send a text so there’s really no excuse for not responding to a person you’re dating for days or weeks.

Never let a man convince you that he is so busy that he can’t even take 10 seconds out of his day to reply to your text!

2. “I Lost My Phone”

“I lost my phone” or “I left my phone at a friend’s house” are also common excuses men use for being MIA. Think about this though, if you left your phone at your friend’s house, you certainly wouldn’t take more than a day to get it back if not just a few hours.

And, we are all so attached to our smartphones that if we did happen to lose it many of us wouldn’t go more than a day or two without replacing it. So, if you haven’t heard back from a man in a week or more, you definitely shouldn’t be entertaining the “I lost my phone” excuse.

But, let’s just say the guy you’re dating did really lose his phone. Well, there’s still so many different ways that a man can get in touch with you. You can send emails or use social media, like Facebook, to send messages.

There are plenty of options for getting in touch with a person so losing your phone is not a legitimate excuse for going MIA!

3. “I Never Got Your Call/Text”

Here’s an excuse some men use because it manipulates a woman into accepting a man’s bad behavior and allows him to escape responsibility for his actions, or lack thereof.

When a man tells you that he never got your call or text, he puts you in a position where you feel like you can’t be mad at him for not responding. You feel like you have to drop the issue and let it go. Because, technically, he didn’t have control over the situation since he didn’t get your call, voicemail, or text, right?

Wrong!! There’s one thing you need to remember, ladies. Even if a man claims that he didn’t get your call, text, or voicemail, there’s still no excuse for why he hasn’t reached out to you in days or weeks. If you’re dating a man and he is genuinely interested in you, he’s not going to go a week or more without talking to you or reaching out to you.

Know that a man who actually likes you will want to reach out and talk to you whether you call him first or not!

4. “I Had Meningitis” or “I Was In The Hospital”

Some men excuse their absences with reasons like, “I had meningitis” (or some other crazy illness) or “I was in the hospital.” If a man genuinely had an illness that incapacitated him for weeks or months, it’s definitely understandable that he may not have the strength or ability to talk to you frequently.

But, if a man really likes you, he isn’t going to get sick and not say a peep to you for weeks or months. You may be too weak or unable to talk, but you can definitely send a text or get a friend or family member to do it for you!

An ill man would still want the woman he cares about in his life!

5.  “I Did Text You Back”

Let’s get real, texts and voicemails aren’t getting lost in the digital stratosphere! As long as you are texting the correct phone number, the recipient is going to get it. Now, your text may not always go through immediately, but it’s definitely getting to it’s destination.

So, when a man you’re dating tells you that he did text you back or he left you a voicemail and you got absolutely nothing from him, know that this is a huge red flag!

I’d love to know, what’s the craziest excuses you’ve gotten for a man being MIA? Leave your comments below!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Would Your Boyfriend Rather Spend The 4th of July With The Boys?

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Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The 4th of July is a great opportunity to spend quality time with your friends, family, and significant other. From barbecues to seafood boils, the 4th of July has a way of bringing people together.

If you’re in a relationship and not working on the 4th of July, you’re probably expecting to spend the holiday with your boyfriend. But, what if your boyfriend would rather spend the 4th of July with “the boys?”

If you live with your boyfriend or spend a lot of time with each other, you may want to catch up with your own family and friends over the holiday. And, it’s great to stay connected with your family and friends while you’re in a relationship.

But, if you don’t get to spend a lot of time with your boyfriend because of busy schedules, the holidays are the perfect opportunity to get that quality time in. So, if you don’t spend a lot of time with your boyfriend and he’d rather spend his free time over the holiday with his boys, then this is a red flag.

Don’t be afraid to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how you feel. If you want to spend time with your boyfriend over the holiday, express this and if he still doesn’t want to spend time with you, then you may need to re-evaluate your relationship.

And, if you don’t spend the 4th of July with your boyfriend, definitely don’t mope around the house feeling sorry for yourself. Call up some friends, make plans, and go have some fun!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Happy 4th of July!

Till Next Time,

Dee