Dee’s Dating Diary brought you some of the best dating advice in 2014. From red flags to first date etiquette to online dating, Dee’s Dating Diary truly provided need-to-know dating advice! Since 2014 really flew by, you may have missed some … Continue reading
Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,
How do you answer questions about why you’re single or why your last relationship ended?
Dear Dater,
Less is always more!
If you’ve been asked questions like these by someone you recently met, keep your answers short and sweet!
If you’re asked why you’re single, the best answer is always “you haven’t met the right person.” And, this isn’t a lie, it’s true!
If you already met the right person, you’d still be with him.
The Time Will Come To Open Up
After you’ve been on several dates, if you’re asked details about why your past relationship ended you can open up a bit more. But, remember, the new person you’re dating doesn’t need all the nitty gritty details.
When you’ve been dating someone for awhile, of course you’ll have to speak more openly about why it ended with your ex.
If a past relationship ended as a result of your own bad behavior, own up to what you did and be sure to tell the person how you learned from that mistake and that you’d never do that to someone again.
It’s easy to scare new dates off with what they may perceive as problems that you have. Too much information too soon can definitely kill a potential relationship. Check out the post I wrote about this: One Thing That Kills A Potential Relationship is…
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Yours Truly,
Dee
Need Dating or Relationship Advice?
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You can submit your questions using the contact form below!
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Your question will only be used to provide others with the same great dating advice that you receive!
So, stop stressing and dealing with your dating problems alone, contact Dee’s Dating Diary today!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Wow, I can’t believe this December 29, 2014 will make one year since I started Dee’s Dating Diary.
When I launched this blog, I had no idea if it would be a success and now I’m truly overwhelmed at the positive response Dee’s Dating Diary has received.
We all know that dating can be very difficult. But, half of the battle is really about cultivating your mental and emotional stability and well-being.
Only A Quality Woman Deserves A Quality Man
What’s the point in attracting a quality man if your emotional baggage and neuroses is just going to run him off or ruin the relationship?
Dee’s Dating Diary is about inspiring women to make the necessary changes within themselves as well as making better decisions and choices in their dating lives. Decisions that promote great, loving, and healthy relationships.
If you devote yourself to making positive changes within yourself and with your dating habits, you will see positive changes in your dating life as well.
Thanks For Loving Dee’s Dating Diary
I know it can be time consuming to keep up with life as well as all your favorite blogs and internet sites, so I’m grateful for your interest and continued following of Dee’s Dating Diary!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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Often times, women are so eager to have a boyfriend or get married that they allow themselves to date the first man that comes along who is open to a relationship.
Unfortunately, many women fail to determine whether a man is a quality person, let alone the right man for them.
With their sights set on marriage and kids, some women will overlook the fact that a man lacks certain important qualities.
Date The Man You Actually Want!
What many women fail to realize is that who you date is ultimately who you marry.
If he acts a certain way when you’re dating, you best believe he’s going to act the exact same way if you get married too!
Neither you nor a marriage can change a man into something that he is not.
In fact, whatever he is now may be amplified over the years so make sure a man is actually right for you before jumping into a relationship with him.
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Don’t Try To Change A Man
It’s very foolish to think you can change a man.
So, instead of dating any man that’s willing to call you his girlfriend, take the time to decipher whether a person is right for you and whether you’d be a good match.
If you feel the need to change a man, then you’re in the wrong relationship!
Save yourself the time and heartache and date the man who actually is who you want to date!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Last week I discussed 5 red flags that men need to pay attention to, so this week I’ve addressed 5 red flags that women should watch for. I wrote this article for Singles Warehouse and you can access it on their website here: 5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
While I normally address red flags that women should be watchful for with men, I want to focus on 5 red flags that men need to watch for with women.
Although some men are great at identifying red flags that tell you a woman may not be good relationship material, some men don’t readily notice these clues.
So, here are 5 Red Flags That Men Need To Watch For:
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Talking about “the future” too soon is definitely a red flag that you need to pay attention to. This is a sign that she may try to force the progression of your relationship.
Listen carefully when your date is speaking. If she uses the word “we” a lot, then you have a good idea of what you may be getting yourself into by continuing to date this woman.
If a woman is making plans for the both of you and it’s only your second date, you can’t act surprised when soon after she’s trying to pressure you into a relationship and then marriage!
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It’s never a good idea to date a needy or clingy woman. Clinginess is a sign that a woman will have dependency issues in the relationship.
Dating a woman that is completely dependent on you is detrimental to having a healthy relationship.
A needy woman requires A LOT of attention and pacifying. She can’t be alone and she’ll want to spend all of her time with you, which could make you feel suffocated by her attention.
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Talking about exes on the first few dates is a HUGE red flag! If she’s talking about her ex-boyfriend on a date with you, face it, she’s NOT over him.
You don’t want to have to deal with the emotional baggage she’s carrying from her last relationship.
Some women don’t take the necessary time to deal with issues from their previous relationship and actually HEAL before getting back into the dating world.
If you don’t want to deal with a woman’s issues that another man caused, then steer clear of the woman who can’t help but talk about her ex!
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
If your date makes a reference to you being a player type or suggests that you must date many women, and you’re not, this is a red flag that she may be the jealous type.
You don’t want to date a woman who is jealous for no reason because this will play out in your relationship if you decide to date her exclusively.
With a jealous woman, she may accuse you of cheating or even snoop through your phone or other things. Dating a jealous woman is not conducive to having a happy or healthy relationship.
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If a woman is very insecure and lacks self-confidence, this is a sign that you will have to put A LOT of effort into dating this woman.
This is because an insecure woman requires a lot of emotional work and, therefore, a lot of emotional support from you.
While it may seem admirable to take this relationship on and try to help your girlfriend work through her self-worth issues, true change can only come from her.
There’s nothing you can do to make her secure about herself. It’s called “SELF-” worth and “SELF-” confidence for a reason, it has to come from her, NOT you!
Any Thoughts?
What are your experiences with dealing with these kinds of red flags? I’d love to hear your stories and perspectives, so please leave a comment below!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Check out this article I wrote for Digital Romance Inc. This is a read you definitely don’t want to miss! You can find my article Here.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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Ideally, we all want to go out on a new date and make a great connection. We’d love to immediately “click” with the other person and hit it off!
But, not everyone is meant to make a connection that, ultimately, sparks a great relationship.
While you won’t always make a connection with new dates, there are things you can do to increase your chances of making a great connection on your next date.
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The On-Hand Technology Dilemma
In this day and age, we have all become so attached to technology and our little gadgets that we often let it get in the way of fully living and enjoying the moment.
We are constantly checking our phone for texts, emails, or calls and it’s to the detriment of what we have going on in front of us.
It’s not possible to be 100% in the moment while your using or checking your phone.
And, you better believe that people can sense when you’re not “in the conversation” and this can limit the amount of effort that a person will make in trying to talk to you or connect with you.
So, with the compulsion we feel towards constantly utilizing our technology, how can we prevent this from interfering with our dates and every day life?
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Turn The Technology Off
In order to increase your chances of making a genuine connection on your dates, you need to turn your technology off!
Now, I do understand that going on a date with someone new can present questions of safety, which necessitates access to your phone in case of an emergency.
However, you can put your phone on vibrate and keep it in your pocket or purse if you won’t feel compelled to pull it out the second it vibrates.
If you can’t keep yourself from checking your phone when you feel it vibrate, then you need to completely turn it off on your date or keep it in your car.
Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Make A Connection
It’s nearly impossible to make a connection with someone you don’t know when your face is buried in your phone.
It’s one thing if your expecting a really important phone call, in which case, you should let your date know that you’re expecting an important phone call so they won’t feel unimportant or ignored on the date.
Considering that it’s not always easy to make a connection with someone new, you have to know that regularly checking your phone will actually hurt the flow of conversation and take you “out of the moment.”
In remaining connected to the conversation, and thus, your date, you make it much easier to make a great connection.
Image courtesy of Marin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Conversation Is A Two-Way Street
Conversation on a date is not a one-way street. It takes the effort of both people.
If your focus is on your phone and who’s texting or emailing you, you won’t be putting in the requisite amount of effort you need in order to continue the fluidity of your conversation.
Therefore, if you want to increase your chances of making a great connection on your next date, you need to turn your technology off!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
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You’re not necessarily supposed to be in a relationship for every year of your adult life. Yet, you’ll often find women who are envious of their friends with serial relationships.
You know the women I’m talking about, the ones who are never single for more than a few weeks at a time, the ones who jump from one relationship to the very next without even batting an eye. They’ve always had serial relationships.
But, these are not women to be jealous or envious of.
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How Many Relationships Should You Have?
If you’re wondering how many relationships you’re supposed to have, realize that there is no magic number that’s going to bring you any closer to your “Mr. Right.”
Your chances of meeting the right man and getting married is not dependent upon the number of relationships that you’ve had in your life.
At the end of the day, what’s truly important is your ability to learn from your past relationships in order to recognize and change those things that prevent you from attracting quality men and healthy relationships.
If you jump from relationship to relationship without taking the time to think about the choices you made or bad behavior you accepted, you’ll continue to have bad relationship after bad relationship and you’ll face the same issues each time if not worse.
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Inhibiting Self-Awareness & Change
Some women won’t leave a bad relationship until there’s another man to latch onto and this isn’t healthy at all. In doing this, you avoid facing and addressing serious issues you have with yourself and your relationships.
Going from relationship to relationship, doesn’t give yourself enough time to heal, learn, and grow from that experience. But, why is this important?
It’s important because you’ll never learn the lessons you’re supposed to from your past relationships with men. It’s important because you’ll continue to choose the wrong kind of men and make the same mistakes over and over.
Serial relationships don’t enable you to do the deep soul-searching that needs to be done to figure out why you chose to date your ex, what mistakes you made, and what changes need to be made in your dating life.
Be accountable, be knowledgable of your actions and yourself, take the time to reflect on your relationship and heal before you look to getting into another one!
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Are You Envying A Healthy Relationship?
Some women are jealous of another woman’s serial relationships, not because those relationships are healthy or have a great dynamic, but simply because they just want a boyfriend too.
Most of the time, when women are envious of their friends with serial relationships, those relationships are usually unhealthy ones that shouldn’t be envied at all.
The truth is, you should never envy another person’s relationship. The old saying is certainly true, “The grass isn’t greener on the other side.”
Unfortunately, many women are more than happy to put up fake fronts about how great their relationship is, even if she’s miserable in it.
Therefore, you should never get caught up wanting what someone else has. You never know what really goes on behind closed doors.
Don’t Entertain Self-Doubt
When you have a friend that easily finds her next relationship, it may make you look at yourself and wonder why you aren’t able to do the same.
But, you aren’t inadequate or lacking in any way simply because you haven’t had as many relationships as your friends or because you’ve been single for awhile.
Don’t be jealous or envious of your friends that always have a man. Focus on growing as a person and taking much needed lessons from your past relationships and dealings with men so your next relationship will be a better and healthier one!
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
For more great dating advice and must-read dating articles, Follow me on Twitter Here and on Facebook Here
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This week, I wanted to address a very common red flag that most younger women tend to overlook.
How many times have you had plans with a man just for him to be a “no call, no show?”
You made plans the day before or even days in advance, but when the time comes to see each other he’s not picking up his phone. And, he’s definitely not calling back.
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What Does “Falling Asleep” On You Mean?
If a man stands you up and tells you the next day that he “fell asleep,” trust me, HE’S LYING!
The harsh reality is that he’s not into you at all! Men don’t fall asleep when they have plans with a woman.
Most likely, he found something better to do, maybe with another woman, or he wasn’t even in the mood to talk to you or deal with you at all.
It’s sad that some men don’t even have enough respect for a woman to call her and cancel their plans. The truth is, he shouldn’t have made plans with you in the first place.
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
This Won’t Be The Last Time
One thing that I can guarantee you though, if a man tells you that he fell asleep when you had plans, this won’t be the last time that he’s a “no call, no show.”
The only difference will be that each time he “disappears” on you like this, he’s excuses will get bigger and bigger.
It could go from “falling asleep” to “losing his phone” to “being sick in the hospital.”
Image courtesy of Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
How Do You Handle It?
When the guy you had plans with doesn’t call you or return your call, either you start worrying about his well-being OR you get pissed!
Pissed that he’s standing you up. Pissed that he doesn’t have the decency to call or cancel the date. Pissed that he put you through this (and you got all cute and everything too)!
Now, some women in this position will call the man once or twice while others will blow up his phone all night and probably leave a few voicemails or texts cursing him out.
All of that is unnecessary though! When a man stands you up, the last thing you need to do is worry about his well-being, blow up his phone, or waste your energy cursing him out!
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Did You Push For The Date?
Interestingly enough though, women usually encounter these situations when they are the ones pursuing the man. Think about it.
If this has ever happened to you, were you the one that pushed the topic of getting together? Did he actually say he wanted to do something with you or did he just agree to your suggestion to meet?
It’s important not to chase men into relationships. You may get some attention from your efforts, but it may not be lasting.
Let a man go after you so that you don’t force yourself on someone that just isn’t that into you.
The next time a man “falls asleep” on you, drop him like a hot potato and never look back!!
For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve
Till Next Time,
Dee
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In this day and age, it’s quite unfortunate that you see so many women “dating down.”
But, what is dating down, you ask?
Dating down is when you date men that aren’t good for you or worthy of you.
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Common Types of “Dating Down”
If you’re dating a man that doesn’t respect and cherish you and the value that you bring to the relationship, and instead, puts you down, cheats on you, abuses you or controls your every movement, then you’re dating down.
Do you have to fight for attention? Ask your man to call you? Or remind him that you exist?? You’re dating down.
Are you an ambitious, driven, well-educated woman dating a man who isn’t ambitious or driven to, for example, learn a trade/skill, pursue entrepreneurial endeavors, or pursue a higher education? Well, you’re dating down.
Are you supporting a man that isn’t self sufficient? Whether he’s “borrowing” your money or your car, face it, you’re dating down!
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Problems With Dating Down
When you date down, you open yourself up to significant problems that you shouldn’t have to deal with.
These relationships negatively affect your self-esteem. You’ll probably start to think that this is what you deserve. That you’ll never find better.
You’ll eventually downplay your self-worth and, consequently, your self-confidence will dwindle as well.
When you’re treated poorly or stay in the wrong relationship, you’ll get desensitized to those things that you shouldn’t have to accept.
The chances of your next relationship being healthier or better is slim because you’ve gotten used to accepting less than what you need and deserve from a relationship. This easily turns into a cycle.
You may even falsely believe that it’s better to have this man than no man at all.
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Ready For Change?
Dating down can lead you to resenting the man you’re dating because he’s not who you want him to be. But, truthfully, you can only blame yourself for choosing to date a man that wasn’t right for you in the first place.
If you’ve been dating down, you owe it to yourself to let that relationship go in order to attract a man who actually deserves you. A man who appreciates your worth, a man you don’t have to financially support, a man who has ambition.
Give yourself a chance to attract a man that is on your level. Someone who is self sufficient and can pay his own bills and maintain his own car.
You’ll never have a better relationship as long as you stay in the wrong one. So free yourself now, as hard as it may be, so that you can have true happiness in the future.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
There are some women who have a preference for dating older men while other women just “happen” into these relationships.
Majority of the time, women date older men that remind them of their fathers or who fulfill some fatherly role for them.
Although this happens more so with women who grew up without a father in their life, even women who did have a father growing up find themselves looking to an older man for certain qualities or support that a father would provide.
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Dating Older Men
The truth is, you shouldn’t be dating a man because he provides you with something you’re father never did or used to when he was alive.
Dating an older man can be tricky because sometimes you’ll find that older men play just as many games with your heart as younger men, except they’re much better at the game than any youngster out there!
Older men understand women much more and can easily use that to manipulate a younger woman’s mind and emotions.
You definitely need to understand whether your feelings for an older man are genuine or a by-product of missing or craving some fatherly like fulfillment in your life.
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
“Aging Out”
When you date an older man you always have to worry about whether you’re going to “age out” of the relationship.
Meaning, you’ll constantly be stressing about whether you’re getting too old for your older man.He may just have a thing for younger women.
He may like the ease that comes with dating a younger, more naive person.
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Relationship Awareness
Just be cognizant of the reasons you and your older man want a relationship with each other.
Make sure it’s coming from a healthy place on BOTH sides!
Deal with your daddy issues and make sure you aren’t replacing your father with your boyfriend.
For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.
Till Next Time,
Dee
Dee's Dating Diary 