Category Archives: Relationships

6 Signs You Can’t Be Friends With Your Ex

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The topic of whether you can be friends with an ex is usually a debated one. While some people believe it is possible, others think its inappropriate or unrealistic. But is it really possible to have a genuine friendship with an ex? And if so, is it possible to maintain that friendship without it affecting your future relationships?

Well, a person’s ability to have a genuine, platonic friendship with an ex is based on 6 intertwined factors:

1. Maturity Level

You’re more likely to be able to maintain a friendship with an ex if both of you are mature. Maturity in this respect is accepting the outcome of the relationship, not harboring any negative feelings, genuinely wanting the best for an ex (even if it means not being together), and not treating each other poorly because of residual negative feelings from the break up. If an ex isn’t mature in these aspects and doesn’t continue to respect you, there’s no way a friendship could possibly work.

2. Feelings About The Break Up

If either person is harboring any negative feelings about the relationship or breakup, they won’t be capable of sustaining a friendship. Those lingering negative feelings after a breakup will spill into the friendship in some way. Your ex might have an attitude with you out of nowhere, do something that seems vengeful, or even make you feel bad about yourself simply because they are still angry about breaking up. Whatever snarky things an ex may do will prevent a friendship from ever working.

3. Desire To Get Back Together

This is a huge determining factor in whether a genuine friendship with an ex can work. Although some people will tell you that a relationship ended mutually, few breakups are ever mutual. The truth is, when there’s a breakup, one person always wishes the relationship didn’t end. No matter how convincing your ex was when he or she amicably agreed to breakup, you better believe that your ex would have preferred to stay together.

When you’re friends with an ex who wants you back, your ex might try to sabotage your dating efforts or future relationships. In this case, there’s no way you can maintain a genuine friendship. However, if an ex is mature enough to recognize that the relationship cannot be revived, embraces other options, doesn’t let residual feelings negatively affect the friendship and your future relationships with other people, there’s hope for a real friendship to blossom.

4. Jealousy

It is very common for the person who is broken up with to be jealous of their ex’s new dates or love interests. This jealousy could manifest itself in many different ways. A jealous ex might act angry, frustrated, or annoyed with you, question your whereabouts, try to sabotage your relationships, or intentionally give you bad dating advice. A lack of jealousy is imperative for a friendship to work with an ex.

5. Stuck In Your Relationship Ways

If you try to be friends with an ex immediately after breaking up it’s extremely difficult to hang out without acting like a couple. After all, you did just spend the past several months or years together so it’s understandable that you’re accustomed to acting a certain way with each other. Unfortunately, things like your old lovey-dovey or touchy-feely ways can get in the way. You may have loved running your fingers through your exes hair, but if you can’t stop doing it after the breakup, you simply just can’t be friends. 

6. Friends With Benefits

It should go without saying, but if you become “friends with benefits” with an ex, a genuine, platonic friendship is out of the question. Continuing to have sex after the breakup blurs the lines in more ways than one. If you try to have a friendship with your ex, but keep having sex you essentially enter a situation that resembles your relationship without the official title.

And if one person is still eager to be back in the relationship, it’s only a matter of time before the question, “what are we really doing” comes up. Lets face it, someone is going to seriously wonder why there was a breakup at all. 

So, if both people are mature, don’t harbor negative feelings about the breakup, don’t want to get back together, don’t start a “friends with benefits” situation, and respect each others future relationships, then a genuine friendship may just work out!

Here’s the kicker though, what happens if your next boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t comfortable with the friendship you have with your ex? What if it’s your husband or wife that has an issue with the friendship? Are you willing to end a friendship with an ex if your current partner is bothered by it? Let me know what you think in the comments!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credits: Images courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Red Flags vs. Deal Breakers

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There is a significant difference between red flags, which tell you there might be a big problem with the man you’re dating, and deal breakers. Deal breakers are things that show you a relationship will never work or won’t be good for you. While red flags are more like hints or signs that there may be underlying problems, once you encounter a deal breaker, you need to cut ties immediately.

It’s up to you though to be able to differentiate between red flags and deal breakers. An example of a deal breaker would be any kind of abuse, verbal, emotional, or physical. There’s no questions here, if you encounter abuse, that’s a deal breaker and you need to end the relationship immediately. No kind of abuse is acceptable under any circumstances. It doesn’t matter if your man is super stressed out or going through a lot, there is never an excuse for abuse!

However, if a man’s attention is dwindling and he’s not seeing you as frequently, this is a red flag because it suggests that there may be a problem beneath the surface. Perhaps he’s losing interest in you or maybe he’s seeing someone else. Either way, this is something that warrants an open and honest conversation with the person you’re dating. This kind of red flag doesn’t mean you need to immediately end the relationship, but you do need to address the issue to make sure there isn’t a bigger problem going on.

So, keep your eyes open and start recognizing the difference between red flags and deal breakers so that you can act accordingly!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Learn About More Red Flags and Deal Breakers:

Red Flag: He’s Too Busy To Call

Red Flag: He Sells You The Dream Relationship

Red Flag: Does He Pull Disappearing Acts?

Red Flag: He Suddenly Always Has To Work Late

Red Flag: He Fell Asleep

Deal Breaker: He’s A Deadbeat Dad

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You In Love Or On An Emotional Roller Coaster?

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Some men make dating an emotional roller coaster for women and instead of getting off the ride, many women continue to deal with the crazy ups and downs. What’s worse though is that women tend to mistake those feelings from an emotional roller coaster for a strong attraction or genuine love.

Here’s the thing, when a man is constantly breaking his promises, telling you he’s too busy to see or call you, canceling your dates, pulling disappearing acts, or letting you down, it conjures up many emotions within you and, consequently, creates an emotional tie to the man putting you through this.

The Emotional Roller Coaster

Whether you want to admit it or not, when a man lets you down in some way you feel badly about it and when he comes back to redeem himself you all of a sudden feel great again, right? But, what happens when he does it again? You anxiously wait for him to make it up to you again, right? Well, this is the emotional roller coaster and it helps create an unhealthy attachment to men you really shouldn’t be dating at all.

In going through those ups and downs, you unconsciously develop strong feelings towards a man that is easy to mistake for genuine feelings of love or interest. But, the reality is those strong feelings are really just a result of a man treating you poorly, it’s not because you’re in love.

Is He Boring Or Is He Just Not A Jerk?

Women who are used to dealing with emotional roller coasters when dating often pass up on great men because the men are “not exciting” or their “boring.” These women say, “I just don’t feel a strong connection.” But the truth is, they are just so used to dealing with a whirlwind of emotions from the constant let downs that they think a lack of those strong emotions swirling inside of them means there isn’t a good connection with a man.

When you are waiting for a man to make something up to you, it feels so great when he does because he made you feel so badly when he let you down. That extreme happiness you feel when a man tries to fix his mess is not what your goal should be in dating because you only feel that happy because you previously felt so sad. These kinds of emotions are never going to measure up to what you have with a man who doesn’t put you through hell. And that is because you’ll have emotional stability. 

When you are so used to dealing with the downs and waiting for the ups that it affects your judgment of other men, that’s a serious problem! It’s all too easy to mistake the kinds of feelings you have for a man, which is why it’s important that you recognize how and why your feelings develop for men. Don’t sabotage your dating life by refusing to date men who don’t take you on a roller coaster ride!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

10 Signs You’re Dating Too Many Guys At One Time

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There’s nothing wrong with dating more than one guy at a time (7 Reasons Why You Should Date More Than One Guy At A Time), but the number of men you’re dating needs to be kept within reason. You definitely don’t need a roster! So, here are 10 signs you’re dating too many guys at one time:

1. You Forget A Guy’s Name.

If you’re on a date or talking on the phone with a guy and you can’t quickly remember his name, you’re dating too many guys at one time!

If you have to introduce your date to someone and you can’t remember his name, you’re dating too many guys at one time.

2. You Call Him The Wrong Name

If you’re mixing up names and calling a man by the wrong name, you’re dating too many guys at one time.

3. You Dial The Wrong Guy

If you call one guy you’re dating, but actually meant to call a different guy, you’re definitely dating too many guys at once.

4. You Have To Re-check Who You’re Calling

If you call one of the guys you’re dating and shortly after you dial his number you have to look at your phone screen to remember which one you’re calling, you’re dating too many guys at one time.

If you’re in the middle of a phone conversation and you have to look at the phone screen to remember which guy you’re talking to, you’re dating too many guys at one time.

5. You Mix Up Information

If you mix up the things you’ve learned about the guys you’re dating, that’s a problem. If you start telling a friend about one of the men you’re dating and you later realize that you actually told her details about the wrong guy, you’re dating too many people at one time.

6. You Can’t Recognize A Guy’s Voice

If you can’t recognize one of the guys you’re dating by his voice, you’re dating too many guys at one time. You should be able to answer your phone, hear a man’s voice, and know who you’re talking to. However, if you were never good at recognizing voices, this doesn’t apply to you.

7. You Have To Use Code Names

If you have to save every guy’s number with a code word or phrase to remember who he is, you’re dating too many guys at one time.

8. Restaurant/Bar Staff Knows Your Game

If you’re going on dates with different guys at the same places and the restaurant or bar staff knows your game, you’re dating too many guys at the same time.

9. Your Friends Can’t Keep Up

If your friends or family can’t remember a guy’s name, you’re dating too many guys at one time.

If your friends resort to creating quirky nicknames for the guys you’re dating because it’s easier to remember and keep up with, you’re dating too many guys at once.

10. You Have To Re-read Texts For Details

If you have to re-read your entire text conversations to recall facts about your date, you’re dating too many guys at one time.

It’s definitely great to get out there and date, but don’t date so many men at once that keeping up with it all becomes a full-time job.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Get A Free Consultation With Dee The Dating Coach

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Do you need dating or relationship advice? If so, I’m offering free consultations through April 30, 2016 to the first 10 people who contact me using the form below. See first hand, and for FREE, how a one-on-one session can help your dating and relationship life.

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Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

7 Reasons Why You Should Date More Than One Guy At A Time

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Many people misperceive the idea of dating more than one man at a time. It’s not about sleeping with multiple men, it’s about dating smarter and dating more objectively. So, here are 7 reasons why you should date more than one guy at a time:

1. You Won’t Have Time To Obsess

Just about every woman who has dated and owns a cell phone is guilty of rereading a date’s texts or replaying his voicemails. When you spend time dwelling on and over-analyzing texts, voicemails, emails, etc, you may start feeling more connected to a person than you should. Take away your ability to obsess by spending time getting to know other men. 

2. You Won’t Get Overly Attached

When you’re dating one guy, it’s easy to get attached to him even if he’s not really right for you. But when you date more than one guy at a time, it prevents you from being able to obsess over any one man, which in turn, allows you to remain emotionally balanced while getting to know a man. Remember that obsessive behavior helps you unconsciously develop unhealthy emotional attachments to men.

3.  It Forces You To Slow Down

Dating more than one man at a time allows you to slow down and pace the dating process because you have to divide your time and attention among more than one person. If you’re dating 2-3 men, it doesn’t allow you to spend every waking second with one man and that’s good!

Trying to spend too much time with a man too soon could push him away or scare him off altogether. And it could make you feel like you have more of a connection than you actually do.

  4. You See More Objectively

Being able to be objective when you’re dating is important and dating multiple men allows you to see things more objectively. When you don’t have time to over-think about one particular man and reread all his texts to your friends, you’ll have a clearer picture of who your date actually is as opposed to some fantasized image of who you hope this man will be.

5. You Can Objectively Gauge The Connection

Dating more than one guy at a time allows you to be more aware of the type of connection you have established. If you haven’t been in a serious relationship in a while and you’re eager to start your next one, you may not have an accurate gauge of the connection you have with your date. You may feel like you have a strong connection with your date simply because he says he wants to get married and start a family one day. So, you may not be able to decipher whether there is a true connection and compatibility because of your strong desire for a relationship.

On the other hand, when you date one man you could feel like you have an okay connection with him and because it’s been a while since you’ve had any connection at all, you’re eager to see where things can go. However, when you’re dating more than one guy at a time, you may see that you have an okay connection with one man, but a spectacular connection with another. If that’s the case, do you want to stop dating the guy you have the amazing connection with and continue dating the guy you feel “so-so” about? The answer is obvious. 

6. You Will Make Better Choices

When you’re not obsessing over your date and you’re able to be objective about men and your compatibility, you will ultimately choose a better long-term partner.

7. You Can Break Bad Dating Habits.

No one is perfect and we all have things we can work on. The bad part is, it takes time to eliminate your bad dating habits so you need practice in order to break those habits and replace them with positive ones and this means going on a lot of dates!

While you may feel uncomfortable dating more than one guy at a time, give it a try to see if it gives you a better perspective and helps you make better long-term dating choices. 

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date Men Who Live With Their Exes

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Veronica’s Story*

When Veronica started dating Charles, he was completely upfront and honest about the fact that he still lived with his ex-girlfriend. He told Veronica that they broke up months ago, but neither could afford to move out before the lease was up. Charles assured Veronica that he and his ex lived strictly as roommates and that he no longer had feelings for her. Veronica appreciated that Charles was honest about his living situation and she felt confident in her choice to continue dating him.

Although Veronica wasn’t interested in spending time at Charles’ apartment since his ex-girlfriend would be there, she didn’t like the fact that they could only hang out at her apartment. On top of that, Charles would never sleep at Veronica’s place because he wasn’t sure how his ex would react to him dating just months after the relationship ended. While this didn’t sit well with Veronica, she wrote off her feelings and swept her slight bitterness under the rug.

As the 4th of July holiday approached, Veronica asked Charles if he wanted to barbecue together at her place. He told her yes, but that it would have to be closer to the evening because he was going to another barbecue. When she asked if it was a certain friend’s barbecue who told her it was actually his ex-girlfriend’s family’s barbecue. Veronica was crushed.

The whole time she dated Charles she genuinely believed that him and his ex had completely cut ties, but that wasn’t the case at all. She asked him why he would be going to their barbecue and he said he didn’t want his ex to feel bad because she had to go alone. Obviously, this was a load of crap and Veronica knew that Charles had not been as upfront and honest about his “ex” as she thought he’d been.

Moral of the story? No matter what reasons or excuses a man gives you, you should never date a man who still lives with his ex-girlfriend and here are four important reasons why:

1. It’s Probably Not Over

If you’re dating a man who lives with his “ex,” there’s a good chance that your new love interest is still in that relationship.

2. The Attachment Isn’t Broken

You can’t completely get over an ex and move on when you still live together. You need to know that your date still has a strong emotional attachment to his ex. A man might tell you that he’s over his ex, but living together allows a person to temporarily escape some of the pain that a full separation would cause.

3. Relationship Relapses Are Real

If the relationship is actually over, this doesn’t mean you’re in the clear. When you continue living with an ex after a break up, getting back together is all too easy and you could get your heartbroken all because of residual feelings that eventually are acted upon.

4. You’ll Always Be The Rebound Girl

Another important reason why you shouldn’t date men that live with their exes is because you become the rebound girl. All you are is a crutch for this man to bridge the gap between leaving his ex and regaining his freedom. Remember, men usually never end up seriously dating or marrying the rebound girl.

Give a man time to fully untangle himself from his last relationship and emotionally move on before considering him as a date option.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

*The names in this article have been changed for anonymity.
Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

10 Signs Your Boyfriend Will Never Be Your Husband

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1. He Says He’s Not “Ready” For Marriage

Most of us have heard a story of a women who broke up with a man because he wasn’t ready for marriage and within a year or two he’s married to someone else. When a man tells you that he’s not ready for marriage, what he’s really saying is, “I’m not ready to marry you!”

Not being “ready” for marriage is just an excuse. If you’ve already been dating for two years or more, there’s no amount of time that’s going to change the way your boyfriend feels about you. 

2. He Takes You For Granted

If your boyfriend takes you for granted while you’re dating, he most likely will never see the value in marrying you. This is why you have to Stop Treating Your Boyfriend Like Your Husband! When you treat your boyfriend like your husband he’ll take all the things you do for granted and, consequently, he won’t see the need to marry you because you already give him everything he would have as your husband.

3. He Doesn’t Introduce You To People As His Girlfriend

If your boyfriend doesn’t introduce you to people as his girlfriend then he doesn’t take your relationship very seriously and the likelihood of him ever marrying you is slim to none.

4. He Refuses To Relocate For The Relationship

If you’re in a long distance relationship and your boyfriend refuses to relocate for the relationship, he’s never going to be your husband.

5. He Doesn’t Believe In Marriage

If your boyfriend tells you that he doesn’t believe in marriage or it’s just a piece of paper, then he really has no intentions of ever marrying you. You want a man who is afraid of losing you, not a man who is afraid of being with you!!

6. You Haven’t Met His Close Friends or Family

If you’ve been dating for over a year and your boyfriend’s friends and family lives in the same city as the both of you, there’s a reason he hasn’t introduced you to them. If a man really loves you and is open to spending the rest of his life with you, he isn’t going to hide you from his friends and family. 

7. He’s Not Friends With You on Facebook

If your boyfriend has a Facebook account and you’ve been dating for almost a year or more, but aren’t Facebook friends, he definitely doesn’t plan on marrying you one day. 

8. He Suggests Breaking Up

If your boyfriend suggests that you break up anytime you bring up relationship problems, he’s never going to be your husband. This guy already has one foot out the door because he would rather leave you than work through any issues with you. Remember, you never want to hold on to a man who doesn’t want to be held.

9. He Pulls Disappearing Acts

If your boyfriend Pulls Disappearing Acts, he’s never going to be your husband! A man who easily runs away from your relationship has no intentions of making you his wife.

10. He Spends More Time With “The Boys” Than You

If your boyfriend spends more time with his friends than you, he’s never going to be your husband. It’s definitely important for both men and women to maintain their friendships while they’re in a relationship, but if your boyfriend prefers to spend less time with you he’s not going to commit himself to spending the rest of his life with you.

For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credits: Images courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3 Ways Your Smartphone Is Hurting The Quality of Your Relationships

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Smartphones and tablets have made it easier than ever to stay connected with the world at all times. But, at what cost? We get so used to checking our emails, texts, social media, and websites that we often don’t recognize the negative impact is has on our relationships.

Self-awareness of our behavior and how it impacts our relationships is an important step in the process of improving the quality of our relationships. So, here are 3 ways your smartphone is hurting the quality of your relationships:

1. You’re Not Engaged

When you’re constantly doing things on your phone, you aren’t staying in the moment. While you may feel present in a conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you’re responding to texts, the reality is, you’re not.

You can’t truly be engaged with someone when part of your attention is focused on your phone. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get carried away on your phone and not really enjoy the time you are spending with your partner. What could be an intimate or engaging evening turns out to be stale, boring, and mostly silent.

2. Your Sweetheart Feels Ignored

The attention your smartphone gets deprives your loved ones of the attention and affection they deserve. If you think being preoccupied with your phone goes unnoticed, even if it’s just while watching a movie, you’re sadly mistaken. Your boyfriend or girlfriend can definitely tell when you’re not in the moment. You’re physically there, but you’re not mentally there.

The person you’re dating shouldn’t feel like he or she has to compete with your smartphone for attention. You also don’t want your sweetie to feel like you aren’t interested in what he or she is saying because you’re half-heartedly engaged in conversations, only making one or two comments here and there.

No one likes feeling ignored or unimportant, but this is what happens when you focus on your phone more than what a person is saying.

3. It Decreases The Intimacy

Being more in tune with your phone than your sweetheart can take a toll on your relationship. You should be maximizing the time you spend with your honey and you do this by giving your undivided attention. Staying in the moment will allow you to increase the intimacy and connection between you two.

Don’t let texts, emails, social media, or candy crush get in the way of what you’re building. Unless there’s an emergency or an important business deal on the table, everything else can wait.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is A Facebook Friendship An Indicator of A Budding Relationship?

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For some women, a Facebook friendship with the guys they’re dating is validation of a potential budding relationship. Although a Facebook friendship doesn’t mean you’re officially in an exclusive relationship, sometimes a lot of emphasis is put on a mans acceptance of a friend request. But, is a Facebook friendship really an indicator of a man’s interest in you or a budding relationship? Well, it depends, but not really.

The Facebook Friendship

Just because your friendship request is accepted doesn’t mean a guy really likes you or is open to a relationship with you. Some men have no problem being Facebook friends with women they have no intentions of dating seriously or even seeing again. So, just because the man you’re dating accepts your Facebook friend request doesn’t mean there is a budding relationship on the horizon.

However, if you have been dating a guy for a few weeks and he won’t accept your friend request this is a huge red flag! In this case, it’s guaranteed that you have no future with this man. If your friend request is rejected then it means there’s no real interest there and the guy is not that into you. Or, he may just want to continue dating other women.

The truth is, if a man genuinely likes you and is interested in the potential of an exclusive relationship with you, he will gladly accept your friend request. It’s as simple as that! A man who isn’t taking you seriously or doesn’t see any kind of future with you, most likely won’t want to have a social media friendship with you either.

Is It Too Soon For A Facebook Friendship?

While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be Facebook friends with your new love interest, if you try to be Facebook friends too soon, you may send the wrong message. A man might think you’re a stalker, needy, or desperate if you’re Facebook friending him before you’ve even gone out on the first date or right after the first date. Wait until you have been dating for several weeks before sending a friend request to the guy you’re dating.

You should really take your time and get to know a man before you invite him into your social media life. This will also allow you to reduce the amount of senseless Facebook friendships you have with men you’ve only dated a couple of times.

All in all, you need to be cautious about placing too much emphasis on a Facebook friendship while also being able to acknowledge the implications of a rejected friend request. If he won’t be your Facebook friend, don’t fret just move on!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is Your Selfie Obsession Limiting The Intimacy in Your Relationship?

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If you’re constantly taking selfies of you and your boyfriend when you’re doing things together, you can easily take away the deeper level of intimacy that you could be sharing in that moment. Instead of gazing into each other’s eyes and enjoying the moment to cultivate and maintain that spark, passion, and closeness during a beautiful meal, for example, you’re taking pictures of your food and posting it on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

You want to maintain that great connection, passion, and intimacy in your relationship and you promote these things when you take advantage of every beautiful opportunity to simply enjoy each other. When you’re snapping all those pictures and posting them on social media, what is your man doing during this time? He has to just sit or stand there and wait for you to engage with him again. It’s not fair to him and it’s really not fair to yourself.

Why should you deprive your honey and the relationship of the full attention that it deserves? All to portray some image or lifestyle to your Facebook friends?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with capturing life’s beautiful moments, but it needs to be within reason. You don’t need to capture every last second of what you are doing with your boyfriend. And, you definitely don’t need to over do it by taking a bunch of pictures just to get that perfect shot to rub in everyone’s face on Facebook. 

Start taking advantage of the beautiful moments you get with your boyfriend instead of killing them with selfies!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If You Just Started Dating, Is It Too Soon To Exchange Holiday Gifts?

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If you are a new couple or you have only been dating for a short amount of time, you may be wondering what to get your honey for the holidays. Or, you may be wondering if it is too soon to exchange gifts at all.

If you have been dating for about one month, go with something small, maybe a cute holiday teddy bear. Just keep it simple, it’s the thought that counts. But, if you have only been dating for three weeks or less, don’t worry about exchanging gifts.

After a few months of dating, you will definitely need to get your honey a holiday gift! It shouldn’t  be a tiny teddy bear, but it also shouldn’t be extravagant. Don’t over do it, but don’t make it look like your gift was an afterthought.

With it being the holiday season, now is the perfect time to perk your ears up for things your honey says he/she wants. If those things are too expensive to gift this early into the relationship, think of a hobby your partner enjoys and get them a gift that supports it.

If you are buying a gift for a woman, think romance, not practical! If you are buying a gift for a man, give yourself a small, but reasonable budget and stick with it!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,  

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of digidreamgrafix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Fighting With Your Boyfriend About Where To Spend The Holidays?

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The holiday season is such a joyous time. From the beautiful holiday decorations to the quality time you get to spend with your loved ones, the holidays is a time for love not war. But, when you disagree with your boyfriend about where to spend the holidays, it could cause more stress than happiness. 

So, if you want to avoid fighting  about where to spend the holidays, check out my article Where To Spend The Holidays When You’re In A Relationship.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Gualberto107 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

9 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date Extremely Jealous Men

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Jealousy has nothing to do with how strongly a man feels about you, but women often mistake a man’s jealousy for love or a high level of interest. There are different levels of jealousy, but if you date a man who is extremely jealous, you’re setting yourself up for an unhealthy relationship because real happiness and love just isn’t possible. So, here are 9 reasons why you should avoid dating extremely jealous men:

1. You’re Always On Trial

When your boyfriend is extremely jealous, you have to deal with regular accusations of cheating. You’re always standing trial and being persecuted for innocent behavior. Maybe a male coworker gave you a ride home from work or maybe you went out with girlfriends and came home an hour later than you said you would. No matter what the innocent behavior is, having your life under your boyfriend’s microscope isn’t easy!

2. You Always Have To Prove Yourself

When you’re always on trial, what do you have to do? Prove your innocence! And you better make a good case! When an extremely jealous boyfriend accuses you of cheating, you have to prove your fidelity and love. You have to convince him that you would never disrespect your relationship. But, truthfully, there’s no amount of convincing that you can do to make a jealous man trust you.

Good relationships take enough work to maintain and having to constantly prove that you’re not cheating and you do love your boyfriend is stressful and draining, to say the least.

3. The Relationship May Take a Turn For The Worst

Extreme jealousy could be a sign that your relationship may turn into an abusive one. Abusive men are usually extremely jealous and frequently perceive innocent behavior as evidence of or acts of infidelity. And, these misperceptions are often used as excuses for abuse.

4. Snooping Is Probably On The Horizon

Extreme jealousy can cause other unhealthy behaviors like snooping and even stalking. And, it’s actually very painful and hurtful to know that your boyfriend distrusts you enough to snoop or follow you to places.

 5. He May Never Trust You 

If your boyfriend is extremely jealous, there’s really no trust in your relationship. One of the fundamental elements of a great, loving relationship is trust. If your boyfriend can’t trust you from the moment you start dating, what would ever truly get him to trust you? Besides working on his emotional issues, there’s absolutely nothing you can do or not do that will build your boyfriend’s trust in you.

6. His Jealously May Erode Your Trust

Your boyfriend may never trust you and his jealousy may erode your own trust in him. It’s hard to trust someone who doesn’t trust you. If you can maintain your trust in the relationship, his lack of trust will surely make you sad.

7. His Distrust May Be A Result Of His Own Actions

Extreme jealousy may be a symptom of your boyfriend’s infidelity in the relationship. Guilty minds blame others. If your boyfriend has not been faithful in the relationship, his guilt may lead him to accusing you of cheating as well.

8. Extreme Jealousy Is A Sign Of A Much Bigger Problem

Extreme jealousy comes from a place of insecurity, not love! Insecurity is deep-rooted and goes far beyond a current relationship. A man whose insecurity leads to jealousy may feel like he’s not handsome enough, muscular enough, or intelligent enough. These aren’t things that you can fix for your boyfriend. Self-confidence starts and ends with yourself. So, unless your boyfriend makes an effort to resolve his insecurity issues on his own, they’ll continue to plague your relationship.

It’s difficult to date someone who is very insecure because they need constant reassurance. You will be expected to make them feel secure. But, if you’re not doing anything wrong, how can you make your boyfriend feel secure in the relationship? Just know that you won’t be able to solve your boyfriend’s insecurity for him.

9. He May Become Controlling

Extreme jealousy due to insecurity could also manifest itself as a controlling nature. An extremely insecure and jealous boyfriend will want to know what you’re doing and who you’re with at all times. He also may try to control or limit your interactions with friends and family altogether.

Obviously, if you’re actually cheating on your boyfriend, then jealousy and insecurity is reasonable and expected. But, if you’re not cheating on your boyfriend and he regularly exhibits jealous behavior, you need to have a conversation about where the jealousy is coming from and how he can resolve those issues so the two of you can have a happy relationship. If he still continues with his jealous antics, it’s time to run for the hills!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Do You Only Get One Soulmate?

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At some point in your life, you’ve probably heard a woman say that she’s met “the one” or her boyfriend is her soulmate, but do you only get one soulmate in your lifetime?

With roughly 7 billion people in the world, the idea of only having one soulmate is truly outdated, especially when you consider the fact that the internet and technology has brought the world so much closer together. Today, there’s more opportunities than ever to meet new people. 

After going on countless unsuccessful dates, you may start wondering whether you overlooked or wrote off your soulmate in the past. And, being single for an extended period of time can make you question whether you made the wrong choice in ending certain relationships. Then, you might think you should double back to one of your exes because maybe, just maybe, he was actually “the one.”

But, if your long-term single status is the reason why you start to consider re-dating ex-boyfriends, your energy would be better spent meeting new people. 

When the “pickings are slim,” you can’t start convincing yourself that you already dated your soulmate and there’s no one else out there for you. You may not have a ton of great, compatible men lined up for dates, but you don’t need several great matches banging your door down. You just need one. After all, you can only marry one person.

If you’re interested in finding out how to leave a relationship so that you can live a regret-free dating life, check out my post No More Boomeranging. 

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Having A Boyfriend or Husband Won’t Bring You Happiness

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The pursuit of happiness… It’s something that everyone wants, but not everyone gets. But, what exactly is happiness? Is happiness for you the same as happiness for me? The truth is, happiness is subjective and only you can define it for yourself.

If you ask women what will make them happy, many will tell you “a boyfriend” “a husband” or “kids.” But, the reality is, having a boyfriend, a husband, or children will not make you happy.

You have to find a way to be happy with yourself first and foremost. If you can’t be happy as a single woman, there’s no way another human being can change that! A person cannot create happiness for you and having a person to call your boyfriend won’t accomplish this either. You have to look to yourself.

There is an upside here though. Happiness attracts more happiness. Have you heard the saying, “positivity attracts positivity?” When you’re positive, you will bring more positivity and positive people into your life. However, when you’re negative, you’ll attract more negativity and even negative people into your life. Well, it’s the same concept with happiness.

Remember, people can sense happiness, but they can also sense sadness, insecurity, and low self-confidence. If you’re unhappy in your life, you’re going to attract other unhappy people. And, when you’re truly happy, you’ll find that other positive things will follow from that.

I can say pretty confidently that the type of man you probably want to date wouldn’t want to date an unhappy woman. So, in finding your true happiness, you’ll really be in the best position to attract the type of man you actually want. Do the digging, do the soul-searching, do whatever needs to be done to find your happiness.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo credit: Image courtesy of Nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

10 Factors That Affect How Long It Takes To Get Over A Relationship

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We all know that break ups aren’t easy. But, how long should it take you to get over your boyfriend or girlfriend? Traditionally, people have said that it takes you half of the amount of time you were in the relationship to get over it. For example, if you were dating a man for one year, it could take you up to six months to get over him.

While this “healing timeline” has frequently been proven to be true, there are different factors that could decrease or increase the length of time it will take you to get over a boyfriend. Here are 10 factors that can increase the time it takes you to get over a relationship:

1. You Live Together 

If you live with your boyfriend, but neither of you can immediately move out, this will definitely lengthen the amount of time it will take to get over the relationship.

2. You’re Still Connected On Facebook or Other Social Media

It might make you feel a little better if you saw your ex-boyfriend posting depressing status updates on Facebook, but that usually never happens! Most people will only post positive and happy things about themselves on Facebook.

So, when you see your boyfriend living this uber happy life after your break up, this may add insult to injury and slow you down on the road to break up recovery.

3. You Share A Car 

If you share a car with your partner, the stress of being without a car could prolong the healing process. If your ex isn’t willing to help you out a little while you make arrangements to get another car this could especially add feelings of bitterness to the emotions you’re already dealing with. 

4. You Share A Pet

If you co-own a pet and are on the losing end when the relationship ends, the loss of your pet could also affect your ability to quickly heal from the break up.

5. Your Families Are Friends

If your family is friends with your ex’s family, this could definitely make getting over your ex very difficult. From the run-ins at get togethers or holiday events to the questions each side of the family may ask, this inability to fully separate can impede your progress.

6. You’re Close With His Mother

If you have a close relationship with your boyfriend’s mother, getting over your boyfriend will be extremely difficult if you don’t break up with his mother too.

7. You Try To “Be Friends” Immediately After The Break Up

Trying to be friends with an ex usually doesn’t work, but it especially won’t work if you try to make the friendship happen immediately after the break up. Your new “friendship” may be more like a crutch and will just keep you from what inevitably needs to happen: you getting over the relationship.

8. You Hang Out With Your Ex’s Friends

During the course of your relationship, you probably became pretty cool with some of your boyfriend’s friends. But, trying to hang out and stay friends with them will only hold you back.

9. You Watch Sad or Romantic Movies

Watching sad or romantic movies will not help you get over your ex. In fact, you may wallow in your sadness even more. Hold off on the tear-jerkers and unrealistic romantic movies until you’re in a better mental place.

10. You Work With Your Ex

It’s hard enough to deal with a break up, but now you have to go to work everyday with your ex? This is definitely a toughie! Working with your ex will be a constant reminder of the relationship. It’s unavoidable, but mental preparation may ease some of the discomfort. 

You’re never going to get over an ex overnight, but you can reduce the amount of factors that will prolong your recuperation from the break up. 

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

I created the poll below to survey my readers on how long it takes you to get over a one-year relationship. Choose your answer and click vote. It’s easy and anonymous! You can see the poll results once you submit your answer.

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Tuelekza at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5 Things You Should Do When You Start A New Relationship

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While a new relationship can be very exciting, there is some housekeeping that you need to make sure is taken care of. So, remember these 5 things you should do after you start a new relationship:

 1. Delete Online Dating Profiles

When you start a new relationship, you stop going on your online dating websites, but do you delete your online dating profile and account? What if your new boyfriend or someone who knows you and your boyfriend sees your profile and wrongly assumes that you are still active on the dating site?

You can definitely give the wrong impression by keeping an online dating profile while you’re in a relationship. It’s not enough to just stop going on a dating site, show your relationship the respect it deserves and delete your online dating profiles!

2. Delete Unnecessary Phone Numbers

Once you’ve started your blissful new relationship, it’s important that you delete your ex’s phone number and your hook up buddy’s phone number. You’re in a new relationship now so you don’t need these numbers anymore, let them go!

3. Delete Unnecessary Social Media “Friends”

Just like you need to get rid of the phone numbers you should no longer have, you also need to unfriend, unfollow, and disconnect with your exes and hook up buddies on all your social media. This includes every ex and any other guy you know you shouldn’t be talking to!

If you respect your relationship and genuinely want to have a future with the man you’re dating, then separate yourself from your exes and hook up buddies on Facebook and all your other social media.

4. Tell Your Friends & Family

Share the great news of your new relationship with your family and friends. The people closest to you shouldn’t have to learn about your new relationship months down the line or find out through Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

You especially need to tell your friends you’re in a new relationship if they’re known for trying to set you up on dates. You don’t want your friends disrespecting your new boyfriend by trying to set you up with someone else.

So, don’t just run off into the night with your new relationship, show your family and friends that you still care by keeping them in the loop!

5. Say Goodbye

Once you start a new relationship, it’s time to say goodbye to your bad single girl habits. For example, it’s no longer okay for you to spend every weekend at “the club.” Of course, you can still go out to a club every once in a while with your friends, but you can’t make a habit of this.

Don’t let the excitement of your new relationship keep you from “cleaning house.” It would be a shame if one of these 5 things created an unnecessary problem with your new boyfriend. 

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Photo Credit: Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dee’s Dating Diary Makes Top 100 Dating Experts!

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I’m excited to share that Dee’s Dating Diary came in at #40 on The SW Expert’s list of the top 100 dating experts to follow. With dating experts like Patti Stanger, The Millionaire Matchmaker, and Paul C. Brunson on this list, I am truly honored to be recognized by The SW Experts.

Check out the full list of dating experts to follow here: 100 Dating Experts you MUST follow on Twitter

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

8 Tips For Keeping Your Office Romance Professional

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8 Tips For Keeping Your Office Romance Professional

Office romances can definitely get messy, but if you follow my 8 tips for keeping your office romance professional, you can have your cake and eat it too! This is the ultimate office romance survival guide! I wrote this article for the SW Experts and you can check it out here: 8 Tips For Keeping Your Office Romance Professional.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Testimonial: My Boyfriend Wasn’t Worth My Time

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Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hey Dee,

I just want to thank you for being so helpful to me through this big mess of a situation. I didn’t exactly have anyone to talk to, so thank you so much for being there. I also wanted to make an update of how things are going because I feel it could be helpful information to other girls who have also experienced the unfortunate phenomenon of the disappearing boyfriend, and I have so much advice to them from my experience.

Being in the middle of a disappearing man act is really a confusing time full of feelings of rejection and neglect, but, the thing is, its like this only when you make it. If you look at it like you said, “Is this really a man you want to be in a relationship with?” It is so much easier to realize you actually have no loss. I realize in hindsight that he really wasn’t all that great and really didn’t treat me all that great either (obviously if he could abandon me, period). I see all the red flags I blindly ignored in the beginning of the relationship, and if I had listened it would have saved me a lot of heartache.

I’ve learned that you should never ever let a man jeopardize your happiness, and to never stay in a bad relationship. Losing someone who ultimately wasn’t worth my time has empowered me as a person, and as a woman. I have so much confidence in every aspect of my self, all because I know I’m worth it.

To the women who have experienced the disappearing man, you don’t and shouldn’t want them back because you deserve a man who wants to be consistently present in your life and you are indeed worth it!

As for me, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life because the man who wasn’t worth my time made it easy for me and left. I’m getting out there and meeting all sorts of people and cute guys, and experiencing all sorts of new things I couldn’t do with him. I’ve noticed how much I’ve missed out on in that relationship and wouldn’t for the life of me ever go back to it!

I hope my story can help other women in my situation. My advice to them would be to never let someone else’s treatment of you define your worth. And also to remember you have a choice in who you date, so drop them the second they mistreat you.

Thanks so much for your help Dee! Your advice has made me realize all this, and will help me out so much in my future relationships! Like you said “it’s not easy to see the rainbow when you’re in the storm,” I’m definitely seeing the rainbow now.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Related Post: 

Is Your Boyfriend Worth Your Time?

8 Signs You’re Dating A Needy Guy

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 Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

For some women, the ideal man would want to spend as much time as possible with the woman he is dating. But, there’s a fine line between wanting to spend a lot of time together and just being flat out needy.

There are definitely red flags that show you a man is needy or clingy, but it’s up to you to take these red flags seriously. So, the next time you meet someone new, remember these 8 Signs That You’re Dating A Needy Guy:

1. He Calls You Several Times A Day

We all know that most men try to play it cool when they first meet a woman. They don’t get a number and immediately call it an hour later. They let the anticipation build a little, but the man who is perfectly fine with calling you several times a day after you just met is the man you need to stop seeing.

Couples that have been dating for a while talk to each other several times a day. But, there’s no reason for someone you haven’t even known for more than a few days or weeks to call you repeatedly throughout the day. And, if a man has nothing to really tell you, then why would he need to speak to you so often in the day? Because he’s needy and this is exactly who needs to be crossed off your potential match list! 

2. He Calls You Back to Back

If the guy you’re dating calls you back to back if you don’t pick up the phone, this is a huge red flag that you’re dating a needy guy. Unless there’s an emergency or you’re really close with someone, it’s not okay to blow up a person’s phone when they don’t answer it. When the guy you’re dating is comfortable enough to call you 3 or 4 times in a day with nothing important to tell you, he may eventually be comfortable enough to stalk you too!

 Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. He Texts You All Day

If a guy you just met texts you all day, this is definitely a red flag. We all know how easy it is to let a text conversation drag on throughout the entire day, but when you’re dating someone new and have nothing of substance to say, it doesn’t make sense to text all day.

4. He Always Wants To Know What You’re Doing or Who You’re With

If you’re constantly being asked, “what are you doing” or “who are you with,” you probably need to steer clear of this guy altogether. Not only are these red flags that your guy is needy, but they are also red flags that your new guy may be jealous, insecure, controlling, or all of the above.

Also, there’s a difference between someone asking “what are you doing” in trying to make conversation and asking that question because they have to know the answer to it. It’s up to you as the woman to be able to decipher the difference. So, pay attention to how often you’re being asked who you are with or what you are doing AND the way it’s being asked. This way, you can avoid an unhealthy relationship early on!

 Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5. He Always Wants To Be With You

If you’ve been dating a guy for a very short period of time, but he already wants to spend every second of every day with you, be careful because this is a serious red flag! This particular type of needy guy wants to spend so much time with you that he’s willing to invite himself out with you and “the girls,” and that’s a big problem.

Wanting to spend all of your time with someone so early on comes from a place of insecurity, whether it’s being insecure about losing a woman to another man or being insecure that a woman may lose interest if you’re not always around. This behavior could also indicate a jealous or controlling nature. Being with a man that requires this much attention will wear you out and strain your budding romance.

6. He Makes You Feel Guilty For Not Being With Him

A new guy that wants to spend every second with you is a problem, but a new guy that makes you feel bad for doing things without him is even worse. It’s pretty immature for a man to try to make you feel bad or give you a guilt trip about going out without him. In relationships, both people need a little room to breathe and live.

If you allow a man to suffocate you and let his insecurity make you feel guilty for going out to catch up with your friends or family, then you’re enabling the development of an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship. So, do yourself a favor and throw this fish back in the water.

 Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

7. He Needs Constant Reassurance

A man that constantly needs reassurance that you like him and want to date him is not the kind of man you really want to date. Of course, men do wonder what level of feelings a woman may have for him, but it’s a totally different ballgame if he’s continuously seeking validation from you.

Being with a man that requires this much pacifying is draining and ultimately hurts the possibility of having a great, healthy relationship. Remember, just because a man is insecure doesn’t mean it’s your job to make him feel secure!

8. He Wants To Be Exclusive After A Few Dates

Any man who is ready to be in an exclusive relationship with you after only a few dates, is definitely a man you MUST take your time with. It’s never a good idea to jump head first into a relationship without taking the necessary time to get to know a man.

As much as you may have “clicked” with your date, slow it down and don’t let a man pressure you into starting a relationship before you’re ready!

Now that you’re equipped with some more great dating knowledge, it’s time to get out there and date!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

More Red Flags For Your Enjoyment:

Red Flag: He Suddenly Always Has To Work Late

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

5 Red Flags Men Need To Watch For

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?

3 Ways Women Play The Victim When Dating

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Image courtesy of Sakhorn38 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Every woman wants a great relationship, but not every woman is willing to put in the necessary work to get there. Although dating can be tough, you can make it more difficult than it has to be. If you want to do better in dating, you’re going to have to get past these 3 Ways Women Play The Victim When Dating:

 1. Dating The Same Type of Men

Dating the same type of men and expecting different results is unrealistic. You set yourself up for failure by dating the same type of men if previous relationships with those kind of men have never worked out.

It’s all too easy to play the victim when you allow yourself to be hurt repetitively. Your friends will comfort you after you’ve been wronged or cheated on, but how many of your friends will tell you that you should have known these problems would come up because you knew the type of person this man was?

While friends want to be there for us after break ups and during fights in a relationship, friends can do you a disservice by not helping you see that you are enabling your own relationship and dating problems. Once you get out of the habit of picking the same kind of men to date, you’ll soon see that not every man will hurt you like your exes.  

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

2. Saying That ALL Men Are Dogs 

If you believe that “all men are dogs” or “all men cheat” then what will you accept from men? Cheating and bad behavior, right? When you think this way, you’ll allow yourself to date “dogs” and cheaters. You’ll settle for the wrong man because you believe that a good man doesn’t exist. You believe all men will treat you badly.

But, the worst thing you can do is convince yourself that all men are bad. In doing this, you’ll prevent yourself from meeting a good man and having a great relationship. This type of thinking allows you to date an unworthy man without taking responsibility for making this dating choice in the first place.

 As a woman, you have to know that your dating life is in YOUR hands. Don’t just choose to date the first man that comes along just because he is there. Be scrutinizing, use your best judgment, and don’t date men that you know are going to hurt you!  

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. Staying in Bad Relationships

When you know your relationship isn’t good for you, but you stay in it anyway, you’re basically setting yourself up to play the victim role. As much as you wish or pray, your relationship isn’t going to get better just because you want it to.

When you have serious problems in your relationship, those problems tend to play out in the relationship over and over. So, if you decide to stay in a bad relationship, you can’t act like a victim when those problems resurface.

We all know that saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!” So, if you’re going to stay in the wrong relationship, continue to date the same kind of men, or claim that all men are bad, you can’t act like a helpless victim when the obvious does happen.

Stop blaming men for your dating problems and take responsibility for the men you choose to date, then you’ll notice changes in the quality of your relationships.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee

Why Men Disappear Then Reappear – The Right to REAL Love Radio

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I guest starred on The Right to REAL Love Radio Show again and I’m so excited to share this episode with you! On this show, Jay Mayo and I discussed men who disappear from women’s lives and then reappear. From why men disappear and reappear to how woman should handle these situations, we cover it all!

This is definitely a topic you don’t want to miss! Listen to our discussion below and check out Jay Mayo’s page where he has some great extras for our listeners: The Right to REAL Love Radio Show: Why Men Disappear Then Reappear.

Enjoy,

Dee

P.S. Check out my first show on The Right to REAL Love Radio Show where host Jay Mayo and I dive into the topic Are You Treating Your Boyfriend Like Your Husband?

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

5 Ridiculous Reasons Men Give For Going MIA When Dating

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Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Almost every woman has at least one story about a man they were dating who didn’t return a call or text for an extended period of time. Some women have experienced a man going MIA for a day or two while others have seen men go MIA for weeks or months.

Regardless of the length of time a man is MIA though, the one thing they all have in common is that they make ridiculous excuses for their absences. There’s a ton of excuses men give in these situations, but here are 5 ridiculous reasons men give for going MIA when dating:

1.  “I Was Busy”

The “I was busy” excuse is definitely one of the most common reasons that men give for not being in contact with a woman. Yes, a lot of people have very busy lives, that’s true. But, the reality is, men make time for who they really want. It takes no more than a few seconds to send a text so there’s really no excuse for not responding to a person you’re dating for days or weeks.

Never let a man convince you that he is so busy that he can’t even take 10 seconds out of his day to reply to your text!

2. “I Lost My Phone”

“I lost my phone” or “I left my phone at a friend’s house” are also common excuses men use for being MIA. Think about this though, if you left your phone at your friend’s house, you certainly wouldn’t take more than a day to get it back if not just a few hours.

And, we are all so attached to our smartphones that if we did happen to lose it many of us wouldn’t go more than a day or two without replacing it. So, if you haven’t heard back from a man in a week or more, you definitely shouldn’t be entertaining the “I lost my phone” excuse.

But, let’s just say the guy you’re dating did really lose his phone. Well, there’s still so many different ways that a man can get in touch with you. You can send emails or use social media, like Facebook, to send messages.

There are plenty of options for getting in touch with a person so losing your phone is not a legitimate excuse for going MIA!

3. “I Never Got Your Call/Text”

Here’s an excuse some men use because it manipulates a woman into accepting a man’s bad behavior and allows him to escape responsibility for his actions, or lack thereof.

When a man tells you that he never got your call or text, he puts you in a position where you feel like you can’t be mad at him for not responding. You feel like you have to drop the issue and let it go. Because, technically, he didn’t have control over the situation since he didn’t get your call, voicemail, or text, right?

Wrong!! There’s one thing you need to remember, ladies. Even if a man claims that he didn’t get your call, text, or voicemail, there’s still no excuse for why he hasn’t reached out to you in days or weeks. If you’re dating a man and he is genuinely interested in you, he’s not going to go a week or more without talking to you or reaching out to you.

Know that a man who actually likes you will want to reach out and talk to you whether you call him first or not!

4. “I Had Meningitis” or “I Was In The Hospital”

Some men excuse their absences with reasons like, “I had meningitis” (or some other crazy illness) or “I was in the hospital.” If a man genuinely had an illness that incapacitated him for weeks or months, it’s definitely understandable that he may not have the strength or ability to talk to you frequently.

But, if a man really likes you, he isn’t going to get sick and not say a peep to you for weeks or months. You may be too weak or unable to talk, but you can definitely send a text or get a friend or family member to do it for you!

An ill man would still want the woman he cares about in his life!

5.  “I Did Text You Back”

Let’s get real, texts and voicemails aren’t getting lost in the digital stratosphere! As long as you are texting the correct phone number, the recipient is going to get it. Now, your text may not always go through immediately, but it’s definitely getting to it’s destination.

So, when a man you’re dating tells you that he did text you back or he left you a voicemail and you got absolutely nothing from him, know that this is a huge red flag!

I’d love to know, what’s the craziest excuses you’ve gotten for a man being MIA? Leave your comments below!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. 

Till Next Time,

Dee