No More Last Minute Dates!

Posted on February 2, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

More and more men seem to think it is okay to ask women out on a date with less than 30 minutes notice!

While I don’t agree with this, obviously there are enough women accepting these last minute dates or hang outs that men now feel comfortable and confident in doing this.

You Don’t KNOW Him

A man shouldn’t feel comfortable inviting himself to your place at the last minute.

Texting, “Hey, I’m in your neighborhood, can I come by” is not cool! Why didn’t he ask you if you wanted to hang out any earlier??

Well, it’s because he never planned on hanging out with you that night in the first place. If a man likes a woman and he actually wants to see her, he will try lock her down for a date long before the night of the date itself.

Truthfully, why on earth should a man that barely knows you feel confident enough to call you at 8pm on a Friday night to see you in an hour? It’s disrespectful in my opinion. I could have other plans or just be enjoying a night to myself.

If a man is calling or texting you at night to see you that night, this should be a huge red flag to you!!

Disclaimer: This definitely doesn’t apply once you’ve been dating for awhile or are exclusive with each other. This only applies to the beginning stages of dating.

Time to Primp & Pamper

Why aren’t you worth him putting some forethought into asking you out? Why don’t you deserve the respect of having, at a minimum, 24 hours notice before a date?

You deserve to have time to take a shower, make your hair look fabulous, pick the perfect outfit, and do your make up flawlessly! Every woman should be able to primp and pamper herself to the extent that she likes before any date.

You deserve a man that wants to plan out a date more than just a few hours in advance. Of course, once you’ve been on several dates spontaneity will be a great thing!

But, first, he has to show you that he does have respect for you in every sense of the word. And this includes, understanding that your personal free time is precious and that other people want it too.

Respect

Remember, your time is valuable regardless of whether you are spending it watching Housewives, hiking up a mountain, or simply blogging. And, he needs to know that as well.

A man will respect you more if you set boundaries for yourself. If you act like you can be walked all over and used like a rag doll, you will be. Show a man that he needs to treat you with respect if you aren’t getting it from the start.

If a man calls or texts you at the last minute and actually gets to see you, he will think you are easy and definitely won’t put any more effort into getting to know you, let alone give you much more notice for future dates.

He surely won’t respect you.

Last Minute = Last Choice

Most of the time, if a man is trying to see you at the last minute, you were his last option.

I know every woman in this world wants a man that looks at her like his first, most preferable option. No woman wants to be a man’s back up or last resort!

If you can’t be honest enough with yourself to admit that, then you definitely are not ready to change those things that may be holding you back in your dating life.

Yesterday, I had a male guest on my podcast and when we discussed last minute dates, he said something that really resonated with me. He said, “Last minute equals last choice!” This is straight from the horses mouth ladies!

Don’t Answer Your Phone on Friday and Saturday Nights

Obviously, if you’re getting a call or text on Friday or Saturday night you weren’t nearly at the top of a man’s mind.

If you just recently met, a man doesn’t actually KNOW you and should think you are busy having fun with friends or whoever on your weekend.

Even if you aren’t out with friends or on dates, maybe you’re busy with hobbies, elevating your career, blogging, or podcasting!

Either way, don’t answer his call or respond to his text. Why? Because you’re out living your life, hanging out with your friends, or just enjoying your “me time.”

By doing this and not accepting last minute dates, you will let him know that if he wants to see you he will actually have to ask to see you in advance.

No one wants to be that girl that all the guys know will answer her phone at 10pm on a Friday or Saturday night.

Return His Call or Text Later

Please don’t think I’m asking you to ignore a man’s communication altogether, I’m not saying that.

You can return his call or text hours later or the next morning and let him know you were out or busy. Keep it vague, you barely know this guy and he doesn’t need to know your every last movement despite your yearning to tell him.

For those who may see this as lying or being dishonest, I think you should really be looking at it more as holding yourself back and not giving yourself wholly and completely to someone upfront. Take time to let someone get to know you.

The Rules Book

Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, authors of The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing The Heart of Mr. Right, say that you should never accept a date for Friday or Saturday night after Wednesday.

I like this rule, but, I tweaked it. I believe that you can accept a weekend date if you’re asked by Thursday, but it depends on how much genuine interest the man has shown.

If you feel like he’s a good guy and is showing real interest in you, you can accept a weekend date if he asks on Thursday.

However, if you’re already getting the feeling that this guy might be a player or he’s “running game on you,” don’t make exceptions to this rule.

How It Works

Most of the time, by the second or third time you turn a man down for a last minute date, he will start asking you out in advance!

For the men that don’t… Well, they weren’t interested in anything serious in the first place and were just looking for some easy play.

And to these men, wish them adieu because that’s not what you’re looking for and they were never going to give you the respect you deserved anyway!

You Want More?

To hear the full discussion on this topic and hear the male perspective for yourself, check out my podcast! It’s Dee’s Dating Diary Podcast or download the episode here: Download episode

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Entry 6: Where Has Courtship Gone?? Pt.2

Posted on February 1, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

One of the reasons that courtship is nearly extinct is because women have made it way too easy for men. There are several ways that women make themselves too available to men and, ultimately, help promote men’s lack of effort in dating and courting women.

Unfortunately, it’s going to take a collective effort from women to get the change we want from men as a whole. One woman alone, can’t inspire the change we want in men as a whole.

There’s several different things we can do as women to start getting men to put effort into dating and courting us. The underlying concept in each point is that women have to be less available to men in the early stages of dating.

For this post, we will just discuss one point, answering every phone call you get from a man.

Answering Every Phone Call

For some reason, we seem to feel that if our phone rings and we see the call, we MUST pick up the phone. Well, this is the exact opposite of what should happen when you first start dating someone.

You should never be so available to a man you just started dating that you answer every single phone call he makes regardless of whether you are busy or just sitting on the couch.

Compulsion to Answer Your Phone

I know we naturally feel some sort of compulsion to answer a man’s phone call as if we would never hear from him again if we didn’t answer, but that’s actually not the case.

What happens when you call a guy you’re dating and he doesn’t pick up the phone and call you back right away? Do you not think about him constantly until he finally calls you back? Do you not wonder what he is doing? Do you not stress about whether he saw your call and ignored it or if he is legitimately busy?

Well, the same questions run across a man’s mind when you don’t pick up his phone call and call him back right away.

It’s good to let a man think about you and wonder what you’re doing. He may actually think about you more if you don’t pick up his call than if you answer his call, talk to him for 15 minutes, and don’t speak for another day or so.

Develop An Attachment

I personally think that forcing a man to think about you, by not answering his every phone call, helps him slowly develop an attachment to you.

Don’t you find that the men you think about the most are the same men you desire the most and feel the strongest about? Interesting huh!

The more you think about someone or something, the more you get attached to it (or the idea of it). Therefore, by forcing a man to think about you more than he normally would, you are essentially forcing him to start developing an attachment to you.

Force Him to Think About You

From my experience, I can truthfully say that I thought about a man a whole lot more when he didn’t answer my call, even if he was someone I knew I didn’t want to pursue dating.

When guys didn’t pick up some of my friends phone calls, they would say stuff like, “Wow, I can’t believe this fool didn’t pick up my call and I was willing to spend my Saturday with him as lame as he is!”

So, my point is, whether you are even interested in a man or not, when he doesn’t answer your call you WILL think about him. So, make the guy you’re dating think about you; whether he wants to or not!

Disclaimer: When I say don’t answer every phone call, I do not mean don’t return his call at all. You definitely need to return his call, just wait a few hours. But, never wait more than 24 hours to return a phone call.

Look Like You Have a Life

It’s also a good thing to miss a phone call here and there so you don’t come off as having no kind of life whatsoever.

The truth is, men want a woman that other people want. They want a woman that people like, that people want to hang out with, that people desire. If no one wants to talk to you or see you, why would a man?

What kind of men do you tend to want the most? Is it the guy that you think is a couch potato who seems to have no friends and no life or is it the guy that seems to have an exciting life and friends that love him and can’t get enough of his time?

Well, this is my point. A man wants a woman that looks like she’s enjoying her life. He doesn’t want a woman that he thinks he will have to create a life for or include her in everything he does.

Perception is Reality

Whether your life is exciting, fulfilled, or boring, PERCEPTION IS REALITY. How a man perceives you is what he will believe you are, whether his perception is accurate or not.

And a man’s perception of you will guide his decision to date you, put effort into getting to know you, pursue something serious with you, or just make you a “late night creep” option.

So, you definitely want a man to THINK that you have a life and friends, even if you don’t.

Obviously, after a while of dating, a man will learn who you really are, but hopefully by that point he likes you or has fallen for you so that the fact that you have no friends and are just a couch potato won’t be a deal breaker for him.

You Want More?

For the full conversation on this topic, check out my podcast! Dee’s Dating Diary Podcast or download the episode here: Download episode

Stay tuned this upcoming week as I bring you more tips on how women can bring courtship back!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

You Don’t Deserve a Good Man…Yet!!

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

A lot of women put off working on themselves because they feel like “Well, if I’m not in a relationship, what’s the point?” “Who am I working on myself for?”

Well the answer to that question is YOU!

Are You a Good Woman?

Every woman wants a good man, but let’s face it: A good man deserves a good woman, period!

Get yourself together now so that when you’re ready to take that big step, a good man will be ready to take it with you!

Self-Defeating Behavior

We have to stop saying things like, “Well, it’s obvious this guy doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship with me so why should I change myself??” Or “I’m not looking for anything serious, I just want to date and have fun!”

Well, when you’re done having all that fun, those habits you’ve developed and ingrained into your way of life may be the same habits that keep you from finding and keeping a good man.

If your not interested in fixing your faults or bad habits because you’re not in a relationship or whatever the excuse, here is your reality check:

You still need to work on yourself because bad habits are hard to break and if you don’t start at least trying and practicing now, there’s not much of a chance that you’ll change years down the line!

Practice, Practice, Practice!

Ladies, we all know that it’s hardest to play it cool or follow “the rules” when you are REALLY into a man or have already categorized him as “the one.”

So, you really need to practice not doing those bad habits that get you labeled as “the stalker,”or the “crazy girl” or whatever your kryptonite is. Once you’ve been practicing for awhile, it won’t be as hard to stop yourself from doing those things you know you shouldn’t do.

There’s no need to fall apart and moan about everything you think you are not. Instead, focus on becoming the person that you yourself would want to date.

While some women are aware of the flaws and bad habits that hinder them in the dating world, many women are not. Either way, we all need to continuously work on ourselves for the better.

What is Working on Yourself?

When I say “work on ourselves,” I mean we need to do some serious introspective evaluations to determine what our bad habits or flaws are and better understand those characteristics that are holding us back in dating, love and life in general.

Perhaps, you’re extremely needy and clingy, or overly distant. Or, your first dates with men are more like interviews or interrogations more so than actual dates.

Do your insecurities or lack of self-esteem lead to you chasing men away with your jealousy or constant need for reassurance and attention?

Maybe you consciously or unconsciously let men know that you are ready to settle down and have kids like yesterday! Regardless of whether a man is actively looking for marriage, kids, and the whole shebang, you can scare him off by putting marriage and kids on the table on the first few dates. This reeks desperation!

Whatever your flaws may be, you yourself need to know what they are! That’s the only way you’ll be able to work on changing them or learn how to downplay them so they don’t negatively affect your life.

Not Everything Can Be Changed

Now, I realize that not every character flaw or bad habit can necessarily be changed, but it can be downplayed! And, for the habits that can be changed, why not change them?

Regardless of whether you’re casually dating, dating the wrong man, or not dating at all, you have to work on yourself!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Related Articles You May Like

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21 Pieces Of Relationship “Advice” You Should Always Ignore

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Plenty of these “tips” should be ignored!!! My favorite was “You can’t expect [insert act of basic human decency here] from men. They’re hopeless.”

This is hilarious! Why shouldn’t we expect basic human decency from men?? It’s time to stop cutting men so much slack that they can get away with having no human decency! Great post! Thanks for the laughs!

Access the full article here: 21 Pieces of Relationship Advice you Should Always Ignore

Focusing on the Process not the Dating Outcomes

Posted on January 29, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

It really is time to start slowing down the dating process and enjoying the ride instead of making it a long term examination that a man has to pass.

Coach Suzie

Focusing on the Process NOT the Dating Outcomes

I don’t know about you, but often times I get caught up in the looking at the finish line that I don’t even notice anything else that’s going on around me. I’m like that a lot in everything I do, I just want to get to my goal as fast as I can. I’ve also noticed that in my personal life as well. I sometimes am so focused on the finish line, getting where I want to be that forget to stop and smell the roses and just “be” where I’m at. I’m not the only one. Most people are like that.

It took me a while to realize that. It was one of the main reasons that I married the wrong person way back when. I was so focused on being “the bride” and fitting into the “box” that I turned a blind eye to many red flags. The…

View original post 671 more words

Are You Dating a Player? Some Red Flags …

Posted on January 29, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

There are so many red flags men exhibit that us women tend to ignore in the beginning stages of dating (and well into the relationships until they become serious problems).

I think we have all been guilty of ignoring or rationalizing away red flags at some point or another in order to feel comfortable continuing to date the wrong man. The more we acknowledge the red flags, the more we can consciously avoid them. This is a great post!!

Check out my podcast to hear some more red flags you can watch for: Dee’s Dating Diary Podcast

Coach Suzie

There are 23 Red Flags That You’re Dating A Player.

Do You Know Them All?

Here Are Just a Few of Them …

You Have Never Met Any of His Friends.

This is the first serious give away that you’re being played. When a man is serious about his new woman, and is proud to be with her, he will take her everywhere he can, to show her off to his friends. Men are very competitive by nature, so it’s in his DNA to want to brag to his friends and show off his “new girl.”

Wait a few weeks to see what he does. In the first few weeks of a relationship, especially if it’s a whirlwind romance, you two are going to be in such a deep infatuation stage that you won’t come up for air for a while.
Once you’ve been dating a few weeks, see if…

View original post 647 more words

Biggest Mistakes Betrayed Spouses Make Recovering From an Affair

Posted on January 28, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Great post!!!

Affair Resources and Advice

This blog entry is on mistakes that Betrayed Spouses routinely make during marital recovery. Blunders and errors of judgment that make it unlikely that a marriage will not only survive an affair.. I wrote it after reading blog after blog by Betrayed Spouses who seem to be doing all in their power to sabotage marital recovery and don’t realize it. From my reading, thought and research, I came up with what I think are 21 things to avoid if you want your marriage to survive and thrive after an affair.

View original post 3,649 more words

Why Do We Cheat?

Posted on January 27, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

I agree that the reasons for cheating are not necessarily one size fits all. There are definitely various different reasons why people cheat. Check out this article to learn why men cheat.

Affair Resources and Advice

Sexual infidelity is one of humanity’s great obsessions, perhaps second only to violence. We abhor it, yet we want to hear all about it. We love the topic. It’s on the news, the web, movies, and on TV. We can’t get enough of it. But while we often get the details of “who” the infidelity involves and “how” it was carried off, the question of “why” is the most vexing.

View original post 3,332 more words

Entry 5: Be the Woman he Wants to Conquer: Courtship, Where has it Gone?? Pt. 1

Posted on January 25, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Where has Courtship Really Gone??

The reality is, men don’t want a woman that is 100% available to them when they first meet and in the early dating stages. Men really do love to chase a woman. But why is courtship nearly extinct?

So many women are giving away their cookies for, pretty much, nothing and making it extremely easy for men to use and discard them.

Majority of the time, the man hasn’t taken the women out and courted her the way that he should, and he hasn’t even agreed to be in an exclusive relationship with the woman.

But, us women devalue ourselves, feeling that it’s okay that the guy doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship with us or that he wants to continue dating other people and still see you!

Or if he refuses to put legitimate effort into dating and courting you, you rationalize it by saying, “Well he’s paying back a lot of student loans.”

Or ” he’s starting his own business so he doesn’t have much spending money” or maybe you said the time old “he just doesn’t make much money, so I can’t expect him to use any money to take me out.”

But the truth is, you want a man that feels strongly enough about you that he’ll let his money get a little tight just to put a smile on your face.

Once we devalue ourselves, so do men. We have to show men that we will not give up our cookies and treat them like a boyfriend or husband when they can’t even go out of their way to do the standard courteous things a man is supposed to do for a woman he just starts to date.

Men have it all now a days. They can have their cake and eat it too! They can sleep with as many women as they want and have each and every one of those women catering to the man and doing for him, basically, what a girlfriend or wife does for her man.

Women outnumber men and because we feel that scarcity of the availability of “good men” or just men period, we compromise every last thing we want in a man and in a relationship just so we can finally say that we have a “boyfriend” or “husband.”

So what do we do about this dating dilemma that plagues our society?

Well, we as women have to get it together as a whole. It’s hard to get respect as one woman when every other woman allows themselves to be disrespected or taken advantage of by men.

Its almost like the standard is that most men WILL disrespect you in some way when you’re first dating!

And you, as the woman, have to let him know that you will not tolerate being disrespected. This way you get the respect that you rightfully deserve!

So, if us women could come together and collectively decide that we will not allow any men to treat us with anything less than respect and courtesy, then men as a whole will start to treat us more respectively.

But, we ALL have to put our foot down. If many of us still allow men to disrespect us, take advantage us, or make us “the other women,” then men will glady accept that and continue to expect that from many of us!!

For more on this subject and to hear the male perspective on this topic, please tune into my podcast at http://www.deesdatingdiary.podomatic.com or you can download this episode here: Download episode

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Perfect Place to Meet Men!

Posted on January 21, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When talking about how to meet new men, I always think about this one story I heard growing up:

There’s this woman who REALLY wants a good man to come into her life!! So everyday she gets down on her knees and prays to God, “God, please bring a good man into my life!!”

But after months and years of praying she starts to feel like God DOESN’T want to answer her prayers. So she prays even harder, “God PLEASE bring a good man into my life, I’m a good person!! Why won’t you bring me a good man???”

And all of a sudden, God spoke to her and said, “How can I bring you a good man if you never leave your home???”

I don’t know why I always think of this story when the subject is how to meet men, but I do think the story makes a good point that, ultimately, you have to continue to put yourself out there.

Because once you give up on putting yourself out there, you’ve given up on that possibility of a good man coming into your life.

A great thing you could try to do to meet good men is to start volunteering. You’ll start to see that there are good men out there in this world.

Maybe you’ll find your next love while you’re getting sweaty building a house. And you might even snag a secret millionaire who loves to give back!!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Entry 4: Phone Etiquette Pt. 3- Sexting!!

Posted on January 18, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Sexting is basically when you take sexy or sexually explicit photos of yourself and send them to other people by text or email. Is this idea of sending risqué or sexy photos a new phenomena? Not at all!!!

So, how did adults and young teens exchange pictures in the past? Richard Chalfen, the author of “‘It’s only a picture’: sexting, ‘smutty’ snapshots and felony charges,” says that young couples actually used to swap pictures of themselves in skimpy swimsuits through regular mail.

And do you remember the polaroid camera people?? We’ve all taken a selfie with a polaroid camera at some point in our lives (not necessarily a nude one). Well, I guess that’s if you were alive when the polaroid camera was hot!

Chalfen also said that polaroid cameras encouraged the exchange of “risqué” pictures because couples did not have to face any embarrassment from going to the corner drugstore to develop their pictures and possibly face punishment from law enforcement!!

Then, when the camcorder emerged, it was just another median for sexually explicit purposes. With the technological advancement of cell phones having digital cameras, sexting is really just the latest chapter in this Saga as Chalfen puts it.

Now that I understand the history behind the sharing of sexual pictures, I definitely agree with Chalfen that most people rarely see sexting as just another case of technology extending an activity or action that young people have engaged in for years.

Our generation has to raise kids in this technologically advanced era and what does this mean for us? Unfortunately, it means we can no longer just have the “sex” talk with our kids. We also have to have the “sexting” talk now too just to make sure our kids won’t destroy their future with nude pictures before their careers even start!

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy said that 71% of teen girls and 67% of teen boys admitted to sending or posting sexually suggestive content to a boyfriend or girlfriend. That sounds like a lot to me!

But obviously we know that some boy is receiving each girls sext, so why don’t these numbers match each other? Why are teen girls willing to admit to sexting more than the boys are? Just some interesting food for thought for you.

For the full conversation on sexting, download this episode now: Sexting

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Food For Thought: Text Flirting

Posted on January 12, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Atibodyphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“When is it okay to text flirt without looking like you’re trying to give up the cookie early?”

When you flirt in a text message, you can’t be as subtle as you normally would be when flirting on the phone or in person. This is because your tone of voice, body language, and other subtleties aren’t conveyed in text messages.

Flirting In General

Flirting on the phone can be as a simple as answering a question in a more seductive or sexy voice. Flirting in person requires even less overtness because you can use your body language to flirt and show interest in a man without having to do much at all.

For example, orienting your body towards his by crossing your legs in his direction or sitting more closely to him is a subtle form of flirting that lets a man know that you’re interested in him or what he is saying without much effort on your part.

These kind of subtle cues allow us to exhibit a light, flirty side without coming off as being just interested in sex.

Flirting in Text Messages

Flirting can come in the simple form of body language, tone of voice, or through a play on words. However, when flirting takes place through text messaging, you have to be much more straight forward, suggestive, and blatant about your flirting so that it can actually come across as flirting to the recipient of the text.

This does pose a problem though, because now you have to figure out how to balance your desire to convey your flirting with your desire to not look like you are just about sex. When you text flirt, it is a lot easier to look overly sexified and seem like just a sex object to a man.

Unfortunately, once a man categorizes you into the “just sex” box, you literally will be just the girl he has sex with. While there are exceptions to the rule that once you’re labeled as just a girl to have sex with, that’s all you will ever be to him, we can’t all be the exception to the rule!

My Answer

Considering how easy it is to be labeled as just a sex object in general by man, it is very important that we wait a reasonable amount of time before engaging in text flirting with men.

In my personal opinion, I think women should hold off on text flirting with a man until at least after the third or fourth date.

Remember though, this doesn’t mean you can’t subtly flirt on the phone or in person. Just make sure that your flirting isn’t too sexified and over the top so that you can maintain respect in his eyes.

An effortless, but seductive batting of the eyes can even go a long way in showing your flirty side without the negative consequence of being labeled as just a sex object.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Podcast

If you want to hear more about texting as it relates to dating and relationships, check out my podcast at http://www.deesdatingdiary.podomatic.com

Entry 3: Phone Etiquette Pt.2- Texting

Posted on January 11, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Unfortunately, with the advances of technology and the invention of text messages, a lot of men are now texting women instead of calling them, but what is acceptable texting behavior?

Listen to my podcast to get the answers you’re looking for!!

For the full dialogue on texting etiquette and more, check out my podcast by clicking on the link below or you can download this episode right here: Download episode

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Entry 2: Phone Etiquette Pt. 1- Calling

Posted on January 5, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Your behavior in the first stages of dating, specifically your phone etiquette, is especially important because it allows people to learn more about you without you having to say it yourself. Be careful, because the person you are calling may be learning more about you than you really want them to know.

Calling someone too much can make you look needy, desperate, or dependent. Calling a man out of boredom, insecurity, or neediness is ESPECIALLY bad if you really don’t have anything to say. And trust me, men can tell when you have absolutely nothing to say and are just calling to call.

Let the man take the lead with calling you so that you can actually see his true level of interest in you. Maybe he’ll only call you Saturday nights at midnight, I don’t know. But, if you don’t let him show you, you’ll never know either.

Check out my podcast to hear the full conversation on this topic. You can access my podcast at http://www.deesdatingdiary.podomatic.com or you can download this episode right here: Download episode.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till next time,

Dee

Entry 1: Getting Advice From Friends & Family

Posted on December 30, 2013 by Dee's Dating Diary

Getting advice about dating and relationships from friends and family can be a sticky situation at times. You want to believe that they have your best interest at heart, but truthfully, sometimes their own experiences or hardships in dating can have a negative effect on the quality of advice that they give.

From my experience, there are four basic types of “woman advisors,” as I like to call them. Three of these woman advisors must be avoided at all costs! Don’t worry, I’ll briefly explain each kind.

1. The Bitter Belle

The Bitter Belle thinks that all men are dogs. She’s usually never in a relationship or if she is in one, she’s very unhappy in it and her advice to you always reflects that sentiment.

Follow her advice and you’ll end up bitter and alone, just like her.

2. The Go Along Girl

The Go Along Girl just tells you what you want to hear. She goes along with whatever mood she thinks you’re in. If you want to leave your man, she’ll agree with you that it’s time to go.

If you want to stay in a bad relationship a little longer to see if it’s never really going to change, the go along girl will firmly support that decision.

The Go Along Girl give you advice that only allows you to achieve temporary happiness, not growth or perspective.

3. The Captain Save A Relationship Girl

The Captain Save A Relationship Girl will never advise you to leave a man under any circumstances. Whether he treats you like a queen or the scum of the earth, the Captain Save a Relationship Girl will always tell you how lucky you are to have a man at all.

She sees being in a relationship as better than being single at all costs. The Captain Save a Relationship Girl will find a way to make your destructive relationship seem pretty ideal.

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

4. The Reality Check Girl

The Reality Check Girl gives you the reality check that you so desperately need! She helps you see your situation in a much more objective light so that you can ultimately make a smart, informed decision about your relationship for yourself.

She doesn’t necessarily tell you what you need to do, but she guides you down the path to clarity so that you can see the big picture for yourself.

Those are my four basic types of woman advisors. The first three woman advisors are not the ideal people you want to get your advice from so try to stick with the Reality Check Girl and get a realistic perspective on your situation.

What are your thoughts about getting advice from friends and family? Do you know who exactly you’re getting your advice from? Do you steer clear of talking about your relationships all together? I’d love to hear your thoughts and perspective! Please leave your comments or questions below.

If you’re interested in this topic and want to hear more, check out my podcast: www.deesdatingdiary.podomatic.com or download this episode now: Download episode.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till next time,

Dee

Welcome to Dee’s Dating Diary!

Posted on December 29, 2013 by Dee's Dating Diary

Dee’s Dating Diary is a place where women can share their experiences, both bad and good, with dating, love, and life in general. Our experiences as women define the people we are and we can’t let our negative experiences in … Continue reading →