Would Your Boyfriend Rather Spend The 4th of July With The Boys?

Posted on July 4, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

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The 4th of July is a great opportunity to spend quality time with your friends, family, and significant other. From barbecues to seafood boils, the 4th of July has a way of bringing people together.

If you’re in a relationship and not working on the 4th of July, you’re probably expecting to spend the holiday with your boyfriend. But, what if your boyfriend would rather spend the 4th of July with “the boys?”

If you live with your boyfriend or spend a lot of time with each other, you may want to catch up with your own family and friends over the holiday. And, it’s great to stay connected with your family and friends while you’re in a relationship.

But, if you don’t get to spend a lot of time with your boyfriend because of busy schedules, the holidays are the perfect opportunity to get that quality time in. So, if you don’t spend a lot of time with your boyfriend and he’d rather spend his free time over the holiday with his boys, then this is a red flag.

Don’t be afraid to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how you feel. If you want to spend time with your boyfriend over the holiday, express this and if he still doesn’t want to spend time with you, then you may need to re-evaluate your relationship.

And, if you don’t spend the 4th of July with your boyfriend, definitely don’t mope around the house feeling sorry for yourself. Call up some friends, make plans, and go have some fun!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Happy 4th of July!

Till Next Time,

Dee

5 Reasons Why You Should Date When You Don’t Want To

Posted on June 27, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dating can come with a lot of ups and downs. On some dates you don’t make a connection and on dates where you thought you made a great connection, nothing materializes from it. Dating is definitely not easy and many times it is a bit of a numbers game.

Unfortunately, you’re not going to start a great relationship from every date you go on, but you can’t get discouraged and give up on dating altogether. You have to keep putting yourself out there and trying even when you don’t want to. Why is that, you ask? Well, here are 5 reasons why you should date even when you don’t want to:

1. You Need To Know What Your Dating Flaws Are

Continuing to date when you don’t want to allows you to see what problems you might have in dating. Maybe you act a bit needy or come on too strong. Maybe you talk about the future too soon or dive into subjects you should avoid on first dates.

You have to continue dating to see what behaviors or things you are doing that are holding you back in your dating life.

2. Practice Makes Perfect

We all have things we need to work on in our dating lives and relationships, but if you don’t date you won’t be able to fix or correct those dating problems.

It takes practicing doing the right things to eliminate those bad behaviors. You can’t think that you’re going to stay out of the dating scene, meet the perfect man, and be able to act the way you should.

We all know that it’s hardest to play it right with a man that we’re really interested in. So, it’s going to take practice to get yourself to stop those bad habits that sabotage your dating life.

3. You Need To Keep Up With Dating Norms

Just like there are social norms that we all live by, there are also dating norms that people follow. What a society’s dating norms are often change and when you avoid dating you keep yourself out of the information loop.

By not dating, you won’t know what dating norms or dating etiquette has changed. For example, today, it’s pretty common for men to send a “good morning” text now. However, some men send these texts to almost every woman in their phone. So, it’s going to take more than a simple good morning text for you to know whether a man is really thinking about you or interested in you.

But, if you never date and then meet a man who starts sending you good morning texts everyday, you may put more emphasis or importance on the fact that he sends you these texts instead of taking those morning texts with a grain of salt.

4. You Don’t Want To Be Rusty

This may come as a surprise, but you actually do get rusty when you haven’t dated for a while. Not only can your flirting skills get rusty, but you could forget the most important thing about going on dates, which is making a connection with your date and having a great time together!

Some women who avoid the dating scene for extended periods of time return to dating and treat their dates like interviews for prospective husbands. When you haven’t been actively dating, it’s easy to forget that you’re supposed to have fun on dates and not just size a man up for marriage.

5. You Give Yourself A Chance To Meet The Right Man

As much as we want to decide when we find a boyfriend and when we get married, you really never know when you’re going to meet the right man.

Know that when you avoid dating, you’re also avoiding the possibility of meeting a great man and having a great relationship. If you want to meet a great guy, if you want to have a great relationship, you actually have to date to find this person!

The truth is, women often complain about not having a boyfriend or meeting Mr. Right, but they don’t put any effort into meeting new men or they unnecessarily turn down dates with men that could be a good match.

Whatever it is that’s preventing you from dating, remember that you have to date even when you don’t want to!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

6 Must Dos Before A Date

Posted on June 20, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

First impressions are everything because they are lasting impressions. When you go out on dates you want to make sure that you’re always putting your best foot forward. So, follow these 5 must dos before a date:

1. No Fantasizing About Your Date

Women often fantasize about dating or being in a relationship with their new date. But, you should never do this before your first date because you ultimately create unrealistic expectations for you and your date.

Your first few dates are supposed to be about getting to know each other and seeing whether you can enjoy each other’s company. You set yourself up for some serious let downs when you fantasize about a new date.

So, don’t dwell on your date or your potential future with the man. Overthinking things can sometimes sabotage yourself.

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2. Don’t Facebook Him or Facebook Stalk Him

Don’t ask your date to be Facebook friends before you even go out on your first date. Not only should you not Facebook stalk your date, but it’s also too premature to become Facebook friends with someone you may never see again.

Despite what you have fantasized about your date, you don’t know what the future holds, so hold off on becoming Facebook friends.

If you’re already Facebook friends or your date’s profile is public, don’t start snooping on his Facebook page or liking any of his posts. While this behavior is definitely not healthy, you also don’t want to Facebook stalk your date because you could accidentally tell on yourself that you were snooping by bringing up some fact or information you shouldn’t have known.

Figure out whether you actually like your date by getting to know him instead of digging and prying into his social media life.

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. De-Stress And Unwind

You are at your best when you are calm and relaxed. People can sense stress and anxiety and the last thing you want to do is give off or transfer a lot of negative energy on to your date. So, read a book, exercise, catch up on your favorite shows, or call some friends to hang out and veg out!

If you have a hard time relaxing, go to a spa. Get a massage, get in the steam room or sauna. Do whatever you have to do to become that happy and fun woman that you really are, the woman a man can truly enjoy his time with.

But, if you’ve had a really bad day or week and you could easily take this frustration out on your date through your attitude, you may want to consider rescheduling your date for another day (See my post When You Should Cancel Your Date).

There’s nothing worse than being on a date with a woman who has a bad attitude. We all have bad days, but it should never be reflected on your dates!

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4. Beautify Your Face

To get ready for your dates, you need to do your eyebrows and get rid of the hair on your upper lip, if necessary. If you get waxed, do it no less than 2 days before your date so there’s no remaining redness or puffiness on your face.

And, this is a great example of why you shouldn’t accept last minute dates (See my post No More Last Minute Dates!) because you need to have an adequate amount of time to prep and primp yourself before a date.

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5. Get Your Nails Done

When I say get your nails done, this includes both hands AND feet ladies! Try not to do any crazy creations with your nails on the first date. Keep your nails simple and classy.

You can show more creativity with your nails on future dates, but you have to know that there is such a thing as too much too soon (See my post One Thing That Kills A Potential Relationship is…). Let a man focus on your personality and not your nails on your first few dates.

And, it’s okay if you don’t get your nails done professionally, but if you’re not great at doing your nails then you need to find a good nail salon in your area. If you can do your own nails, at a minimum you need to trim, clean, and put some clear polish on.

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

6. Do Your Hair

You have to do your hair before your date, there’s no exceptions here ladies! You should look flawless on your dates and not like something the cat dragged in!

Whether you do your hair yourself or you get it done professionally, just make sure it looks great and adds to your beauty instead of taking away from it.

Now that you know what you need to do before your next dates, it’s time to get out there and date! Happy Dating Ladies!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Is Your Boyfriend Worth Your Time?

Posted on June 13, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

“I just read your article on men who pull the disappearing act. I am very familar with this, being my current boyfriend has done this more then I can count (12+). I know, I shouldn’t allow this, but It’s hard to explain. I want to be with him, we agree with some major issues, and he has qualities that are rare in a man. I also know it’s something he’s battling with.

On the other hand, it is extremely disrespectful to me to abandon me every time things get a little heavy. I need a man who will be by my side in hard times. Every time he does this, he comes back treating me better than ever, and I guess that’s why I’ve dealt with it for so long.

We have almost been dating for about 2 years now, and we are 3 year apart in age, I am older. We are also in our early 20’s. I just don’t know what to do. I know I deserve better, but I just can’t let him go. The cycle is everything is normal/or great, then he slowly starts taking me for granted, then things get heavy or he upsets me, then he completely shuts down and I don’t hear from him for days/weeks, then repeat.

The longest he has gone without speaking to me was 2 weeks. I can’t imagine loving someone, then at the same time purposely ignoring them for an extended period. Doesn’t he genuinely miss me in this time? Or Is he just using this time selfishly to do whatever he wants, and only comes back to me when he feels like it? I just don’t think I can deal with it anymore.

I know I deserve a man to actually WANT to be with me, and be with me through thick and thin. I mean, what happens if he does this and we are married or have children together? I’m sorry for the long message, it’s just nice to get someone else’s perspective and to just talk it out in general. Today marks a week since he ‘ran away from home’ (we live together)…”

Dear Dater,

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been going through all this and I’m happy to lend you my ear and opinion. Although, it sounds like you already know what you need to do here.

You’ve been dealing with your boyfriend’s disappearing acts for 2 years now and it’s very apparent that this is a regular pattern in his behavior. It seems that your boyfriend’s disappearances may be a result of him trying to avoid issues or problems in the relationship, but this is absolutely not conducive to having a healthy and loving relationship.

While your boyfriend does come back into the picture and treats you better than ever, it’s only momentarily. One of the most important characteristics to look for in a man you date is consistency! I say this all the time, but consistency is truly key!

When a man is inconsistent it shows you that he is not who he portrays himself to really be and you can’t depend on him. Men can only fake it for so long so their inconsistencies or disappearing acts are your red flags that this person may not be the man you actually want. Sometimes, we get so caught up in trying to get or keep a boyfriend that we often don’t ask ourselves, “is this the type of man I want to be in a relationship with or spend the rest of my life with?”

At the end of the day, your relationship is best when your boyfriend returns from his disappearances, but your good feelings are always fleeting, it never lasts. You are only in your twenties and still have your whole life ahead of you. I know it’s not easy to see the rainbow when you’re in the storm, but there are men out there that will cherish you and wouldn’t dare risk the chance of losing you by pulling a disappearing act.

In fact, a man that truly loves you will never want to leave your life, whether it’s for a few days or a few weeks. A part of having a great, loving, and healthy relationship is knowing your worth and knowing what you do and don’t deserve. The second you realize that you are worth a man staying in your life is the second that you will stop tolerating bad behavior from men, i.e. the disappearing act.

So, I want you to ask yourself, is your boyfriend really the type of man you want to be in a relationship with? If not, then it’s time to move on honey! But, when you ask yourself this question, I need you to realistically look at your entire relationship. Don’t just reflect on the good times with your boyfriend, definitely consider the good and the bad. How does he make you feel? And, I don’t mean how he makes you feel when he is laying it on thick after treating you badly and ignoring your calls and texts for days.

When you make this decision, remember how you feel every time he leaves you and you’re not even sure where he is staying. Do you feel loved then?

You’ve definitely given this relationship your all, but has your boyfriend? How much time are you willing to spend in this relationship waiting for your boyfriend to be a better man? I know it’s never easy deciding whether to break up with a boyfriend, but focus on the right things and you’ll make the right decision for you.

I wish you all the best and never forget that you’re worth a man staying in your life!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Yours Truly,

Dee Simone

Related Posts You’ll Like:

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?

Wondering Why Men Come Back In Your Life?

Are You Downplaying His Negatives?

To Break Up Or Not To Break Up?

Ask Dee’s Dating Diary A Dating Question!

3 Tips For Leaving A Job Without Regret

Posted on June 6, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Without another job lined up, quitting a job or getting fired can be brutal. Our work life is so deeply intertwined into our lives that we often can’t separate work from personal time.

We get off work, but we still think about the good or bad things that happened at work that day. If things were stressful or you made a mistake at work, do you not take that stress or anxiety home with you?

Ultimately, it’s hard to leave your feelings about work at work. And as a result, a piece of our lives, a piece of our being is at the mercy of a job. So, when you quit a job or get fired from a job you weren’t ready to leave, follow the 3 R’s to turn the situation into a positive and uplifting one: Reflect, Regroup, and Regain!

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Reflect.

You have to reflect at the end of any relationship whether it’s a personal relationship or your work relationship. Reflect on the entire job experience. What things went wrong? How did you handle it and how did you play a role in the situation? What could you have done differently or better? What things were really out of your control and what things were within your control? Did you contribute the quality and amount of work needed for the job?

You definitely have to take ownership of your shortcomings and/or problems in the workplace. You need to reflect back on your entire work experience so that you can learn from it and perfect the things that are within your immediate control.

Reflecting also gives you an opportunity to evaluate management in your company as a whole. If you’re interested in a career in management, then start thinking about what would be best practices in your industry. Of course, considering cost effectiveness as well. At the end of the day, never feel that any job was in vein. Take them all as valuable learning experiences!

Regroup.

After you reflect, you need to regroup. This means, you need to take the things that you have learned in your reflection and reorient yourself in areas you’ve realized need change. In regrouping, you’re actually developing yourself as a maturer and smarter worker. Regrouping allows you to become a better asset and performer for your next employer.

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Regain.

Regain control of your work life. While you should take a little time to yourself after your job ends, it still needs to be within reason.

Yes, you should lay on the couch and watch your favorite shows. Yes, you should indulge in a few of your favorite meals. Yes, you should take at least a few days to clear your mind and not think about anything. But, you can’t mope around forever and feel sorry for yourself.

Some people may have more of a financial cushion while out of work than others, but that doesn’t mean you can spend months doing nothing. You have to regain control of your life and get back out there. Scope out jobs on the Internet, start networking, consider volunteering. Whatever your career path is, pursue it!

When you reflect, regroup, and regain control after a job ends, you’ll find yourself in a much better place before you know it!

For more great advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Dee Simone Guest Stars on The Right To Real Love Radio Show!

Posted on May 23, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Today, I’m guest starring on The Right to REAL Love Radio show hosted by Jay Mayo! On this episode, we discuss the topic of treating your boyfriend like a husband. The topic was inspired by my article “Stop Treating Your Boyfriend Like Your Husband!” But, on the show, we take a much deeper dive into the topic and Jay Mayo really creates a multifaceted conversation through his unique male perspective.

Not only do we address the problems and difficulties associated with treating your boyfriend like a husband, but we also address important implications of this behavior that every woman should know! I had a great time recording with Jay Mayo and you’re not going to want to miss this conversation! You can listen right here:

You can also listen to the show directly on The Right to REAL Love website where you’ll also find some great notes from the show: The Right to REAL Love Radio: Are You Treating Your Boyfriend Like a Husband?

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Meet Dee The Dating Coach!

Posted on May 16, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Dee Simone is your dating and life coach extraordinaire! She’s a Licensed Attorney and Certified Mediator with a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology. Dee is the creator and author of Dee’s Dating Diary. She loves working with people and helping them resolve any issues that are holding them back in dating or life in general.

Dee helps her clients recognize and work through difficult problems, enabling them to live happier lives and have more meaningful, loving, and healthy relationships. With keen insight into the behavioral aspects of dating, Dee gives her clients valuable advice and suggestions for positive change and positive results!

How Can I Help You?

Dating Coach & Life Coach

Are you struggling or having difficulty in your dating or everyday life? Schedule a one-on-one session to start your journey to a better you! In my sessions, we’ll figure out what things have been preventing you from living a fulfilling life or having a great relationship.

I will help you develop an understanding of how your thoughts, beliefs, actions, or inaction plays a role in your quality of life!

Need emergency dating advice? No problem! Use the contact form below to contact me for any of my services and be sure to include your Name, Age, Email Address, Phone Number (Optional), and how I can be of help to you!

Relationship Counseling

Are you having problems in your current relationship? Do you need the help of a relationship expert to get your relationship to a happier and healthier place?

My dating and relationship expertise provides clients with well-rounded, beneficial relationship counseling that actually produces results.

Online Dating

Is your online dating profile not getting the attention you want? I’ll help you makeover your profile and give you great tips for navigating the online dating world and having fun while you’re doing it!

Break Up Support

Breakups are tough! But, worse than a break up is not learning from the relationship and harboring emotional baggage. If your relationship ended suddenly and you have no idea why or you didn’t get the closure you need, my break up support services can help you determine where your relationship went wrong and get you the closure you need to move on.

I will help you heal, learn, and get rid of any emotional baggage you developed from a relationship. With my break up support services, you’ll get to a better you in no time!

Speaking Engagements

For speaking engagements, panels, group seminars, workshops, hosting, and more, submit a request using the contact form below or send an email to Dee@DeesDatingDiary.com.

Confidentiality

I am highly sensitive to the privacy needs of professionals, high-level executives, and individuals in the entertainment industry. Rest assured that strict confidentiality is always maintained and the names and identities of clients will never be disclosed without permission.

For great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

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Red Flag: He Suddenly Always Has To Work Late

Posted on May 9, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

One of my favorite topics to write about are red flags. It’s really important for both men and women to be aware of the various red flags that could pop up while you’re dating or in a relationship.

When you don’t pick up on important red flags or you rationalize away the red flags you see, you ultimately set yourself up to stay in a problematic relationship.

Red Flag: He Suddenly Always Has To Work Late

If your boyfriend always has to work late, this is definitely a huge red flag! But, only in certain circumstances. If your boyfriend was working late hours when you met him, then always working late isn’t really a red flag for you.

However, if your boyfriend had normal working hours when you started dating and later into the relationship he all of a sudden has to work late all the time, this is definitely a red flag you have to pay attention to!

Unless your boyfriend got a new job, was given a promotion, or had to take on more responsibilities in his position, there’s really no reason he should have to start working late every night.

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Keep Your Eyes Open

If you notice this red flag in your relationship, don’t immediately freak out! Relax, take a deep breath, and just start paying more attention to your boyfriend’s actions.

If his working late continues for too long, it may be a situation you should candidly discuss with your boyfriend. Either way, don’t jump to conclusions. Have a simple, honest, and open conversation about how you feel.

And, remember to trust your gut instincts. It’s not called women’s intuition for no reason!

For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

More Red Flags To Read About:

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

5 Red Flags Men Need To Watch For

Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts?

Red Flag: He “Fell Asleep”

What’s Your Favorite Online Dating Website?

Posted on May 2, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Atibodyphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s really easy to get discouraged in dating, but it’s even easier to get discouraged with online dating. Most women get off dating sites once they feel they aren’t getting the results they want.

But, instead of giving up on online dating altogether, you should try different dating sites. There’s something for almost everyone out there.

So, for the newcomers to online dating and the veterans who feel their sites have gotten stale, here’s a list of some online dating websites you can try out:

Our Time (50+ Dating)

Alikewise (Dating Based on Book Tastes)

Big & Beautiful Singles

If you know of great online dating websites that you don’t see on this list, feel free to leave the names in a comment below!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Related Articles You’ll Like

How to Create A Great Online Dating Profile

5 Tips For Better Online Dating Profile Pictures

Not Happy With Your Online Dating Website?

5 Online Dating Don’ts

Do You Know Your Dating Flaws?

Posted on April 25, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As much as you may not want to hear this, everyone has dating flaws. The difference is in the people that recognize their flaws and actively work towards positive change. It’s true, no one is perfect and we can’t change everything about ourselves. But, for the things that we can change, we should work on them.

Everyone wants a good man or a good woman, but many people don’t think about the fact that a good man deserves a good woman (and vice versa). So, if you’re not getting the results that you want in your dating life, it’s time for some deep introspection!

You need to figure out where your dating or relationships are going wrong so that you can make an effort to improve your behavior in those areas.

Everyone wants dating tips and trick for landing a great person, but very few people are interested in bettering themselves to increase their chances of finding the one. You can have all the dating tips and tricks in the world, but if you’re not right inside, your relationship won’t be either.

Take the time to figure out what it is that has been holding you back in your dating life and work towards positive improvement. Then you can worry about tips and tricks for finding and keeping Mr. Right!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Are You Downplaying His Negatives?

Posted on April 18, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sometimes, when a woman is dating a man, she downplays his negatives to maintain the viability of that relationship.

By “downplaying the negative,” I mean that a woman can be so eager to have a boyfriend and get married that she rationalizes or ignores the negatives she sees in a man. These “negatives” can be red flags, character faults, or problems that pop up while you’re dating.

The problem with downplaying the negative is that it often comes back to bite you in the, well, you know where! The things you ignore now and let go could cause serious problems in the relationship down the line.

How many times have you reflected back on a relationship after the break up just to realize that the signs that the relationship was doomed for failure were right in front of your face the whole time? If this has been you, you need to ask yourself whether it’s worth it to continue writing off men’s problems for the sake of being able to say you have a boyfriend or because he has things that are on your “laundry list,” like money.

Some women are so focused on making every relationship work that they forget that some relationships just aren’t meant to work. You do yourself no justice by trying to make a man “fit” your life. Sometimes, a man is just not right for you!

So, don’t downplay those significant negative qualities you see when you’re dating because it could be those exact same negative qualities that eventually end the relationship.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

P.S. If you’re not reflecting back on your relationship after a break up, you’re not learning the lessons that you need to learn in dating. Check out my post The Most Important Thing to do After a Break Up to learn how the relationship playback can help you! And, if you want to find out whether your “laundry list” is doing you justice, check out my post Is Your Laundry List Holding You Back From Getting A Quality Man?

5 Online Dating Don’ts

Posted on April 11, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Although online dating is extremely prevalent around the world, online dating etiquette is definitely lagging! So, for the online daters out there that just don’t know, here’s 5 online dating don’ts:

1. No Hats or Sunglasses in Your Profile Pictures

We all have some fabulous pictures of ourselves in hats or sunglasses, or even both! But, your online dating profile is not the place for these pictures. Hats and sunglasses actually hide a lot of your face and this is not what you want to showcase.

Your profile pictures should give people a real sense of what you look like and not be just a gorgeous illusion of you.

2. Don’t Lie About Your Education

Many women meet men online that claim to have an associate’s degree, bachelor’s degree, master’s degree, or “some college,” and turn out to have nothing beyond high school.

While there’s nothing wrong with only having a high school diploma, the problem is when you lie about it. Some men feel the need to lie about their education in order to seem more appealing to women who do have advanced degrees.

Here’s the thing, a woman with advanced degrees could be open to dating a man with a high school diploma or GED, but she most likely won’t want to date a liar. So, be up front about your education and don’t say you did “some college” when you did no college at all.

3. Don’t Vent About Dating in Your Online Dating Profile

You would think some people would know better, but nope! For some, it’s perfectly okay to vent about bad online dating experiences. For example, “I’m looking for a good woman. I’m tired of all the women on this site that are just looking for a man to buy them dinner and pay their bills. No, I won’t pay your car note! If you’re a down to earth, independent woman send me a message 🙂 .”

This is not okay! And, it’s not going to get you the responses you think it will. Your online dating profile is not the place to vent about your dating experiences. Save these venting sessions for your friends and family.

4. Don’t Lie About Your Job

You should never lie about your job, which includes saying your occupation is a job you had over a year or more ago. I mean, if you’ll lie about your job, what else will you lie about?

Honesty and trust are very important foundations of a relationship. Ultimately, lies destroy trust. And, when you try to build a relationship on lies, your foundation will always be shaky and unstable.

5. Don’t Talk About Your Ex In Your Profile

NEVER talk about your ex in your online dating profile. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a quick reference to what you didn’t like about your ex, like “My ex was super selfish and I think she was cheating on me so I need a loyal woman” or whether it’s an all out story telling time for what happened in the relationship.

Your ex should never be a point of conversation on your online dating profile or your first dates!! If you feel that strongly about including your ex in your profile description or conversation, it may be too soon for you to start dating again. Take a little more time to heal from the relationship before jumping back into the dating game.

Now that we’re more than a decade into online dating, it’s time that our online dating etiquette reflect that!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

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3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Facebook Stalk An Ex

Posted on April 4, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Pixomar at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Technology has made it far too easy to keep track of people’s lives. From Facebook to Twitter to Instagram and Snapchat, it’s so easy to keep tabs on an ex.

While we all have that moment at some point after a break up where we think, “I wonder what my ex is doing” or how he is doing or whether he is dating someone new, only some women have the will power to keep themselves from digging for info.

3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Facebook Stalk Your Ex

There are several reasons why you shouldn’t Facebook stalk or social media stalk an ex, but here are 3:

1. You Can’t Move On.

It keeps you from really getting over the relationship and moving on. You can never truly move on when you’re still wrapped up in your ex’s life. How can you learn from your relationship and emotionally heal if you’re maintaining an unhealthy attachment to your ex.

2. You Won’t Like What You See.

What you find on social media is usually upsetting even if it’s absolutely nothing. For example, your ex may not be dating anyone new or working some great new job, but he looks real damn happy in his pictures and that’s enough to piss you off! You’re never going to like what you see.

3. You Need To Focus On You.

You need to be living your life and stop giving anymore time and attention to someone who is not right for you. In stalking your ex on social media, you’re just going to make yourself feel bad and, possibly, miss being with someone you weren’t meant to be with at all.

As much as you want to know what’s going on in your ex’s life, you have to let it go. Focus on bettering yourself.

You are a woman! You’re capable of bringing new life into this world. You have strength beyond your knowledge and you are certainly capable of keeping yourself off your ex’s social media.

Your ex didn’t think you were worth staying in a relationship with so why is he worth Facebook stalking? Don’t waste anymore energy on your exes, it’ll only keep you from allowing the right man into your life!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

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Can You Admit To Being Wrong?

Posted on March 28, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As great as it feels to gloat about being right, you have to be able to humble yourself to admit when you’re wrong.

And, your ability to do this is definitely an indication of your maturity level.

Why Does It Matter?

People deserve to have the satisfaction of you acknowledging that you’re wrong in any given situation.

Admitting when you’re wrong allows people to feel better about talking to you and, ultimately, opening up. It lets them know that you do, in fact, listen to them.

Letting a person know that they have been heard sometimes means more than being right.

Show your boyfriend, girlfriend, friends, and family that you can take the time to hear them out and appreciate what they’re saying.

And, when you’re able to admit you’re wrong, it may make it easier for others to do the same with you.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Perception Is Reality

If you know you’re wrong and don’t verbalize it, you can lead people to feel like you always think you’re right and aren’t willing to genuinely consider other people’s perspective.

Although this may not be the case, perception is reality. What people perceive you to be is what they will think you are regardless of whether it’s true or not.

So, make the effort to show people that you listen, consider the other side, and can admit when you’re wrong.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

To Break Up Or Not To Break Up?

Posted on March 21, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 4 years, and we have been to hell and back.. Unfortunately I cheated on him almost 2 years ago when I felt like he didn’t care about the relationship anymore and when he found out he all of a sudden cared more than anything in the world. I bring up the topic of marriage and he says that he isn’t over what I did just yet so I shouldn’t be expecting a ring anytime soon and that he’s in no rush to get married.. Should I stay or should I go? P.S he is 34 and I’m 26..

Dear Dater,

Wow, sounds like you have quite the dilemma on your hands. Here’s what I think:

If after 2 years your boyfriend still isn’t over you cheating on him, the likelihood of him ever getting past it is slim to none.

Unfortunately, cheating can really damage the health and well-being of a relationship. In your case, the damage wasn’t so far beyond repair that you couldn’t continue the relationship, but it seems to have damaged the possibility of marriage.

Is This The Relationship You Really Want?

While you are concerned about where your boyfriend sees this relationship going, you can’t forget to ask yourself whether this relationship is really right for you.

Yes, you maintained the relationship after cheating and you said that you only cheated because you felt like your boyfriend didn’t care about the relationship, but you should definitely reevaluate whether you truly want to spend the rest of your life with this man AND whether you can do that faithfully. Ultimately, your boyfriend told you not to expect a ring anytime soon and you need to take that to heart.

So, should you stay or should you go?

In my opinion, you definitely need to go. You are 26 years old and have many things ahead of you. You can’t spend the next 4 years of your life waiting to see if your boyfriend is going to get over your cheating and marry you.

If you wait around in this relationship for too long hoping for a proposal, you may come to regret that decision one day. Check out the blog post I wrote about this: How Long Is Too Long To Wait For A Wedding Ring?

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Yours Truly,Dee

Are You Picking The Wrong First Date Outfits?

Posted on March 14, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Getting ready for a date can be stressful and when you pick the wrong outfit it can affect your ability to fully enjoy a date. When you’re picking a first date outfit, comfort is truly key.

Obviously, you want to look gorgeous for your date, but you also need to feel great in whatever it is that you’re wearing. Being comfortable in your outfit is really important because comfort will breed confidence!

Comfort Breeds Confidence

When you’re uncomfortable in your clothes you’ll fidget throughout the date, constantly pulling on your clothes or trying to readjust them. This is insecure behavior.

Here’s the thing, many men do notice when you’re insecure about your appearance. They’ll notice you readjusting your pants when you sit down or stand.

Insecurity is not sexy, cute, or attractive. Men like confident women, period! When you see that gorgeous guy walking down the street with an average girl, it’s her confidence and personality that takes her from being a 6 or 7 to a full 10.

So, on your first dates, you want to wear something that you’re not only comfortable in, but something that also makes you look and feel beautiful too. This way, your confidence can take you from a 6 or 7 to a full 10!

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What’s Your Beauty Factors?

When you feel beautiful you exude beauty! But, what makes one woman feel beautiful though may not make another woman feel beautiful.

For some women, the beauty factor is in the hair, make up, outfit, or a combination of all three.

And, truthfully, you should be paying attention to all three of these beauty factors when you’re getting ready for your date.

You can’t wear a great outfit, but have a hot mess on your head or overly caked on makeup. So, pay attention to your outfit, hair, and make up when you’re getting ready for your date.

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Confidence Isn’t Arrogance

No matter what you think makes you beautiful, just remember that you need to be your most confident self on your date.

Now, some people confuse confidence with arrogance. But, arrogance is never the way to go!

You can definitely be confident and know you’re beautiful without being arrogant or cocky. So, know the difference and always be your best, most confident self without being obnoxiously arrogant.

The next time you’re getting ready for a date, keep in mind that you want to look like a lady, a woman a man would be proud to call his own.

And, know that there’s a fine line between sexy and slutty. You definitely don’t want to be on the wrong end!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

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It’s Easier To Leave Than To Be Left

Posted on March 7, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you’re in a relationship and your boyfriend has to leave town for a trip or some other reason, you probably find it hard to watch him leave.

You may even feel alone because the time you would normally spend with your boyfriend becomes a void or a gap.

The funny thing is, when it’s you that has to leave town it’s not as hard to leave as it is to be left by your boyfriend.

When you’re leaving for a trip, leisurely or work-related, it’s easier to leave because you have something to look forward to or your time will be occupied for the most part.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Who Has It Easier In A Break Up?

Now, turning this to break ups, it’s also always easier to break up with a boyfriend than to be broken up with.

This obviously isn’t the case if you’re breaking up with your boyfriend because of cheating or some other wrong.

Truthfully though, there’s something about having control over the break up that gives you an element of ease. You weren’t blindsided by the break up, you thought the decision through, and you decided the best move for yourself was to move on.

With these things in mind, you obviously wouldn’t be as torn up over the break up since you’re the person that decided to end it.

So, it’s really true in many aspects actually, it’s always easier to leave than be left!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Best of Dee’s Dating Diary 2014

Posted on February 28, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Dee’s Dating Diary brought you some of the best dating advice in 2014. From red flags to first date etiquette to online dating, Dee’s Dating Diary truly provided need-to-know dating advice! Since 2014 really flew by, you may have missed some … Continue reading →

Wondering Why Men Come Back In Your Life?

Posted on February 21, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I wrote a post called Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts? and I got some really great comments from people sharing their experiences with the dreadful “disappearing act.”

In a comment I was asked:

“If he’s just not into me, I get it. If he has other girls or a girlfriend, I can let him go. Whatever his reason for disappearing out of my life, I can deal with that. But it’s the constant REAPPEARING that I don’t understand. If you do not want to be with me then why not leave me alone? Why stop talking to me then try talking to me again? Is it about sex? Is this a power or control thing for him? Does this boost his self-esteem? What is his deal?”

I wanted to address this question in a post because many women have asked themselves these questions too.

The Re-Appearing Act

It’s certainly shocking to a woman when she goes from regularly communicating with a man to not getting any replies from her texts or calls.

And as if going MIA wasn’t bad enough, some men choose to further perplex women by coming back into the picture like nothing happened.

Maybe he tells you he lost his phone or perhaps he went all out and said he was in the hospital. Regardless of the excuse (and they’re all just that, excuses), it’s never okay for a man to ignore your texts and calls for days or weeks.

If a man is genuinely interested in you, he’s not going to disappear off the face of the earth then pop back in your life a week or months later.

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Do They Re-Appear?

Do men reappear in your life because of sex, power and control, or self-esteem? The answer truly depends on the man. There’s actually no one-size fits all answer to this.

The most important point to take away from this is that, if he really wants to be with you, he’s not going to disappear from your life for days or weeks, period.

But, if you decide to give a man another chance after his disappearing act, don’t be upset when he does it to you again down the line.

Whether it’s a break up or the disappearing act, many men will contact you again in the future. And, you can’t let your decision to date a man be based on whether he ever reaches out to you again.

If a man wasn’t right for you or he flat out disappeared on you, it shouldn’t matter that he reached out to you again. Don’t let a bad blast from the past set you back in your dating life.

For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

A Great Valentine’s Day Isn’t Just For Couples!

Posted on February 14, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Valentine’s Day is certainly the most romanticized day of the year. While it’s definitely a day for love, it’s not just about being loved by your boyfriend.

Fathers and mothers often show their children love on Valentine’s Day. Whether it be with cards, gifts, candy, or simply love and affection.

Valentine’s Day is for everyone, single or not!

A Relationship Doesn’t = A Great Valentine’s Day

Too often, women put so much emphasis on having a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.

But, as a single woman, you have to remember that being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee that you’ll have a great Valentine’s Day.

Some couples have to work on Valentine’s Day, others are in long distance relationships, and some boyfriends don’t show their girlfriends love on any other day of the year.

Despite what many women might say, being single on Valentine’s Day is not a bad thing.

Being Single On Valentine’s

If you’re single, Valentine’s Day should be all about loving yourself and the people close to you!

Instead of moping around, you need to spend time with your loved ones, pamper yourself, or do the things you really enjoy.

Call your other single friends, go out, and have a great time! Or, stay in and have a great girl’s night!

If your friends are busy, then treat yourself to something special. Get food from your favorite restaurant, buy a great bottle of wine, and catch up on those shows or movies you’ve been wanting to watch.

Or, if you don’t have a problem going out by yourself, go to a nice lounge and grab a drink. You never know, you could meet a nice guy and have great conversation if nothing more.

No matter what you do on Valentine’s Day, remember that it’s about love for yourself too!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Are You Following The Skin Rule On Your First Dates?

Posted on February 7, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Picking the right outfit for a date can sometime be stressful, but it’s really important to avoid the temptation to dress in extremely revealing or skimpy outfits.

You may look fabulous in your super short dress with a plunging neck line to your navel and open back, but let me tell you, this is not going to generate anything but sexual interest in you!

And, once a man labels you as a sex object, that’s all you’ll ever be!

So, keep it tasteful on your first few dates by using the skin rule.

Image courtesy of Patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Skin Rule

You can only show ONE of the following, if any:

1. Cleavage

2. Middrift

3. Legs

4. Back

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Do The Skin Rule?

You definitely don’t want to dress too provocatively on your first few dates so that your date will pay more attention to you and not your body.

As a woman, you have to try your best to keep a man’s mind out of the “gutter.” And, you don’t accomplish this by showing up to a date with your breast hanging out over your food.

You want a man to like you for who you are and not your body alone.

Of course, there needs to be an element of attraction but a man can still be very physically attracted to you without having to see your body through sheer or skimpy clothes.

At the end of the day, looks will fade. So, make sure your dates are developing a genuine interest for you and not just your assets!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

How Long Is Too Long To Wait For A Wedding Ring?

Posted on January 31, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Often times, women stay in relationships with men for years waiting to get that prized engagement ring.

But, how long is too long to wait for a wedding ring?

Well, it’s hard to say exactly how long each woman should wait for a proposal because every relationship is different.

The dynamics of one relationship may warrant a longer “waiting” period than others.

Image courtesy of Exsodus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How Long Is Too Long To Wait For A Wedding Ring?

While it is difficult to put a cap on the amount of time that a woman should wait for an engagement proposal, I can say that waiting ten years should be out of the question for every woman!

In general, I believe that a woman shouldn’t stay in a relationship for longer than 3-4 years without being asked to get married.

If a man doesn’t know if he wants to marry you after 3-4 years of being in a relationship, the chances of him wanting to marry you after year 5,6, or 7 goes down drastically.

Many women stick around in relationships for years nudging and even nagging their boyfriends to settle down and get married.

But, you should never try to force a man to marry you!

Image courtesy of Yingyo at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What Do You Really Want?

If you’re just looking for any warm body to call your husband and you don’t care about the quality of your relationship, then by all means honey, “do you!”

But, if you actually want a marriage filled with love instead of resentment, then stop trying to chase men into marriage.

The truth is, every woman truly wants a man that feels strongly enough for her that she doesn’t have to shove the idea of marriage down his throat to get that fantasied wedding ring.

Image courtesy of Num_Skyman at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Know Your Worth!

Women, you have to remember your worth and know that your time is precious! Not every man is deserving of your time and certainly not half a decade or more of it!

You deserve a man that knows he wants to marry you well before 5 years into the relationship.

So, stop settling for less!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

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Ask Dee’s Dating Diary A Dating Question!

Posted on January 17, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Need Dating or Relationship Advice?

Do you have a dating question you’d like to ask Dee’s Dating Diary?

Whether it’s a general question about dating or a specific relationship issue you’re having, Dee’s Dating Diary has your answer!

You can submit your questions using the contact form below!

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Share The Knowledge!

Your dating question will be answered in a direct email to you, but it may also appear on Dee’s Dating Diary in the form of a post.

Don’t worry, no identifying information will be put in the post and you will remain completely anonymous.

Your question will only be used to provide others with the same great dating advice that you receive!

So, stop stressing and dealing with your dating problems alone, contact Dee’s Dating Diary today!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Did Your Boyfriend Make Time For You This Holiday?

Posted on January 3, 2015 by Dee's Dating Diary

Image courtesy of Digidreamgrafix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The holidays are a really great time to cherish your loved ones and spend as much quality time with them as possible.

From parents to siblings and friends, the holidays are a time for the people you truly love. No one wants to spend their precious free holiday time with frenemies.

With that being said, if you’re currently in a relationship, this past holiday was certainly a great opportunity to bond and enjoy each other’s company.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Did Your Boyfriend Make Time For You This Holiday?

If you didn’t spend any time with your boyfriend this holiday and you’re not in a long distance relationship, it may be time to re-evaluate the quality and viability of your relationship.

Now, if you or your boyfriend had to work through the holiday, that’s definitely understandable.

But, if you’re in a committed relationship and your boyfriend has genuine feelings for you, he should have been making time to see you over the holiday.

Image courtesy of Savit Keawtavee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Stop Accepting Excuses

Some men will have excuses for every time they let you down, but it’s up to you as the woman to be more discerning about the person you’re dating.

Remember, people always make time for what they really want.

And, if you’re not what your boyfriend really wants, maybe he’s not who you should really want either. Just some food for thought.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

Dee’s Dating Diary Celebrates Its 1-Year Anniversary!!

Posted on December 27, 2014 by Dee's Dating Diary

Wow, I can’t believe this December 29, 2014 will make one year since I started Dee’s Dating Diary.

When I launched this blog, I had no idea if it would be a success and now I’m truly overwhelmed at the positive response Dee’s Dating Diary has received.

We all know that dating can be very difficult. But, half of the battle is really about cultivating your mental and emotional stability and well-being.

Only A Quality Woman Deserves A Quality Man

What’s the point in attracting a quality man if your emotional baggage and neuroses is just going to run him off or ruin the relationship?

Dee’s Dating Diary is about inspiring women to make the necessary changes within themselves as well as making better decisions and choices in their dating lives. Decisions that promote great, loving, and healthy relationships.

If you devote yourself to making positive changes within yourself and with your dating habits, you will see positive changes in your dating life as well.

Thanks For Loving Dee’s Dating Diary

I know it can be time consuming to keep up with life as well as all your favorite blogs and internet sites, so I’m grateful for your interest and continued following of Dee’s Dating Diary!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee