Are You Lying About Your Relationship?

Image courtesy of Smarnad at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Smarnad at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I want to take the time to address women who are lying are about their relationships.

Specifically, women who lie about the length of their relationships.

Now, you may be thinking about the women who date a man for two weeks and round that time up to a month, but that’s not what I’m talking about here.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The On-And-Off Couple

I’m sure you all know plenty of women who have been in one relationship that had a series of breakups throughout the relationship.

The couple dates for maybe 6 or 7 months, then breaks up, and then gets back together some months later.

I call these back and forth, on-and-off relationships “boomeranging.”

While I don’t agree with boomeranging because of the many problems that come along with it (See my post: No More Boomeranging!!), the delusion women have about the nature of these relationships is astounding.

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Lying About Your Relationship

When you talk to women who do this on-and-off dating, they are quick to tell you that they’ve dated a man for 4 years.

But, the truth is, they only dated for about 6 months out of each year.

So, when you really add up how much time they’ve been in a relationship, it’s usually far less than what they boast!

When you’ve been dating for a long time, of course you’re going to be proud of the length of time you’ve been together.

However, trying to deceive yourself and others about how long you’ve really been with a man only prevents you from accepting the nature of the relationship you truly have.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is The Relationship Worth Having?

Most likely, if you’ve been breaking up on and off several times throughout your relationship, it’s probably not a good one.

And, you shouldn’t be bragging or boasting to anyone about how long your relationship has lasted.

Be honest with yourself and other people, don’t inflate your relationship to be something that it’s not.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Why You Shouldn’t Change Your Facebook Relationship Status

Image courtesy of TungPhoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of TungPhoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Facebook was created as on online medium to stay connected with friends, but, in truth, it’s a forum that showcases every last thing about your personal life.

While you do have the ability to change your privacy settings on Facebook and control who sees what content, the majority of Facebook users (both men and women) are putting way too much information about themselves on their Facebook profiles.

Specifically, when it comes to Facebook relationship statuses, many women tend to broadcast each and every one of their relationships to the Facebook world.

Image courtesy of Arztsamui at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Arztsamui at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When Is It Ok To Change Your Facebook Relationship Status?

Unless you’re married, you should never put your relationship status on Facebook.

Many of the people you’re “friends” with on Facebook aren’t actually your real friends, so you shouldn’t be sharing all your relationships with them.

Truly, it’s nobody’s business on Facebook to know when and who you are in a relationship with.

As you get older and cultivate more Facebook friends that are co-workers and people you met in networking or business events, you especially don’t need to share details about your personal life.

Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why You Shouldn’t Change Your Relationship Status On Facebook

I know a lot of you are probably fighting this piece of dating advice, but think about how bad you’ve felt when you’ve had to change your relationship status back to single and you get bombarded with questions directly on your Facebook wall about why the relationship ended.

When you’re Facebook “friends” ask, “Oh my goodness, are you okay,” and “what happened,” on your wall do you really want to respond to these questions directly on your Facebook wall as well? Of course not!

The truth is, no one wants to answer relationship questions on their Facebook wall or any public forum for that matter.

But, because you put your relationship on blast on Facebook, you opened yourself up to people you barely know and friends with bad Facebook etiquette asking you seriously personal questions in a public forum where you wouldn’t want to answer them.

Another reason why you shouldn’t share you’re relationship status on Facebook is that you don’t want everyone on Facebook keeping track of the number of relationships that you’ve had.

Image courtesy of Graur Codrin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Graur Codrin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You’re Single Until You’re Married

Remember, you’re single until you’re married!

When you’re filling out applications or forms, you can only select single, married, or divorced. There’s no box to select for “in a relationship” or “it’s complicated.”

Since you’re single until you’re married, your Facebook relationship status should reflect that!

When you’re married, you can freely and happily broadcast that on Facebook, but until that time keep your relationship status as “single” on your Facebook and other social media accounts.

For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve.

Till Next Time,

Dee

5 Tips For Better Online Dating Profile Pictures

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you create a profile on an online dating website, you hope that you’ll get lots of messages and meet your perfect match.

But, what many people don’t realize when they create their online dating profiles is that your profile pictures are the most important aspect of your dating profile.

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Online Dating Increases Superficiality 

There’s something about online dating that enables and even pushes people to use it in a superficial way.

Perhaps it’s the structure of having pages that show tons of profiles with a quick synopsis consisting of just a picture, location, and tagline, that promotes the behavior of picking dates or determining interest based on pictures alone.

While there shouldn’t be such a strong emphasis on profile pictures, the reality is, most people pick online dates based solely on profile pictures.

Many people won’t take the time to read your entire profile, but they will definitely go through all of your pictures. Well, that’s if your main profile picture has caught their attention in the first place.

Although you don’t want to date someone who picks dates based on looks alone, the sad truth is, even good people fall victim to the online dating photo shopping mentality.

So, considering how important it is to have great profile pictures in order to drive attention to your online dating profile, I want to give you 5 great tips for your dating profile pics!

5 Tips For Creating Better Online Dating Profile Pictures:

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

1. No Blurry Pictures

This is pretty self explanatory, but you should never put blurry pictures of yourself on your online dating profile or you might as well hide your face altogether.

Your pictures are supposed to let people know what you look like.

But, when you put blurry pictures on your profile it can be deceiving or give someone the impression that you have something to hide. Be honest and show who you really are.

2. No Pictures of Pictures

Profile pictures are supposed to show the best you. But, even if the best picture of you only exists in hard copy and there’s no digital version, you still CANNOT take a picture of that picture.

Let’s be honest too, if your best picture is only in the form of a hard copy and there’s no digital copy as well, the picture is way too old to be used on your dating profile.

With the advancements of technology, there’s no reason why you should have to take a picture of a printed photo.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. No Pictures With People of The Opposite Sex

You should never use pictures of yourself with someone of the opposite sex because you can give people the wrong impression about the relationship you have with that person.

I know many women that have later found out that the woman in a picture with their online date was actually the man’s wife or girlfriend. And, these experiences lead women to mistrust and write off other men who have women in their profile pictures.

Even if the person in your picture is truthfully just a friend, you don’t want to give prospective matches the opportunity to make a snap judgment about who you’re with in your pictures and move on to the next profile.

Don’t give anyone the chance to fill in the blanks about the relationships you have with people in your pictures.

4. No Less Than 3 Pictures on Your Profile, But No More than 5

Your online dating profile pictures should consist of 1 or 2 head shots, 1 or 2 full body shots, and an optional activity photo that shows you doing an activity or hobby you enjoy.

You want to give a little variety in your pictures to give someone a better sense of what you actually look like. When you only use one picture or a few pictures that show you from the same exact angle, you’re not allowing a person to know what you really look like.

We all know that sometimes a person’s “best angle” isn’t necessarily a good reflection of how the person normally looks!

5. Your Pictures Cannot Be More Than A Year Old

This is a pretty straight forward tip, you know why you shouldn’t use old pictures on your dating profile. Your profile is supposed to show people what you currently look like, not what you looked like in your best years or at your lowest weight.

There is an exception to this rule though… If you’re one of those people who always looks the same and doesn’t really age, you can use an older picture of yourself as long as you look the same exact way today.

If you have pictures that are less than a year old but you’ve changed your look, then you need to take new pictures for your profile. So, if you’ve change your hair, lost a lot of weight, or gained a lot of weight, you need to take new photos and update your profile pictures!

Need More Help With Your Dating Profile Pictures?

While you don’t need to use a professional photographer to take your pictures for your online dating profile, you can use an online dating photographer who will take natural pictures that will capture your true and realistic beauty.

If you live in the UK and you’re interested in taking pictures with an online dating photographer, check out this Facebook page: Saturday Night’s Alright

If you live in the US and would like referrals for online dating photographers, email me at Dee@DeesDatingDiary.com.

Don’t forget, I’ve dedicated the month of October to online dating, so stay tuned for more great online dating tips to come!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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Has Online Dating Changed The Dating Game?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In this technologically advanced era, online dating has quickly gained momentum in the dating world.

Before the creation of online dating, meeting a potential dating partner meant going out to events, parties, and different social settings to meet that special person.

But, with the internet, social media, and advent of phone apps, daily face to face human interactions has significantly decreased.

And, with decreased face to face interactions, online dating provides a platform for people to still connect, interact, and date.

Image courtesy of Brian Holm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Brian Holm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Online Dating Has Changed The Dating Game

While most people are hidden behind their phones, computers, and other devices, preventing them from having meaningful interactions with new people, online dating provides a great opportunity to meet potential matches.

What was once considered to be extremely taboo is now acceptable and actually pretty commonplace.

In fact, online dating has shaped much of today’s dating interactions.

More and more people are meeting their husbands and wives through online dating websites.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is It Time To Try Online Dating?

If you’re single and hesitant to pursue online dating because of the negative connotations that existed when online dating first hit the scene, it’s time to start rethinking your position!

If you find it easy to meet new people to date, then online dating isn’t a resource that you have to force yourself to use.

However, if you’re often busy, work a lot, or have the kind of lifestyle that prevents you from meeting new people, then online dating is a resource you should definitely consider using!

 

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Safety Risks In Online Dating

Although online dating can still present some safety risks, taking the proper precautions can alleviate many of the risks that have been associated with online dating.

For example, your first few dates should always be at a public place with lots of people.

But, don’t worry, I’ll address all the necessary safety precautions you should take in online dating this month!

I have officially dedicated the month of October to online dating. All of my posts this month will provide valuable advice for pursuing your online dating life. So, stay tuned!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

 

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No More Boomeranging!!

Do You Feel Pressure to Get Married?

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Although we live in an era where men and women are getting married at much older ages, this shift hasn’t affected men as much as it has affected women.

Society accepts men being “bachelors” for a longer period of time now. Man can live the bachelor life well into their 30’s without repercussions.

And, in contrast to women, when men are ready to settle down in a relationship in their older age, they are still considered very eligible bachelors.

But, when a woman is over 30, she isn’t necessarily viewed as a very “eligible” bachelorette.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why The Pressure to Get Married?

Most women in their mid 20’s or even earlier start feeling pressure from their family or friends to find a boyfriend, get married, and have kids.

Most of our parents and grandparents grew up in an era where getting married at a young age was the norm.

Women went from their parent’s house straight to their husband’s house and being married by 18 wasn’t seen the way it is today.

With this, you can understand why older generations don’t necessarily understand a woman’s choice to remain single past the age of about 20.

Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Double Standard

It’s a shame that as a single woman ages, sometimes her value in the eyes of the world tends to decrease while a man’s value tends to increase as he ages.

It’s a clear double standard.

Men age, cultivate their careers, and build their wealth and this makes them more desirable, eligible bachelors to women.

But, it’s not necessarily the same for women. A 40-year old man with his career together is more sought after than a 40 year old woman with her career and life together.

Image courtesy of Kongsky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Kongsky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Fight The Pressure to Get Married?

Here’s the problem…

If you do fall victim to society’s pressure to get married before you’ve met your match, you’ll quickly pick and marry a man who isn’t right for you.

You’ll settle. You’ll let go of all those things you’ve wanted for yourself and pretty much just take what you can get at the moment.

Because, time is of the essence right?

When you feel pressure to be married, you have to remember that settling for any man won’t make you happy in the long run!

Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Whose Life Is It? 

While your family and friends may encourage you to settle down with someone who isn’t right for you, you have to remember that it’s YOU who has to be with this person for the rest of your life, not your family or friends!

Your family and friends won’t have to deal with those problems that come with dating and marrying the wrong person, you will!!

Despite the world wanting you to be married, you can’t let this run you into the arms of Mr. Wrong.

Hold out for your Mr. Right, as hard as that may be! He will come along one day and the wait will certainly be worth it!!

Stay strong my single ladies!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

 

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Are You Turning Men or Women Off On Dates?

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

On first dates, you’re essentially selling your best self!

First dates are your opportunity to show a person the best of who you are, whatever that may be.

Ultimately, people fall in love for the good in someone, not the bad.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Accentuate The Positive

The reality is, you attract people with positive points not negative ones. So, you should always lead with the positive!

Once a person likes you, he or she can more easily overlook your flaws.

But, when you lay your problems on the table too soon, you can easily scare a person off.

When your dates reflect back on the time you both shared together, you want them to have positive feelings about you and the experience.

You definitely don’t want to leave a bitter taste in their mouth. But, when you bring up your problems on first dates, that’s exactly what you do!

Compare with Friendships

Think about your friendships. It’s the good things about your friends and the positive times shared that built and strengthened the friendship.

We all learn about flaws that we may not necessarily care for in our friends, but we accept those flaws. And, why is this?

It’s because of the positive foundation that the friendship was built on.

Taking this analogy back to dating… Once you’ve started to build the foundation of your relationship, a person can easily overlook your flaws and accept you for the complete person that you are.

But, when you put your flaws on the table on your first few dates, you’re just giving your date reasons to write you off for a potential relationship.

Image courtesy of Nuttakit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Nuttakit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Your Date Will Learn With Time

We all know that no one is perfect, but there’s really no point in even talking about your issues on first dates because, in time, they will all be known anyway!

A new person you’re dating should learn about your flaws naturally, in the course of dating and getting to know you. Not because you threw it in his or her face.

Putting yourself down won’t get you positive results in dating, so leave the negative feelings about yourself at the door and remember to accentuate your positives!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

 

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When You Should Cancel Your Date

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

First dates are crucial in determining whether someone will be a good match. In a world where people make snap judgments about each other, it’s extremely important to put your best foot forward on your dates.

A first date is your opportunity to make a connection and enjoy your time with your date.

But, there are things that can get in the way of you making a great connection on a good date.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When You Should Cancel Your Date

A serious problem I’ve often seen with women is their decision to go on a date when they’ve had a bad day.

Now, I’m not just talking about any bad day. I’m talking about the kind of bad day that leaves you bitter, defensive, and on the brink of an emotional outburst.

I’ve seen women get aggressive, take simple statements or compliments the wrong way, make offensive remarks, and even take anger out on their date. All because they had a terrible day at work.

No one is immune from having a bad day, but not everyone has the ability to have a bad day and then go on a date with a positive, upbeat attitude.

If this is you, then it’s time to add this rule to your rulebook: If you’ve had a bad day and won’t be able to maintain a positive, friendly, and upbeat attitude then you need to cancel your date and reschedule for another day.

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s A Risk Worth Taking

You may be thinking, “I don’t want to cancel the date just because I’ve had a bad day! What if he doesn’t want to reschedule?”

But, think about it like this, it’s better to take that chance and cancel the date because if you do go on the date with a bad attitude, you’re definitely going to cross yourself off as a potential dating partner.

Better you try to reschedule the date than leave a bitter taste in your date’s mouth.

Plus, if a person is really interested in getting to know you, rescheduling the date shouldn’t be a problem!

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When Is It Okay NOT to Cancel The Date?

Once you’ve been on several dates, this rule doesn’t necessarily apply.

Because, if you really want to build a future with someone, you will go through ups and downs together and you need to know that your partner can give you the support and encouragement you need during difficult times.

But, this still does not give you a pass to have attitude or treat your date or boyfriend poorly.

So, the next time your bad day coincides with a date, give yourself time to readjust your attitude and reschedule the date for another day!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

 

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Is Your Laundry List Holding You Back From Getting A Quality Man?

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Many women have an image of who their ideal partner would be based on certain characteristics they possess. The problem? Their laundry list.

The Laundry List

A laundry list is basically a list of things a woman wants in a man.

The problem with the laundry list is that most of the attributes on these lists don’t necessarily speak to a man being a quality person that you should date.

Many women’s laundry list reads like this: Must make over 100k (or insert any amount here), must be physically fit, must be tall, must have this type of car, and the list goes on.

While it’s definitely necessary to have an idea of the type of man that’s a good match for you, your laundry list should have more depth. The items on this list should address qualities that are common to good men.

Image courtesy of Digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Make A Viable List

Here’s a helpful exercise to help you widdle down your laundry list to the most important qualities you want in a man.

First, write down all the things you feel you want in a long term partner.

Second, choose 3 to 5 items on your list that aren’t references to superficial qualities.

Superficial qualities would be income, physique, car, etc. These things are superficial because they can easily change and don’t address any characteristics that make up a good man.

These 3 to 5 items are the only items that you should deeply contemplate when picking a man to date.

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Reality Check

I know it would be nice to have the rest of the things that are on your list, but let those other items be bonuses and not deal-breakers.

You should be extremely flexible in those items that are outside of your core 3 to 5 attributes.

Get real with your laundry list and don’t let it hold you back from getting the quality man you really want to date!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

 

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Never Give Up Hope!

Image courtesy of Marcolm/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Marcolm/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

With failed date after failed date, it’s easy to get discouraged about your chances of success in dating. Even a lack of a dating life can make a woman feel like finding her match may be hopeless.

Too often, I hear women speak negatively about their chances of finding a good man. They say all men cheat, all men are inconsiderate, or all men are dogs.

These negative statements about men and dating actually hurt your chances of finding a great relationship.

Think about it this way, if you say there are no good men out there, you will allow yourself to settle for a man who isn’t good. Why? Because you believe good men don’t exist!

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Increase Your Chances of Attracting A Great Relationship
If you want to increase your chances of attracting a great relationship, you have to first believe that it CAN happen. Your negativity about dating only hurts yourself.

While I understand how numerous encounters with crappy guys can change your perspective about the prevalence of quality men in the world, this is actually the worst thing you can let yourself do.

When you have negative thoughts and beliefs about dating, you better believe that these feelings can come out in your dates with men. Your choice of words, body language, and actions can tell a date exactly how you feel.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Stop The Negativity
So, it’s really important not to let your negativity about dating spill over into your dates. And, how do you do this? By stopping the negativity all together!

No matter what you’ve been through in your relationships, online dating, or the dating world in general, stay positive about dating so you can bring about positive results in your own dating life!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

 

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Do You Share the Same Values?

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Having shared values can definitely reduce the amount of disagreements you have in various areas of your relationship.

For example, if you both want to have kids but practice different religions, there could be serious disagreements over how to raise the children.

But, this is not to say that if you don’t share most of the same values your relationship won’t work. I’m not saying that all!!

Ultimately, it comes down to each persons ability to compromise and be flexible in their “ways.”

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Don’t Count Him Out!

The truth is, you could meet a great man that doesn’t share the same beliefs as you, but is accepting of your choice and willing to expose your children to both religions.

So, try to not get caught up in having all of the same beliefs as your man and keep yourself open to great men that could come along in very different packages!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Family Won’t Forget Your Boyfriend’s Bad Behavior

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What can you expect from your family and friends when you tell them about your boyfriend’s bad behavior and decide to stay in the relationship anyway?

First, you can expect them to write your boyfriend off as a good match for you. They certainly won’t be as supportive of your relationship with him after his wrongdoing.

Second, the negative feelings your family and friends have towards your boyfriend’s wrongdoing could translate to tension, awkwardness, or flat out animosity between your loved ones and your man.

When a woman’s boyfriend and her family don’t get along, the unfortunate consequence is that she may start seeing her family much less, if at all.

Sadly, the tension between your family and boyfriend and the ill-feelings that are harbored often times results in a woman choosing her boyfriend over her family.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Your Family Didn’t Forgive Him

You have to remember, your family isn’t the one who forgives your boyfriend of his wrongdoing, it’s you that forgives him.

And, although you may forgive your man for cheating or some other egregious act, your family and friends will never forget what he did to you or how he hurt you.

Your boyfriend may have apologized to you profusely and showered you with gifts or affection, but your family and friends aren’t on the receiving end of this. So, its much harder for them to let go of your man’s bad behavior since they aren’t a part of the “making up process.”

On top of that, your loved ones may not be willing to sugarcoat their feelings or “play nice” with your boyfriend when he’s around.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Don’t Expect Family to Support Your Decision

So, if you plan on staying with your boyfriend after he’s hurt you in some way, don’t expect your family to be supportive of your decision!

Don’t be mad when your family and friends don’t condone your relationship or aren’t even willing to hide their true feelings about your man.

While you don’t want there to be tension between your family and boyfriend, staying in a bad relationship could result in exactly that!

Do you really feel that your family will want you to stay in an unhealthy or dysfunctional relationship? Not a chance!

The reality is, having family and friends that care about your well-being is much more important than having people in your life that are willing to support or encourage your destructive decisions.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Date The Man You Want!!

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Often times, women are so eager to have a boyfriend or get married that they allow themselves to date the first man that comes along who is open to a relationship.

Unfortunately, many women fail to determine whether a man is a quality person, let alone the right man for them.

With their sights set on marriage and kids, some women will overlook the fact that a man lacks certain important qualities.

Date The Man You Actually Want!

What many women fail to realize is that who you date is ultimately who you marry.

If he acts a certain way when you’re dating, you best believe he’s going to act the exact same way if you get married too!

Neither you nor a marriage can change a man into something that he is not.

In fact, whatever he is now may be amplified over the years so make sure a man is actually right for you before jumping into a relationship with him.

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Don’t Try To Change A Man

It’s very foolish to think you can change a man.

So, instead of dating any man that’s willing to call you his girlfriend, take the time to decipher whether a person is right for you and whether you’d be a good match.

If you feel the need to change a man, then you’re in the wrong relationship!

Save yourself the time and heartache and date the man who actually is who you want to date!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Clean Up For Your Date

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

First impressions are everything!

While you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, many people make snap judgments based on what they immediately see and aren’t willing to stick around to learn much more.

Making good first impressions doesn’t just apply to how you look the first time you meet someone.

You also need to make a good first impression when a new person you’re dating comes to your home!

Image courtesy of Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Clean It Up!

It’s really important that you clean your home and make it nice and neat before you have a new dating companion come over.

If you have clothes thrown everywhere and dirty dishes piled up in the sink, your date might feel like it isn’t a place where they’d want to spend much of their time, if any.

It’s okay if you tend to have the “organized mess” or just the messy mess altogether, but you definitely want your date to feel comfortable in your home.

Image courtesy of Varandah / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Varandah / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Normally A Messy Person?

People that tend to be messy sometimes think, “Hey, I’m a messy person and anyone I date needs to be able to accept that!”

Although this is true to an extent, letting a new person see you live in a pigsty may be very off-putting for them.

When someone gets to know you better and develops feelings for you they can more easily overlook some messy habits.

But, if you expose someone to your unclean home too soon, it could be more difficult to be overlooked.

So, take the time to clean up your home before your date comes over!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

Last week I discussed 5 red flags that men need to pay attention to, so this week I’ve addressed 5 red flags that women should watch for. I wrote this article for Singles Warehouse and you can access it on their website here: 5 Red Flags For Women To Watch For

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

5 Red Flags Men Need To Watch For

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

While I normally address red flags that women should be watchful for with men, I want to focus on 5 red flags that men need to watch for with women.

Although some men are great at identifying red flags that tell you a woman may not be good relationship material, some men don’t readily notice these clues.

So, here are 5 Red Flags That Men Need To Watch For:

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

1. She Talks About The Future Too Soon

Talking about “the future” too soon is definitely a red flag that you need to pay attention to. This is a sign that she may try to force the progression of your relationship.

Listen carefully when your date is speaking. If she uses the word “we” a lot, then you have a good idea of what you may be getting yourself into by continuing to date this woman.

If a woman is making plans for the both of you and it’s only your second date, you can’t act surprised when soon after she’s trying to pressure you into a relationship and then marriage!

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

2. She’s Needy, Clingy, or Desperate

It’s never a good idea to date a needy or clingy woman. Clinginess is a sign that a woman will have dependency issues in the relationship.

Dating a woman that is completely dependent on you is detrimental to having a healthy relationship.

A needy woman requires A LOT of attention and pacifying. She can’t be alone and she’ll want to spend all of her time with you, which could make you feel suffocated by her attention.

Image courtesy of Stockimages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. She Talks About Her Ex

Talking about exes on the first few dates is a HUGE red flag! If she’s talking about her ex-boyfriend on a date with you, face it, she’s NOT over him.

You don’t want to have to deal with the emotional baggage she’s carrying from her last relationship.

Some women don’t take the necessary time to deal with issues from their previous relationship and actually HEAL before getting back into the dating world.

If you don’t want to deal with a woman’s issues that another man caused, then steer clear of the woman who can’t help but talk about her ex!

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

4. She’s Jealous Or Snoops

If your date makes a reference to you being a player type or suggests that you must date many women, and you’re not, this is a red flag that she may be the jealous type.

You don’t want to date a woman who is jealous for no reason because this will play out in your relationship if you decide to date her exclusively.

With a jealous woman, she may accuse you of cheating or even snoop through your phone or other things. Dating a jealous woman is not conducive to having a happy or healthy relationship.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5. She’s Insecure or Lacks Self-Confidence

If a woman is very insecure and lacks self-confidence, this is a sign that you will have to put A LOT of effort into dating this woman.

This is because an insecure woman requires a lot of emotional work and, therefore, a lot of emotional support from you.

While it may seem admirable to take this relationship on and try to help your girlfriend work through her self-worth issues, true change can only come from her.

There’s nothing you can do to make her secure about herself. It’s called “SELF-” worth and “SELF-” confidence for a reason, it has to come from her, NOT you!

Any Thoughts?

What are your experiences with dealing with these kinds of red flags? I’d love to hear your stories and perspectives, so please leave a comment below!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Do Men Want to Date New Millennium Women?

Check out this article I wrote for Digital Romance Inc. This is a read you definitely don’t want to miss! You can find my article Here.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

4 Problems with Drinking on First Dates

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you go out on a date, you hope to have great conversation and make a great connection. But sometimes, nervous or anxious feelings prevent us from maximizing our connection with a date.

For some people, drinking alcohol seems like a great way to loosen up and make the date a more fluid and enjoyable one.

However, while alcohol may temporarily ease that nervous energy, there’s a fine line between easing your tension and destroying the possibility of making a genuine connection with your date.

Image courtesy of Marin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Marin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What’s Wrong With Drinking on First Dates?

Alcohol can easily have a negative effect on your date. You may become a little too loosened up by the alcohol, which could lead to a number of problems on the date.

Here are 4 problems with drinking on first dates:

  1. You might divulge way too much information too soon (To find out what “too much information too soon” is, check out my post on the topic Here);
  2. You might bring up inappropriate first date topics like religion, politics, exes, and more;
  3. You might make inappropriate comments that offend your date; and
  4. You might have a false sense that you made a real connection with your date.
Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

False Sense Of Making A Connection

One of the worst problems with drinking on first dates is the fact that the alcohol could lead you to feeling that you’ve made a genuine connection with your date when, in fact, you haven’t made a connection at all.

By the end of the date, you may feel much closer to your date and “connected” while your date feels annoyed, offended, or completely disinterested.

Consuming alcohol makes it more difficult to recognize those subtle clues that let you know whether someone is interested in you or not.

In fact, alcohol can make you flat out misinterpret social cues that tell you a person is uncomfortable with your behavior, language, or conversation topics

Image courtesy of Cbenjasuwan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Cbenjasuwan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Make A Love Connection!

In order to increase your chances of making a genuine connection or recognizing when there isn’t one, stick to ONE alcoholic drink on your date.

If you’re a more frequent or regular drinker, then you may bump this up to two. But, under no circumstances should you have more than 1-2 drinks on your first few dates!

Digital Romance Inc.

I’ve written an article for Digital Romance Inc. and it will be published on their website tomorrow! This is definitely a read you don’t want to miss!!

I’m really excited to write for Digital Romance Inc! Their “goal is to give you solutions to the entire range of relationship problems that people have been experiencing for… well, for as long as people have had relationships.”

Check out my website tomorrow for a direct link to my article!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Increase Your Chances of Making a Connection

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Ideally, we all want to go out on a new date and make a great connection. We’d love to immediately “click” with the other person and hit it off!

But, not everyone is meant to make a connection that, ultimately, sparks a great relationship.

While you won’t always make a connection with new dates, there are things you can do to increase your chances of making a great connection on your next date.

Image courtesy of Patrisyu / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Patrisyu / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The On-Hand Technology Dilemma 

In this day and age, we have all become so attached to technology and our little gadgets that we often let it get in the way of fully living and enjoying the moment.

We are constantly checking our phone for texts, emails, or calls and it’s to the detriment of what we have going on in front of us.

It’s not possible to be 100% in the moment while your using or checking your phone.

And, you better believe that people can sense when you’re not “in the conversation” and this can limit the amount of effort that a person will make in trying to talk to you or connect with you.

So, with the compulsion we feel towards constantly utilizing our technology, how can we prevent this from interfering with our dates and every day life?

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Turn The Technology Off

In order to increase your chances of making a genuine connection on your dates, you need to turn your technology off!

Now, I do understand that going on a date with someone new can present questions of safety, which necessitates access to your phone in case of an emergency.

However, you can put your phone on vibrate and keep it in your pocket or purse if you won’t feel compelled to pull it out the second it vibrates.

If you can’t keep yourself from checking your phone when you feel it vibrate, then you need to completely turn it off on your date or keep it in your car.

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Make A Connection

It’s nearly impossible to make a connection with someone you don’t know when your face is buried in your phone.

It’s one thing if your expecting a really important phone call, in which case, you should let your date know that you’re expecting an important phone call so they won’t feel unimportant or ignored on the date.

Considering that it’s not always easy to make a connection with someone new, you have to know that regularly checking your phone will actually hurt the flow of conversation and take you “out of the moment.”

In remaining connected to the conversation, and thus, your date, you make it much easier to make a great connection.

Image courtesy of Marin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Marin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Conversation Is A Two-Way Street

Conversation on a date is not a one-way street. It takes the effort of both people.

If your focus is on your phone and who’s texting or emailing you, you won’t be putting in the requisite amount of effort you need in order to continue the fluidity of your conversation.

Therefore, if you want to increase your chances of making a great connection on your next date, you need to turn your technology off!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Are We Learning or Barely Discerning?: Serial Relationships

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You’re not necessarily supposed to be in a relationship for every year of your adult life. Yet, you’ll often find women who are envious of their friends with serial relationships.

You know the women I’m talking about, the ones who are never single for more than a few weeks at a time, the ones who jump from one relationship to the very next without even batting an eye. They’ve always had serial relationships.

But, these are not women to be jealous or envious of.

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How Many Relationships Should You Have?

If you’re wondering how many relationships you’re supposed to have, realize that there is no magic number that’s going to bring you any closer to your “Mr. Right.”

Your chances of meeting the right man and getting married is not dependent upon the number of relationships that you’ve had in your life.

At the end of the day, what’s truly important is your ability to learn from your past relationships in order to recognize and change those things that prevent you from attracting quality men and healthy relationships.

If you jump from relationship to relationship without taking the time to think about the choices you made or bad behavior you accepted, you’ll continue to have bad relationship after bad relationship and you’ll face the same issues each time if not worse.

 

Image courtesy of Photostock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Inhibiting Self-Awareness & Change

Some women won’t leave a bad relationship until there’s another man to latch onto and this isn’t healthy at all. In doing this, you avoid facing and addressing serious issues you have with yourself and your relationships.

Going from relationship to relationship, doesn’t give yourself enough time to heal, learn, and grow from that experience. But, why is this important?

It’s important because you’ll never learn the lessons you’re supposed to from your past relationships with men. It’s important because you’ll continue to choose the wrong kind of men and make the same mistakes over and over.

Serial relationships don’t enable you to do the deep soul-searching that needs to be done to figure out why you chose to date your ex, what mistakes you made, and what changes need to be made in your dating life.

Be accountable, be knowledgable of your actions and yourself, take the time to reflect on your relationship and heal before you look to getting into another one!

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Envying A Healthy Relationship?

Some women are jealous of another woman’s serial relationships, not because those relationships are healthy or have a great dynamic, but simply because they just want a boyfriend too.

Most of the time, when women are envious of their friends with serial relationships, those relationships are usually unhealthy ones that shouldn’t be envied at all.

The truth is, you should never envy another person’s relationship. The old saying is certainly true, “The grass isn’t greener on the other side.”

Unfortunately, many women are more than happy to put up fake fronts about how great their relationship is, even if she’s miserable in it.

Therefore, you should never get caught up wanting what someone else has. You never know what really goes on behind closed doors.

Don’t Entertain Self-Doubt

When you have a friend that easily finds her next relationship, it may make you look at yourself and wonder why you aren’t able to do the same.

But, you aren’t inadequate or lacking in any way simply because you haven’t had as many relationships as your friends or because you’ve been single for awhile.

Don’t be jealous or envious of your friends that always have a man. Focus on growing as a person and taking much needed lessons from your past relationships and dealings with men so your next relationship will be a better and healthier one!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

 

For more great dating advice and must-read dating articles, Follow me on Twitter Here and on Facebook Here

Red Flag: He “Fell Asleep”

Image courtesy of StockImages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This week, I wanted to address a very common red flag that most younger women tend to overlook.

How many times have you had plans with a man just for him to be a “no call, no show?”

You made plans the day before or even days in advance, but when the time comes to see each other he’s not picking up his phone. And, he’s definitely not calling back.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What Does “Falling Asleep” On You Mean?

If a man stands you up and tells you the next day that he “fell asleep,” trust me, HE’S LYING!

The harsh reality is that he’s not into you at all! Men don’t fall asleep when they have plans with a woman.

Most likely, he found something better to do, maybe with another woman, or he wasn’t even in the mood to talk to you or deal with you at all.

It’s sad that some men don’t even have enough respect for a woman to call her and cancel their plans. The truth is, he shouldn’t have made plans with you in the first place.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This Won’t Be The Last Time

One thing that I can guarantee you though, if a man tells you that he fell asleep when you had plans, this won’t be the last time that he’s a “no call, no show.”

The only difference will be that each time he “disappears” on you like this, he’s excuses will get bigger and bigger.

It could go from “falling asleep” to “losing his phone” to “being sick in the hospital.”

Image courtesy of Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How Do You Handle It?

When the guy you had plans with doesn’t call you or return your call, either you start worrying about his well-being OR you get pissed!

Pissed that he’s standing you up. Pissed that he doesn’t have the decency to call or cancel the date. Pissed that he put you through this (and you got all cute and everything too)!

Now, some women in this position will call the man once or twice while others will blow up his phone all night and probably leave a few voicemails or texts cursing him out.

All of that is unnecessary though! When a man stands you up, the last thing you need to do is worry about his well-being, blow up his phone, or waste your energy cursing him out!

Image courtesy of PhotoStock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of PhotoStock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Did You Push For The Date?

Interestingly enough though, women usually encounter these situations when they are the ones pursuing the man. Think about it.

If this has ever happened to you, were you the one that pushed the topic of getting together? Did he actually say he wanted to do something with you or did he just agree to your suggestion to meet?

It’s important not to chase men into relationships. You may get some attention from your efforts, but it may not be lasting.

Let a man go after you so that you don’t force yourself on someone that just isn’t that into you.

The next time a man “falls asleep” on you, drop him like a hot potato and never look back!!

For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Stay Connected With Dee’s Dating Diary

For more great dating advice and must-read articles, follow Dee’s Dating Diary on Facebook and Twitter!

Follow Me On Facebook HereDee’s Dating Diary

Follow Me  On Twitter Here: @DeesDatingDiary

Who Comes First in a Relationship?

Image courtesy of Stockimages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Many times when women are in a relationship, they put their boyfriends before themselves. They do what’s in their beaux’s best interest, but not their own.

Unless you’re engaged or married, you have to put yourself first!

Image courtesy of Ambro/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Lost Opportunities

In a relationship, you’re still two separate people with separate lives. While you try to be a part of each other’s lives, what’s in each person’s best interest may be very different.

For example, you may get a great job offer that could take your career to the next level.

However, because they job is in a different city or state, you may pass up on the opportunity in order to stay closer to your man.

While his best interest is for you to stay, your best interest is to leave and take the job. You’re best interest should take priority over his.

The truth is, you have to continue to pursue your dreams or what’s best for your career while you’re in a relationship. If you don’t, you’ll eventually regret these missed opportunities.

Image courtesy of Stockimages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Will He Move With You?

If a man loves you and feels strongly enough about you, he will follow you wherever you go. If he doesn’t, then he won’t.

Now, there is an exception to this rule. If his career has no mobility or there isn’t a demand for his expertise in the new city, then moving may mean career suicide for him.

Perhaps his career is client-based and moving would mean starting over or changing careers altogether. This is definitely something that also has to be taken into consideration.

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Stay True To Yourself

Unless there’s a ring on your finger, you’d be doing yourself a disservice to plan and live your life around a man.

It’s very important that you don’t lose sight of yourself while you’re in a relationship.

Always follow your dreams and do what’s in your best interest so that, at the end of the day, you won’t have to live with any regret over lost opportunities.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Stay Connected With Dee’s Dating Diary

For more great dating advice and must-read articles, follow Dee’s Dating Diary on Facebook and Twitter!

Follow Me On Facebook Here: Dee’s Dating Diary

Follow Me  On Twitter Here: @DeesDatingDiary

Dating Down

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In this day and age, it’s quite unfortunate that you see so many women “dating down.”

But, what is dating down, you ask?

Dating down is when you date men that aren’t good for you or worthy of you.

Image courtesy of Nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Common Types of “Dating Down”

If you’re dating a man that doesn’t respect and cherish you and the value that you bring to the relationship, and instead, puts you down, cheats on you, abuses you or controls your every movement, then you’re dating down.

Do you have to fight for attention? Ask your man to call you? Or remind him that you exist?? You’re dating down.

Are you an ambitious, driven, well-educated woman dating a man who isn’t ambitious or driven to, for example, learn a trade/skill, pursue entrepreneurial endeavors, or pursue a higher education? Well, you’re dating down.

Are you supporting a man that isn’t self sufficient? Whether he’s “borrowing” your money or your car, face it, you’re dating down!

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Problems With Dating Down

When you date down, you open yourself up to significant problems that you shouldn’t have to deal with.

These relationships negatively affect your self-esteem. You’ll probably start to think that this is what you deserve. That you’ll never find better.

You’ll eventually downplay your self-worth and, consequently, your self-confidence will dwindle as well.

When you’re treated poorly or stay in the wrong relationship, you’ll get desensitized to those things that you shouldn’t have to accept.

The chances of your next relationship being healthier or better is slim because you’ve gotten used to accepting less than what you need and deserve from a relationship. This easily turns into a cycle.

You may even falsely believe that it’s better to have this man than no man at all.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Ready For Change?

Dating down can lead you to resenting the man you’re dating because he’s not who you want him to be. But, truthfully, you can only blame yourself for choosing to date a man that wasn’t right for you in the first place.

If you’ve been dating down, you owe it to yourself to let that relationship go in order to attract a man who actually deserves you. A man who appreciates your worth, a man you don’t have to financially support, a man who has ambition.

Give yourself a chance to attract a man that is on your level. Someone who is self sufficient and can pay his own bills and maintain his own car.

You’ll never have a better relationship as long as you stay in the wrong one. So free yourself now, as hard as it may be, so that you can have true happiness in the future.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Dating With Daddy Issues

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There are some women who have a preference for dating older men while other women just “happen” into these relationships.

Majority of the time, women date older men that remind them of their fathers or who fulfill some fatherly role for them.

Although this happens more so with women who grew up without a father in their life, even women who did have a father growing up find themselves looking to an older man for certain qualities or support that a father would provide.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dating Older Men

The truth is, you shouldn’t be dating a man because he provides you with something you’re father never did or used to when he was alive.

Dating an older man can be tricky because sometimes you’ll find that older men play just as many games with your heart as younger men, except they’re much better at the game than any youngster out there!

Older men understand women much more and can easily use that to manipulate a younger woman’s mind and emotions.

You definitely need to understand whether your feelings for an older man are genuine or a by-product of missing or craving some fatherly like fulfillment in your life.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Aging Out”

When you date an older man you always have to worry about whether you’re going to “age out” of the relationship.

Meaning, you’ll constantly be stressing about whether you’re getting too old for your older man.He may just have a thing for younger women.

He may like the ease that comes with dating a younger, more naive person.

Image courtesy of StockImages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Relationship Awareness

Just be cognizant of the reasons you and your older man want a relationship with each other.

Make sure it’s coming from a healthy place on BOTH sides!

Deal with your daddy issues and make sure you aren’t replacing your father with your boyfriend.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

He Can’t Complete You!

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Many women feel they need a man to “complete” them. They’ll say a man is their “better half” or “he completes me.”

But, the truth is, a man can’t complete you. Only you can complete you! Two halves won’t actually make a whole, so you need to feel whole with or without a man.

It’s unfair to yourself to base your completeness and happiness on whether you’re in a relationship.

And, if you do, you’ll be miserable when you’re single and possibly desperate for any man who will show you attention.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What’s The Root of the Issue?

To say that a man completes you, is to say that you have some void in your life without a man.

You have to be complete on your own before entering a relationship or this could cause other serious issues with your boyfriend.

Ultimately, dependency issues may be at the root of needing a man to “complete” you. Are you clingy or needy in your relationships?

You may find yourself not wanting to do any activities without your boyfriend. Or, maybe you don’t want him to do any activities without you.

Either way, falling victim to this “he completes me” mentality may lead you to becoming unhealthily dependent on your boyfriend and relationship.

It’s time to start evaluating yourself. You need to figure out why you think you need a man to complete you.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Actualization

If you say that a man completes you, then you’re incomplete when he’s gone. What are you when your “better half” leaves?

Why aren’t you a complete person without a man?

Honestly think about these questions so that you can help yourself come to terms with the fact that you’re an amazing woman who doesn’t need any person to complete you!

You are and always will be a whole person. You were born as a complete woman and to allow yourself to think otherwise is absurd.

A man is meant to complement who you are, NOT complete you! Remember that!!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Choose Your Battles Wisely!

Image courtesy of Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I know we’ve all heard the saying, “Choose your battles wisely.” But, for many women their understanding of this statement is superficial.

There are very specific reasons why you have to choose your battles wisely.

For one, if someone feels like you’re always “nagging” them, they’ll get tired of it really quickly.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Urge To Push

Many times when women feel like there’s a problem with something their boyfriend is or isn’t doing, they will tell him about it and push him for change, over and over again.

The problem is, one day you’ll encounter a serious problem in your relationship and when you address it, he may be so tired of constantly being told about your problems with him that he won’t genuinely hear what you’re saying, whether it’s valid or not.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Effect of Constantly “Nagging”

Even if he does hear you out, even if you’re problem is legitimate, he may be so fed up with all the “issues” you have that he won’t be motivated to change anything else. He may think that no amount of change will be enough for you.

Now, it’s not that a man doesn’t want to know about serious issues that you’re having with him, but the truth is, when you’ve brought up too many petty, unimportant issues it’s very difficult to be taken seriously.

While communication is key in any relationship, if you choose to focus on small things that you possibly should be learning to live with, you actually weaken your voice and hurt your chance of being listened to.

If you want to choose your battles wisely, start by evaluating whether your issue is really an issue. If it’s really not a big deal, let it go. If it is a big deal or even a deal breaker, definitely address it!

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Focus On One Issue 

Often times when women are addressing an issue with their boyfriend, they bring up so many other issues at the same time, that it becomes extremely difficult for their boyfriend to understand “the point” and focus on the most important issue.

If you bring up multiple issues in one discussion, your boyfriend may heavily focus on the wrong issue and upset you even more by not “getting it.”

But, this isn’t necessarily his fault. When we tie in several different problems into one discussion, it can make it much harder to logically follow what the problem is.

You actually make it more difficult to solve any one problem when you bring up other unrelated issues.

Therefore, to get the best results, you can only address one issue at a time. But, you have to fight the urge to bring up another issue immediately after one is resolved.

Although you may have smoothly resolved one issue, going through more than one issue in a day isn’t wise.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Positive Reinforcement

After you’ve resolved an issue with your boyfriend, thank him for listening to you. Thank him for opening up and honestly discussing his feelings.

Whether you think this is necessary or not, a small display of gratitude can go a long way.

Thanking your boyfriend for having an open, honest, productive conversation is positive reinforcement for him to do it again in the future.

You punish bad behavior, so you definitely need to reward good behavior. You should always show your boyfriend appreciation for his positive behavior.

Conclusion

Remember, if you’re always bringing up petty issues with your boyfriend, most likely, when you encounter a serious problem and bring it up, you’ll be tuned out and he may feel that you’ll always have some type of problem with him.

So, choose your battles wisely by only addressing important issues and focus on just one problem at a time.

You’ll find that it’s much easier to communicate and reach a happy resolution that way.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee