Do You Know Your Dating Flaws?

 

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As much as you may not want to hear this, everyone has dating flaws. The difference is in the people that recognize their flaws and actively work towards positive change. It’s true, no one is perfect and we can’t change everything about ourselves. But, for the things that we can change, we should work on them.

Everyone wants a good man or a good woman, but many people don’t think about the fact that a good man deserves a good woman (and vice versa). So, if you’re not getting the results that you want in your dating life, it’s time for some deep introspection!

You need to figure out where your dating or relationships are going wrong so that you can make an effort to improve your behavior in those areas.

Everyone wants dating tips and trick for landing a great person, but very few people are interested in bettering themselves to increase their chances of finding the one. You can have all the dating tips and tricks in the world, but if you’re not right inside, your relationship won’t be either.

Take the time to figure out what it is that has been holding you back in your dating life and work towards positive improvement. Then you can worry about tips and tricks for finding and keeping Mr. Right!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

Are You Downplaying His Negatives?

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sometimes, when a woman is dating a man, she downplays his negatives to maintain the viability of that relationship.

By “downplaying the negative,” I mean that a woman can be so eager to have a boyfriend and get married that she rationalizes or ignores the negatives she sees in a man. These “negatives” can be red flags, character faults, or problems that pop up while you’re dating.

The problem with downplaying the negative is that it often comes back to bite you in the, well, you know where! The things you ignore now and let go could cause serious problems in the relationship down the line.

How many times have you reflected back on a relationship after the break up just to realize that the signs that the relationship was doomed for failure were right in front of your face the whole time? If this has been you, you need to ask yourself whether it’s worth it to continue writing off men’s problems for the sake of being able to say you have a boyfriend or because he has things that are on your “laundry list,” like money.

Some women are so focused on making every relationship work that they forget that some relationships just aren’t meant to work. You do yourself no justice by trying to make a man “fit” your life. Sometimes, a man is just not right for you!

So, don’t downplay those significant negative qualities you see when you’re dating because it could be those exact same negative qualities that eventually end the relationship.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

P.S. If you’re not reflecting back on your relationship after a break up, you’re not learning the lessons that you need to learn in dating. Check out my post The Most Important Thing to do After a Break Up to learn how the relationship playback can help you! And, if you want to find out whether your “laundry list” is doing you justice, check out my post Is Your Laundry List Holding You Back From Getting A Quality Man?

3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Facebook Stalk An Ex

Image courtesy of Pixomar at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Pixomar at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Technology has made it far too easy to keep track of people’s lives. From Facebook to Twitter to Instagram and Snapchat, it’s so easy to keep tabs on an ex.

While we all have that moment at some point after a break up where we think, “I wonder what my ex is doing” or how he is doing or whether he is dating someone new, only some women have the will power to keep themselves from digging for info.

3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Facebook Stalk Your Ex 

There are several reasons why you shouldn’t Facebook stalk or social media stalk an ex, but here are 3:

1. You Can’t Move On.

It keeps you from really getting over the relationship and moving on. You can never truly move on when you’re still wrapped up in your ex’s life. How can you learn from your relationship and emotionally heal if you’re maintaining an unhealthy attachment to your ex.

2. You Won’t Like What You See.

What you find on social media is usually upsetting even if it’s absolutely nothing. For example, your ex may not be dating anyone new or working some great new job, but he looks real damn happy in his pictures and that’s enough to piss you off! You’re never going to like what you see.

3. You Need To Focus On You.

You need to be living your life and stop giving anymore time and attention to someone who is not right for you. In stalking your ex on social media, you’re just going to make yourself feel bad and, possibly, miss being with someone you weren’t meant to be with at all.

As much as you want to know what’s going on in your ex’s life, you have to let it go. Focus on bettering yourself.

You are a woman! You’re capable of bringing new life into this world. You have strength beyond your knowledge and you are certainly capable of keeping yourself off your ex’s social media.

Your ex didn’t think you were worth staying in a relationship with so why is he worth Facebook stalking? Don’t waste anymore energy on your exes, it’ll only keep you from allowing the right man into your life!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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Can You Admit To Being Wrong?

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As great as it feels to gloat about being right, you have to be able to humble yourself to admit when you’re wrong.

And, your ability to do this is definitely an indication of your maturity level.

Why Does It Matter?

People deserve to have the satisfaction of you acknowledging that you’re wrong in any given situation.

Admitting when you’re wrong allows people to feel better about talking to you and, ultimately, opening up. It lets them know that you do, in fact, listen to them.

Letting a person know that they have been heard sometimes means more than being right.

Show your boyfriend, girlfriend, friends, and family that you can take the time to hear them out and appreciate what they’re saying.

And, when you’re able to admit you’re wrong, it may make it easier for others to do the same with you.

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Perception Is Reality

If you know you’re wrong and don’t verbalize it, you can lead people to feel like you always think you’re right and aren’t willing to genuinely consider other people’s perspective.

Although this may not be the case, perception is reality. What people perceive you to be is what they will think you are regardless of whether it’s true or not.

So, make the effort to show people that you listen, consider the other side, and can admit when you’re wrong.

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

To Break Up Or Not To Break Up?

Dear Dee’s Dating Diary,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 4 years, and we have been to hell and back.. Unfortunately I cheated on him almost 2 years ago when I felt like he didn’t care about the relationship anymore and when he found out he all of a sudden cared more than anything in the world. I bring up the topic of marriage and he says that he isn’t over what I did just yet so I shouldn’t be expecting a ring anytime soon and that he’s in no rush to get married.. Should I stay or should I go? P.S he is 34 and I’m 26..

Dear Dater,

Wow, sounds like you have quite the dilemma on your hands. Here’s what I think:

If after 2 years your boyfriend still isn’t over you cheating on him, the likelihood of him ever getting past it is slim to none.

Unfortunately, cheating can really damage the health and well-being of a relationship. In your case, the damage wasn’t so far beyond repair that you couldn’t continue the relationship, but it seems to have damaged the possibility of marriage.

Is This The Relationship You Really Want?

While you are concerned about where your boyfriend sees this relationship going, you can’t forget to ask yourself whether this relationship is really right for you.

Yes, you maintained the relationship after cheating and you said that you only cheated because you felt like your boyfriend didn’t care about the relationship, but you should definitely reevaluate whether you truly want to spend the rest of your life with this man AND whether you can do that faithfully. Ultimately, your boyfriend told you not to expect a ring anytime soon and you need to take that to heart.

So, should you stay or should you go?

In my opinion, you definitely need to go. You are 26 years old and have many things ahead of you. You can’t spend the next 4 years of your life waiting to see if your boyfriend is going to get over your cheating and marry you.

If you wait around in this relationship for too long hoping for a proposal, you may come to regret that decision one day. Check out the blog post I wrote about this: How Long Is Too Long To Wait For A Wedding Ring?
Yours Truly,Dee

Are You Picking The Wrong First Date Outfits?

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Getting ready for a date can be stressful and when you pick the wrong outfit it can affect your ability to fully enjoy a date. When you’re picking a first date outfit, comfort is truly key.

Obviously, you want to look gorgeous for your date, but you also need to feel great in whatever it is that you’re wearing. Being comfortable in your outfit is really important because comfort will breed confidence!

Comfort Breeds Confidence

When you’re uncomfortable in your clothes you’ll fidget throughout the date, constantly pulling on your clothes or trying to readjust them. This is insecure behavior.

Here’s the thing, many men do notice when you’re insecure about your appearance. They’ll notice you readjusting your pants when you sit down or stand.

Insecurity is not sexy, cute, or attractive. Men like confident women, period! When you see that gorgeous guy walking down the street with an average girl, it’s her confidence and personality that takes her from being a 6 or 7 to a full 10.

So, on your first dates, you want to wear something that you’re not only comfortable in, but something that also makes you look and feel beautiful too. This way, your confidence can take you from a 6 or 7 to a full 10!

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of StockImages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What’s Your Beauty Factors?

When you feel beautiful you exude beauty! But, what makes one woman feel beautiful though may not make another woman feel beautiful.

For some women, the beauty factor is in the hair, make up, outfit, or a combination of all three.

And, truthfully, you should be paying attention to all three of these beauty factors when you’re getting ready for your date.

You can’t wear a great outfit, but have a hot mess on your head or overly caked on makeup. So, pay attention to your outfit, hair, and make up when you’re getting ready for your date.

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Confidence Isn’t Arrogance

No matter what you think makes you beautiful, just remember that you need to be your most confident self on your date.

Now, some people confuse confidence with arrogance. But, arrogance is never the way to go!

You can definitely be confident and know you’re beautiful without being arrogant or cocky. So, know the difference and always be your best, most confident self without being obnoxiously arrogant.

The next time you’re getting ready for a date, keep in mind that you want to look like a lady, a woman a man would be proud to call his own.

And, know that there’s a fine line between sexy and slutty. You definitely don’t want to be on the wrong end!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee

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It’s Easier To Leave Than To Be Left

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When you’re in a relationship and your boyfriend has to leave town for a trip or some other reason, you probably find it hard to watch him leave.

You may even feel alone because the time you would normally spend with your boyfriend becomes a void or a gap.

The funny thing is, when it’s you that has to leave town it’s not as hard to leave as it is to be left by your boyfriend.

When you’re leaving for a trip, leisurely or work-related, it’s easier to leave because you have something to look forward to or your time will be occupied for the most part.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Who Has It Easier In A Break Up?

Now, turning this to break ups, it’s also always easier to break up with a boyfriend than to be broken up with.

This obviously isn’t the case if you’re breaking up with your boyfriend because of cheating or some other wrong.

Truthfully though, there’s something about having control over the break up that gives you an element of ease. You weren’t blindsided by the break up, you thought the decision through, and you decided the best move for yourself was to move on.

With these things in mind, you obviously wouldn’t be as torn up over the break up since you’re the person that decided to end it.

So, it’s really true in many aspects actually, it’s always easier to leave than be left!

For more great dating advice, get my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve

Till Next Time,

Dee